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Lightning-Strike Pet Loss Support Forum _ Pet Memorials, Tributes, and Eulogies _ The Beginning

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Aug 1 2011, 08:44 PM

2018 3-10 a better beginning I promise..
<Ludovico Einaudi - Primavera 6:41>

I became your paw print to find a better life for friends that you would be so happy to play with
these guy's where in bad shape...because i looked back to see you walking in my foot prints;) we walk the same path my friend....

I will not recall the last few hours of Jens life i will hold that close to my heart on april 30th 2011 2;58 pm< In my promise was one to never let her suffer> for 15 years she always came first
if you know Duchshund you never really own them your just a care taker;) I love you my friend

To walk beside me and never fear
to sit by my side with not one tear
To hold you close to my heart and know how much i care
To wish for times that can never be
i cry myself to sleep
Only to see you in my dreams
to sit beside you in the sun
Soft wind blow

Jenna April 8,1996 to April 30th 2011


Posted by: leejaye Aug 3 2011, 11:14 PM

Hi Todd, I'm so very sorry about the loss of your beautiful 15 year old Jenna (that photo of her is really lovely), I had my Mischief cat child with me for 17 years, and like LoveMyMickey said, it's never enough...I can hear in your words how much you loved each other -now she lives in your heart forever, she will never leave you. Thank you for sharing some of your memories of her, I can just picture her from them...I hope it gets easier for you, this is such a hard road you are on, sending you some good energy today Leejaye

Posted by: moon_beam Aug 4 2011, 01:47 PM

Hi, Todd, adding my sincerest sympathies to Leejaye's in the physical loss of your beloved Jenna. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. This grief journey is one adjustment to the physical absence of our beloved companions. The good news is that the love bond we share with them is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Our beloved companion's sweet Living Spirit continues to share our earthly journey and we are forever blessed with our cherished memories in our hearts - - they are always a heartbeat close to us.

Thank you so much, Todd, for sharing your beloved Jenna with us. Please know you are among friends here who truly understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Todd, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,

Posted by: moon_beam Aug 8 2011, 03:24 PM

Hi, Todd, thank you so much for sharing with us these wonderful pictures of your memorial to your beloved Jenna. How very creative you are in this beautiful garden. It is a living tribute to your beautiful girl, a loving tribute from your eternal love for her.

The love that is in your heart is eloquent enough, Todd. This speaks volumes when words are hard to find or just seem so inadquate. Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Jenna with us, Todd.

I hope today is being kind to you, and please do let us know how things are going for you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,

Posted by: leejaye Aug 19 2011, 09:07 PM

Dear Todd, Thanks for these wonderful memories - and another photo of your beautiful girl, she is very lovely...she walks with you still, every day, every minute...sending you some good energy for your wounded soul today Leejaye

Posted by: leejaye Aug 22 2011, 10:35 PM

Dear Todd, Thankyou for sharing some more of your and Jenna's story - your journey together will never be over, your girl is happy and safe in the enormous love you still have for her, now she shines down in that magic moonlight which watched over both of you, I hope the pain in your world is easing a little, sending you some good energy Leejaye

Posted by: leejaye Aug 29 2011, 02:32 AM

Dear Todd, Thankyou for the extract from the book, I really liked the bit about being connected in a way that humans have forgotten - I am so glad you are starting to find peace. Our girls were true gifts in our lives, all that you say about Jenna I understand - the smallest way she moved telling you what she wanted, the smallest way you moved and she knew what you wanted, this is a very special relationship, I'm not sure if everyone gets to be this lucky in their life. I too think my Mischief girl brought out the best in me - all that they gave to us (and still give to us) is still there, in the quietness of our hearts. I am so glad you found some comfort in my words, I really believe they are true, Jenna will never leave you. I hope you smile today my friend, Leejaye

Posted by: moon_beam Aug 29 2011, 04:15 PM

Hi, Todd, just stopping by to get caught up with how you're doing, and wish to add my thanks to leejaye's for sharing extracts from the book you are reading. Leejaye has so eloquently expressed what is in my heart, and hope that you will find comfort in what she has shared with you.

Thank you, Todd, for sharing your beloved Jenna with us. The love bond you share IS eternal, Todd, and is yours forever to treasure.

I hope life is treating you kindly these days, Todd. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,

Posted by: leejaye Sep 10 2011, 07:46 PM

Dear Todd, Your words and feelings for your girl are so beautiful, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing them, sending you some good energy my friend, Leejaye

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Sep 11 2011, 07:33 AM

Dear, dear Todd

Thank you so much more than words can express for sharing your beautiful poetry to Jenna. You have said everything that is in my heart about my beautiful Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived. You are one brave, strong soul to be able to open your heart up and express these precious things. Although most of the time I don't realize it, my heart is shut tight, even after all these months (5). Your words have opened an avenue for saying all those beautiful, deep things I need to say to Gretta. Thank you for the immeasurable gift, my new friend.

Blessings always,

Gretta's mom

Posted by: leejaye Sep 18 2011, 04:21 AM

Dear Todd, Thankyou so very much for your exquisite words to and about your girl, you have such a wonderful ability to see through Jenna's eyes - she is still with you my friend...please let us know how you go with Friede, the kingdom needs a new ruler, I hope you are able to give this gift to a little one who has not known how kind and beautiful a human heart can be...sending you a wish for a moment of peace and some good energy til your heart starts to heal, I have plenty for a friend in need, Leejaye PS Thankyou for the picture of Jenna's window, you two live in a beautiful world.

Posted by: leejaye Oct 3 2011, 06:15 AM

Dear Todd, Thankyou so much for another beautiful tribute to your girl and your life together - with words like this in your heart and your soul Jenna can never truly be apart from you, you cannot touch her but she is there my friend, I'm sending you some good energy today, leejaye

Posted by: leejaye Oct 13 2011, 05:56 AM

Dear Todd, You are making such lovely word pictures of your girl - I hope you have kept a copy of them, maybe you could print them for yourself with Jenna's pictures and make a Jenna tribute book so you always have them close? I hope Friede can come to you soon. I agree with you, no animals are alike, even if they are the same breed. Like people, they are themselves with their own personalities - you can see so much in their eyes, the set of their ears, their stance, and you know how to see, my friend. I know you will find the right ruler for the kingdom when the time is right. Sending you some more good energy today, hope the world has sunshine for you today, Leejaye

Posted by: leejaye Oct 17 2011, 06:12 AM

Dear Todd, Perhaps reading these words again will always bring you pain - this, too, is a part of the love you and Jenna shared. They are very beautiful words and show just how much you and Jenna joined yourselves in heart and soul, looking through each other's eyes... thankyou for sharing them and for the photo of your world...I hope the universe smiles on you today, sending you good energy for as long as you need my friend, Leejaye PS Have you met anyone who might be the New Ruler? Or is the time not quite right - you will know...

Posted by: leejaye Nov 14 2011, 05:46 PM

Dear Todd, Paradise indeed! Thankyou for the beautiful photos and words - they are wonderful and so sincerely what is in your heart...I really hope the days are getting easier my friend, still sending you some good energy and a wish for peace, Leejaye

Posted by: leejaye Nov 21 2011, 03:40 AM

Dear Todd, Wonderful news for the kingdom! And what a wonderful name for the ruler - Friede - Peace - I wish you both much happiness my friend. Jen is smiling on you both, she knows how much love there is in your heart, and is so glad for you to share it with one who has never known love like this, take care my friend, Leejaye

Posted by: Bobbie Jul 24 2012, 11:05 PM

Dear My Doxie and Me (Todd):

THANK YOU from an ever grateful heart for writing for Trevor, what he could not write by himself. "His" words are like salve on a still open wound that may never completely heal. My eyes leaked so much when I read the last line. I felt so much love for Trevor at that moment - like I used to when he would finally sleep and I lay next to him trying to memorize every feature of his (finally) calm face, every soft hair on his head, the rhythm of his breathing and the touch of his paw in my hand. I know I will never get to experience that again and I hurt because I didn't take as much advantage at the time.

Trevor will always be The One. His Love took my heart by storm and then settled in to a private exchange. Only when he died, did the exchange change forever. I miss what I had and want it back again.

YOU, such a good friend of my sister's (Gretta's mom), took the time to listen and hear Trevor, even though you did not know him at all. And yet, you captured in your words, the very essence of my sweet boy. Thank you again and again and again. And if Trevor should ever speak again, please feel free to let me know and I will treasure every letter of every word.

With gratitude,
Bobbie, Trevor's mom

Posted by: Bobbie Jul 26 2012, 09:00 PM


from the bottoms of MY heart!

Trevor's mom

Posted by: Bobbie Jul 27 2012, 09:36 PM

Well, you did it again............

brought some actual peace to my heart for a few minutes while I wait to see when the cancer can be removed from my body.

I hope you know just how much this means to me and Trevor. YOU are an incredible soul.

thank you

Bobbie aka Trevor's mom

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Aug 7 2012, 06:27 AM

My DOxie and Me

Thank you from the very bottom of my heart for continuing to write such beautiful poetry for my sister Bobbie (Trevor's mom). She was so sad and worried about a message but when she saw your beautiful poetry and even more exquisite pictures, her heart was gladdened and greatly comforted. Thank you for casting her a lifeline - it' s really helping as she goes through this agony of her own.

You're a saint, Todd.

Gretta's mom

Posted by: Bobbie Aug 7 2012, 10:23 PM

Dear, dear those Doxies' dad,

thank you

I take in each word, over and over, as strength and support, encouragement and caring

It is like a salve on my terrified soul

And now I CAN go on!

XO Trevor's mom XO

Posted by: Bobbie Aug 10 2012, 09:58 PM

There you go again!!!!!! laugh.gif

THANK YOU from the bottom of my little duckling heart!! happy.gif

Trevor's mom

Posted by: Bobbie Aug 12 2012, 10:05 PM

Such a beautiful tribute to a beautiful dog! The love you have for Jen pours from your heart and shapes words that bring meaning and feelings to life. Life that once was and life that continues now into eternity.

These days, when the sorrow and reality seem to knock us to the ground, are the very ones when we must grab onto our Loved One(s) for dear life. For they understand, as no one else could, what we are and who we are. Only they know how our sorrow and even regret translate into undying love and devotion to those very souls that we more devoted to us!

Please, if you don't mind, keep sharing your love story of Jen, and any others, with those of us here who drink in your words as a comforting sip of nectar.

Again, I get to thank you for yet another amazing poem! I wish I could think of a better word(s) than simply Thank You!, but I don't think there are any. So "Thank YOU!" it will be.

Trevor's mom

Posted by: Bobbie Aug 17 2012, 12:23 PM

Once again, I open Trevor's post and find that my dear, dear friend has given me a great gift!

Thank you for the gift of strength and of song! I love listening to the birds talking and singing outside my kitchen windows early in the morning! I love the sound of cardinals talking back and forth. Even crows have wonderful voices! This afternoon, I will find and play the album I have of canaries singing - it is stunning and so uplifting!

Please give my love to Jen. I know she and Trevor are fast friends and that they compliment each other so well.

Enjoy the warmth of the weekend. I will be enjoying my grandchildren (Olivia 4 and Benjamin 6 months)! Oh! That sounds so sweet to me: grandchildren!

Thank you from the depths of my heart and my soul. You are a guardian angel and I'm glad you found me!

Trevor's mom

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Aug 19 2012, 07:03 AM

Hello My Doxie and Me

One more huge thank you for the poetry you write for Bobbie. It truly is sustaining her soul during this awful wait .... for a wonderful blessing.

Gretta's mom (her sister

Posted by: Bobbie Aug 20 2012, 09:28 AM

Today I am tired and pretty well drained. But I wll ALWAY find time to THANK YOU, my friend, for sending me gift after gift of uplifting and sustaining words that fill in so many of the blanks of my mind. Two birdie pictures made me smile, ear-to-ear. I grew up with red-winged blackbirds and always wondered how that happened? I no longer wonder, I simply marvel at it.

Please forgive me for not having all the words in my mind that are surely in my heart today. You carry them so well for me. How can I ever thank you?

Give my love to Jen - lots of it! I LOVE YOU, JEN! wub.gif (everyone gets a wub)


Now I can go on with my day!

Trevor's mom

Posted by: Bobbie Aug 21 2012, 08:57 PM


Posted by: Bobbie Aug 29 2012, 08:53 PM

My friend,

I don't think I've ever read such loving, honest words to a beloved (animal) friend as you continue to write them. Oh! How I can feel your love for Jen over and over and over. While these love stories/lives play out at a pace we humans don't like, we do have the hope and the faith that we will be together again for all Eternity this time!!!!! There is no way I can wrap my mind around Eternity, but won't it be wonderful spending it with our loves???

Thank you for the healing and comfort your words bring to me, even when the words talk about others, especially Jen. I LOVE reading love letters like yours. Most people would say that the lot of us are crazy or out of our minds and they are correct! We are crazy-in-love and out of our minds waiting for that glorious reunion with our Jens, Trevors, Grettas, Peanuts, Tuckers, Hermys, all of the marvelous creatures that wait, so patiently for us.

Now, I get to thank Jen for bringing you that unconditional love that nurtures us and ever so gradually pushes us to take it for granted......until it is gone


Trevor's mom

Posted by: Bobbie Aug 31 2012, 07:35 PM

How do I find the words, once again, to thank you???

You give me the words, put together in such a way that I receive boundless support, encouragement, empathy, and a promise of loyalty (you did learn that from Jen, of course) that few others I know could say, much less do. Jen's daddy, you have given me a strength to draw from when I cannot find my own. I have (another - actually only 3 total) a place to run to when I need to retreat from the coldness and the uncaring. And it is not a fantasy. It carries no requirements (from me) which you, somehow, know I cannot extend.

I treasure the Knight kneeling. It speaks volumes without saying one word. Because it doesn't have to. He is there. He is there. A frightened soul needs those reassurances, especially when the road she is traveling is totally hidden from her, although she is not blindfolded. And it is light of day.

I don't know who you are, other than Jen's daddy and I do not need to know any more. That is not the point. WE do share a common bond in the passionate love for our creatures and we are both so much better for that. I wish I could have known Jen and that you could have met Trevor - the love of my life. I've had many previous Cocker Spaniels and loved them with everything I had, but Trevor is special and unique. I will only experience that once in this lifetime, but that is all I need. I have threads all over the place on LS, so wherever you see Bobbie, you'll read more about Mr. Trevor, all the way back to early 2011.

Again, my gratitude is deeper than the oceans. Today, Mr. Knight (in shining armor) really did save my life!

I LOVE YOU, JEN! wub.gif
Trevor's Mom

Posted by: Bobbie Sep 1 2012, 10:54 AM

Miss Jen.

You have an amazing, incredible dad, that's for sure! I don't know how he tolerates my "small town" vocabulary and slang. I imagine it's like fingernails on a chalk board. Actually one has to be quite middle aged to member chalk boards instead of WhiteBoards.

Ms. Gretta and her mom have made it to this site now, so we're all getting together. Don't you (and your dad) think it is so much quieter and more peace-filled? Yes, the original site serves a very important healing and grieving function and I never thought I would reach this level of "acceptance" even though I still rail against the idea that my Trevor is physically gone forever. But the pain is not quite as searing - it has become a very familiar and heavy ache, an emptiness that I know will never be filled on earth. I think the greatest, actual transition came when I was able to make and display Trevor's collage because so many pictures hold memories of happy days (please don't ever ask him about the empty yogurt cup on his head!!! it's kind of cute).

Jen, you filled your father's life and soul with a love that a) never dies; cool.gif is irreplaceable; c) has kept him going on in tis world. Only YOU knew how to do that and what was needed to continue that love into the future that you knew was coming and accepted with dignity, courage and grace. We humans aren't good at that, period. So, to you, I say THANK YOU, JEN! I am blessed to call you (Trevor's) friend! (do you mind?)

Have a beautiful Saturday! Me? I'm sleeping in allllllllllllllllllllll day!

I LOVE YOU, JEN! wub.gif
Trevor's mom

Posted by: Bobbie Sep 5 2012, 01:45 PM

Dear, Dear Doxie Friend!!!

Once again, your words and pictures have touched my soul! I am in a drought of confidence and am stagnating. I MUST get moving because my life depends on it! Could I ask Jen for some help rays? She sounds like a powerful lover and giver. I would be ever so grateful.

Do not ever worry about crossing any "lines". Lines are artificially made by those who cannot or will not learn about their own boundaries. You and Jen have become Trevor's and my friend and we both treasure the gifts of that friendship. Don't worry, our friend, OK?

I'm needing a lot of Love Rays from Trevor today. My body is physically manifesting the anxiety and fear that I have about meeting the oncologist tomorrow. At least I know where all of this is coming from.

I wish for you two a day of peace, joy, and love filled with butterflies and (I like) dragonflies!

Trevor's Mom

Posted by: Bobbie Sep 9 2012, 11:04 PM

Hello Dear Jen and her daddy!

Want to stop by and remind you that you both are in my thoughts and prayers each and every day!

PEACE be with you!

Trevor's Mom

Posted by: Bobbie Sep 10 2012, 11:15 PM

Just wanted you to know.....

I am alone with my thoughts and my fears having been judged as too emotional and jumping to conclusions that most likely won't happen. So I will keep them to myself while I try and make it through the night until daylight, once again, appears. Perhaps, then I will not feel quite as hurt or misunderstood.

Silly me, I thought this cancer journey was mine and that people around me were there for support and understanding and listening and more listening. But I guess I am wrong, totally wrong. I am to follow another's path, one taken by someone with a different cancer and a different outcome. I must listen to them for they have all the wisdom of experience. I must be told what to do and what not to do because it is obvious that I cannot come to my conclusions as they did. I must, I must, I must.

That is why I come to you and this site. For here our voices are heard for who and what they are. We are not told what to do, how to grieve, what to question, when to speak and when to shut up. I must find those people (some I already have.....) who will listen, support, understand my fear, my struggle, my sorrow and my joy. And I must find them quickly. How?

Please speak the words you know to comfort me, soothe the searing fear in my heart, the sorrow in my soul, the empty arms that can no longer hold my Trevor................................

Posted by: Jake'sGrandpa Sep 11 2012, 08:25 AM

Todd and Bobbie, I am touched by your love for Jenna and Trevor, and can feel your pain as I struggle to come to terms with the loss of our beloved English bulldog, Jake, two months ago this Friday. I wish you both the very best and hope that, in time, the sharpness of the pain is replaced by the warmth of the memories.

Posted by: Bobbie Sep 17 2012, 10:26 PM

Hello Jenna's Daddy!

Again and again, you fill my heart and soul with the words I cannot reach, and I am more than blessed by you!

Yes, the chemo did a number on me, but not right away. Kind of like creshendoing (sp) thunder that gets louder and louder until your teeth begin to chatter uncontrollably! I kept thinking of Trevor and how he suffered in SILENCE (not me, that's for sure) and I have even MORE respect for every one of God's creatures that suffere AT ALL from ANYTHING! They are the heroes, not us humans.

Please, don't feel pressured to share your incredible words with me. That is selfish on my part. But I must say that the pictures you send, ALWAYS make me smile and then study them in awe! Your words are magnificent. You know me as a soul mate and a fellow Spirit Dog(s) parent. How could we be luckier? I was once told that Trevor was also a White Buffalo and now a butterfly comes by very often to say Hello! to me from Trevor and, many times, his friends, too.

If I may be extremely long has Jenna been physically apart from you? I picture her as the most loyal of all your/the Doxies - filled with love and devotion for her daddy, as well as a spunk that only "smaller" doggies can have! She IS beautiful! (I rarely, if ever, use past tense when talking or writing about any of God's creatures. You know why.) If I begin to sound trite I truly do not mean to -please blame it on chemo-brain (really!). If you love Jenna (and any others) half as much as I love Trevor, then every space in the universe is filled with yours and her love for each other. (Come on, Hubble, catch these Love Rays!) I don't know if you have read my hundreds of posts littered all over this site, but I have my favorite picture of Trevor in every room of my house and one taped to the dashboard of my car. I used to worry about all the time Trevor must have spent lonely, scared and confused. And I pledged that he would never feel that way again - ever! He's even in my wallet! (I don't have pics of my grandkids in my wallet.) The pictures help a lot, as does the framed wallet-sized picture I wrap in a piece of Trevor's second favorite blanket and tuck next to my heart, every night when I go to sleep. Oh yes, it will be 14 months, this Saturday, that we had to physically part and something of Trevor goes with me everywhere.

Grief and the journey it takes us on is unique for every person and every one of their animals. I can, in no way, diminish your sorrow. I DO pledge and promise to always support you, understand you, listen to you, share with you and anything else that can pour even the tiniest of soothing oil to your wound. And don't be surprised, or feel unworthy or any of that malarky (you forgot I was Irish?????) because you have done the same and more for me.

I must go to bed now - a bit of the nausea has resurfaced. Bless you, bless you, bless you, Jenna's daddy!

With gratitude,
Trevor's mommy

Posted by: Bobbie Sep 23 2012, 07:37 AM

To my tall and protecting Fir Tree:

Thank you, again, for listening to Trevor as he tells you about his momy's sorrow, lack of confidence and confusion.

With total gratitude I read, reread and continue to read about the Willow Tree, one of the most beautiful, graceful trees on this earth. I am a Willow Tree - you described me perfectly (again).

Thank you for showing me the truth and the way to find my new station in life.

I only hope, that in some small ways, I may return to you all the hope, confidence, and eventually joy that you have shown to me.

With the deepest of gratitude, I humbly give thanks to you, your Jenna and your words!


Posted by: Bobbie Sep 24 2012, 11:43 AM

Dear Jenna and Daddy!

My wish for you today: a PEACE-FILLED day with warm and happy memories for both of you!

With love,
Trevor's mom

Posted by: Bobbie Sep 26 2012, 09:39 AM

Good Morning Jenna's Dad,

I hope today is treating you with love and respect!

I wanted to let you know one thing about one of your posts to Trevor and me. The date is September 15th and, originally, there was a stunning black and white picture of an American Cocker Spaniel that looked exactly like Trevor and Rudy and Birney and Crocker! It brought tears to my eyes and I simply LOVED IT!!!!

A couple days ago I looked on that post again and the picture had changed!!! Now there is a B&W picture of some kind of Spaniel, but it certainly doesn't look like any of my boys. Do you know how this could have happened? I stilll do not know how to properly post pictures, so am completely in the dark. Is it possible to get the original picture back on? I loved it so much and would like to make a print of it.

I don't mean to be nosey or certainly NOT complaining, rather I wanted you to know what was going on.

Thanks so much, my good friend(s)!!!!

PS: I found the lock of Trevor's hair that had gone missing for months yesterday! Happy days! XOXOxoxo

Posted by: Bobbie Sep 30 2012, 10:09 PM

Good Evening, my friend!

Your words touch the essence of my heart and soul, as I read them and remember Trevor (Rudy, Jasper, Birney, Kelly, Crocker, Spot & Squirt). Each animal, one of God's unique creations grabs onto our hearts and souls from the very first minute.....never to let ago again. We, as the frail human, do not see this coming at first, so we are as free as our companions in sharing the sunshine, cool breeze, falling snowflakes, etc. Then, one day our humanness takes over and we DO see into the future. WE see our greatest fears and, try as we might, attempt to put them off as long as possible.

However, my dear friend, the "price" of this unconditional love that flows in both directions, ultimately becomes our most painful debt. But it is a debt we MUST pay. Is it ever easy? NO Does it ever go away? NO Do we wish we could hold onto what we had for just that while longer? OH YES! But, for some reason, the Almighty Creator, saw fit that man would be the one to carry this buden, to love and cherish every moment with our friends. I do not know why and that will be question #1 when "I get there".

I am so sorry that you continue to feel such excrutiating pain and sorrow. Jenna was extraordinarily special - that I can tell. The one thing I ask of you, is to let even a tiny sliver of time into your grief. Time is a mysterious and amazing thing. It moves ever so slowly when we want it to hurry up, and yet, when we look back, "so much" time has passed! Please do not think that, in any way, I want to "hurry you along" with your grieving. You sorrow is your own and no one else's. I have been a bit fortunate in that those gnarley (sp) branches on the tree of life, have, ever so slowly begun to change - from tough, rough, unbending arms twisting every which way to hold me as tightly as possible to the Tree I'll call "Sorrow Tree". Somehow, in the past couple months (and this is well after one full year of being without Trevor physically) a few of those braches have softened. They are not as rigid, rough or biding as they were for so, so long. They are slowly turning into the branches we see in the Spring. Ever so slightly softer and pliable so that I am able to breathe, which I could not do before. I still have a long, long journey ahead of me, but, honestly, thoughts of Trevor are much more comforting now. I have come to accept that I did everything humanly possible to make Trevor's last 2 years on this earth, the best he'd ever had. And I think Trevor is the one sending these messages to my heart and soul. Who else would know what to say or do? So while my heart remains shredded and my soul crushed to the ground - a tiny ray is shining my direction with some hope, peace, resolution and such a contented LOVE for Trevor, that I have not felt before.

It comes, my friend, but ONLY WHEN YOU ARE READY. Who decides that? Not you, not me, not our friends......but Jenna and her gift of healing time. She holds it for you, ready at a moment's notice to sprinkle some onto your heart and soul. Jenna knows how much you need, each and every time and she gathers your tears, sobs and misgivings into her eternal, all powerful heart so that her dad doesn't have to hold onto it all. See, she is in the Perfect Place now, where she still feels so badly FOR you, but the joy surrounding her now is indescribable and she can hardly wait for you to meet her so you can share the rest of eternity with her!

Please, be kind to yourself. Give yourself an enormous amount of credit for continuing to survive each day and grace so many lives with your words and pictures. Take even just 5 minutes per day to ask Jenna to pat you on the back for all the wonderful times you had together and those you plan in the future world. I would like to know what she has for you! Right now, Trevor just tells me that he wants to snuggle under his blanket with me again. Won't that be nice?

It is time to go to sleep now and dream of my wonderful boys and all their "new" friends. I say a prayer for you, also. And I wish you peace for tonight!


Posted by: Bobbie Oct 1 2012, 09:23 AM

Oh my friend, my dear friend!

I hope that nothing I said has caused you more pain. I never want that to happen, as you are going through enough right now.

As with you, I say what is in my heart/soul and whatever Trevor adds. Isn't it amazing the conversations we can hold without speaking a single word or at least no more than 3? "I love you"? Our companions are amazing!!!

Thank you for being such a good and gentle friend. Your words are like salve and yet I feel so badly for you as you travel your Journey alone, as only one can do (even if they are married!). Let us walk our journies as we need to and help each other along the way - just as Jenna and Trevor did for us whe they walked this Earth. Now they walk in Heaven which is so GOOD for them!

Thank you for your amazing gift of the word. I read and re-read and then print what you say so I have it any time I need or want it.

Have a beauty-filled day, sunshine or clouds, all part of MOTHER Nature. (ever wonder what happened to FATHER Nature?? laugh.gif

With love, (squeek, squeek goes the chalk)
XOAuntie BobbieXO


Posted by: Bobbie Oct 15 2012, 08:54 PM

I thank you beyond measure, my dear friend!

I am very tired tonight, but have read every word, so eloquent and so real.

Tomorrow, more words will come to me and I want to share them all with you and Jenna!

With love,
Trevor and Bobbie

Posted by: Bobbie Oct 27 2012, 08:48 PM

Thank you and may God bless you, My Doxie and Me! (my eyes are leaking a lot)

Trevor's mom

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Oct 31 2012, 07:46 AM

My Doxie

This is to thank you - in simple prose, I'm afraid, for your beautiful poetry that has strengthened both Bobbie and me during this terrible time. Jenna, oh Jenna, breathe a little of yoru spirit on your daddie today and let him know that even though his friends' hearts are shattered they still love him as you do.

Gretta and Rufie's mom

Posted by: Bobbie Nov 2 2012, 08:09 PM

YOU are a wonder to behold!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Bobbie Nov 10 2012, 09:30 PM

Do not try to break away, my dear friend! For so much effort goes into trying to escape the "usual" ways that it saps all the energy from one's body, mind and spirit. Instead, try, just try that's all I'm saying, to LIVE through the awful silence. Experience it as many times as "it" tries to dominate your life and one day you will be the master, able to command this silence to depart for good. You will have saved up power and strength and fortitude to do exactly what you want to do right now, but have no power to do it because you are fighting it the way it wants to fight. Instead, turn the tables and know that we are here for you during these awful moments of seemingly doing nothing. But you ARE doing something. You are changing the rules to YOUR rules, ever so quietly and stealthfully. "It" will not notice and thing it has "won". And it will do victory dances on your mind and heart. Live through that (I have to count out loud to ge4t through my worst silent times and my worst physically painful times.) time, reassuring yourself that we are here to support you all the way!

Time after time after time after time this nasty silence will play with your mind, heart and soul, seemingly at will. But unbeknownst (sp) to it, YOU are in control. Did you know that? Yes, you can slowly and carefully control the time you give to this beast, shortening it by as much or as little as you'd like, each time beasty comes around. This, ever so surely, transfers the control and power away from that awful silence to YOU and whatever YOU chose to do with it. If you want to use it as a "good" silence (and you really know how to do that) or for anything else, you can because YOU are in control now and YOU have the power.

It's very frightening to start doing this because one feels completely powerless, but remember, YOU ARE NOT! You always have some power and control, even if it's just a smidge. That's all it takes to get started. Don't expect yourself to be the conquerer the first 100 times this happens. And if you DO win in less than 100 times, GREAT!!!!!!!!!

Show Jenna that daddy has the power to chose his silent times and what happens during them. SHE will help you immensely, as will all her friends in the Perfect World, and by now she has a ton of them! Trevor is right near the front, only Gretta is bigger so she is closer. The entire pack will know when you need them, even when you don't. You will, however, know this after things settle down an that's fine.

No, Jenna's daddy, defeat this enemy with a passive approach that it knows nothing about. That works in so many areas of life that you probably have plenty of experience and just don't realize it. Trevor just recently helped me figure out my silence power as my hephew lay dying - it was overwhelming. And my nephew and I were at least 30 miles apart during most of this! But I KNOW it worked for Mark and I KNOW it will work for you. Just remember, Trevor has never, ever been wrong on anything! OK?

Please know that Trevor and I are here for you 24/7, even if we don't get back to you right away. PM's and posts are more than welcome for all of this actually really helps ME, too. So there is a selfish component in here, too. (true confessions!!!!!)

I wish you peace, love and joy this evening and all day tomorrow on what is supposed to be a gorgeous day! Thank you for being my friend. It is a treasure and a blessing!

Bobbie, Trevor's mom

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Nov 25 2012, 08:17 AM

Hello Jenna's dad

I've asked Trevor to round up a cousin-chorus for Bobbie today. This is an invitation for Jenna (who is surely our cousin) to join. They're going to sing verses of the old spiritual "Everything is Gonna be Alright" (in doggie) nice an loud and keep on singing until Bobbie feels it in her heart. Jenna-girl, could you do this for someone who loves your dad and whom he loves too? I know you will. Thank you Jenna-Mop!

Gretta's mom

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Nov 29 2012, 07:23 AM

Another beautiful poem about the beginning of winter and the wisps of memory we wish we could hold in our hands as we hold them in our hearts. Thank you so much, My Doxie. All the best to you.

Gretta's mom

Posted by: Bobbie Dec 13 2012, 10:33 PM

Dear Jenna's daddy,

Your words bring life to so many memories. They are a precious gift you give your best friend and she so loves them!

The dancing in your thoughts and dreams is beautiful - so graceful and loving, holding onto each other and then drifting apart, only to come together again. This time forever.

Pawprints in the snow speak volumes about the love and honor and tenderness you feel for your friend and companion. She leaves you a message that only you understand and then, POOF, it's gone and another will appear. I wish we had snow like that here. I used to live where it snowed like that and my first dog's prints were everywhere, mixed with mine as we played in the snow. See how the memories always come back when you need them? They never really leave you, just get filed in the brain file system.

And how you describe your best friend is almost beyond words as you melt the images, one into another! Though the paw prints may fade, as they do every Spring, they'll be back whenever you want them or need them. Jenna knows you better than you know yourself! what a treat!

Be well, my friend, and thank you from the depths of my heart for your devotion to "man's best friend".

Bobbie (Trevor's mom)

Posted by: Bobbie Dec 14 2012, 07:39 PM

Oh, Jenna's daddy,

Thank you for so many compliments and kind, elegant words for me! As with you, I am inspired and open myself only to the closest of friends and comrads - those who will understand even if just a few words are written/spoken. So there you go, we share and we help each other and we think of each other the rest of the time. What a blessing for me! And the pictures, every one of them brought a smile to my face. To be that little girl again, but maybe not in Catholic school at the time. (yikes)

Today I took my dad to the cemetery and took down all the fall decorations and put up the Christmas ones. Someone had gone through the cemetery with a leaf blower or two so most everything of ours was blown all over the place. I still cannot find Trevor's rosary. No mind, I have others for him. This year I went simpler than others. I put up woden crosses that you pound into the groud which were decorated with little poinsettias and a red ribbon. Simple, yet powerful. Then each grave stone got a Christmas "decoration" statue that, hopefully will outlast the cold weather this time. I am thankful that I have been granted this holiday/holy day time to avoid any treatment. This way I can be with my boys when I want to. And I DO want to. Oh, and I decorated the bench that the cemetery director moved for me so many months ago, as I leaned into a large tree, crying next to their graves. So I would have a place to sit and stay with my boys. Enough about me.

Jenna's dad, your pain and grief are going to ebb and flow each and every day, still. And as long as you can stand up by yourself, walk, talk eat and breathe, that's still all you have to do and it means you ARE surviving. That's what Jenna wants and sends your way - the means to slowly pick yourself up and move forward (NOT move on) to peace and all the good memories. You can share them with your new little (?) love. THAT, too, makes Jenna very happy. Remember, like I told Grandpa, Jenna's Spirit is right next to your heart and feels your deep love and affection with every beat - every beat. Keep sharing your thoughts and feelings with those whom you trust and, slowly, ever so slowly, you will rise from the depths without even realizing it for awhile. Oh, you will still drop back into "the hole" now and again. I do and I go right back to the original feelings and sorrow. But, somehow, it's not quite as long as the first, second, third time, just a teeny bit shorter and comfort comes a bit more naturally and literally from Trevor. That's me. Not you. However you recover from this devastation, you will do it well and perfectly for Jenna and for you.

Just an example: My sister, Jeanne, calls me every night for the past 17 years. One night she wanted to ask me about my current Cocker Spaniel, Mr. Trevor himself. Instead she asked: "And how is Rudy?". So I replied, "Dead. Still dead." and we both laughed ourselves silly at being so stupid and yet, at the same time, glad that I could make a joke about my dear, departed best friend, Rudy. I'm not there yet with Trevor, but look forward to the day that I can laugh and smile about Trevor, too. Right now it's still too sacred to enter that space. But I know it will come. For me and for you.

So, peace be with you, also, on this very special December 14th. Peace.

Bobbie (Trevor's mom)

Posted by: Bobbie Jan 10 2013, 10:51 AM

Hi Jenna's Daddy!

Stopping by to say I love you and hope you are doing well. This is what I can write on the blackboard now: "got my appointments with all my surgeons for next week!!!!! That means surgery cannot be far off. It's about time!"

Big statement from a little girl. Not sure what the nuns would think, but don't care either!

Hang in there, my dear, dear friend! You are always on my mind. (remember Willie Nelson?)

Bobbie & Trevor

Posted by: Bobbie Jan 11 2013, 10:55 PM

Dear Jenna's daddy,

OMG! Is that a picture of Jenna? She is gorgeous, no, beyond gorgeous into the catagory of ravishing and oh! so much fun! And if it isn't, then it ought to be because that is the picture you paint of your "Little Love Bug".

You say such kind and wonderful things about and to me. I am hardly worth all that. I think I have always been a certain type of people person, but am picky with that, too. Just now I am slowly finding out that the people in my (small) high school class admired me at the time! And I thought they all saw me as wierd, stuck up, one of those smarty-pants types. I didn't have many friends in HS because the main activity was going out and drinking beer. BORING! But, somehow, I never gave up on all people. I added doggies to my life - and even that took moving 1500 miles away to accomplish! But I did it! And I buried my first East Coast boy (Crocker Spaniel) just over 25 years ago in December. I will always remember Crocker and all the days we loved each other. Along with all my other boys (notice any partiality?? smile.gif )

It has only really come to the forefront in my 59th year on this earth that the only thing that matters is LOVE. (adding in a bit of religion) I read that all Jesus had was love and look at what He accomplished! So I figure, if God Almighty can BE love alone, I'd best do my darndest to do the same! I also think life experiences and others around you's response/reaction play a huge part in the ability to continue loving despite pain, sorrow, disappointment, loneliness and the occasional happiness we get!

And you know how to make me happy. Your words, at times cryptic, always thrill and honor me, as I feel you actually trust me. Now, THAT is a huge compliment for me from you! You see, I am gullible like crazy: I believe what people tell me until they are proven to be falsehoods. But I don't feel anyting false here. All I do is talk about me, me, me. The time will come soon, when I will need your loving, listening heart with my upcoming struggle. But, for now, let it be all about YOU!

I wish I could take every ounce of your pain and turn it into pure joy. But I cannot even do that for myself. Each pinch of heart & soul pain makes us that much stronger (even tho we don't feel like it) and that much more loving to the other creatures. For that is how we truly HONOR our dear departed loved ones. I honor Trevor's life by loving Kelley, even though very few, VERY FEW others even like him. I see into his eyes - that's how we talk - and know that he wants to be good, but has no guidance other than my occasional feeble attempts. And it's going to get worse before it gets better. But I WILL love him and Dreamer always. There I go again: mememememe.

Jenna's daddy, you are a man of great love, very special words and the ability to put the two together perfectly. Please know that I DO understand your pain and grief. How staggering it can be. But, also, how honoring of Jenna and encouraging for the rest of us. You ARE doing well, in this horrid grief journey. And don't ever forget, Trevor and I are always here for you - always.

Good night, my friend and Trevor's friend in Heaven! Sleep well................................

Trevor's mom, Bobbie

Posted by: Jake'sGrandpa Apr 8 2013, 07:16 AM

Happy birthday, Jenna! And my very best to you, Todd. I know that you miss her a great deal, especially today. But take heart, my friend, one day we will all meet and play together at the Rainbow Bridge.


Posted by: Jake'sGrandpa Apr 14 2013, 04:43 PM

Yes, I do understand your loss, Todd. I know that you and Jenna were very close, as I was with Jake. He passed away 9 months ago today, and I am still shrouded in a pervasive sense of sadness. The more you love someone or something, the more it hurts to lose them. Will we ever be OK again?

Posted by: Jake'sGrandpa Apr 22 2013, 08:23 AM

You need no forgiveness, My Doxie and Me. You gave Jenna many years of love and the best care possible. Maybe the dry food made a difference, maybe (most probably) it didn't. Maybe the nitrates and preservatives in the cold cuts that I gave Jake caused or contributed to his cancer, and maybe they didn't, but I still feel guilty about it. Second guessing everything seems to be part of the grieving process. I do know that I loved Jake dearly and did everything humanly possible to keep him here, as you did for Jenna. There is nothing that we would not have done for them. Hold your head high, my friend.

Posted by: Gretta's Mom May 13 2013, 05:39 AM

Hello Jenna's Dad
This is Gretta and Rufus's mom. A short word about Bobbie - she's out of the hospital. Surgery went well and she passed a whole-body PET scan about 3 weeks ago. Diabetes continues to cause problems. Every couple of days I e-mail a small group of her in-person and e-friends about her condition. If you'd like I'd be more than happy to add you to this list. I know you were very close and your write the MOST beautiful poems.

Seeveral months after Gretta went home, I adopted Rufus, a big, beautiful half lab, half Newfie. I almost didn't because he was too "young". on 7 years old, and I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to care for him once I was on a fixed income. But his eyes, his beautiful eyes looked out from his aroption picture and said, "Please. let it me be." We had only 21 short months together. In March, while I was on the east coast helping Bobbie, he was found to have spleen cancer, which is particularly deadly and inoperable. It had spread to his heart. Like Gretta, his symptoms only appeared the day before his homegoing. But my heart will never get over my baby Rufus going home all alone, nobody to hold his giant head, nobody to stroke his velvet ears, nobody to tell him what a truly GOOD dog he is, nobody to tell him how much he is loved. I know he, as Trevor and Doxie and many, many others are in the Perfect World where there is only health, youth, happiness and love and where they wait to meet us at the gate when we arrive, never to be separated again. But, my friend, as you know, the sword in the heart will remain until that time.

Enough sadness. Today is Rufus's birthday ( I count his adoption day as his birthday). I'm having a little party for him here on earth - just one earthly friend and her big Golden. But there is going to be a big party up in the perfect World and I want to extend a special invitation to Jenna.

Dear Jenna

Have you met a big, black, almost-lab yet? He's kind of a newbie but he's been there long enough to find his sister, Gretta, and many of our LS friends. Today is his birthday and there is going to be a party today where you guys live now. We want you to be a guest of honor, Jenna. Can you make it? (Gretta will come looking for you and try to coax you into wandering over if she doesn't see you wink.gif Rufus would love to honor you at the party. Gather up all your Perfect World relatives and friends and gallop on over when you hear the fun starting. Perfect World cake and ice cream never run short and never make anybody sick! We love you, Jenna, and we love your dad very much, too. Hope you can make it!

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Posted by: Gretta's Mom May 20 2013, 06:14 AM

Oh Gretta

My Doxie and written a beautiful poem for us. I hope he doesn't go away like he said one time he would. He asked for a day in your life and we are going to give him one - your best day. Should we give him the day we met and you laid your head on my lap and pawed my leg as if to ask, "Please take me home."? Or should we give him the day we had our pledge talk and gave our hearts to each other for real? Or should we give him one of the days we jogged down a mile on the median of Summit Avenue, running in the sun like two goofy oldsters? Or should we give him a day when you so patiently wore you pink sweater and boots and sox and trudged through the winter snow?

I've got an idea: Let's give him ALL those days, OK?

I knew you'd say yes. You are thie kindest chocolate lab who ever lived.

Posted by: Jake'sGrandpa Jun 10 2013, 07:38 AM

That is beautiful, Todd. Thank you for posting it.

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Jun 13 2013, 08:22 PM

Oh Todd

How can i ever thank you for another beautiful poem for Gretta and Rufus and me and the extraordinary picture of the White Buffalo. I am going to put it on my laptop as a screen image.

Your words are so perfect, so ethereal, like a soft breath on my soul.

Thank youu for being my friend.

Jeanne (Gretta and Rufus's mom)

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Jul 22 2013, 07:06 PM

My Doxie and Me

what touching poetry. All about goodbye. A goodbye that I have said twice and must soon say again. the hardest goodbye of all.

Thank you to a poet who can look right into our hearts and say what is there.

Tears are falling for all the days that will not be, at least for a while. One will live in one plane and on in another. No one has ever been there and come back to tell the truth about that other plane.

we believe because if we didn't we would all shrivel up like fall leaves and blow away - no hope to anchor us. No hope to push us through another day and another and another .... until the days run out and we need to send our favorite to the soul-mates waiting on that believed-in plane.

Thank you My Doxie and Me for being our friend and for opening your heart and writing words that open the shades of our hearts and allow the tears to come out.

That is true love.

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Posted by: Bobbie Aug 15 2013, 07:45 PM

Hello Jenna's Daddy!

I just finished reading your posts that I missed since the end of January. I MISSED YOU AND JENNA TREMENDOUSLY! I thought of you so many times and of your precious, precious Jenna, wondering how you were doing. It seems as if you are going in two directions at the same time. Rather, one direction and one same direction. You told Jenna about Fostering Doxies and that is the most wondrous of gifts that you can give to Jenna and all the little Doxies under your care! You are doing something that I couldn't, for I have a LaSov-saying, "Once in my house, always in my house." And you so continue to ask for forgiveness from your Doxies where there is guilt felt by you. Remember, Todd, that hindsight is 20/20. If we knew then what we now know....... You gave Jenna the most unconditional love possible and she knew that every day of her joyous life with you. But we are human, not dogs, so we carry burdensome guilt like a sackcloth. IF Jenna had anything to forgive you of it would be your total love and dedication to a most grateful doggie. That's not bad.

I still miss Trevor every single day. I taped his picture onto the dash of our car so I can see him every day and scratch his little nose. His second year Angelversary is coming upon us, or has it already passed when I was in the hospital. Not one day is easier than the next except that Father Time has begun to soothe my heart and soul. I have been able to visit Trevor and his brothers' mortal graves twice since I have been home, having Stan and Jeanne take down the Christmas decorations I'd put up and leaving freshly laundered Beanie Baby doggies with Trevor. We also put out flags and whirlygigs at each grave. I plan to go back very soon.

I am still very weak and deconditioned from the multiple and prolonged hospitalizations. I am back on chemotherapy, though. My boys, Dreamer and Kelley (yes, I have two more Cocker Spaniel mixes from the same rescue group) keep me company every day, sleeping with us at night and going for walks with Jeanne in the morning.

God bless you, Jenna's daddy! YOU are very special to me and always will be. I remain that little girls with the blackboard and chalk...............


Posted by: Jake'sGrandpa Aug 20 2013, 06:44 PM

Todd, you touch my heart. I dearly hope to meet you and Jenna and all our lightning-strike friends at the bridge one day. Bless you, my friend.

Posted by: Bobbie Sep 2 2013, 02:30 PM

Remembering a friend...........................who has labored long and sadly
Coming to grips with the loss of his love. wub.gif

With greatest admiration and respect,

Posted by: Bobbie Nov 10 2013, 03:26 PM

Dearest Jenna and Friede's Dad,

God please bless you with all the glory He has...........for you have brightened my day with your words!! You, my dear friend, have the gift of weaving words into magic of thought, joy, imagination, peace and LOVE. And I am forever grateful that you share them with me....a simple Catholic grade school graduate.

Aren't Butterflies simply amazing????? They can be of great and magnificent color, schemes and designs OR as simple as the white little ones that grace my vision all the time (until the weather turns too cold and they, too, migrate to warmer seasons)!!!!! AND, they are everywhere, but one has to know what one is looking for in order to truly see them. I have seen them on greeting cards, stationery, even bathroom wallpaper. Every time they greet me I just smile in delight and say, "Hi Trevor! How are you doing, buddy? Mommy says Thank You for stopping by to greet me. I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!"

Such a delicate creature carrying such a profound message from those that we wish we could still physically touch, love and cuddle! We have our Spirits that mingle together and do these things for us But it isn't quite the same................Nothing like the feel of Jenna or Trevor or Jake or Mickey or Gretta or Rufus or Trevor's brothers. One day we will experience this touch again, in magnificent, glorious forms that we cannot even imagine. THAT is what I look forward to.

And dear Friede! How are you, my darling??? I must get to know all about you, as your daddy knows about Dreamer and Kelley. You bring such joy to your daddy and, just like your predecessor, joy and love. In the midst of our memories, we are blessed to find additional joy and love. What have we done to deserve this? It's quite simple........................loved God's creatures! Accepted them for who they are and tried to learn unconditional love from them, who already know how to do that!

What a great day it is! To again hear from an enlightened and poetic friend, who simply touches my soul with every word!! WELCOME BACK!!!

XO Bobbie XO

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Nov 27 2013, 08:23 AM

OH My Doxie and me

Again many thanks for the beautiful poem for Gretta and the INCREDIBLE picture. Where do you find all these amazing picture? Every one has just taken me breath away.

When life is hell, the memories and spirits of spectacular dogs are always at my feet to remind me that like they were, I am on my way to the Perfect World. And like them, even the earthly hell can't last but so long ... because they all get together and have a prayer hum for me and the load lifts for a while and just the hint of a smile comes through, It's a smile to you, Jenna's dad.

Your are in the top group of wonderful people I am thankful for on this day before the day dedicated to giving thanks - and NOT eating our friends.

May heaven pour out many blessing on you, my friend.

Gretta and Rufs's mom

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Dec 3 2013, 07:36 AM

Hey Peanut

There's gonna be a BIG party tonight at Rufus and Gretta's house!

7PM EST (listen for the noise if you don't know what this means)

Gather up all your friends and head on over and PARTY AS LOUD AS YOU CAN!

The party is for Trevor's mom. She had a very good report from her doctor yesterday!

Party your hearts out .... and then go to the Big Man, bow your heads and thank Him for doing that for Trevor's mom!

And just for tonight - no danger of tummy-achhes for overeating!


Gretta and Rufus's mom

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Jul 3 2014, 05:14 AM

Oh My Doxie

Thank you SO much for the beautiful poem you wrote for mt Gretta. You alone know the depths of anguish in my heart now that the mother of my love for dogs,my precious sister Bobbie has left all her suffering behind and gone to the Perfect World to join her precious dogs, and all of the precious dogs and other animals she met both in the flesh and here on Lightning Strike. Your poetry and pictures go straight to the heart adn turn on the faucet of tears, tears for Bobbie, tears for Gretta and Rufus, tears for Jenna, tears for you, tears for everyone whose beloved has gone back to the Perfect World before them and left them holding the sadness that comes from making the most loving and courageous decision they have ever had to make - to take on all of the sorrow and loneliness it takes to set their precious loved one free of their physical suffering. Somehow I think that our babies are sad to leave us, too. But an instant later, they appear in the Perfect World where their hearts and minds and memories are instantly transformed into pure happiness - about every event in their loves and mostly about the people they loved most. They see with new eyes and new hearts - they know things as they are, as they were intended to be, as they were in the beginning = when the lion and lamb lay down together and when all species could talk in a common language.

My Doxie, I can never thank you enough for the beauty and immense caring you have given to both Bobbie and me. Your soul is already halfway into the Perfect World. Thank you for sharing it to console us that somebody DOES understand and to give us a foretaste of when the Perfect World will be like when we all get there.

Jenna, your dad is SO close to you - he is a singular person who lives in two worlds so he can speak words that go straight to our hearts and even though we dissolve in tears when we read them, we are strengthened by knowing that he truly can see ahead of us and send incredible love to use through is immensely beautiful words and pictures. No wonder you chose him to be your dad.

One step at a time into eternity - and a little duckling shall lead them.

Thank you so much, Doxie's dad. This is exactly the day your words and picture were most needed.

Gretta and Rufus's mom (and now Dreamer and Kelly's aunt)

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Jul 15 2014, 06:35 AM

Dear Jenna's Dad

Thank you for being with Bobbie and me throughout these long years of bliss and agony. Just reading over your posts from beginning to end is a treasure. it takes me on a voyage through those years when some of our dogs and our beautiful Bobbie were still with us on this side of heaven. How short is the time that changes everything! Someday, on a faraway shore we know not where, there is a Perfect World where we shall all be reunited - in our best and most perfect forms - speaking the same language - forever and ever.

You are a vital link to those years. Please do not ever take these posts down. They are treasures without measure.

Who knew that the old people had it right when they sang about this world being but a vale of tears? And that there was a brighter world ahead. How did their words get forgotten?

Thank you from the bottom of my broken heart.

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Aug 10 2014, 05:41 PM

Dear Jenna's dad

Thank you for the beautiful response to my posting about my father's death. You have such a gift, a gift to see directly into the heart, and then express in your beautiful poetry. Of course the poem about the girl asking her daddy to help her and guide her brought on a vale of tears.

How amazing that you remember the Holmes Brothers!! Now I am going to look up and listen to their song from which their line that "it is all on shade of gray" comes.

The old people sing a song - and they knew of which they sang - that started "When we all get to Heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be." And it is true. I thought it would be marvelous when I just understood it in terms of precious spirit animals, but it became crystal clear to me when my father went to heaven. It was liked he'd decamped and moved the family headquarters - sort of like Father Abraham in the bible.

Jenna's dad, thank you for the gift of your friendship, the gift of your poetry, the gift of your caring.

The universe sings for you.

Jeanne (Gretta and Rufus's mom)

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Aug 25 2014, 05:19 AM

Good morning Todd

I just wanted to stop by and see how things were going for you. I'm not strong enough in my heart to write a lot on LS, so I do a rotation of one person or animal in my "I-love-them" circle every day. I want to thank you for the beautiful poetry you have written for Bobbie and me over the years. it is beautiful. It is precious. It goes straight to the deepest place in my heart. Thank you for being such a talented and understanding person and such a faithful friend.

Gretta and Rufus's mom (Jeanne)

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Aug 31 2014, 06:02 AM

Oh Todd,

What a precious new friend. You can just see it in her face in the first picture - please, PLEASE take me home. You are an angel for giving her a new life filled with fun, warmth, health, a doxie sibling - and most of all LOVE. I know another soul-mate has found you. I can tell by the way she melts into your lap. PLEASE tell me in your next message that your home has another doxie in it!!!!

How do you do it? You can read right into BObbie's and now my heart. Yes, we were so alike in heart, mind, and even body that one time someone took us for twins. And that horrible ferocious wolf with those sharp, hungry teeth ready to consume me in one bite. That's EXACTLY how I feel. But with the doxie brigade and the lab brigade and the cocker spaniel brigade and one great big sheepdog, too, and all their soul-mates forming a giant protective circle around me, maybe we can soften that wolf's heart and let him know that he, too, is loved and that he doesn't have to threaten people and scare them. Love will melt his heart, too, I just know it.

Thank you for keeping on being my friend, Todd. We, too, are soul-mates.

Jeanne (Rufus and Gretta's mom)

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Oct 11 2014, 08:36 AM

Dear Todd

When your soul mate dog has found you and you two have lived a life of complete love, that breed of dog always has a special hold on your heart.

I want to say this to you loudly and clearly: YOU HAVE MOST DEFINITELY NOT MISSED THE MARK OF FRIENDSHIP! Your poetry has been a mighty

healing on my wounded soul so many times. And you are still doing it. That is the mark of TRUE FRIENDSHIP. When you find yourself alone, especially

when your eyes are dripping tears and your heart is downcast, it only means that you are among a tiny special few on this earth who understand about

spirit-animals and soul mates AND have experienced that life-changing love. The first doxie that you were going to adopt does have some kind of spiritual

connection to you. Maybe she was your spirit-animal in a previous life and came to tell you in person that he was OK. Maybe this incarnation is a practice

run for the incarnation in which he will be your true soul mate. Or maybe, just maybe, he is the reincarnation of a departed soul-mate, again come to see

you in person because he saw your downcast spirit and wanted to hold you just to tell you that someday you two would be reunited forever.

Rocky, Rocky-Pocky, Rock-and-Roll - he has found you. Your family has grown and all of your hearts have enlarged to make room for another soul.

And that is the mark of true love.

Your poetry and pictures have cured my soul uncountable times. You have a gift - the gift of finding EXACTLY the right word and EXACTLY the right picture not only to

express yourself but also to go straight to the center of my heart and bring a shining star.

Thank you without measure for the gift of your friendship - we, too, are soul mates.

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Oct 13 2014, 06:33 AM

My Doxie and Me.

Once again you poetry has gone straight to the inside of my heart.
It thanks you for remembering Bobbie and Gretta and Rufus. Only those that truly loved these beings,
whether from near or far away, will remember them.
Only those who heart they touched will remember them.
Buried deep in my heart, right along with them
Is a little brown dog, a long-ish dog with short-ish legs
Legs moving like a dervish to keep up with her loved one.
Who is now able to keep up with everyone ... in the Perfect World.
Now the man and the dog have a hole in their hearts
That can only be filled by a brother or a sister
One who is also long and brown and, most of all, loving.
He or she is on the way. This special dog is looking for his one and only perfect family.
You will meet. You will meet.

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Oct 21 2014, 08:37 AM

Good morning my dear friend, My Doxie

How can I thank you enough for your exquisite poetry in response to my two posts. Again I say, your word go directly to the very center of my heart and even though I am the saddest I have ever been, they somehow comfort my heart. They are like tiny beads of precious water on my thirsty soul. You remember Gretta with exactly what I have just written about in a post. You remember Rufus, my Big Black Dog.

And you are the one who has Bobbie and Trevor in your heart more than anyone else on earth except maybe me.

Todd, you are a miracle. You are a blessing straight from God to Bobbie and me. Life is SO sweet for just an instant and then it turns bitter. We look for our precious one who have gone to their true home and the pain almost kills us. Precious, beautiful messages like yours tell me there is at least one person on this earth who understands what this all means. Every time I see a post from you, I know it will be breathtaking.

Now, with my very engineer-like words, I will ask you .... Has your spirit dog found you? Has he or she arrived at your house or is he or she still on the way? There is a doxie who is carrying the empty piece of your heart and he is ON THE WAY. It's a promise.

Thank you for being my earthly soulmate.

Jeanne (Gretta and Rufus's mom)

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Oct 26 2014, 06:26 AM

Dear My Doxie

How can you know and say the inner part of my heart? A tear is falling down my cheek for all the sadness in both our hearts. May today be the day that the precious puppy that Free is sending you finally finds you and you find him or her and both of your hearts cry tears of relief and love.

Everybody is gone now - Bobbie, my dad, Gretta, Rufus, my friends, my home, the paths I used to walk down with Gretta and then with Rufus. Here I am in a new city I thought I would love because the sister I love was here and my work life was over and we could be together. And then cancer took her away and a cyclone of grief fled me into a world I don't know. Beautiful ancient red brick structures all around that I once loved before I found out how fleeting life is and how barren it is without one dog and one person to love.

In a few days I'll make my fourth rent payment on this red brick apartment house that has never become a home - just a place with things in it that I recognize are mine and a lot that came from Stan's house - extra things that he didn't need. I feel like an extra person that nobody needs. Only eight more payments until I can move to a place where I can have a dog of my own. My Doxie, you and I are people whose hearts shrivel and dry when there is no spirit dog around to give us life. Let us make a pledge to over the ears of our hearts and listen to the tiny message on the wind that signals the existence of our soul mates in search of us.

Maybe they are walking paw-in-paw together as they approach nearer and nearer to us - and they are yet too far away on the path to us for us to be able to hear them. But they are there. And they started out on their journey because they heard our hearts crying and knew it was time to leave their homes to search for us. THEY and the ones who make a home for us, not we for them. Thank you Great Spirit for creating a species to complete our own.

And thank you so much, Doxie, for making donations in Bobbie's name to good places that rescue dogs and help creatures without a home survive until they find one. Maybe one of them is looking for one of us right now.

Jeanne (Gretta and Rufus's mom)

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Oct 28 2014, 11:34 AM

Oh My Doxie

How you remember and speak the words I would say if they would come to me Your words have soothed my heart so many times. You are right. Not everybody is gone. You are not gone and you are my soul/s best doctor. You understand how the tears of life must fall because the garden of your life has been watered by them and some beautiful flowers have grown there.

When you told me about the pit puppy who was available for adoption I immediately felt that s/he was your searcher. Of course I know the entire breed of doxies has adopted you as a member and a relative. In fact, I think I heard Rufus saying something about a white pit bull friend of his having a grandfather named Todd and a GREAT bull dog having a grandfather named Gabe. Rufus's grandfather is with him now. His grandfather loved him so much. He marvelled at how Rufus could sit up so straight for so long in a sphynx pose just like the lions who guarded the Egyptian pyramids.

I made a mistake and listened to other people who thought they could give me "advice" on how to live. They were all telling me that I needed to get out of Bobbie's house and into my own place. I moved too fast and signed a lease that forbade ANY animals. And I live 38 stairs above ground level. Any dog of any age would have trouble with the stairs. So this is my "House of learning." Grown-ups have to go to school, too. The Good Shepherd is getting my heart ready for a beautiful animal to love. I am in boarding school now, just like I was in grades 9 and 10 (and, with 11 others got expelled for "contaminating the school" with free thinking). I'll graduate in 8 months and along about month 5 or 6 I'll start looking for a new neighborhood and a new house - one that welcomes animals.

Thank you, Doxie, for soothing my heart with your beautiful poems and even more with the PICTURES! Please keep me up on which dog is trying to find his or her way to your heart.

A fellow traveller

Rufus and Gretta's

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Nov 3 2014, 08:14 AM

Oh My Doxie,

Another beautiful poetic and visual outpouring. I have to caution you about fostering. Before you do it, look into your heart and into the heart of your soulmate and ask yourself whether either or both of you can withstand the heartache of separation when a foster dog gets adopted. Many fosters are so-called "foster failures" because they end up adopting the animal they are fostering. Of course this is said in irony because everyone involved knows that what really happened is triumph of love.

It does break our hearts that we can't save all the animal who need us. If we were a rich as the guy whose tourist space plane just crashed, we could scoop them all up and buy a state - like Kentucky - and every one of them would have loving homes. But I can't and you can't. So don't let your heart swim in regret at the ones you have to leave behind. Know in your heart that the one you choose is the one you are meant to have.

The best post I can imagine from you is one telling me that you have a new doxie to love.

Gretta and Rufus bark encouraging words into your ears.


Posted by: Gretta's Mom Nov 11 2014, 07:14 AM

Good morning, My Doxie

I tried to send you a post yesterday but the spirits weren't with me and the message kept erasing itself. So I'm hoping today it will get through.

RUN, don't WALK, to the adoption center and take home the beautiful Pittie you've sent pictures of or another dog who catches your heart.

You have completely changed my mind about fostering. It IS a blessing to both a dog and yourself to give a caged dog a good, loving life right that day. no matter how long it lasts. Then, if you need to send him or her on to another loving forever home, you will have saved him from the days he would otherwise have spent in the miserable cage in the shelter. And if you find he or she is meant for you, one who is sent from the universe, then you two have found each other and can live together in your home - which IS his forever home.

You have such a loving heart, How could I have said something that would have made you hold back and be cautious. You have taught me that love is NOT timid or cautious - it is wise.

Please forgive me and let the word come to me soon that you have taken your next dog-meant-for-you into your home and your heart.

Gretta and Rufus's mom, Jeanne

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Jan 4 2015, 07:01 AM

Dear Todd,

Thank you for another incredible poem. You have travelled a huge and painful circle and have come back to where it started: your heart is healed through the love of the people and dogs who love you and now you are joyous enough to again give of your beautiful heart to not one but two beautiful doxies. And you know that this was the work of Jenna on your broken heart and the love of your true friends human and canine.

It is only the end of your endless suffering. It is the beginning of your life of joy and happiness and love.

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Posted by: Jon730 Jan 17 2015, 07:52 AM

I do not think I have ever seen a more beautiful thread on here.

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Jan 17 2015, 04:41 PM

Jon 730 - I totally agree. My Doxie and Me writes the most beautiful poetry and finds the most exquisite pictures to go with it. He has helped me through the loss of two dogs and a younger sister, my best friend and most loved person on earth.

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Jan 17 2015, 05:04 PM

My Doxie,

Another beautiful poem and wonderful pictures. It is SO good to read in your poems that strength and hope and faith have returned to your life. The picture of Misty and Free is precious. Two identical doxies, lying side by side, one with his head on the other's back. And the message to Jen asking her to look at you now ..... and then the picture of the old man holding a doxie. That picture just SINGS hope!

Thank you for finding such gorgeous pictures of labs - black and chocolate. Thank you for sticking with me through this season of losses. Something happened last week that gave me a signal to get up out of the slough of despond and get moving, get living my life. A precious man, Mr Willie "Popsy" Dixon died unexpectedly. JeHe was the drummer for the Holmes Brothers (Geez do I wish I knew how to insert pictures from Google image - just go there and search for "Popsy Dixon".) The Holmes Brothers have been together since the late nineties and a couple of years ago they won a National Endowment for the Arts Heritage Award for being a national treasure of the history of American music. That was sad enough.

They were/are scheduled to do a concert in Baltimore next Friday and of course I have tickets. Sherman and Wendell Holmes have decided to go ahead with the concert with a substitute drummer. I thought if they have the strength to do this, I need to have the strength to stop whining and hiding and get up and start my new life.

Whenever they played in Minneapolis, my BFF (a Black athlete of times gone by) and I would crash the Green Room and have a good time talking to them about NYC, gospel and just stuff. I'm going to try to do this next Friday and I am going to do it confidently so the arties who are running the concert don't get in my way. I want to give each one of them a big hug and tell them how amazingly strong they are and how much they have meant in my life.

And you, too. What a difference you have made in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Gretta and Rufus's mom (and Misty and Free's aunt)

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Jul 2 2015, 05:29 PM

Oh My Doxie and Me

This is the most beautiful poem and picture I have ever seen. As you know, both of my beloved labs, Gretta and Rufus, and in the Perfect World. And you know that last year I lost my father and my best=loved sister Bobbie. Ten days ago a very good friend of mine, the world's best musician, Wendell Holmes, went on to the Perfect World too. Right now I am trying my best to give Bobbie's two beautiful cocker spaniels, Dreamer (a piebald black and white who is the most loving, gentle and cuddly dog alive = I cannot tell you how many of my tears he has picked away) and Kelly (black with a white blaze - who came with a terrible case of fear-biting - and who has completely changed over the past 18 months into a jokester, the ruler of the house). Both of them are rescues of course. The best we can tell, Dreamer is about 5 years old and Kelly is somewhere in the neighborhood of 10-11. Bobbie's husband Stan and I are doing our very best tp give them perfect doggie lives. But no matter how much we try of do, we will NEVER be able to even come CLOSE to all the love they have shown us. I don't know how we would have made it through Bobbie's passing without them.

Gretta and Rufus's Mom

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Jul 14 2015, 10:51 AM

Thank you, thank you, thank you, My Doxie, for always seeing. writing and picturing exactly what is in my heart.

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Jul 31 2015, 05:02 AM

Good morning, Todd (My Doxie and Me)\\

Thank you for coming into and staying in my life.

Thank you for loving Bobbie so much.

Thank you for your loving heart that opened first to Jenna and then to all dogs, especially dachshunds.

Thank you for the beautiful poems and pictures that you have sent me over the years.

Thank you for now opening your heart in a way that only a few very special people can do - fostering dogs. Loving them completely and then having to give them up to a new, loving home.

You are an amazing person, Mr Todd.

I thank GOD and DOG for you.

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Aug 16 2015, 05:41 AM

Good morning, Todd

It/s been a week! Last Tuesday morning and young man, overcome by the burden he was carrying in his heart and soul, climbed up to the roof of the rowhouse he lived in, just across the street and down a couple of houses from me, and jumped to his death on the sidewalk below. It was shocking and sad that such a young person was carrying around such a burden that he took his own life in order to escape. That's part of the big city - people don't know who lives around them, even those in the same building. Even me. I know the man who lives on the second floor but I have lived here for over a year and I have never ever seen the woman who lives on the first floor. I taped a bouquet of flowers to a street sign to honor his life and talked to his roommate, who had tried to stop him but couldn't. Imagine that young man having to carry the image around with him for the rest of his life.

Then Friday morning, when I was driving to Stan's house to take care of the dogs, I was involved in a 3-car crash on the busiest freeway in town. I was the car in the middle (of course). The cars ahead of me were slowing down fast to avoid a large piece of metal debris in the road. The car in front of me had come to a complete stop and I had as well, about a half car length behind it. Then a car came from behind me who couldn't stop and hit me going about 25-30 miles an hour! That pushed my car forward about a car length, into the car ahead of me, which pushed it forward about 8-9 car lengths.

MIRACULOUSLY, when we all got out of our cars, there wasn't a mark on any of them! Not even a scratch on anyone's bumper! I was sure the back end of my car (like the last one) was crushed from the back, but there was nothing!! I don't know how this could have happened (well, yes I do) but I just thank the Lord for keeping me and my car whole.

So today I am going to my Black baptist church for some old fashioned singing and preaching and then to Stan's house to take care of the dogs today and tomorrow. You KNOW that it's really the dogs who are going to take care of me and my heart.

How are you doing with your doxie fostering? You are a much stronger and braver a person than I am. I know I could never take care of a dog without loving him or her and then have to give him or her up to someone else. I'd be in the legion of foster "failures". Mt hat is WAY off to you and your caring, loving heart. You are a blessing on the lives of so many doxies - and people. Thank you for being my friend.


Posted by: Gretta's Mom Aug 19 2015, 06:49 AM

Oh, My friend, Todd

Sometimes I am flown away by your poetry and the pictures you find to illustrate my heart.

This time there is a tiny bit of confusion - I know you are talking about the young man here who took his own life. But there seems to my linear mind a tiny thread of saying that you have recently lost a friend, too, perhaps a doxie. How I hope this is not true, you who have opened your heart so much that you now volunteer to have it broken over and over by fostering - exchanging hearts with a beautiful doxie and then having to send him or her to a "permanent" home.
I hope today your heart is intact as we sing for the friend I knew only as "The Jumper" but who had a complete life- a life that had become so lonely and painful and angry that, being only twenty some years on earth and at a time when he had not yet had the years of life that give you your real education.

One good thing is that I see someone had put another bouquet of flowers atop mine. Maybe we'll start a fad here - a good one that says that every life must be respected and honored (except those tho prove themselves depraved without measure - and then we transfer that respect and honor to their parents and the good person even the evilest of us were, even if just for a day.

The stars and the sky and the sun and the moon help me thank you for a treasured friend in my life and in the life of beautiful Bobbie.

Jeanne (aka Gretta and Rufus's mom)

P.S. Still look for a picture of Rufus.

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Nov 27 2015, 07:17 AM

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving my friend and all the Doxies and other animals you have loved.

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Apr 2 2018, 06:59 PM

If I COULD TALK...By Shawn Welling AXI

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Apr 7 2018, 09:49 PM

VICKY Short Film..

Manu Antony Rex as Vicky You Tube..

Posted by: My Doxie and Me May 20 2018, 05:48 PM

Short Film by Shawn Welling AXI
If i could bark...

Paradise Lost! ~ A very sad real story about a best friend and his Human...

Posted by: My Doxie and Me May 30 2018, 05:40 PM

The best part of LS is one single caring soul takes the time to sit with you and hold your hand
as I found shelter in the most darkest hour....

Why death is just an illusion-thought provoking
As this is a solo journey to find a friend to ask for;....
And then 1 person stands out as others follow you receive a beautiful Note...

Aug 28 2011, 11:32 PM
In the quietness of are hearts....

Who is it that's aware that iam thinking....

I found my way as others that past we speak in behalf of a beautiful friend....To put these feelings and loss into words;...
If one speaks in comfort and understanding...Just know how much thought and heart break go's into....

The best part of are friends is sharing so others can see the beauty that life has graced us with;.....

Don't speak for yourself...
Speak as if your best friend...
Is speaking to you...

The first step in your journey to find a beautiful friend
That has so much to say as they lick the tears for a forever friend
In Faith they will connect to share a moment as we will be enlightened
When we share are life with a friend as they lay thy head onto are heart It's forever...

It's are reflection that last a life time...

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Jun 8 2018, 06:05 PM

I still search for you every day and my vision....

my friend I still suffer from your loss as I have checked all the balance of life then and now...Why tears still fall
what have I missed...

I shall forever call your name
I shall ever act with kindness
I shall ever kneel as I help my friends...
I shall never be the same as you lay your head upon my;.....

<Whispers >
My friend what keeps me here<<<<<<<<<

A special moment that only we share>>>>>>>>

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Jun 9 2018, 04:50 PM

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Jul 11 2018, 07:53 PM

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Jul 21 2018, 03:18 PM

Sun Sets 2019...

Still Following my Dachshunds;...

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Aug 1 2018, 07:58 PM

My journey as of this day...
I have found answers to many questions...
Asking Forgiveness...
I have seen the light...
As I have caused this separation...
My love for you and the care I gave to;....Breaks me as I see
my flaws;.....Forgive me....

Tony Anderson-The King

I miss laying in the tall grass summer winds dance over us....
I miss the shaded leaf that cast shadows upon us...
I miss seeing you dance in the window of life...
I miss waking as you sit upon my chest...
I miss your sleepy eyes as you lay your head upon my heart....
I miss following you as we walk thru are path of life's Leash in hand;....

My journey is with one Dachshund that changed my life and the lives of others...
As my Doxie care is at an elite level that I never thought possible how one beautiful
Friend could change who I would become;....

I will ever search
I will ever care
I will ever walk
In your shaded paw prints as when I close my eyes I can still see you;...

My friend in this life lesson I have uncovered all my faults as I believe iam doing justice
in your behalf yet in reality I have caused you harm regardless of the outcome I stand alone...
Asking for Forgiveness as are paths are woven into a single moment as I see a reflection of Me;....

The one that stole a piece of who Iam as I have become mimicking a shadow outside are window I can see;....
Iam Just a boy standing alone with no direction as I wonder hopelessly searching for his best friend…..

I will ever kiss this moment as we share the same space at one single point in time as it takes me years
to decipher what are heart already knows;...

To be owned by a Dachshund is a true life experience as we lay are head....We see true Friendship....

I have walked every Paw print in your passing;... and continue to search for better care...

My life lesson being owned by a Doxie….

I grant this taking as I give a piece of my heart to you as;...
One day I will find
and we will be apart
of this Universe...I..M..U..

Keeping my promise is tearing me apart....

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Aug 10 2018, 08:42 PM

Tony Anderson-All is Not Lost...

I find myself in and out of consciousness...
Standing infront of a moment within my grasp..
My empty hands weep thru a friendship;...
that has great meaning as I was unable....

Beautiful friendship
learning each step
has torn a piece
of my own flesh
I give to you
My friend
as I have faith
you will return to me;....
All is Not Lost...

True Friendship last far beyond are life time its how we Honor and follow a friends path to understand what a beautiful
life that has been granted as we dance in the summer nights and weep in the morning rain;....


2019 is just beyond the horizon.....

I;am running as fast as I can....

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Aug 30 2018, 02:05 AM

Adding life long ink to your body as a never ending story whispers;...

Neil deGrasse <Quote>
There's nothing I'am so sure about
that I want to put it indelible on my skin...No..No..No..
Let me say it differently...
There's nothing I value
In my mind body and soul
So much in this moment
That I want to indelible etch on my skin
Because I want to leave room
for me to have a possibly
More enlightening Thought Later...

I will always search with patience...
Waiting for my best friend...

This is the meaning of LS as i'am a guest at a viewing a life long story as many people gather as we all watch the
same screen;...Of a special friend who made this platform possible to reconnect with are friends;….Priceless;...
A friend chasing a friend in a forever Dream....

An impossibly more enlightening thought....

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Sep 1 2018, 09:39 PM


Posted by: My Doxie and Me Sep 13 2018, 07:29 PM

My Friend are time is coming to an end;...I must let you know how much you have changed the lives of my new...Friede & Elsa..

These tasks you have given me are of a high difficulty and yet I some how Rise above as you rest in my arms I hold a shadow that some how
touches my heart;...

Are time spent as we walk the same path was a beautiful journey as I truly understand the meaning of friendship....I still weep that day
I left you;....Forgive me as I kneel and hold my tears in silence as I paint shadows of you;...As we walk in this life I have a higher learning
for you and caring for others as I touch the ground and close my eyes I can feel your vibrations within me....

How can I still be in the same place as where we started...Looking for a friends forgiveness as I have done no wrong as this one haunts
me or have I not truly understood my friend as she speaks in silent moments as my tears that fall are louder then thunder from the sky
which I fall from;....

My Beautiful friend when you closed your eyes; a piece was given as I know now you have and will always
hold a silent part as I walk through common ground only sharing my true thoughts on LS as this is a place
we can reconnect and dance in the morning light;...

The Mountains I have moved ;Seemed impossible until I truly looked deep inside my self;...

Understanding a best friend after life;...Is like climbing mountains in the rain....
Every moment of pain is an opportunity as we hunt shadows asking for forgiveness
As dreams kiss are troubled mind offering peace We speak for a friend'...
as eye;s closed viewing a film for all to see.....

Tony Anderson - The Impossible - Earning are Wings....

The Best is yet to come
As Iam
My Best friend
As we find one another
As we are all together
We see the same Picture
Us running free in a painting of are own imagination;...

Its where we can play as we kiss a best friend as are hearts beat in sync we can still travel
in the same place in the same time as we dance with shadow we feel are own vibrations as...
We become a better Human;.... As now we can truly care for a new best friend;...

We will always Talk with one another and I will continue to find greatness in are passing....

My light I give to you so when the time comes I can....I.M.U.

To my special friend Jenna a Dachshund that changed my life for the very best my friend I have helped
so many in your passing so I might gain forgiveness as I paint pictures of you in my endless tears....

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Oct 18 2018, 08:04 PM

I have Found my last Paw Print....

What a last Paw print Feels like;...
In my many years of grief holding my breath underwater...
Fighting my decision and second guessing my thoughts...
I play in my own tears for many years....
As I can feel the Hulk within me as I deny him...
This friend is to much apart of my heart.....

I must find my fault for how could I move forward as I run my blind
hands across the sands of time;...

My friend I.M.U.

Each grain of sand that falls from my hand I.M.U..
Each day I search yet can not find you I.M.U..
Each night I break as i watch outside my window I.M.U..
Each moment of are life runs thru my broken hands trying to ask for I.M.U..

A Dachshund will hold you accountable...
As the some of all parts
Is not a single breed
Yet the energy off all
As I still run with my pitty;..
Dance with my dachshund;..
Yet the same ending is Me;.....

What a last paw print feels like...
It's like reading Braille on the Heart
We can only feal without touch;...

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Dec 5 2018, 09:37 PM

<Mix-Ether-Last Light>

Waiting beneath a living Tree
Asking Forgiveness as I
Touch Statue upon Thee Head
Leaking from my pain.....
Sitting Beside the Living
Breathing in loss beside Me...
My True Friends....

I have let my friends as of yesterday slip through my hands
That being said I have a Higher Ground I stand on
Friendship is to great to dismiss...

As I kneel
Living Tree
As true
Wings Touch
I;am Free....

My Friend Release me I have my 10,000 Hrs
what more do you ask of me;.....Please Forgive Me;....

I can not fly without your blessing.....
Everyday you cross my mind as I stand...
In the Mirror and I can hardly recognize...
As your loss has taken a toll
As I look Through myself
I find happiness in your eyes;....
I miss;..You..My Dear Friend...

What have you done to me;.....

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Jan 12 2019, 07:49 PM

The wind will carry us into tomorrow...
A Friend will lead us into yesterday...
A Heart Broken will always fühlen pain...
A Whisper as we kneel...
Looking Back I can...
In Black and White...
Breeze takes me...
Piece by piece...
Ivan Torrent - Before I Leave This World (Beautiful Orchestral)

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Jan 13 2019, 05:31 PM

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Feb 12 2019, 06:52 PM

I hear your voice on the wind....
And I hear you call out my name....

"Listen my child," you say to me
"I am the voice of your history
Be not afraid, come follow me
Answer my call and I'll set you free"

I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain
I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice that always is calling you
I am the voice, I will remain.....

I am the voice in the fields when the summer's gone
The dance of the leaves when the autumn winds blow
Ne'er do I sleep throughout all the cold winter long
I am the force that in springtime will grow....



I am the voice of the past that will always be
Filled with my sorrow and blood in my fields...
I am the voice of the future
Bring me your peace
Bring me your peace
And my wounds they will Heal...

I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain
I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice that always is calling you
I am the voice....

I am the voice of the past that will always be
I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice of the future
I am the voice....

I am the voice
I am the voice
I am the voice


Posted by: My Doxie and Me Feb 24 2019, 05:17 PM

My freund this will be are last post...
I truly understand my fehler...
As I walk this path to you Allein…
Den ich vermisse dich...

Gib mir Flügel, damit ich mit dir fliegen kann, mein wahrer Freund...

Immer auf der Suche nach dir, mein Freund...

Eine Geschichte von einem Dackel und ihrem besten Freund...
Endlose Tränen für dich, mein Freund;.....
Du wirst für immer auf meine Träume gehen, mein dachshund Freund;….

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Mar 19 2019, 05:07 PM

Forgive me old friend as we have lost another...
I lost a dear friend of mine today...Due to IVDD;...

My beautiful Elsa Girl;....

I have been struck far to soon as I can not heal;.....

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Mar 19 2019, 05:16 PM

Best Friends Forever we will hold you in are Hearts
for a lifetime;...I promise....

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Mar 19 2019, 05:28 PM

Elsa just out of the puppy mill farm...

7 months in my care Major break thru as we share a friendship moment...

Sun Set is so close.....

I can't keep running;...

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Mar 20 2019, 06:35 PM

To Understand and truly see thru a friends eyes as we are new as we begin a friendship I must
first call your name;....I first notice a Hunters Crest on her neck that moves like an arrow to the very top
of her head...Why I ask and I know;...

In short haired Dachshunds this is rear a true sign...If your lucky you will see one in a lifetime;...I was so lucky;...
This name I choose for a forever friend that to this day teaches me....
In German the meaning of the name Elsa is: From the Old German athal meaning 'noble'.
As I gave her a kingdom as she sings in the morning light;...

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Apr 1 2019, 07:42 PM

As I have time to think and trace Paw Prints as I move each blade of grass;...
In the End I see what is a Rescue with a friends Passing;...

What I have learned to rescue is; We only have them for the time that allows;...
Yet we plan for a lifetime...

My Dear Friend iam broken as I call your name..

In Honor I shall not let your passing be in silent words as I have Educated myself in Dachshund
Rescue care and the gift I received I shall not and will help others in need...

Mr. Murphy I will travel 320 miles to beg for his forever home;4/6/19

Wish me luck My knowledge of Dachshunds is truly because of my best friends;..

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Apr 1 2019, 08:06 PM

If by chance your reading this I Warn you...

Never be owned by a Dachshund they will take every part of you;..

And make you Human;...

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Apr 4 2019, 08:16 PM

Thank you my Dear friend for the possibility of my thoughts and life long friendship
to be seen by all as you are always in my tears as I have found everyone of my faults
as I feel your release as the leash of life falls to the ground...

Always in my heart I preach to all that I can find with a higher understanding as I hold shadows in the night
as tears fade....They spill over to others;...What have you done to me;.....

Mr. Murphy iam 2 days out and iam still learning What is Happy Tail syndrome...

As I stock pile gifts for this event that will last a life time as My special friend has;....All wounds are Healed and I truly understand
My role in life as I hold my heart in hand wishing for a peaceful night....

<The Best Part of Lighting Strikes is they allow me to travel with friends that have passed and are Present>

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Apr 6 2019, 07:09 PM

Mr. Murphy's meeting...what can I take with me as what a beautiful rescue
Thank you Gayla and Pam I wish I could have taken a pic of the front door I will
Not speak of due to the injustice of my small vocabulary;) so I will make a return visit;...
And post a pic if time allows...Taking a positive experience as Mr. Murphy can not come home...

Mr. Murphy this breaks my heart.....Story time...

320 miles I cant wait to take Mr. Murphy home<Fast Forward;>

I arrive beautiful small ranch I notice all the signs and statues out front
as they welcome Human's ;... Awesome I;am in the right place as I ring the door bell
I;am greeted by Mr. Murphy and a Brindle Pug black with gold Hue Beautiful...

I;am smiling cant believe that Mr. Murphy has not been taken;.....As Gayla welcomes us as she holds
two dogs we walk into the kitchen as I see 10 to 12 running in and out of the house as a beautiful sun bed
is positioned in the window...I;am in Heaven;.... Every part of this dream is Perfect;....

Talking with Gayla the founder of this rescue;....As iam speaking I notice Mr. Murphy<This Hurts>
His Right leg swings out when he walks;....Thankfully we have the LS as I;am chocking back tears as this
journey was for Mr. Murphy at this point what can I do...

Gayla of the Rescue a truly Beautiful Human and Pam a foster mom <I'dont have words;>…..
As iam telling story's of feeding care dedication and Friendship as I have a Doxie heart as this is a burden
yet the sun that shine on me as I close my eye;s is undeniable I truly have a greater understanding just because I care...

As are conversation continues Mr. Murphy is always in my view as my speech becomes Broken as I fight back tear;s…
I notice Mr.Murphys right leg swing outward;....I'am not a weak Man yet this almost took me to my knee's As I asked;...
This story is far to long and my eyes are pooled with reflection so.....

My adoption is postponed as I donate to Mr. Murphy;s Medical if faith allows it is a fracture leg not set...Praying it is not Hip dis;....I still have a chance;....1%
My travel is not a negative My Elsa Passing as she was in the best care possible...When we rescue it is not a guarantee that we have the Honor of
holding them for a true lifetime;...My Beautiful Elsa 3years as the teachings are a life long gift;....I Promise;...

This one fought every step of the way and I earned my cross as it felt like battle and in the end I understood how to care for My Elsa;..
as she lay her head on my Heart as I could feel her Last Breath as I knew she was free;...3/19/19 7;42am.....

Donations made to Mr. Murphy many waiting on the Doctor to evaluate his condition as I made a journey missing my Elsa Girl;...
I have helped others Mr. Murphy received $340.00 For a specialist a soft Faux fur bed by best friends by Sheri<Made of Dachshund Dreams>
as Mr. Murphy has a 12pac of Caru stew and Daily dish so my loss I have just turned into a positive as I help other;s because
I love my best friends so much;...This is my Fuel waiting on Mr. Murphy atm...

The Effect of loss on the living.... I cant even begin as I try to help my Friede as...The signs Of passing the missing part of the pac are;...
I believe she is much more intune then myself as I do see the signs truly amazing how we are connected for a lifetime... It's
Not one event rather a life long event that keeps us focused to truly understand...I think i'am 8 years...and in finding and extending
myself has made me a better human in return I believe I have found;...

<The pic of Friede and Elsa>
All toys are put in a bin;) one toy has a barking sound I took this picture as Elsa brought all the toys
and put them on the bed as I hear her toy bark;..She always gathered her toys everything in the house was her;s…
Until I can truly Convince myself that I have made a difference for the loss of my Elsa I will carry this umbrella waiting;...

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Apr 8 2019, 08:23 PM

It was really wonderful meeting you Sat. I apologize for the delay. We had puppies born yesterday and a few other emergencies to deal with today.

As sad as it was that you were not able to take Murphy with you, I’m a firm believer that people come into our lives for a reason and today was meant be. Pam and I, and our other volunteers are always eager to learn more about the dogs we care for andit was truly a learning experience today. We have a call in for an appointment for Murphy. Both for his leg and his skin. Just to make sure it’s allergies. We so appreciate the information and all the wonderful gifts for Mr. Murphy. He is loving the foodand we will send it with him if he finds an adopter soon. Depending on the vet visit outcome.

We would love to have you foster even though you live a distance from us. We will figure that out when we get the call for the next Doxie in need.

You have truly become a gift to our rescue.

Thank you again.

Gayla & Pam

This is a email I will share as sometimes in a broken state we forget how much we have to offer
we must have faith as we follow are best friend they take us down a path that we would never....

Thank you my friend the short road we walked I will make a life long memory as I reach out
and have already helped a Doxie in need as I have one Paw print on my sleeve;) without
you I would have sit idle....Are friendship has great meaning and all things as we will help as
many as we can;..

Thank you my little Nashorn when I close my eyes I can see you again...

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Apr 10 2019, 07:11 PM

Personal records to keep my mind in check as if iam keeping a friend from a forever home what's Best...

Mr. Murphy's X-Ray No fracture all looks good Hips ect… So possible Tendon issue as I have distance because
of the loss with fresh wounds;....Sometimes when tears fill are vision as we strain to look forward as we look
waiting for a perfect painting on the wall as we forget what a rescue truly is;....

My Friede 2 days after adoption this one is very special and is the only after loss I look forward in life as I can truly
see how much I care as each friend rescue;...We always create a need to save another so we think...As the next has
such a impact in are lives as we just thought of doing a good dead...This one pushed me to find now I;am scrambling
as I wish not to cause fault...

As I second guess my own care I might Have loss within a beautiful Forever friend..Need to keep myself in check as I sometimes get
lost in my own thought;s… I cant have this;.... making arrangement's to travel;...7hrs;)….Without pain I have no feeling;
<Dachshunds Wish<<>> you will be tested>
so the journey begins again...This time I will take pics and I have the most Beautiful memory... with name I will share
as I can now sit beside myself and truly show the beauty of caring for another...I love this rescue as I feel at home...

Adoption is a life long Commitment and I have to think am I taking away a beautiful life from another as these guys have so much to
teach as I have to take time and think can I;....

I was so truly content as I smile everyday so much joy I found myself just being happy I worked so hard to understand
all my time as I truly care;...As I hear a whisper and she is gone like the wind;....I will keep a open heart to love again
and help another to learn who I really am and how far will I go to save a memory of a best friend as iam learning
more about myself then I have ever;...

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Apr 11 2019, 08:11 PM

Mr. Murphy is coming home 4/20/19 I have been allowed to foster with the option to adopt
as he will see Dr. Christakos for a full examination and a Friede meeting to make
sure she is accepting of her new friend...

Mr. Murphy condition
1.Happy Tail
2.Possible ligament issue <When I search all I find is IVDD;>
3.Seasonal allergies full large patch of missing hair on back...
4.Playtime wound as his neck was bitten or caught on structure...

So many red flags and I cant stop thinking about Mr.Murphy;...

I'am Broken in a good way;...

Update 4/12/19
Mr. Murphy is scheduled to see Dr.Christakos on 4/27/19 pics will be added.
Also Autumn Green Animal Hospital Geneva appointment pending as they
have a specialist for Acupuncture and deep tissue message as I will also be purchasing
top quality Full Spectrum CBD oil these guys are full Holistic got to have both ;.)

I have so much more to say on having a beautiful life stolen as I stand at the top of the hill
a hard fought battle I saved a life as I was granted 3yrs of beautiful mornings cooking
White Oaks 21 day Aged Steaks Filet Ribeye New York on a infrared Grill Farm fresh eggs
When Elsa; would be so happy she would stand on her rear short very muscular legs and
all you could hear;...Was her tail dusting the floor...Truly miss her she has taught me
the true meaning of a rescue...

IVDD in Dachshunds is like Venom days to say...If your lucky the crate rest will help along with steroids Laser therapy
as I look back to see the progression of this disease I never had a chance yet I never intended to give my heart;...And I....

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Apr 13 2019, 06:00 PM

I truly can not wait to take my Mr. Murphy home as this guy will be showered in gifts
as I have White Oak Steaks 21 day aged on order Turkey jerky and Pig ears along with
Ideal Buffalo-Buffalo Heart Jerky and Buffalo Lung chips Dr. Becker krill oil so much more...

As I have to wonder why I traveled so far so soon to find a new friend..

I understand now....

Friede was my first rescue CatchCreek Animal rescue was asking $300.00 dollars
I only had $315.00 in my bank account I just paid my mortgage work was very light
and I have a great story holding Free as I filled out the papers to take Friede home
as I gave Donna Hawk $300.00 dollars even know she said your the reason; why I
rescue $250.00 for Friede;....

And now I print my life painting on LS as I have learned so much more about myself as I have reached out
to others as i'am still learning everyday as I show you my steps in loss and light are friends are here to forever
teach us how to become a better Human as each step is more difficult then the next;...I'am Marching forward
to save Myself in the beautiful paintings as my next best friend will truly make me shine as I can care for the
ones that are left behind as they have the most beautiful story's to tell...

Beautiful life pictures are just beginnings....

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Apr 19 2019, 08:29 PM

Mr. Murphy update Medical records have been sent as I will make the 330 mile
journey to take...This Guy is mine no matter as I cant see anyone taking better...
Fear is a powerful deterrent to miss a beautiful life experience...

As we learn and love ones pass we try harder and keep the ones we... close to are hearts
as they do speak;... As we watch over new life are heart grows as we begin to see a beautiful
life that touches a part of us as we reach out to save are;...

Mr. Murphy is coming Home Tomorrow for good as I almost lost this opportunity as I will foster
as my Heart already knows this will be his forever home...I love this guy so much and I wake with tears
as I have loss its a struggle as I try and keep my emotions in Check...

When Friede is let outside and she sits in a spot where Elsa;... and Free would sit as the terrorist would hold me
hostage; asking for more treats as they would band together and protest;....

For the short time I had Elsa this one;....I truly miss as I gave my entire Heart;....Forgive me...

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Apr 21 2019, 06:07 PM

My journey 660 miles as I follow my heart....I'am ;....

Mr.Murphy is Home.....

SDR rescue in Fort Wayne Indiana thank you to Gayla.. Don.. Pam
truly awesome people.

I have so much to say....

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Apr 27 2019, 05:44 PM

Mr. Murphy is and now has a forever home....

VAH and Dr. Christakos today's evaluation was....
You have such a good boy he is healthy No Hip dysplasia
possible loose Knee cap Doxie stuff;)

Very long story short....

Mr. Murphy has his forever home and now I must make sure iam never absent of my
care as I have a life long friend I can not afford misplacing my efforts as they will always
come back to haunt me even if...As Thee,... teach you need to listen very carefully as we
will be rewarded;)..

Posted by: My Doxie and Me May 4 2019, 05:22 PM

The most beautiful part of my imagination
as I close my eye;s… I can see you again my Nashorn;...
A true best friend as we share a special moment.....

Caring for a life is a part of Friendship....
Letting life go is a true test of Human Will...
Caring for another as you have the power to end;....
The one you love...You must let go;.....

Can we walk for a moment.....I need to catch my breath....

Posted by: My Doxie and Me May 17 2019, 07:22 PM

I must address a fallen Friend....

My thoughts are always with you as i truly....My Dear friend i believe you have
taken a piece of me...My most difficult rescue i put all my talents as i sowed my heart
onto yours as we share the same place.....I truly miss you my friend....My Nashorn...

I shall be watched in these times and never let doubt enter are mind;s As i know
I was and will be forever present....Forgive me....

Posted by: My Doxie and Me May 25 2019, 03:14 PM

Never give up learning everyday with a new...
Letting a best friend Depart from this earth...

Honoring a friend I care for so much opens doors so I might learn more about myself
and the care that I can offer...As a brief moment in time reflects who we really are....

What A rescue is as are heart will forever be open...

Thank you my Nashorn as I will keep this one Mr. Murphy close
to my heart as I have a long road;...

I truly miss you my friend...

Posted by: My Doxie and Me May 27 2019, 02:42 PM

Reflection in are own tears as they teach us we will sit in silence to view a true friend...
We close are eyes I can truly see....Watching apart of me say Goodbye;....
When the day is done and we have time I will close my eyes;...
As I can see you again thru my tears....I struggle with your loss as
I miss your Heart beat on my chest...Forgive me,,,

Tears that fall will lead us to Higher ground I had everything and then....

This gift is not for us to hold yet to spread life in Honor and Friendship....

Ich liebe dich, mein Freund;...

A forever friend has a voice as we need to run are hands
on Braille to find the hidden words that they speak....


Posted by: My Doxie and Me Jun 6 2019, 07:17 PM

S.G. Hoffman-Pletter

Pic Coming soon

Honoring a Friend searching.....

Posted by: My Doxie and Me Jun 11 2019, 06:12 PM

Can I; Keep you....

My friend iam looking to...You will hold a Special place...We will sing in the …

Let me Honor a True Friend as we must take steps;....I;....Usin...My Friend I Crumble
Underneath your....I Whisper your name as I close my eyes;....

Forgive me as Broken dreams I search the sands of time I think ...I understand...You have changed my life;.....
And the life of others I will always...I miss you so much my Freund;...

Ich liebe dich meine Elsa...
Meine schönen freund Elefantenohren kann ich nicht mehr anfassen:....

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