So Hard To Say Good Bye

It is so hard to be back here. I can't tell you all how much help and support that I found here after Solas, my 16 yo cat passed away three years ago.

Sigh, Now I am back again. Our poor sweet goofy ##er spaniel, Jake died yesterday. It was very sudden. Within 24 hours, he went from fine, to sick, to dead. He had developed IMHA, a type of anemia, common to ##er spaniels.

I'm glad he didn't have to suffer long. It was so hard to watch him die right in front of me. It was peaceful, but so sad. My two kids were with me and it was very hard to see them so wounded.

I loved that silly little dog. He was such a goof. Wildly jealous of the cat. He had a funy walk, sometimes his back feet went faster than his fromt feet, so he went all slanted.

Anyway, glad to be where you all get it. Thanks for your help.

And if anyone has tips on how I can help my 9 yo son deal with this, cause it was his dog, I would really appreciate it.

Thanks,
Ariel

I Really Thought That I'd Be Over It By Now,but...

Hello Everyone,

My darling Solas, a sixteen year old regal looking prince of a cat with a heart of gold and a true NY attitude, passed away in June. When it first happened I found such comfort here, it helped me go on. Now I am back. My grief has popped out of nowhere. I am a useless mess. I'm crying when no ones home, I think I see Solas out of the corner of my eye. I know that happens at first, but STILL? When am I gonna feel normal again? I miss that big lump of fur so much. I want to be able to reach out and pet him under his chin, in that place that would move his whiskers all forward and make him slit his eyes shut.

I don't really know what's bringing it up, but let me tell you it's been a Hell of a summer.
First we had to evacuate from not one , but two hurricanes. Florida's so lovely this time of year.
Then my 4 year old daughter was rushed to the ER after turning blue at school. 3 days in PICU that I would like to never relive again! She was tested for everything from her heart to her head and passed with flying colors, Thank God. But I am like 10 years older for the ordeal. Then both are cars were broken into and heck, they can take the stuff, what wigged me out was the idea that some creeps were right outside our door.

So I've had a little stress lately. I did notice that the first Thanksgiving w/o him seemed to bother me. I always used to get him a can of "the good food", in turkey for his own feast. We have a little cat, Snowball, who just turned one. Big deal I say, Solas had more personality in a whisker than he does. Snowball won't tolerate being held and Solas was such a loving lap cat. Stupid little fellow tries to keep escaping, one day I may let him!

I'm just a mean ol broken hearted grouch whose coming back to the place where people really "got me".

Thanks Guys,
Ariel

1st Birthday Without Him

Hello fur family,

Solas' birthday is on Sunday. I'm already feeling that lost pit feeling in my chest. I miss him so much. I even called about a cat that was up for adoption, but I can't let a new cat in the house because of the FIP (the terrible disease that took my baby in 3 short weeks ). My husband doesn't want another cat anyway.

I'm in foul humor, I'm afraid. I have been dealing with some medical issues and I finally got to see a specialist today. The doctor had ZERO bedside manner and when I said that I didn't have any of the conditions that are supposed to lead to this illness, he says "Sure you do; you're overweight!" Oh bite me!

But anyway, I wanted to tell you about Solas. He was such a wonderful and princely black cat. I adopted him when he was 8 weeks old. We figured his birthday was 8/8/88 and when it rolled around the next year, I gave him a surprise party. It was great, all my friends came and brought catnip in every possible form. I made him a cat food cake with Cheez-wiz icing and a little hat. He gave me one of those disgusted looks, like, "I don't do hats!". I miss him and his funny ways. You know, we all knew our animal so intimately that we could understand what a meow or whine meant. It's hard when you lose that special connection. I know someone will tell me that I am still connected, but tonight I want purring in my ear like before.

I know I sound like a spoiled child, but I had a crappy ol' day where someone had the bad manners to point out my own fat ass to me.

Keep me in mind on Sunday, right?
Thanks,
Ariel

Is This Only Happening To Me?

Hi everybody,

It's been six weeks since my precious 16 year old cat, Solas, died. I have found so much healing here and for that I am so greatful. Here is my problem; I wanted to know if it has happened to anyone else.

I have not had a single dream about Solas. I haven't had any "contact" at all. I've even been looking for rainbows and nothing. I want some sign that Solas is OK. I miss him so much. We had such a connection, I really didn't expect the seperation to be so complete. I like to think I am a spiritual person, like I would be open to some kind of sign. It just makes me feel so sad. I want to feel something. I read so many posts that share beautiful experiences and I just feel left out.

Maybe I'm not looking in the right places. So if you want to post any ways you pet has communicated with you, feel free.

Thanks for listening,
Ariel

Please Tell Me What Will Help

Hi everybody,

I can't believe its been a week since my precious 16 year old black cat, Solas, died. It feels very long and very short, if you know what I mean. I am still staying inside and sleeping a lot. I went to the mall on Monday and I wanted to buy some candles for the candle lighting ceremony. I started crying a couple of times. And a really insensitive sales person was mean when I told her about the candle lighting ceremony website. She rolled her eyes and said, "Ah, I don't go to THOSE kind of websites" I just wanted to slap her. You know how you think of the perfect comeback. . . once you're in the parking lot. But I didn't say anything, I just put down my basket and walked out.

I miss Solas so much. He was such a great cat. He could let me know how he was feeling with just a glance. You all have helped me so much What a relief to know other people feel the loss of their fur babies just as intensly. People who just don't get it can say such insensitive things.

My kids said that they missed Solas yesterday. For the most part, the haven't appeared really upset. I've been trying to talk about him and read them stories like "The Tenth Good Thing About Barney".

So I'm wondering what else I can do to help them (and me) feel better. When people reply to my post, it really helps me feel good, just knowing someone out there cares. So thanks everyone.

Solas' Mom,
Ariel