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> Missing My Best Friend So Much
Pilaf
post Apr 24 2017, 03:00 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 3
Joined: 24-April 17
Member No.: 9,037



I lost my feathered friend Pilaf, my lovebird (dwarf parrot), 3 weeks ago. He was my best friend for 18 years, and for more than 10 years he was my only friend. He was also registered as my therapy animal and he helped me so much with the challenges I face as an autistic person. Pilaf was getting quite old and the last year of his life he had struggled with a few health issues like cataract, a stroke and kidney failure. I had to give him meds for that. He wasn't in any pain and he wanted to live. Even the people at the specialized avian vet said that they had never seen such a fighter, and they also said the bond I had with Pilaf was very unique. They had never seen it before, such an amazing attachment between a person and a parrot. But 3 weeks ago Pilaf had a stroke again and he died. I am left which so many questions and it feels so unreal. 18 years he has been with me always, on my shoulder outside and on trips, and sleeping in my hand while I was working on my drawings (I'm a pencil artist). It feels so empty now. I miss him so much. I feel my autism is hitting the roof as well, the comfort he gave me, he always helped me to calm down. I miss him so much. I'm constantly thinking: "Where did he go"? and "Where is he now?". Is he still with me? Is he watching over me? Also many feelings of guilt -- "Why did I go to that stupid appointment that morning?". I never have appointments and right on that morning he has that fatal stroke. If I had stayed home I could have rushed him to the vet earlier. Does the pain ever get easier? I wish I could talk to him. I want to know if he enjoyed his life with me. Everybody tells me he had a wonderful life and many parrots wish they could have a life like Pilaf, but it would be so good to hear it from Pilaf. I also wonder if he is okay now wherever he is. I want him to be happy and doing well. How can I ever find out? How can I feel that he's still with me?
I hope some of you have answers for me. Here's a photo of Pilaf and me.

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moon_beam
post Apr 30 2017, 11:03 AM
Post #2


Forum Moderator


Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,088
Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, Pilaf's guardian, please permit me to offer you my very belated sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Pilaf. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion so suddenly intensifies the grief.

Pilaf's guardian, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. One of the many emotions we all experiences is guilt / remorse for this comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys that haunt and torture our hearts when we are so emotionally vulnerable. From what you share with us there is no doubt that you did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Pilaf a happy and healthy earthly journey. I hope in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Pilaf knows that you love him, and that this love bond you and your beloved Pilaf share is eternal - - it is not restricted by the physical laws of time space. Your beloved Pilaf's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep sorrow there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Pilaf with us, and this wonderful picture of your handsome boy. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Pilaf's guardian, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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LittleGirl's...
post May 4 2017, 05:03 PM
Post #3





Group: Moderators
Posts: 845
Joined: 24-March 04
From: Maine
Member No.: 274



Hello Pilaf's Guardian,

I'm so very sorry about the physical loss of your precious Pilaf! There is nothing quite like this type of grief ! And guilt comes with it even though you have nothing to feel guilty about. Nothing at all.

Pilaf knows he was and is and will always be loved. He's still around you and you will eventually be fully reunited. In the meantime he's in total bliss, and to him, there are no time/space limitations. He can be with you and flying around at the same time. smile.gif

Some people are lucky enough to get signs from their departed pets. And even if you don't get signs, that doesn't mean he's not right there with you--and in bliss.

I hope you let us know how you are doing.

Beautiful picture, by the way!

Prayers for healing,
Kathy

QUOTE (Pilaf @ Apr 24 2017, 04:00 PM) *
I lost my feathered friend Pilaf, my lovebird (dwarf parrot), 3 weeks ago. He was my best friend for 18 years, and for more than 10 years he was my only friend. He was also registered as my therapy animal and he helped me so much with the challenges I face as an autistic person. Pilaf was getting quite old and the last year of his life he had struggled with a few health issues like cataract, a stroke and kidney failure. I had to give him meds for that. He wasn't in any pain and he wanted to live. Even the people at the specialized avian vet said that they had never seen such a fighter, and they also said the bond I had with Pilaf was very unique. They had never seen it before, such an amazing attachment between a person and a parrot. But 3 weeks ago Pilaf had a stroke again and he died. I am left which so many questions and it feels so unreal. 18 years he has been with me always, on my shoulder outside and on trips, and sleeping in my hand while I was working on my drawings (I'm a pencil artist). It feels so empty now. I miss him so much. I feel my autism is hitting the roof as well, the comfort he gave me, he always helped me to calm down. I miss him so much. I'm constantly thinking: "Where did he go"? and "Where is he now?". Is he still with me? Is he watching over me? Also many feelings of guilt -- "Why did I go to that stupid appointment that morning?". I never have appointments and right on that morning he has that fatal stroke. If I had stayed home I could have rushed him to the vet earlier. Does the pain ever get easier? I wish I could talk to him. I want to know if he enjoyed his life with me. Everybody tells me he had a wonderful life and many parrots wish they could have a life like Pilaf, but it would be so good to hear it from Pilaf. I also wonder if he is okay now wherever he is. I want him to be happy and doing well. How can I ever find out? How can I feel that he's still with me?
I hope some of you have answers for me. Here's a photo of Pilaf and me.



--------------------
Compassion for all animals. www.earthlings.com
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Pilaf
post May 5 2017, 07:56 AM
Post #4





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 3
Joined: 24-April 17
Member No.: 9,037



Thank you very much for all your words of support. It is good to know that all my feelings are normal in a time of such grief. That truly helps me. I also find it a very healing thought to know that Pilaf is still with me in spirit. Sorry also by the way for my late response. By the way -- it is me in the photo with Pilaf, the photo is from summer last year. I look very young.


QUOTE (moon_beam @ Apr 30 2017, 12:03 PM) *
Hi, Pilaf's guardian, please permit me to offer you my very belated sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Pilaf. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion so suddenly intensifies the grief.

Pilaf's guardian, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. One of the many emotions we all experiences is guilt / remorse for this comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys that haunt and torture our hearts when we are so emotionally vulnerable. From what you share with us there is no doubt that you did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Pilaf a happy and healthy earthly journey. I hope in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Pilaf knows that you love him, and that this love bond you and your beloved Pilaf share is eternal - - it is not restricted by the physical laws of time space. Your beloved Pilaf's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep sorrow there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Pilaf with us, and this wonderful picture of your handsome boy. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Pilaf's guardian, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

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Pilaf
post May 5 2017, 08:00 AM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 3
Joined: 24-April 17
Member No.: 9,037



Thank you very much too Kathy, for your response. That really helps me a lot. I wonder why some people do get signs from their pet who passes away, and why some people don't. Does that depend on the pet, or on the guardian?


QUOTE (LittleGirl'sMommy @ May 4 2017, 06:03 PM) *
Hello Pilaf's Guardian,

I'm so very sorry about the physical loss of your precious Pilaf! There is nothing quite like this type of grief ! And guilt comes with it even though you have nothing to feel guilty about. Nothing at all.

Pilaf knows he was and is and will always be loved. He's still around you and you will eventually be fully reunited. In the meantime he's in total bliss, and to him, there are no time/space limitations. He can be with you and flying around at the same time. smile.gif

Some people are lucky enough to get signs from their departed pets. And even if you don't get signs, that doesn't mean he's not right there with you--and in bliss.

I hope you let us know how you are doing.

Beautiful picture, by the way!

Prayers for healing,
Kathy
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moon_beam
post May 5 2017, 11:43 AM
Post #6


Forum Moderator


Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,088
Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, Pilaf's Guardian, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. When we lose a beloved companion this grief journey is difficult enough to navigate. Losing a companion who is also our Therapy Partner intensifies the grief exponentially, as the relationship is even more special. I know this from first hand experience as a canine companion I had several years ago became my Therapy Partner when I was recovering from severe injuries from an automobile collision. When he transitioned from this earthly realm the grief adjustment journey was exceptionally intense. I hope you are receiving support from family members and friends, as well as finding comfort here.

I hope today and every day is treating you kindly, Pilaf's Guardian, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Pilaf's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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