It's almost been a week since I lost Sammi. My heart hearts so much, I don't feel like I can stand it. She was my best friend and I loved every second I was with her. When I got her, she had Parvo and almost died. We bonded instantly during her recovery. Every minute I spend without her scares me because I am terrified of forgetting her.
We only had 2 years together, but I dreamed of so much more. My life was perfect, I'm graduating from law school and getting married this year. The things I so looked forward to only a week ago, just bring me sadness because it is going to be memories without her. We were planning on taking a wedding photo without her.
It feels so unfair, we weren't the type of people who were neglectful or unappreciative of her. The one time the gate was open, she ran across the road when she heard her doggie friend. I feel guilty because I have always been judgmental when I hear about a dog getting hit by a car. This was the one and only time she ever ran from us, we never left open the gate, only this one time because we were pushing out the lawn mower. I was right there and heard everything. What I feel so bad about is that I ran in the house, I wanted to pretend I didn't hear it, I knew she was gone. That was my one job, to protect her from the road and I failed.
The house is so lonely, we were planning on such a great future together. Sammi really loved life and everyone she met. There are a lot of people across the country mourning her.
My fiance wants to rescue another dog like we did Sammi. He can't stand the thought of another great dog sleeping in a pound. I just don't know if I can love another dog the same way. She was my baby and soulmate.

Sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I lost my Sidney a little over a month ago and it still is a very raw situation with me. It truly is a really tough thing to go through, losing a really special critter. I wish that it wasn't so.

I am trying to get up the nerve sometime fairly soon to take in another little guy. It will happen it's just a matter of when. I hope that you find the courage to do the same. There's just too many of them out there that really deserve a good home and I'm quite sure that you would provide one for a new pet.

Good luck and I hope that your pain eases soon.

Thank you for your response. I feel like people around me think I should be "getting over" it by now. It's only been a week! I don't feel like I will ever get over it. I am thinking about adopting from a shelter, but I don't want people to think I'm replacing Sammi, because I could never do that. I don't want to lose memories of her while I add new ones of a new dog. I am thinking about creating a scrapbook and writing down all my favorite stories, so I can look at it all the time and hopefully one day smile instead of cry. And to top everything off, I am so angry with my cat right now. They were good buddies and I know she misses her too, but I have some resentment that she gets to live on and Sammi doesn't. I know that is not fair because I love her just as much, but she is not as affectionate and I really miss that from Sammi.
I hope that you get a chance to get another buddy too. Maybe it will be something to look forward to.

I'm so sorry about your loss. Coupled with guilt, pain of such a loss is unbearable. The accident, and remember that is was an accident, took your friend from you, a terrible price.

You will know, I believe, when the time is right to get another pet. No you won't love him or her the same, but that doesn't mean you can't love him or her as much. I am saying this, while feeling that I could never get another dog since no dog could be as wonderful as Daisy. Yet, one day, when my son is older, he and I will go to the pound and take home a dog who no one else wants, a dog at the end of the line. That will be my tribute to Daisy. Again, I am sorry for your loss and really understand your feelings




Daisy's Mommy

I just wanted to add that the feelings (Sammi 1) is having are totally normal. So many of us have dealt with similiar feelings with our pets that remain with us. It has been almost 21 months now since I lost Sasha and I still find myself having moments of resentment towards my living dog, Zada, although I try very hard not to let her feel the effects of it. Actually, the guilt of it causes me to shower her with extra attention, so she probably thinks it's great! When Sasha first died, I actually felt angry at Zada for being allowed to live when my Sasha was gone! How horrible is that?!?!?! Like I said, I still have my moments...it is so hard for me because Sasha and Zada were completely opposite of one another. Sasha was brave, intelligent, loyal to the point that she couldn't let me go to the restroom alone...would no doubt give her life for me...she always seemed so greatful for everything from the first day I brought her home from the shelter and felt so human to me. Zada on the other hand (she is a Great Dane for those who know the breeds charateristics ) is scared of her own shadow, not the sharpest tack in the box, and has no idea what loyal means... she won't even get out of bed unless she needs to go to the bathroom or eat! I love Zada dearly, and what she lacks otherwise she definitely makes up for in the affection department, but I crave that relationship I had with Sasha...that 'best buddies' kind of relationship that goes beyond just a well loved pet...ya know? I hate to feel this way about good ol' Zada...she is such a big love bunny, and I appreciate that about her, but she just doesn't have that human like personality that Sasha had. I have to remind myself almost daily that Zada is Zada, not Sasha, and that she will never be Sasha...there will never be another Sasha...I think that is the hardest part to swallow, and the reality of even typing that sentence has just sent me into a flood of tears. I just want others who may be experiencing this and beating themselves up about it (as I did for so long until I heard others say that they were feeling the same way) that it is normal, but to just try your best not to let your living baby feel these emotions, it just isn't fair to them. One day they will be gone and all their unique personality traits will be missed as well, so cherish them while they are still here...as we have all painfully learned, nothing is forever............
your friend in grief,
Kim

I am having another rough night. I can't stand it when it gets dark because I know I will lose it again. It is so final at night, she is definitely not coming back. I look for her everywhere, I don't know if I can stand to stay in this house anymore. I wish there was some sign that she was still with me. How can something so good and perfect be taken away so quickly. I know she had a purpose on earth ~ she was with to bring us joy and make us appreciate every little thing in life. But why was she taken from me.
The doorbell rang tonight, and I instinctly waited for the series of barking from her. It was painfully quiet. Every morning I think, Sammi needs to go out.
Do you all really think she is in a better place? I hate that phrase because I know she had a great place here. I hate that she is not here for me to love, I need her more than she needed me I think.

Sammi 1

Oh my you said I hate to hear shes in a better place boy did that hit home with me

My Tillie died very quickly totally unexpected at the hospital without me. The dr said shes in a better place EVEN my husband said that in attempt to comfort me and I was angry and horrified at that because Tillie loved this home this is where she wanted to be! I knew there was no better place but here! But try to remember people are at a loss for words so they grasp at the standbyes and its not their fault.
I am so sorry for your loss but I am not sure there are any words that really can help at this time it plain and simple hurts ,hurts,hurts but with all the tears you have cried and will cry it seems to realses some of the hurt in time thats all we can do really is wait for the hurt to ease somewhat.

Tillies mom

It's been 9 days without my Sammi. I am so afraid of forgetting her, but when I look around my house, all I see is her. I really expect to look up and see her asking me to go to bed.
I am getting angry because I don't know why this had to happen to her. She loved life so much and she had so much left to live. Even today, I thought, there is no reason that she should not be here with me while I was in the yard.
I wish I knew when I could go 5 minutes without the sadness that is in my heart.

I believe your Sammi and my Zooey are indeed in a good place.
You will never forget. I still remember my first dog, Sandy, who died in 1980. The pain subsides, but you do not forget. I miss Zooey terribly, as it's only been two weeks. All I have left are photographs and memories (and the scratching post, which hasn't been moved).



Faith is being sure of what you hope for, and certain of what you do not see.
Hebrews