Farewell (for Now) My Beloved Siegel

Today is July 1 and this is the day I told myself I would make this post.

On April 21, 2015 at around 5:35 pm my beloved friend Siegel died peacefully at home with me right by her side. She was in her 18th year and she died almost exactly 3 years after my cat friend Rusty died (Dirty Frostbitten Stray that Turned into a Prince post). I knew Siegel was growing older and more frail over the three years. I treasured every moment with her and I think she with me. In her last week she was losing bowel control so I knew the end was near. I stayed home with her the whole week. The last couple days she stopped eating and grew weaker and weaker. The night before she died I helped her off the bed and she walked (more like wobbled) to all her favorite spots and visited for a few seconds at each place. I knew what she was doing. After looking out the window she headed to her favorite spot but collapsed on the way. I carried her from then on, placing her in sunny spots all the next day. She lifted her head and looked for me whenever I left her side for a few moments and her paw was wrapped around my finger until she was too weak to hold on. She waited for my husband Mark to come home from work--stirred when she heard him come in the door (Siegel adored Mark her whole life). After he gave her a pet she took her last breaths. I am certain this is how Siegel wanted this to be--quietly at home and on her own terms.

That was how she died but that was not her life. Siegel came to live with us from the Humane Society August 15, 1998 and our house was home with her in it. She was about a year old when we got her and she had the biggest globe eyes ever. Such a beautiful cat and we knew right away she was feisty. She had an upper respiratory infection but my husband and I could not hold that little cat in a towel to give her meds. We gave up and on her own terms, she got well without meds. Every other time I tried to give her pills, she'd gobble them up in food but when I'd vacuum behind the couch, there were all the pills. Strong-willed, independent and so smart. I watched Sig make stairs out of drawers one time to get to something up on a shelf that was too high for her to reach by jumping. Sig was a small cat and we called her "Tiny" as a nickname sometimes but she had a presence 100x her size. So much personality. You knew Sig was in the room--I sometimes feel that presence still and I'm so grateful for that. Sig and I understood each other and I knew what all the little sounds meant and when I looked into those big globe eyes, it was like I could see her spirit. My son Ben when he was little used to ask how I knew what the cats were saying. I just do I'd tell him.

Siegel has left the world where I can see and hear her and I miss her so very much. My father died in the year as well as an a[attachment=6880:favorite_of_Sig_2.JPG]unt who was like a mom to me. I'm numb really and it is just too much with Sig now. This is why I told myself to wait until July 1 to post. Now I have. My heart will never be complete again but I know how to survive until we are all together again.

To Siegel: I remember you Sig. I love you kitty and always will. Farewell my beloved and loyal cat friend, but just for now. One day I will look into those big beautiful eyes and see you again my love.

Dirty Frostbitten Stray That Turned Into A Prince

In the summer of 1999 I spotted a dirty, frost bitten and hungry cat by some garbage cans. I went closer to see him but he ran under a truck and looked up at me. He was wild and nobody's cat. He looked like he was barely surviving and would never make it another winter. I put out a bit of food for him and he started coming every day for a meal. At first I couldn't get close to him. I would sit at a distance as he ate and he watched me out of the corner of his eye. After about two weeks he let me get close enough to give him a rub around his ears. That was that. Rusty a long haired orange cat came inside to live 13 happy years with us (my husband Mark, my other kitty Siegel and later our son Ben). He turned out to be a prince, my prince. He was gentle and loving and was always at my side like a shadow. You'd never have guessed to see him that first day but he turned out to be a gorgeous cat with a flowing orange and white coat (he was voted Mr March in a Humane Society Calendar contest years ago). And he was so loving and gentle with a roaring purr. He'd lift up for me to pick him up and he'd put his paws around my neck and his head on my shoulder and stay like that until I let go, never him.

My love died May 26, 2012. He was with me 13 years but the vet estimated he lived outside for maybe two years so he was 15. He was struggling the last year or so and we'll never know exactly why he died (blood tests showed he had a number of things going on) but the morning of May 26 he collapsed and I knew it was time. That morning he slowly followed me everywhere. After he collapsed he howled whenever I would leave him for a few minutes. He just wanted to die with me. After he had a seizure in his arms I took him to the vet. He died looking up at me with that same wonderful gaze that I first saw when he looked up at me from under the truck 13 years before.

I miss Rusty so much. I loved him move than words can ever express and I will always love him. It has been 8 weeks of searing heartache. Yesterday I heard "still" when I was talking to someone about it and all I could think was "always". I know I will be with him again some day but the physical separation is so difficult. We were inseparable Rusty and I. I've read posts on this site since May but only felt I could post my own story today. Others around try to help but unless you've loved and lost an animal as much as I did, you don't understand. Turns out my other kitty Siegel (around the same age) is starting to have kidney issues so I watch and wait with her now too. It is all difficult but I have hope in the love eternal.

Thanks for listening and I'm grateful there is a place that I can leave some cyber evidence that Rusty, a once a dirty frostbitten stray meant something to someone, he had a family and was dearly loved in this world for the prince he was. I'll always love you Rus- always.