(weird) New Year's Grief/stress Options

[BabyHenry]

I lost two well loved pets this year (2016) and for some reason I am grief stricken over the upcoming year change to 2017- I feel like no longer "being in" the same year that Pumpkin and Sweet Spot were alive is a new loss or greater separation. I can't explain it; I know it so CRAZY and irrational, yet I've been crying about it almost every day since Christmas. Yeah, I know the calendar is arbitrary and January 1 is only 1 day different from December 31. It just feels like more and more distance between us and a deepening of loss. I miss you guys so much, and think of you every day.

I'm crazy like this, I think, feeling like I can "hold on" even though they are gone. After Sweet Spot died in August my husband tried to give away his extra unopened food. I hid it in the guest room closet so he couldn't. It was literally too painful to get rid of it. I still have it hidden away - perfectly good cat food that I know some shelter cats would love to have and I KNOW I should give it to them. I just can't yet.

If my husband is reading this - now you know where all the Weruva cans went . . ..

[LittleGirl's...]

Aww BabyHenry, that is not weird at all.

I relate to this a lot. I lost my sweet Dolly in July of 2012, and I moved in September of that year.. It felt so weird that Dolly hadn't ever been in this new place with Sunny, Cubby, and me.

(Quick set-up to the story I'm about to share: A friend had given me 3 wooden cats [like the "silhouette" cats that you can place up over the corners of doors/windows] and he had painted each to look like each of my 3 cats. Each cat was a different shape, by the way...)

So... I was cleaning... and I pulled out the stove that was already in the house. There behind the stove was an exact match to the cut-out of the cat that my friend had painted as Dolly! Same shape as Dolly's, but unpainted wood. I had the instant feeling that she was here with us.

Since in the realm where Dolly, Pumpkin, and Sweet Spot are, there are no time/space limitations -- just bliss. So they are with us no matter what year it is, no matter what house we live in. We'll always be together. And when it is our time to pass we'll be fully reunited.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you're doing as the New Year kicks in.

Sending good thoughts!
-Kathy
P.S. Your line about your husband and the Wereva was so funny!!

I lost two well loved pets this year (2016) and for some reason I am grief stricken over the upcoming year change to 2017- I feel like no longer "being in" the same year that Pumpkin and Sweet Spot were alive is a new loss or greater separation. I can't explain it; I know it so CRAZY and irrational, yet I've been crying about it almost every day since Christmas. Yeah, I know the calendar is arbitrary and January 1 is only 1 day different from December 31. It just feels like more and more distance between us and a deepening of loss. I miss you guys so much, and think of you every day.

I'm crazy like this, I think, feeling like I can "hold on" even though they are gone. After Sweet Spot died in August my husband tried to give away his extra unopened food. I hid it in the guest room closet so he couldn't. It was literally too painful to get rid of it. I still have it hidden away - perfectly good cat food that I know some shelter cats would love to have and I KNOW I should give it to them. I just can't yet.

If my husband is reading this - now you know where all the Weruva cans went . . ..

[moon_beam]

Hi, BabyHenry, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I totally agree with everything our forum friend Kathy has shared with you. Grieving doesn't come with an "instruction manual" - - it isn't supposed to be "rational". It is vitally important that you allow yourself the opportunities to feel and acknowledge your grief, and have your grief validated - - even if you have to hide things until YOU'RE ready to decide what to do with them (and hopefully your husband won't read your post).

I do understand so very well how you're feeling about anticipating a "new year" that doesn't feel "right". As our forum friend Kathy has shared with you, so I would also like to affirm her comforting words of encouragement "Since in the realm where Dolly, Pumpkin, and Sweet Spot are, there are no time/space limitations -- just bliss. So they are with us no matter what year it is, no matter what house we live in. We'll always be together. And when it is our time to pass we'll be fully reunited."

I hope today is treating you kindly, BabyHenry, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Pumpkin's and Sweet Spot's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam