Our Pug Passed Away While We Are On Vacation

My husband and I left for vacation this past Wednesday. Yesterday morning I got a frantic call from our pet sitter that something was wrong with our 13 year old pug, and it looked like a seizure. She rushed her to the emergency vet but she was already gone. While she was old and we knew this was coming in the next few years, we are stunned and heartbroken. She never had a seizure in the 8 years since we adopted her, and had no known health issues aside from arthritis. The vet was less than helpful and couldn't tell me what he thought might have happened.

We have a week of vacation ahead of us and I don't know how we're going to enjoy ourselves. I feel nothing but sorrow and grief and I feel horrible that I didn't get to say goodbye. Going home and her not being there is going to be horrible. We still have our three kitties who I can't wait to get home to, but we won't have Yoshi's wiggles to greet us with excitement like she always does.

This is the first pet that I've lost. I've lost family pets but she's the first one who was mine. How do you heal from this?

Does anyone have any idea what might have happened to her? The pet sitter said that she wasn't acting quite herself that morning. They were sitting on the couch together and she rolled over, yelped and seized for about a minute, making little yelps as she did so. She stopped moving and her tongue was sticking out. It sounds like at that point she was gone. I'll never get over not being able to say goodbye to my sweet girl. One of my biggest fears has always been that something would happen to our pets while traveling. It's going to be very hard to leave them again.