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> My Kitten Passed Away And I Need Help
Amyd0110
post Jan 15 2016, 11:28 AM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 2
Joined: 15-January 16
From: Pennsylvania
Member No.: 8,769



Hi everybody, I am new to this site but I decided to sign up to share my story and get some support. My poor little kitten passed away two nights ago after being through a rough life. They believe he was born in June so he would have been 7 months but he was the tiniest little boy. His real name was Cement (his original owners name him that) I always called him Mr. Mittens. This is a very long story but I hope you will stick with me and read it all):

A man who owned a concrete business found a litter of kittens outside of his shop in July. He didn't know what to do so he left them there one more night. The next day he came back to see all of the kittens were attacked by something and killed. Except for one kitten hiding under a wooden pallet. He took him into his shop, took him to the vet to get the few scratches on his face fixed up, and named him Cement. From then on he became the shop kitty in the garage. One day in September the workers came into the shop to discover a wooden pallet fell onto then poor kitten and he was stuck underneath with just his head sticking out. They rushed him to the vets and he was X-rayed and discovered he had a badly broken pelvis and tail. He was prescribed pain medicine and needed to be on cage rest for 5 weeks. The man that had him was such a busy guy running his own business he asked his cat loving friend if she could take care of him. The cat loving friend was my boyfriends mom, and of course she said yes. She texted my boyfriend to tell him there is a hurt kitten at the house in a cage. And I of course told him we need to rush over there and see the poor kitten, because if there's anyone in this world that loves cats too much, it's me (I have 4 of my own)... I fell in love instantly and tears rolled down my face as I looked at the helpless little kitten whose back legs couldn't move. They said if he did not move his bowels in three days he would need to be put to sleep. I watched Mr.Mittens like a hawk and tried feeding him and giving him water but he refused. He didn't go to the bathroom for 2 whole days. On the morning of the third day he finally moved his bowels and peed! I was so happy he could live!

He had lots of trouble getting up and walking and especially had trouble pushing to poop. When he got turds out they were little and flat. But he was at least going. 5 weeks of cage rest and he was ready to walk all around the house. He had a goofy crooked tail and walked a little funny but it's what made him special! The other 3 cats accepted him immediately, it was strange to me! He loved canned food and kitten milk and seemed to be the happiest kitten ever! A month later we began to notice he was trying to poop anywhere in the house, he would push but nothing would come out. He started to just have little puddles come out, and would have it on his rear end almost all the time. And he would get poop smears all over the house. We thought he had a bone blocking his c&%^. Right before Christmas it seemed to have gotten worse and like he was never getting anything out. We had to wait after Christmas to take him to the vets because my boyfriend and I had no money.

The vets felt him and could feel he was backed up with poop. Lots of it. They gave him an enema and sub-q fluids with some lactulose medication (stool softener). We were given a weeks worth of enemas, fluids, medication, special food, and a high calorie syrup. He was not himself when we brought him home that day, he didn't want to eat or move and he threw up the second dose of lactulose. It was because he was so tired from everything done to him. The next day he was also very tired, but I gave him his sub-q fluids so he would not be dehydrated. We also talked to the vets later that night and she said not to give him the enema or medication and she wanted to see him the next morning. He did eat a little bit and perked up after the fluids. Our poor kitty also smelled so so so bad because this backed up feces were being flushed out of him. She X-rayed him the next day and his bones have healed wonderfully and there was enough room for poop to be moved through and pushed out. But there was a lot of poop stuck in his colon.

For a week he was in and out of the vets for deeper enemas that seemed to be working wonders. We were taking him home afterwards and he seemed to be doing just fine. On Monday the vet said the mass of feces in him is breaking down very slowly and suggested a procedure where he would be put under and they would use a probe to go up into his colon and remove the impaction. We dropped him off Tuesday to get this procedure but his blood work indicated his red blood cell count was too low and he was very anemic and they couldn't do the procedure because he might not wake up. They kept him there that night and gave him an enema. They called the next morning (Wednesday) to let us know he is doing well and ate a lot of food. They wanted to keep him there all day and another night. That day they gave him 3 enemas and did get a lot of poop out but after the third enema at 4pm he was very weak and tired. I visited him before I went to work and he was so so so wiped out. It broke my heart. I went to work and got a call around 7:15 saying he was not doing well and was very weak and tired and he may not make it. They have him pain medication so he was not in pain. I got this voicemail on my break around 8. I called my boyfriend and we both left work to rush to see our baby one more time. The vets office closed at 7 but luckily there were two vet techs left taking care of him and let us in to see him.

The vet tech handed me my little boy wrapped up in a blanket where he was helpless. He mewed at my boyfriend and I about 5 times and moved his head, the tech said he hasn't made barely any noise all night. My heart was breaking so badly and we were both balling out eyes out. We held him for a long time, crying, talking to him, and kissing him. He needed to stay at the vets to receive any medication he needed. I felt so terrible leaving him there but I knew he had to be. The vet techs stayed with him hours after they were supposed to go home. He ended up passing away not long after my boyfriend and I said goodbye and left. They said he was given two shots of pain medication so he would not feel a thing.

I feel terrible letting him be like that that night. I never thought when I dropped him off the stay there he was gonna end up like this. He was so happy that day I dropped him off, walking, purring, meowing. And then I see him helplessly in a blanket. I feel so bad I was not able to put him to sleep that night because no vets were there. He was given pain medication and said that he was not in pain, but I can't seem to believe he wasn't suffering. Were his mews out of happiness to see us or out of suffering? I feel awful that he was there for the last days of his life and not with us. I feel as though that we did not take him soon enough to the vets. He passed away because all his feces were breaking up inside of him and so many toxins were being released into his little 2 pound body and he couldn't handle it anymore. He was recieving penicillin shots to try to fight the toxins but it did not work. I feel like they shouldn't have given him three enemas in one day, but maybe it was necessary because they did almost get all of the feces out of him at this point. I can't help but keep blaming myself for his death and I don't know why.

He probably would have had life long issues where he would need to be on stool softener for life and get an enema once a month. But at least he would be living. Is it better that he is at peace now and doesn't have to live with that? He just seemed so happy at home and loving and he was so young. I wanted him to be with me for much longer. I just can't accept that he is gone and I feel like he left this life upset with my boyfriend and I for doing this to him): I just love him so much and want him back with us. Yesterday morning was the last time I got to say goodbye to his lifeless body and decided to get him cremated. I can't seem to stop crying and feel so depressed. I feel like I failed him..
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moon_beam
post Jan 15 2016, 02:03 PM
Post #2


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Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,088
Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, Amy, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Mr. Mittens. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion so very young who has experienced multiple traumatic medical crises intensifies the grief.

Amy, please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. From what you share with us there is no doubt that you and your boyfriend did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Mr. Mittens a happy and healthy earthly journey. Sometimes veterinary medicine can restore our companions to a good quality of health so that they can continue to enjoy their earthly journey with us, and sadly - - as in the case of your beloved Mr. Mittens, there are times when the only thing veterinary medicine can do is try to keep our companions as comfortable as possible until their earthly journey is completed. Knowing this doesn't stop the agonzing pain of the grief adjustment journey, but hopefully in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Mr. Mittens is so very thankful for everything you did for him and that he is now released from his frail physical body enjoying eternal joy in the company of angels.

This grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity because it is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - which is why it is frequently referred to as as horror roller coaster ride. Unfortunately there is no easy way to navigate this grief journey - - there are no fast forward or delete buttons we can press to speed up the process or make it automatically disappear. You are now on a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time sometimes one moment at a time with the reassurance that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

As painful as the grief journey is adjusting to the physical absence of your beloved Mr. Mittens, there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Mr. Mittens share. Love is eternal, Amy - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. I hope in time you will find comfort in knowing that your beloved Mr. Mittens' sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, ecouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Mr. Mittens with us, Amy. He is such a sweetie, and you are forever blessed to be his sole, and soul, heir to his eternal love. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Amy, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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LittleGirl's...
post Jan 15 2016, 06:25 PM
Post #3





Group: Moderators
Posts: 845
Joined: 24-March 04
From: Maine
Member No.: 274



Amy,

I am SO sorry to hear of the physical loss of your precious Mr. Mittens!

As moon_beam has said, you and your boyfriend did everything in your human and humane power for him!

The feeling that we didn't do enough seems to be universal. Please don't blame yourself for anything! Instead, you and your boyfriend are his angels. And now he is with his Mom and siblings (maybe after all they went through, they needed to be together? That thought just occurred to me). You will be fully reunited with him when it is your time. In the meantime, he is still there with you (just not in his precious, handsome physical form sad.gif ), as in the realm he's in, there are no time / space limitations.

Bless you for every wonderful thing you did for this precious little guy! You and your boyfriend truly are angels. Please be good to yourselves---that is exactly what Mr. Mittens wants. wub.gif

My heartfelt sympathies to you along this very painful journey. Please check in here and let us know how you are doing. Thinking of you and sending warm prayers of healing.

Kathy
P.S. OH! And I really believe he mewed to communicate that he was happy to see you and your boyfriend. He felt blessed, and lucky, that someone cared about him so very much. I think the pain meds were taking care of any pain.


--------------------
Compassion for all animals. www.earthlings.com
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Amyd0110
post Jan 16 2016, 09:32 AM
Post #4





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 2
Joined: 15-January 16
From: Pennsylvania
Member No.: 8,769



QUOTE (moon_beam @ Jan 15 2016, 02:03 PM) *
Hi, Amy, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Mr. Mittens. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion so very young who has experienced multiple traumatic medical crises intensifies the grief.

Amy, please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. From what you share with us there is no doubt that you and your boyfriend did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Mr. Mittens a happy and healthy earthly journey. Sometimes veterinary medicine can restore our companions to a good quality of health so that they can continue to enjoy their earthly journey with us, and sadly - - as in the case of your beloved Mr. Mittens, there are times when the only thing veterinary medicine can do is try to keep our companions as comfortable as possible until their earthly journey is completed. Knowing this doesn't stop the agonzing pain of the grief adjustment journey, but hopefully in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Mr. Mittens is so very thankful for everything you did for him and that he is now released from his frail physical body enjoying eternal joy in the company of angels.

This grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity because it is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - which is why it is frequently referred to as as horror roller coaster ride. Unfortunately there is no easy way to navigate this grief journey - - there are no fast forward or delete buttons we can press to speed up the process or make it automatically disappear. You are now on a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time sometimes one moment at a time with the reassurance that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

As painful as the grief journey is adjusting to the physical absence of your beloved Mr. Mittens, there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Mr. Mittens share. Love is eternal, Amy - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. I hope in time you will find comfort in knowing that your beloved Mr. Mittens' sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, ecouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Mr. Mittens with us, Amy. He is such a sweetie, and you are forever blessed to be his sole, and soul, heir to his eternal love. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Amy, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


Thank you so much for reading my entire story and responding. I really, really appreciate it. It brings some happiness into my heart when I get to read a response. As I wake up the morning and I read your post again, I am feeling a bit happier. I know we did everything for Mr. Mittens to get better. We spent every last penny on him trying to get better (even borrowed money from my boyfriend's grandma). And I could care less that I have no money because I can work hard and make it back. It's the truth that people will do anything and everything for their pets when they're in need of help. I wouldn't care if I had $10,000 worth of vet bills to pay off for my kitties because I love them so much!

I am still feeling sad and cry very easily when I think about Mittens or look at a picture of him. I miss him so much. But I know where he is now that he is healthy, happy, and with all his brother and sister kittens that passed away. I still can't get myself to go over to my boyfriends house, where Mittens lived. He has 3 other cats there and the one likes to follow me everywhere, and every time I turn around I think it is Mittens, because he also liked to follow me around. I was there the other day and all I could do was cry. I know it will take time to accept he is gone.

The vet told us she was determined to get Mr. Mittens healthy again but he took a turn that was not expected. She tried her hardest and treated him like he was her own, as did the vet techs. They would carry him around the office wrapped up in a blanket since he was always getting baths. The vet had him wrapped up on her lap while she did paper work in her office. I'm glad the last days of his life he was treated that way other than left in a cage in the back room of the vets office. I still wish he was with us but he needed to be there.

Thank you for your uplifting response, it really made me feel better. It's nice having people who I've never met giving me support and feedback on Mittens life story. It reminds me that there are good people out there that care about others! I will keep answering posts to let everyone know how I am doing. Thank you SO much!
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moon_beam
post Jan 16 2016, 10:19 AM
Post #5


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Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,088
Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, Amy, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so smiling at your wonderful memories of your beloved Mr. Mittens as he would follow you when you visited your boyfriend. During the deep grief our memories can be comforting as well as feel like a stabbing sword in our hearts. This grief journey is not so much about "accepting" the physical absence of our beloved companion but rather one of "adjusting to" it - - for they are always and forever a part of our heart and memories, and there will be times when our arms will long to hold them once again.

Even though we will never meet one another in this physical realm, there are no strangers here - - for we share a bond of friendship that binds our hearts together - - for we share a common bond of our love for our beloved companions. And when we finally meet at our appropriate time beyond this earthly realm there will be no need for introductions - - for we will already know one another through our beloved companions.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Amy, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Mr. Mittens' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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