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> I'm Lost For Words
moon_beam
post Nov 24 2016, 01:55 PM
Post #21


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Hi, Kevin, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Sadie, and you, are doing. Kevin, I am soooooo sooooooo sorry about the new lump you have discovered on her neck. I know how your heart sank when you felt it - - I went through a similar situation with my beloved beautiful baby feline companion Abbygayle when she was diagnosed with Fibrosarcoma which manifested tumors on her left hip. The tumors kept coming back faster and faster after each surgery - - after the third surgery I promised her no more. So I do sooooooo understand how heartsick you are feeling. I know you are already cherishing every moment of every hour of every day with her, as she is with you - - and espeically knowing that your earthly journey is becoming shorter.Please know your precious Sadie, and you, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how her medical visit goes on Monday.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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LittleGirl's...
post Nov 26 2016, 06:09 AM
Post #22





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Oh Kevin,, I'm so sorry!

Will be thinking of you on Monday and will await your next update.

Praying for a miracle!

Kathy


--------------------
Compassion for all animals. www.earthlings.com
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Barronk
post Dec 3 2016, 02:35 PM
Post #23





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 26
Joined: 27-March 15
Member No.: 8,583



All,

The pathology report came in and it even took the vet by surprise. We had hoped that the lump, even if it was cancer, would have been a different type of cancer and not metastatic to the osteosarcoma
that she had before. The report came in and it is indeed metastatic from her original cancer. It was the news I was expecting but the hardest part was having to hear the vet tell me that she does not
recommend any treatment and that we let the cancer run it's course until it is no longer possible to keep Sadie comfortable.

Even though I am already grieving at the thought of her no longer being here, I am happy that as of right now she is enjoying a very high quality of life. She eats, runs and plays and I don't intend on
wasting any of it. I am saddened at the thought of no longer having her by my side. She is a major source of comfort and security for me and my family.
She turns 6 in two days. What happened to her isn't fair. It will be a birthday party to remember for sure.

I will update as we go. The vet said as tumors go they are in good spots so they will have to get significantly bigger before they even begin to present a threat.
The hardest thing for me to do is watch my dogs go down hill. It possesses every ounce of energy that I have and I find it hard to go on with my day and even take care of my daily responsibilities.
Please pray for me and my family as a big part of us is being taken away from us.
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moon_beam
post Dec 4 2016, 11:54 AM
Post #24


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Hi, Kevin, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your precious Sadie's test results. I can sooooooo understand how you're feeling when you share with us "She turns 6 in two days. What happened to her isn't fair." Two of my beloved feline companions - - my beloved number one kitty son Eli, and my beautiful baby girl Abbygayle - - joined the angels at 6 years of age due to two different cancers - - Eli with Lymphoma and Abbygayle with Fibrosarcoma - - within 3.5 years of each other. It broke my heart to lose their precious physical presence with me and their kitty brother Noah at such tender young ages when by all rights they should have had many more years to enjoy together in this earthly realm.

Kevin, please know we are here for you and your family as you travel your Anticipatory Grief journey. The good news is that your precious Sadie isn't in pain - - she is enjoying a good quality of life, and I know you are cherishing every moment of every hour of every day your precious Sadie is with you - - as she is.

Please know your precious Sadie, and you and your family, are in my thoughts and prayers, Kevin, and please let us know how each of you are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Barronk
post Dec 15 2016, 07:43 AM
Post #25





Group: Pet Lovers
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Sadie has begun the decline. The tumors are growing scary fast and she is showing signs that life is beginning to get painful. Today was the first day that we set food in front of her and she only ate
about 3/4 of her food. Very unlike her and a sign that something is very wrong. I don't even think she will make it to Christmas. I am so incredibly sad that I am having a hard time coping with
the emotions. The emptiness of this house is going to be numbing. Her presence missing from this home is going to be numbing. I fear that I won't be able to function, I fear I won't be able to even
go to work and complete the tasks that I need to complete. I am going to miss her so much. And there is nothing I can do to save her. Nothing I can do other than have her put down. I don't like
my options. But I don't know how long I can keep her like this. I keep giving myself lines in the sand, but she is still having good days rather than bad ones. I was hoping that the end would be a little
more clear. But it doesn't look like it's going to be.
I hate this part of pet ownership. She has given me 6 wonderful years. I wasn't always as attentive as I should have been. I allowed life to get in the way and she is the one that paid for how busy I was
but I hope I was a good dad. I am going to miss her. The next time you see me write it will be after she has left us.


Thank you all for being here, pray that I have the strength to do the right thing by her. I love her so much.
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moon_beam
post Dec 15 2016, 03:26 PM
Post #26


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Hi, Kevin, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Sadie, and you, are doing. Indeed, it is very heartbreaking to watch our precious companion's health decline and particularly so when they are diagnosed with a serious terminal illness. You are doing everything in your power to give your precious girl all the good days she can have as her journey with you transitions from this earthly realm. The good news in the midst of this painful process is that love is eternal - - it has no boundaries.

Please know your precious Sadie, and you and your family, are in my thoughts and prayers that each moment of each day will bring memories for you to cherish, and please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Barronk
post Jan 8 2017, 10:22 AM
Post #27





Group: Pet Lovers
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Sadie is gone.

She was doing well until last night. I was preparing for bed and suddenly something told me to sleep with her down stairs so I did. At around 4 in the morning she started having seizures. They were bad. Grand Mal all the way. She would appear to come
out of one and then she would start right back up into another. After awhile me and my wife, we didn't know what to do, so I rushed her to an emergency vet. The vet told me that it took 3 doses of anti-seizure medication to get them to stop and
with how long she had been in that state she told us that brain damage was almost a guarantee.

I wanted so badly to ask them to hold her and to wait to see if she came out of her state. But when I looked into Sadie's eyes and there was no acknowledgement of me or my wife we made the hard decision. We had to help her move on. I am broke.
My house is so empty and life is so meaningless without her. I am still in the denial stage, I can't believe she is gone. She was so important to me and I only had her for six years. I am going to miss her so much. The pain is overwhelming.

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moon_beam
post Jan 8 2017, 04:41 PM
Post #28


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Hi, Kevin, please permit me to offer you and your wife my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Sadie. There is no doubt you did the very best for your beloved Sadie during her earthly journey including making the most difficult decision to end her suffering. You put her needs first to release her from her failing, frail, painful physical body. This is what love is, and your beloved Sadie is so very thankful. The good news in the midst of all this deep sorrow is that the love bond you and your beloved Sadie share is eternal. Your beloved Sadie's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

Kevin, I do understand how you are feeling and how empty your home is feeling right now. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, please know you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Barronk
post Jan 10 2017, 09:56 AM
Post #29





Group: Pet Lovers
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I am feeling so guilty. It's been two days since Sadie passed away and I can't shake the guilt that I feel. Sadie had been sick for a long time. Her decline was fast but her death was unexpected. I should
have known that the days were limited, never knowing when the end would actually occur. And yet I still allowed other distractions around the house, that didn't need to be done, to allow me to leave
her on the couch by herself while I did things to occupy my mind. I should have been there with her every second, showing her love, showing her how important she was to us. Instead I was numbing
my brain with video games and other things that I didn't need to be doing. The only reason I can think I did this as I was trying to protect myself from having every activity be associated with her.

I knew she was on her way out, we never thought it would be from a brain tumor that caused seizures so bad that she was just be gone within hours. And now I can never show her that I love her ever
again. I feel so guilty. She would look at me from the couch as I was sitting across the way and I would always acknowledge her and I would always go to her at the end of the day and give her love
before bed.

The only thing that I have, the only thing that provides me any comfort is that the last memory she has is going to bed with me, as I pet her and loved her for the very last time. I didn't know it was
going to be the last time but I am glad that situation worked out the way it did. But I should have done better. I should have known and I should have been more aware of what I was going to lose.
I am so broken at the moment and I don't know what to do.
I am guilty of this, and I have to live with that. I hope she knows how important she was to this family.
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moon_beam
post Jan 11 2017, 10:06 AM
Post #30


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Hi, Kevin, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Of course your beloved Sadie knows how much she is loved - - she experienced it every hour of every day of her physical earthly journey with you, and her sweet Living Spirit continues to know your love because love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Her only desire during her earthly journey was to be with you - - to bring you joy and unconditional love, and this continues to be her desire now through your many treasured memories. When our hearts are entrenched in deep grief one of the many emotions we all experience is guilt / remorse which comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys that haunt and torture our hearts and minds when we are so emotionally vulnerable. I hope in time as your deep grief eases that you will find a peace in your heart that your beloved Sadie truly loves you unconditionally and only wants you to remember her with a happy heart.

I hope today is treating you and your family kindly, Kevin, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Sadie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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bluejules
post Jan 14 2017, 05:11 PM
Post #31





Group: Pet Lovers
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Member No.: 712



Oh Kevin, I am so sad to read about your experience. When I opened the thread I didn't know that your lovely dog was a Dobie.
We have a Dobie too and I fear that he is into his last days.
Dylan is 11 so he's an old man but we didn't get him until he was nearly five. A neighbour asked if we would re-home him as his previous owners decided they didn't want him anymore. We had two little dogs and we weren't looking for a third, especially a big dog like a Dobie. But my daughter begged us. He was her dog until she left to go to university. By that time he had won us over. What fantastic dogs Dobies are.

He's been happy and healthy until a month or so ago and he's declined pretty quickly over the past few weeks. And then, over the past few days, I feel that we are into the endgame. He is tired and weak. He isn't eating like he used to. Today was the first day ever that he didn't tuck into his food so I knew we were heading for bad times.

I've been through it before with my other pets. Two of my cats died young and very suddenly from cardiomyopathy. Our little Lancashire Heeler developed lymphoma and went downhill so very quickly - one day we had to call the vet to the house and end his pain.

We've been lucky to have Dylan and I'm sure you feel blessed that you had Sadie. We can never feel that we've had enough time with them. I knew this was coming and I thought I'd be more accepting of it because 11 is a good age for a Doberman. But it isn't any easier at all and even though he's still there, even though I've just stroked him and settled him down for the night, I am in so much emotional pain and terrified of what is to come.

What I do know is that in time I will start to heal. I never thought I'd be able to talk about Shaun, Solo, Ammy and Frankie without breaking down but I can. And I'm so grateful that I knew these wonderful pets - and I'm convinced they knew how much we loved them.

I came to this site 15 years ago when I lost Ammy and I return when I need to - over the years I've found a lot of comfort here. I'm thinking about you and truly hope that you will start to heal. You are a wonderful owner and Sadie knows that she couldn't have asked for better - no dog could.
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Barronk
post Jan 23 2017, 11:04 AM
Post #32





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BlueJules,

Thank you so much for your words. It has been a difficult two weeks without her. I was reading your story and how similar it is to ours. Sadie was our third dog as well, we had two smaller dogs Baxter and Abby, both Boston Terriers, who were pleased
to be the only dogs in the house and did not appreciate her presence. But they soon formed into a family. We got Sadie from a breeder when my wife and I first met. I got kicked out of my apartment because she was a restricted breed so I moved in
with my wife, she was not my wife at the time we were just ****** at this point, and we soon formed what would be known as the Barron family.

Abby was older and she passed away in her sleep in 2015. Baxter is still with us but he is 13 and declining into old age quickly. I completely understand the pain at watching your dogs decline. Sadie was doing so well and she began to decline and the
decline was so fast it was almost comical. It was very difficult to watch my strong, energetic Doberman get beat down, not by old age, but cancer. At only 6 years old she only lived about half of what she should have. She was awesome with my young
children.

I miss her so much. She was an ambassador for her breed, she taught me so much throughout my life but she never taught me how to live without her. We got her ashes back last week and she has taken a place among our lost loved four legged friends
on our dresser. She will go with us wherever we go and she will be buried with me when I die. She has endeared us to the breed and we plan on adopting two Dobies whenever the time is right. The scary thing is when I look at the story of many
Dobermans over the internet Sadie's story is all too common. Dobies seem to die young rather than make it to old age.

It isn't fair. Again I thank you for your kind words and allow me to express my sincere sorrow for your loved ones that are facing the end of the earthly walk. We always carry their paw prints that they have left with us. And we will see them again.
I know this. I wish you peace and comfort during these difficult times as you prepare to say goodbye. But remember it's only a goodbye for now.

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bluejules
post Jan 24 2017, 12:53 PM
Post #33





Group: Pet Lovers
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Thank you so much, BarronK. I shed so many tears over Dylan the weekend that I wrote the last post, but after that he seemed to perk up quite a lot. I was so glad to see him wagging his tiny tail and moving around, seemingly without any pain; I almost fooled myself that he wasn't so ill after all.

But today I have arrived back from work and he has taken a turn for the worse. His lymph glands have now become very swollen and he is starting to accumulate fluid in his legs. He hasn't lost his appetite but is now starting to vomit. We know now that he has lymphoma - having lost our little dog Solo to this disease, we are only too familiar with the signs. With Solo, the decline was incredibly quick at the end and I am bracing myself for this. When Solo started to have difficulty breathing we called the vet to come to the house and grant him a painless and peaceful passage. It's so difficult for me to look at Dylan now and realise that we are probably close to this stage.

Here in the West Lancashire moorland we are lucky enough to have a beautiful pet cemetery only a few miles away. Our beloved pets have been cremated and their ashes are interred in our 'family plot', which is where we will go when the time comes.

I wonder how our Staffordshire Bull Terrier, Luna, will cope when Dylan is gone; she shares a room with him at the moment. But she will have to learn to cope, as we all will. Sad times.
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Barronk
post Jan 24 2017, 11:16 PM
Post #34





Group: Pet Lovers
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QUOTE (bluejules @ Jan 24 2017, 12:53 PM) *
Thank you so much, BarronK. I shed so many tears over Dylan the weekend that I wrote the last post, but after that he seemed to perk up quite a lot. I was so glad to see him wagging his tiny tail and moving around, seemingly without any pain; I almost fooled myself that he wasn't so ill after all.

But today I have arrived back from work and he has taken a turn for the worse. His lymph glands have now become very swollen and he is starting to accumulate fluid in his legs. He hasn't lost his appetite but is now starting to vomit. We know now that he has lymphoma - having lost our little dog Solo to this disease, we are only too familiar with the signs. With Solo, the decline was incredibly quick at the end and I am bracing myself for this. When Solo started to have difficulty breathing we called the vet to come to the house and grant him a painless and peaceful passage. It's so difficult for me to look at Dylan now and realise that we are probably close to this stage.

Here in the West Lancashire moorland we are lucky enough to have a beautiful pet cemetery only a few miles away. Our beloved pets have been cremated and their ashes are interred in our 'family plot', which is where we will go when the time comes.

I wonder how our Staffordshire Bull Terrier, Luna, will cope when Dylan is gone; she shares a room with him at the moment. But she will have to learn to cope, as we all will. Sad times.



It is so hard to watch them decline and I know the decision is painful. I know, that whatever happens, the decision you make, and when you make it will be the right one. I am thinking of you during this
time and I wish for a peaceful resolution whenever that may come.
I know how you feel about your other fur babies coping with loss. The only piece of advice I can offer is to give your other dogs a chance to view the body after your beloved passes. Sadie's
situation happened so rapidly we didn't have this chance with Baxter and his transition to being the only dog has been extremely rough. He is declining himself with brain stem issues but it was
obvious that he was stressed out over Sadie just disappearing on him.

If I could do it all over again I would scoop him up and have taken him to the emergency vet with us before we did it, but it all happened so quick. I miss her a bunch and the house just isn't the same
without her. But it is getting easier with time. I can smile when I look at the pictures of her and I can remember the fond times that we had together.
We never get enough time with them and how quickly the time that we do have goes.
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LittleGirl's...
post Jan 25 2017, 02:21 PM
Post #35





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Hi Kevin, my heartfelt sympathies on the physical passing of your precious girl.

I have to steal a paragraph from moon_beam's response to you. It was so beautifully written, and it expresses exactly how I feel about the bond between you and Sadie. wub.gif : "Of course your beloved Sadie knows how much she is loved - - she experienced it every hour of every day of her physical earthly journey with you, and her sweet Living Spirit continues to know your love because love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Her only desire during her earthly journey was to be with you - - to bring you joy and unconditional love, and this continues to be her desire now through your many treasured memories. When our hearts are entrenched in deep grief one of the many emotions we all experience is guilt / remorse which comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys that haunt and torture our hearts and minds when we are so emotionally vulnerable. I hope in time as your deep grief eases that you will find a peace in your heart that your beloved Sadie truly loves you unconditionally and only wants you to remember her with a happy heart. "

Prayers of peace coming your way!
Kathy


--------------------
Compassion for all animals. www.earthlings.com
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