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> Losing My Best Friend Of 23 Years. I'm In So Much Pain.
Journogirl
post Mar 20 2017, 03:29 AM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 7
Joined: 19-March 17
Member No.: 9,015



Sleep tight my beautiful angel Marmite. 23 years old, my best friend since I was 10. It's been an epic love affair ❤️ This little this angel has looked after me through these past decades, through good times and bad-broken hearts, broken bones, illness, family changes, ups, downs & 3 different houses. Whatever went down in life ( recently a painful divorce for me) my little black and white baby was there with so much love...following me all over and giving me so much joy. She was such a personality & such a happy vocal little soul. (my neighbour 2 doors down could even hear her meow! SO LOUD!) These past few weeks it was my turn to look after her, feed her by hand, and cuddle her tired old little aching bones. Oh Marms, I just wanted you around forever 😕 there's no cat better than you my darling-my little feline best pal, what a beautiful brilliant little angel. You brought so much happiness to us all. We'll all miss you so much my angel ❤️ Sleep tight precious, I'll miss you every second of every single day.

It hurts so so much. The aching in my heart and soul is so epic that I want to tear my heart out. I'm just heartbroken.
I've raised marmite since she was 6 weeks old and I was 10. She thought I was her mother. I was.
The pain is so much. I just miss her so so much. I loved her so deeply.
I had to make the choice to have her put to sleep, I have guilt and so many unanswered questions. Was it the right thing?
Should i have bought her home? It hurts so much. I miss her so much. I feel so lonely now. My heart is broken.

I wrote this poem. I hope it can help some of you lovely people here. We are all hurting.

We may not have tomorrow,
But do not say goodbye,
For I am all around you,
I do not tell a lie.
I'm the sunrise in the morning,
The sun that sets at night.
I'm the birdsong in the treetops
I'm the early morning light

Wherever you go, I'll go
And I'll hold you by the hand,
I'm the whisper in the wind
I'm the footprints in the sand.

You'll never have to leave me
And we'll never have to part
For my love is all around you
And you'll carry me in your heart.

Sleep tight Angel marmite. My life was beautiful for having you as my beloved baby ***
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moon_beam
post Mar 20 2017, 09:36 AM
Post #2


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From: Virginia
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Hi, Journogirl, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Marmite. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Journogirl, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. One of the many emotions we all experiences is guilt / remorse for this comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys that haunt and torture our hearts when we are so emotionally vulnerable. From what you share with us there is no doubt that you did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Marmite a happy and healthy earthly journey. I hope in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Marmite knows that you love her and that your decision to release her sweet Living Spirit from her failing, frail physical body is a decision that you made from the deepest love you have for her - - you put her needs above yours especially at a time when your heart was breaking under the burden of deepest sorrow.

This is what love is, Journogiril. And the good news in the midst of all this pain is that the love bond you and your beloved Marmite share is eternal - - it is not restricted by the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Marmite's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep sorrow there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Marmite with us, and these wonderful pictures of your beautiful girl. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Journogirl, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Journogirl
post Mar 20 2017, 11:50 AM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 7
Joined: 19-March 17
Member No.: 9,015



QUOTE (moon_beam @ Mar 20 2017, 09:36 AM) *
Hi, Journogirl, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Marmite. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Journogirl, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. One of the many emotions we all experiences is guilt / remorse for this comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys that haunt and torture our hearts when we are so emotionally vulnerable. From what you share with us there is no doubt that you did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Marmite a happy and healthy earthly journey. I hope in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Marmite knows that you love her and that your decision to release her sweet Living Spirit from her failing, frail physical body is a decision that you made from the deepest love you have for her - - you put her needs above yours especially at a time when your heart was breaking under the burden of deepest sorrow.

This is what love is, Journogiril. And the good news in the midst of all this pain is that the love bond you and your beloved Marmite share is eternal - - it is not restricted by the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Marmite's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep sorrow there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Marmite with us, and these wonderful pictures of your beautiful girl. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Journogirl, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


Thankyou for your kind and lovely message. It is a comfort and so sweet of you. At the moment aswell as the grief I feel such strong guilt. I always think it's cruel that the brain does this. I loved and cherished her for 23 years almost obsessively like my child. Yet now I keep thinking, " I wish I had brushed her more" or stroked her more ( even though I did so much) I wish I hadn't snapped sometimes when she meowed so loud... This guilt eats me up. Is it normal? I miss her so much. She was my soulmate here on earth. I feel so heartbroken ***
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moon_beam
post Mar 20 2017, 12:29 PM
Post #4


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Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,088
Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, Journogirl, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief when you share with us "Yet now I keep thinking, " I wish I had brushed her more" or stroked her more ( even though I did so much) I wish I hadn't snapped sometimes when she meowed so loud... This guilt eats me up. Is it normal?" Indeed, this is very normal. Unfortunately the emotion of guilt / remorse is one of the harder emotions to reconcile because we are so emotionally vulnerable when we are in deep grief. Hopefully in time as you travel you grief adjustment journey you will come to find a peace in your heart that you gave your beloved Marmite a happy, healthy earthly journey - - a journey filled with love that is eternal.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Journogirl, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Marmite's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Journogirl
post Mar 20 2017, 12:35 PM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 7
Joined: 19-March 17
Member No.: 9,015



QUOTE (moon_beam @ Mar 20 2017, 12:29 PM) *
Hi, Journogirl, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief when you share with us "Yet now I keep thinking, " I wish I had brushed her more" or stroked her more ( even though I did so much) I wish I hadn't snapped sometimes when she meowed so loud... This guilt eats me up. Is it normal?" Indeed, this is very normal. Unfortunately the emotion of guilt / remorse is one of the harder emotions to reconcile because we are so emotionally vulnerable when we are in deep grief. Hopefully in time as you travel you grief adjustment journey you will come to find a peace in your heart that you gave your beloved Marmite a happy, healthy earthly journey - - a journey filled with love that is eternal.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Journogirl, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Marmite's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


Thankyou so much. I feel heartbroken and lonely without her. I'm trying to keep busy and have rearranged my living room as it hurt so much to see where she would sleep up on the sofa. She was so little she loved to be up high
I made a little collage. She was so beautiful
Thankyou for your love, support and care. It means so much
X

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Journogirl
post Mar 20 2017, 07:18 PM
Post #6





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 7
Joined: 19-March 17
Member No.: 9,015



QUOTE (Journogirl @ Mar 20 2017, 12:35 PM) *
Thankyou so much. I feel heartbroken and lonely without her. I'm trying to keep busy and have rearranged my living room as it hurt so much to see where she would sleep up on the sofa. She was so little she loved to be up high
I made a little collage. She was so beautiful
Thankyou for your love, support and care. It means so much
X


I miss you so much my beautiful girl ***
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LittleGirl's...
post Mar 21 2017, 06:13 PM
Post #7





Group: Moderators
Posts: 845
Joined: 24-March 04
From: Maine
Member No.: 274



Journogirl, I'm so sorry for the physical loss of your girl ! sad.gif

She'll always be with you, and she knows how very much you love her. wub.gif

I feel for you and all of us here about the guilt thing. Those feelings still eat me up. I agree that it's a cruel thing the brain does and I don't understand "why."

You're in my prayers. Do you have supportive friends/family/other pets who are going through this with you?

Big hugs,
Kathy

QUOTE (Journogirl @ Mar 20 2017, 08:18 PM) *
I miss you so much my beautiful girl ***



--------------------
Compassion for all animals. www.earthlings.com
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Lulusmom
post Mar 22 2017, 03:49 PM
Post #8





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 14
Joined: 7-March 17
Member No.: 9,007



Hi Journogirl,
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Marmite. She had a very long life with you so I am sure her loss is very difficult. I am still going through grief from the loss of my dog, Lulu, almost 6 weeks ago so please know you are not alone. Your poem for Marmite was so pretty.

Lulusmom
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Journogirl
post Mar 22 2017, 07:34 PM
Post #9





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 7
Joined: 19-March 17
Member No.: 9,015



Thankyou so much for the sweet and kind replies.
Life without her feels so empty and strange.
I miss my angel so much
It helps immensely to know I have the support of such kind people.
I spoke to a pet grief specialist at the blue cross animal charity today, they were so kind.
Thanks again so very much
X
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Rocksy
post Apr 1 2017, 04:15 PM
Post #10





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 3
Joined: 30-March 17
Member No.: 9,022



Your poem was ...everything a heartfelt tribute should be,
I I take your words into my soul and hope it can help heal me

My 21 year old, whom I can not be away from, is OK

. ..I believe that this is something you might care about
,
I lost my youngest, 7, a rescued kitty from a hoarder, three weeks ago.
She had poly-cystic kidney disease, controlled with meds.. given a clean bill of health Feb 2017
Something happened two weeks later

I will spare you all the details but in 4 hours..after x-rays, utrasounds etc she was so stressed ,my darling vet said to take her home and give her interveinous fluids,
Aftee her fluids her gums were white and I was giving her mouth to mouth...she was trying to scream
She lost her ability to breathe
My vet arrived..I told him that ..I was not ready...but she was sufferring, we were both crying
I had to give her up before she struggled for breath one more time
I must have missed something, the more I look the more I can find.... I am destroyed
This is my (taken partly from a commerical) song
You..are.. by far
..a fairytale
..come to real life....

..how can it be..
In such a short time..
You become one of my....
....favorite things
...part of me

Thank you for listening
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