My sweet beloved baby girl words can’t even express how much I miss you and need you by my side right now. Ever since you left us you have left a huge hole in my heart that is very hard to put back together. 3 months have gone by and I still miss all of our lovely memories that we have spent together. You were always my best friend my companion, my little girl my whole world. I still remember when you just to come to my room every morning to lick my check just to wake me up because you needed me by your side. I miss your cuddles, our playing times, you following me whenever I was going just to be with me. You were such a beautiful lovely sweet little kitten that ever since you came into our life’s that very instant you won everyone’s heart. You can’t believe how much we all miss you and hope that this tragedy never had occurred. But we all know that you are now in better called rainbow bridge and that you are playing together with your little friends and not suffering anymore. I just hope that you haven’t forgotten about us and that you always remember that you have left a big family that will always love you and never forget about you. Happy 3 month anniversary my sweet baby princess you will 4ever we in our hearts. We love you more than words can say and hope you are doing well wherever you are. Till we meet again my baby angel your whole family misses you.we are all sad and thinking of you today

Princess my sweet baby girl I'm crying and so sad today because I still can't accept that you are no longer here with me. You were the only one that was able to understand me. Whenever I was down you were always there by my side cuddling with me an now that you are gone I feel so lonely and miserable. I wish I was able to bring you back just to bring a smile to my face again. but we all know that is totally impossible for me to do. Here's a poem that I dedicate to you my baby girl


I ONLY WANTED YOU {{{{my baby princess}}}}





They say memories are golden

Well maybe that is true.

I never wanted memories,

I only wanted you.





A million times I needed you,

A million times I cried.

If love alone could have saved you

You never would have died.







In life I loved you dearly,

In death I love you still.

In my heart you hold a place

No one could ever fill.





If tears could build a stairway

And heartache makes a lane,

I'd walk the path to heaven

And bring you back again.



Our family chain is broken,

And nothing seems the same.

But as God calls us one by one,

The chain will link again.

Oh Princess's mom

I cried when I read your posts about your sweet little girl. These babies are not "just animals". They are our soul animals. They carry a part of our soul and we carry a part of their souls. That's why, although the pain does subside from an acid-covered dagger to a heavy mass in the heart and always tears in the eyes. Your baby has only been in the Perfect World for a short time so your heart is still being sliced moment to moment by the "used to be's" and the "if only's". Your Princess is now a spirit, and as a spirit, she is still right where she has always been - by your side. As Moonbeam teaches us, we humans define "being real" as being able to sense something - see them, hear them, touch them. And when we can't, we say they are non-existent or not there. But that is SO not true. Spirits have many wonderful characteristics. I think the best of them is that they can be in two places at once: in the Perfect World AND by our sides. Sometimes these animals give their people signs to let them know that they are all right, some don't. My second dog, Rufus, a half black lab-half Newfie senior rescue dog has been in the Perfect World for 18 months and has not given me a sign. Maybe that is because his foster mother made me a beautiful book of photographs of him - the one on the cover looks like he could step right out of the photo. Gretta, my first dog as an adult, a beautiful 10-year-old rescued chocolate lab, let me see not exactly her but a golden retriever that I knew was she. I was sleeping on the orthopedic dog bed because I was so sad after she went home and at the exact instant I woke up I saw this golden retriever between the dog bed and her food and water bowls - just for an instant. In my heart I knew she was telling me she was OK.

Princess's mom, let out all the tears you have to shed for Princess not being physically with you. After some time (it varies by person) the intense suffering will begin to abate but because Precious Princess took a piece of your souls with her there will always be a Princess-shaped hole in your heart, a dull but real pain to remind you that someone you love is somewhere else. And guess what? Princess left a part of HER soul with you to take care of and love just like when she was there in physical form. And when you get to the Perfect World, these soul-pieces will be exchanged, both of you will be whole and you WILL live in happiness forever. The road to the golden eternity looks rough and rocky - and it IS - but when you get there, your happiness will never end.

Be kind to yourself, Princess's mom. Princess is on her job guiding your steps, looking out for you and most of all loving you - just like before.

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Hello Greta's Mom,

Thank so much for your beautiful words towards my baby princess. I know that one part of my baby is still with me because I could feel it every night she just to come and visit me, but now it just seem to stop. At first my baby just to come home car just like she did when she was alive to announce that she was back, I was able to hear scratches in the doors meows outside when she was here just to tell me she wanted to come right inside. Also at night I was able to feel that someone was trying to get on my bed I was able to feel it. I won't lie to you that I was a bit afraid because even-though I knew that the one doing all this things was my princess something inside me was in panic at that very moment. I also saw her little face bloating in the middle of my room maybe those were all signs letting me know not to be sad that she was doing ok and all she wanted was to see me happy. But how can I be happy again when my little girl died the way she did a dumb driver took my little girls life away and I was not able to be there to save her like I did the first time I had found her. I feel awful and I think I'm a terrible mother because it was my fault that she was hit by a car right in front of my house because I left her outside that night it happen. How irresponsible from my behalf to do this to my little girl leaving her out at night time alone without any supervision and that's when she got hit. What makes me feel even worse is that maybe my girl passed away upset with me and blaming me for leaving her outside that night. I'm so sorry my little girl mommy never tended to leave you alone and especially to cause you this horrible accident that took your life away How can you make yourself feel any better if you know it was your own fault that your baby died? how can you deal with the guilt for leaving her behind when your little girl was following you that night because she wanted to be with you? how? to be honest I really don't believe that I will see her again even-though people tell me that I will I just think that my little girl was taken from me forever and ever and I will never going to see her again. I'm so sorry about your loss to Gretta but do you mind telling me what happen to your baby and how recent is your loss?

Kindly regards,

Mayra

Princess mommy 4ever in my heart my little girl. Words can't even express how much I miss you and wish you were here near me just like you did before

Oh Princess's mom,

After only three months you are surely still in the shock-and-awe phase - when every thought feels like your heart is being shot into pieces with a high-powered rifle. Your love for your Princess shines through every word you write. Our special animals, those with whom we have shared our lives and our hearts, those who knew us better than any human being, those who understood how we felt and when we were sad, knew just what to do to banish the sadness with their love - these animals have a special power. They can read the true intentions of our hearts. Princess has not one fiber in her that thinks her accident was your fault or that you were a bad mother. Always when we hurt so much, we look back with a whole list of "If only's" and "what if's". Please rest assured that none of what we accuse ourselves during these terrible times is true - and, even more important, Princess knows that. Princess remembers you as the best mom in the universe - and she is this minute walking with her tail high going around the Perfect World telling everybody this. Every other animal there who had a loving human parent is smiling sweetly because they, too, know THEY had the best mommies and daddies there ever were.

This shock-and-awe phase lasts different lengths for different people. I think I still have a little of it five years after my Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived, and two and a half years after Rufus, my Big Black Dog - half black lab/half Newfie went to the Perfect world. Both were adopted from a rescue organization and were senior dogs (I call them white muzzlers) when I adopted them. I knew my heart would be broken by their passing before I did/ I also know that the price of love is loss and pain and this is what we take on - eyes open - when we choose to love an animal.

It turns out that the loss of my beautiful dogs was only practice for recent losses in my family. My little sister (Bobbie) here at Lightning Strike passed away on April 9 after two years of a horrible fight against colon cancer. Then on August 1, my beloved father died at age 86 from an esophagus condition that prevented him from eating and drinking. He was in a so-called "skilled" nursing home but somehow they weren't "skilled" enough to administer IV fluids and nutrition. My remaining sister is seriously mentally ill with personality disorders and if I had gone to my father's funeral, she would have turned it into a three-ring circus at best and nuclear war at worst - which is the exact opposite of everything my dad stood for and lived by. I am where you are with respect to my little sister and my father. IT HURTS!!!!

But the rehearsals with my beautiful dogs gave me some understanding that this intense pain will over time give way to a lesser ache - like a stone of concrete around my heart. When Rufus died, I was half a continent away trying to take care of Bobbie so he died all alone (I'm crying now) - no one to hold his giant head, no one to stroke his velvet ears, no one to tell him what a truly GOOD dog he is and how much he is loved. This is my GUILT. I know it's all coming from me. Rufus was a strong dog. He knows what I was doing and why I wasn't there. Someday I will see him again in the Perfect world and we will hold each other and I will tell him how sorry I am and he will tell me it doesn't matter one bit, that we love each other exactly as before.

You and Princess will do this, too. I promise.

Gretta and Rufus's mom (Jeanne)

Dear Jeanne,

Tears were running down my cheeks as I was reading all the losses you had in the past I'm so very sorry my condolences to you. How terrible it must of been for you losing your beloved babies and then also your sister and father. I don't even know what to say to you I'm really in shock that all this had to happen to you I don't want to imagine how hard it must of been for you losing all of your beloved love ones. if it were of been me I would of been totally destroyed by now I can't imagine how much it hurts to lose a sister an a father. Those two persons are two of the most important persons in our life's and losing them is devastating please accept my most sincere sympathy and I wish you that you are doing a bit better by now. Also I thank you for your wonderful words that you been expressing to me towards my princess yeah I know 3 months is still so fresh. But I can't help it I just miss her so much that all I want to do is go to where she is resting and take her out just to feel her body or anything that is left of her just to feel her near me. I think I'm going crazy even thought 6 days after my princess had passed away my mom brought me another baby kitten her name is Blanca. Actually Blanca is Princess sister because I was told that. I still can't help rejected her I always get confuse with Blanca being my princess because they look so much alike I just can't help it. Even-though when Blanca was brought into my life I was a bit happy to have another kitten, but I couldn't help still feeling devastated like I'm now. I see Blanca every day and just think why did my princess have to passed away if she would of been here she would of meet her sister . People been telling me that maybe princess brought her sister to me to help me feel a bit better which I'm not sure if princess did bring Blanca to me or not. Right now I don't know what to think I'm still confuse and sad.

Even-though I know Blanca is now with me and she needs me I can't help to feel sad at times Sometimes I don't want her near me all I do is to apart her from me if its possible. I now Blanca needs me I can see her and feel her she is the type of kitten that likes to be cuddling with me and be with me all the time including be with me in the bed. But it's just that I don't want her by my side if I see her there I just took her off my bed and close my room door. I don't know if maybe Blanca could feel my rejection but its really not my fault for me having this behavior. I was not the one that brought Blanca into my life after my lost was still so fresh it was my mom but I couldn't help telling her no either. All I wanted was to be happy again an I was hoping Blanca could help me, but now I see that even thought I have Blanca now I still can't help wanting my other baby and missing her. I sometimes pick up Blanca and hug her really tight and tell her I love you Blanca but in my heart I'm thinking of my princess while saying that. All this happening to me is causing me so much depression that I don't even know how to deal with it. Since Princess was my first baby kitten I don't know how to deal with a loss just yet. I don't even know how many of you are able to move on after having so many losses in your life's. I know that my princess is somewhere being happy for me that I have Blanca to make me feel just a bit better. But she needs that no matter if I get another pet she could never be replace and she will always be my first and only princess. I just wish she gave me another sign just like she did before that she is thinking of me and loves me just as much I love her. I want to feel her presence one last time I just want to know that she is still around me in spirit that would make me so happy for at least a minute but I know that she coming back in spirit is totally impossible

Oh dear Princess and Blanca's mom

Thank your for your beautiful words of comfort. yes, all those losses have almost brought me to the ground. But if one is still living, you really don't have a choice but to somehow figure out a way to be alive. Some days I am raging - at the hospice that simply let me sister suffocate (that's what they do - do not be deceived by their enticing words - NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE YOU LOVE TO BE PUT INTO A HOSPICE - MAKE THE HOSPITAL THEY ARE IN KEEP THEM). Some days I am haunted - I saw my sister, my best friend, the one whom some people took for my twin, struggle for breath and no one would do a thing for her, except tell us "Oh, that's what they do." Eventually her body became exhausted and she took her last breath. I will never forget her face as her life left her. Now there is no one with whom I have shared memories - I still have those memories but there is no to whom one I can say, "Remember the time we .....?" and have them know what I was talking about.

My father had a series of stroke but he lived for more than three years after the first one. At the time he, my middle sister (more later) and dad were all living in Minnesota - dad was living about 180 miles from the big city in which my sister and I lived. My sister has some very severe mental illnesses - personality disorders (Borderline and Narcissistic). Personality disorders are almost impossible to treat and they can be very dangerous, mostly to the people are the ill person. I had to make a choice between coming to the East Coast to help Bobbie or staying in Minnesota to help dad. Dad at least had the mentally ill sister to try to take care of him, Bobbie had husband who was totally overwhelmed and was slowly starving himself to death. (Bobbie had stage 4 colon cancer when she was first diagnosed!!) Middle Sister as she has done through out her life, took that as an opportunity for free living, moved into dad's house on the prairie and basically controlled access to him by any of the hundreds of friends he had who wanted to visit him - including me. All I could do was white daily "picture=letters" to him in 36-point type every day to either pray for him, tell him what I was doing, or thank him for something he had taught or done for me. Sister trucked him to doctors and hospitals and surgeries, all of which eventually killed him. I had the great blessing of visiting him the week before he died. I think he waited for me. I left there on a Monday and he died the following Friday. My father was the kindest, gentlest, most caring and giving man who ever lived. Everyone who met him loved him. The way my middle sister vilely hated me, I knew that if I showed my face in the town again, all the arrangement and his funeral would turn into a three-ring circus at best and nuclear war at worst. This is exactly the opposite of everything my father stood for, valued and lived by. So to honor him and not have this happen in his last celebration on earth, I made the hardest decision I have made so far in my life. I did not go - out of love and respect for my father. Princess's mom, this is like having my heart ripped out of my chest! But I am still alive and I have an obligation to make something out of my life (I'm 65 years old), so I try to go through the motions and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! I can't say I'm making any great progress again my hatred for my sister or my sadness at the passing of my sister or my father, who loved me so much and was proud of everything I did in my life. (A topic for the next message.)

But enough about me. Now about your precious Princess and little Blanca. When my Gretta died I was devastated - but my arms were empty - no one to love and hug and hold. So after only 4 months, I adopted another big dog, Rufus, a half-black lab/half newfoundland. He was different from Gretta in many ways, male, a little younger, much bigger, much more playful and, if I may say so. much more goofy. He once chased a STATUE of a rabbit. When I first got Rufus, I sat down and talked to him. I told him was definitely NOT a replacement dog, not a rebound dog after Gretta. I told him that even though I didn't know him yet, I loved him for himself and that we would find a way to be happy together. I promised him that he would never be hungry, hurt, sick without me going to get him fixed, and that I would try as hard as I could to make him happy. All he had to do was let me pet his soft, curly fur and cry into it.

Princess's mom, Blanca is like Princess, she is even related to her, but she is not Princess - just like Rufus was not Gretta. She is a kitten in her own right, as related but unique being. Cats, especially kittesn, can be very persistent, even annoying when you are trying to sleep. The only way I could get my mom's kitty out of my bed and stop her from biting my toes was to put an almost-empty can of tuna on the floor by the bottom of the bed. I worked most of the time.

Princess's mom - I'm years into the grief for Rufus and Gretta and I can tell you honestly that the hurt never does go away. Oh, after a long while there are days that go by the you don't think of it (and that only starts to happen after about a year or so), but there is always a them-shaped hole in your heart. I think that's because these very special animals, when they leave earth and go to a place I call the perfect World, they take a piece of our heart with them which they will care for until the day you join them in that Perfect World. And they leave a them-shaped piece of their heart with you to love and care for (and miss!) until that reunion. It's that hole in your heart where the missing piece is that they took with them to care for and love that continues to hurt and i expect it will for one's whole life. It isn't the agony you feel during the first few months or a year, but the deep ache never goes away. When there is another hurt in your heart, it seems to ache more.

Blanca is a new person in your life. She want to love you and she want for you to slowly learn to love her, too. NOT as a replacement cat for Princess, for in this universe there IS no "replacement" for Princess and there is no need for there to be. She IS (not "was") a completely unique cat and no matter how closely related BLanca might be to her, no matter how much they may act or look alike, each one is a completely separate being. Your love for Blanca will be completely different from your love for Princess. Please have a little talk with Blanca. Let her know that you love her and that she is not a replacement cat. That you will try to love her as best you can and that your love for her will grow as you two learn each other's ways. If she cries when you shut her out of your bedroom at night, maybe you could get some kind of a carrier for her to sleep in. She won't like it at first and you surely won't line the meaouwin gin protest, but at least she won't be all over your face. Please hold her and cuddle as much as YOUR heat will allow, knowing that she needs that to grow up right and loving. Eventually - and this is a promise - you two will come to love each other, and your love will be different from the love you have for Princess, but it will be love, nevertheless and you'll both feel protected and safe. And don't be afraid to cry into Blanca's fur and weep about how much you miss Princess. Animals know our hearts adn they know what you are going through. I sang songs about Gretta for over a year as I walked Rufus - lots of time I cried doing that and begged for Gretta to come back. Rufus understood and he stood by me. That was his way of saying he loved me for me and he knew my heart was breaking.

I hope that something I've said has touched your heart and helped you along a little with your TWO kitties: Princess and Blanca.

Love from a fellow animal lover and grieving heart.

Rufus and Gretta's mom (Jeanne)

Jeanne,

I thank you so much for having that confidence in me. By allowing you to share your experiences with me let me start out my saying to you that Im very sorry you had through experience all this. I cant even imagine how hard it must of been for you to be able to loss not only your family members, but also your beloved baby gretra. Im not sure if you are still griefing for all of this but Im let me tell you that I do admire you for being such a strong wonen an being able to move forward. I know its hard but I know that with the help of God everything is possible. Let me tell you that you will have you in my thoughts an prayers today an always hope your doing well. Thank you very much for the information an the words you been providing me. In concern to Blanca I been trying to start a new bond relationship with her but it just seems so hard with her. Like I been saying ever since I brought Blanca into my life she was just a baby. I still remember how she just to hide from all of us when she was here she was afraid for us to even per her. I remember at first she didnt have a ruff behavior. She was a very calm little kitty that always just to be sleeping, she was also afraid to be near food so we start to make her feel confident with us. She was only 1 month old when she arrive her with us. An now its been 4 months since she has been with us hopefully she gets to spend more time with us because princess didnt get to stay that long with us only 6 months. Blanca is now 4 months an she is beginning to develop a ruff behavior towards everyone in my house. At first I thought it was normal but now Im starting to wonder about this. Im trying all my best to be around Blanca but all I see is that she wants to sneak off an hide from me. I always try to cuddle with her an pet her but I just feel she avoids me an all she wants is to get off. I just feel so lonely empty eventhough I have Blanca now I still feel like Im not seeing that comfort on her. I know that she is not a replacement for princess, but I still cant help by missing my little girl.

Every time I be around blanca I want to feel her love but it seems like Im not feeling it. All Blanca tries to do us play ruff an at all times if Im in bed she bites my feet or toes an believe me it does hurt. I been telling her to stop this that this behavior is not tolerated an all she does is look straight into my eyes and then starts again. I thought that raising my voice a bit will make her stop but unfortunately it doesnt help. I know that princess an Blanca eventhough they are related they are different but my princess much more like me lovely an lazy God I miss her. Blanca is more like a ruff kitten that does love to be around people but only when she is hungry or is tired. I do get it that when Blanca came into our lifes she didnt want to be near anyone but now she is a bit older she is 4 months an I think that she already had to adapt to our family not sure why she is reacting this way. I dont know if maybe she is able to feel like I love my princess more than her, because that is not the case. All my family is very lovely to her an even tells her they love her. Im not sure if my family doing this is making me upset because Im thinking that they have forgotten about my baby because they dont even name her anymore. Im not even sure why im the only one that feels this way because I cant understand my husband or my children at first they were crying so much for my princess an now they all have seem to forgotten about her an that hurts me very much. How can anyone be able to grief so much at first an then all of the sudden not name her at all our feel sad.

I just dont understand it makes me wonder if Blanca did take away princess is place because when I just to not have Blanca here I always just to have visitations signs from my little girl an now I have nothing. It seems like my princess has forgotten about me an is abit upset with me for having her sister Blanca here with us instead of her how could this even happen. Im even wondering if other people ever get visitations or signs from their pets after they have lost them or is it possible for them to still come back and make this signs and visitations after so many years. Have you had any visitations or signs from your gretta or how are you able to began another relationship with another pet while still grief of an old one that you recently lost. I know I could start by not thinking of princess while being with her but its totally impossible not to do it since she looks so much a lot like her that sometimes I think its her still. Today I told Blanca that she looks so much like my princess an as soon as I said that she immediately took off without paying attention to me at all this is so difficult for me to handle. Have you ever had this type of situation happen to you about having a pet so much alike like another one if so how do you do it to get those feelings to stop. Im starting to freak out her an Im even afraid of my own kitten blanca because every night when I go out the bathroom she sees me with those freaky eyes an just staring at me an then imnediately opens her mouth as she was mad at me. When I see this I immeditely run inside my room because Im afraid of her reactions at night time what could be the problem dont know.

~ Mayra
.

Oh Mayra
I am so sorry you are having a hard time with Blanca. First of all, she was separated from her mother FAR too early. Eight weeks is usually considered the minimum. I don't have experience with cats, but maybe you could experiment with putting Blanca back with her mother and her litter mates and see what happens. If they get along, I would leave her there for at least a month.

This tor-biting thing is VERY irritating and I don't have a good solution for that either. I think I remember that years ago when my es-husband and me had a kitten, we put an almost empty can of tuna on the floor at the end of our bed and at least that cut down on the toe biting. I think it is something EVERY kittens does.

Mayra, please rest easy about some things. Princess and you share a special bond. I am part Native American and we call these special animals our spirit animals. I know Gretta was my spirit animal. According to our beliefs, some animals share a soul with a given person - forever - through lives, deaths, reincarnations - forever. When one's spirit animal is ready to come back to earth, s/he has to search the whole universe over until she finds the one and only person who shares her soul. When these two meet, the instant love signals that this person is the one. Isn't this amazing? This sharing of souls explains why the two develop such a strong and almost intuitive relationship while they are together on this earth - which is all the life we know about while we live on earth. Spirit animals are different. They have a spiritual understanding of their soul-mate. That's why they know when we are sad and comfort us, they know when we want to play so they play with us - that is their role - to protect and gladden their soul-mates. Unfortunately, Whoever created the universe made animals' lives much shorter than ours and they go home to their Perfect World before us. But that is really only an illusion on our part. When they leave thier physical bodies behind, they become true spirits with WONDERFUL characteristics. One of the most amazing is that they can be in two places at once - in the Perfect World AND right by our sides, on their jobs making us happy, watching out for us, guiding our steps, just exactly like they did when they shared a life with us in physical form. Please NEVER think that your Princess has forgotten you. That is impossible. Why? because when a soul-mate leaves the earth, they take with them a part of our shared soul to be with them in the Perfect World. This is why the pain of being separated from a spirit-animal never really "goes away" or as some truly ignorant people say, "get over it." Because there is a Princess-shaped hole in your soul which ache you will carry with you to the grave. It will most definitely not hurt as much as it does now, but it will also never go away, as some people say, or transform itself into happy memories of the departed. I still cry for my Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived - especially when times are tough like they are now for me. Rufus's forter mother made a beautiful picture book with photos of Rufus and the one she used for the cover looks like he could just step right out of the picture and be alive again. Sometimes I hold that book to my heart and sob outloud, call his name and beg him to come back. His death was particularly traumatic for me since he got spleen cancer almost instantly while I was half a continent away taking care of my sister and he was with his foster mom, who loved him as much as I do. Rufus died all alone at a University Vet School Clinic. No one was there to hold his giant head, no one was there to stroke his velvet ears, no one was there to tell him what a good dog he IS and how much he IS loved. (I'm crying now.)

You see that I often write to them and to my sister's dog Trevor and to a giraffe, Marius, who met a terrible end at the heinous hands of a so-called zoo keeper in the Netherlands. I often call on them for strength or help - especially Rufus, my Giant Big Black Dog. )I don't tell this to too many people - don't want to get locked up in a looney bin.) I had a very soft pillow made with Gretta's name on it and when Rufus died, I bought a small stuffed animal, a black lab, and when I feel especially bad I hug those to me and just cry it out.

Some people get appearances from their animals who have gone to the Perfect World. I saw Gretta only one, in a moment of waking, as a Golden Retriever. It was her telling me that she was still alive and OK. I have not seen Rufus since he passed two years ago. But I know they are both alive - I know this in my heart.

Back to Blanca. I do think most of her behavior issues are because she was separated from her mother too early. I would call a good vet, may the one you had for Princess and ask him or her the question and whether s/he thinks that a stint back with her mother would help her. She is clearly afraid - and who wouldn't be. It would be like a human four year old child was expected to immediately fill the role of a child who had passed away. And you see how well the foster care system works!! I'd give her some space, like you're doing. When her heart matures enough, she will realize that you love her. And maybe it will be like Gretta and Rufus (a female and a male). Gretta was the most cuddly dog there is but Rufus was too big and "manly" to do much of that. I see that same behavior in my sister's two rescued cocker spaniels: one in THE most beautiful and cuddly dog you ever saw - even gives kisses (washes your face, actually), the other came to us with the worst behavior ever, fear-biting, destroying any small thing that he could get his paws on, causing any amount of trouble. With a year of work, we finally have him down to a dull roar and reliably "dropping" things he grabs (in exchange for treats) although he sill do that only in a specific place in the house.

One thing that's very hard for humans to understand is that animals need consistency - in feeing, in walking, in schedules, in almost everything. Maybe Blanca, who is trying to follow your lead and emotions, doesn't feel secure in knowing what's going to happen next. Will she be picked up and cuddled or will she be shut out of a room? A long-term relationship with an animal depends a lot on their knowing what is coming next. Most animals are NOT our spirit animals - who instinctively understand us and immediately share our emotions.

Don't worry about your family never mentioning Princess's name. They're doing that because they're afraid it will hurt you to hear her name. Maybe explaining it to them briefly and gently that you'd rather hear it than that they act as though she'd never lived. (That's what tears up my heart about US inheritance laws, where, if a person who is supposed to inherit something but dies before the bequether, that person is treated as though s/he never existed. This has almost driven me to despair. My sister DID live and she was a BEAUTIFUL person and it is intensely disrespectful to treat her as though she had never lived. To assuage this feeling, and to try to assuage my anger at my remaining sister who is a greedy as they come and has her hooks out to get as much money from my father's estate as fast as she can. My brother-in-law and I are the two people who loved Bobbie most on this earth so I have told him that whatever I may inherit, I will split it with him half and half, so as to honor the fact the Bobbie DID live AND she was (for some very good reasons) my father's favorite daughter and it was his intention that she share in his estate, for which he slaved his whole life.

Again, way too many words, but I feell that we have important things to share with each other and I am delighted that we have established a friendship. Spirit-animals will do that! They ARE watching out for us.

Relax. Princess is right there beside you - she can see you but you just can't see her. And Blanca will be a good and loving cat when she matures a little bit and you two get used to each other.

Jeanne

Jeanne,

Thank you so much for all the wonderful help an support you are giving me. Eventhough you dont have any expert with kittens it sure seems like you do because you always know how to come up with the perfect words to say. Oh no I can never do that by taking Blanca back with her mom or siblings that will break my hear so much. I just learn to love her so much that if anything happen to her to I will be totally crush like Im with my princess now. Eventhough Blanca is having these reactions with me an the family Im going to learn to have more patience with her. Maybe its also my own fault that she is this way because everytime she wants to be with me follows me into my room day or night an what do I do is shut the room door an leave her outside. I even hear her meowing every time I leave her outside an I just don't care to hear her. An then when I do want to be by her side she just rejects me. I know that what Im doing to Blanca is making her feel bad but I just cant help it leaving her outside my room. The thing is when I want to sleep I just want to be alone an my poor Blanca is another little person that is guilty of this horrible behavior by my end. I just dont know if she knows that even thought I do this to her I still love her because I try to pet her little head rub her tummy and hold her tight an I see her with her eyes close everytime I do this to her. She even falls asleep when I hold her and go back an forth with her its like Im holding a baby I just love it. Today my little girl came up to me an out of the middle of know where she told me mom I miss princess so much. An immediately broke down into tears. My heart immediately broke down to I didnt know what to say to her she just said mommy I want to cuddle with Blanca an play with her but she seems not to want me near her. Princess in the other hand did cuddle with me all he time an just to play with me I want her back mommy :'( I didnt know what to say or how to say it its very hard to talk to children about a loss.

I know they miss princess I know I do to, but out in the middle of nothing came out these words from my little 8 year old girl. I thought that they had forgotten about princess but now I know that they havent that they she is still alive in their hearts that makes me so happy to know. Jeanne Im sorty for your losses to an it broke my heart to read everything you are telling me. But think that both your Gretta an your Rufus know that you love them an miss them so much an that soon not to far away you will be able to reunite with them dont loss hope my new friend. I really appreciate your support an kind words as always I know that my little girl is near me at this very moment as Im writing this to you an I know that she is seeing me that She is always in my mind an heart. An she kbows that no matter if we have Blanxa with us now she could never be replace she was very unique an special un her own little way as my Blanca is to us now. I really enjoy replying to you back an forth an I hope we do it often as it does seem to help to know I have other pet supporters by my side as along as I need them. Gid bless your wonderful heart Jeanne an I hope you are enjoying the rest of your day

~Mayra

Princess mommy ❤❤❤❤ ( now Blanca's mommy)

Dear Princess's mommy

Sorry I haven't had time to write for the last couple of days. Today is also a busy day - both my brother-in-law and I have doctor's appointments. I promise you tomorrow you will get a message from me. I know how hard it is to wait when your heart is breaking.

Gretta and Rufus's mom (Jeanne)

Good morning Mayra,

How are you and Baby Blanca today? What kind of night did you have? I can tell you've fallen in love with Baby Blanca because you can't bring yourself to bring little Blanca back to her mom and siblings for some more "life skills" training. That is SOOOOO good to hear.

It must have been heartbreaking to hear your little daughter telling you how much she misses Princess. Isn't it too bad that children have to have their first experience of loss so early? You try to protect them against these big life tragedies and BOOM, they hit them like they hit you. Only they are still small children without any life experience to prepare them. She has something you don't have, though - you - her mom. Someone live, on scene, to take her sorrows to. Someone to hold her and tell her that no matter how much she hurts it WILL be OK someday. ANd you have t be really tuned in to children to be able to know how much they can take of sharing and showing your own sorrow without seriously harming their sense of security. Parenthood - doesn't THAT make you grow up in a hurry!

Blanca is a baby, just like your daughter was once an infant. Her only means of communicating with you were crying and smiling or sleeping contently. Blanca is at that stage right now. Remember how hard it was when your daughter had those colicky nights, when just as soon as you thought she'd gone back to sleep and tried to tiptoe out of the room to get an hour or two of sleep, she somehow managed to hear you and started that piercing colic wail? The only thing that could comfort her - if anything - was some combination of holding, bouncing, rocking, reassuring, singing - some combination that you hit on that would soothe her.

I think maybe Blanca is doing that now. (Puppies do it, too). In the old days when I was a child we'd try to put a blanket and a ticking clock in with the puppy and hope it was soothing enough to let him sleep, but it never was. One of us kids would always sneak downstairs and pick him up and hold him in our arms until he stopped crying. And, like a colicky baby, we couldn't move without waking him up. Of course, we'd get caught in the morning, both sleeping on the floor and mom would give us a very stern scolding, but the next night we'd do it again - until the puppy's heart was sure that we loved him and his brain had matured enough to know that we wouldn't disappear in he couldn't see him.

You're a mom of an infant again, Mayra. Little Blanca is crying out of fright and loneliness. And kitty crying is THE most annoying sound there is! What to do? Could you give her another 5 minutes with you at night? Then maybe you could give her 6 minutes the next night and so on. Her brain really hasn't matured enough at 4 weeks to feel anything much more than a human infant. In a month or two or three, she WILL be the playful, cuddly cat like Princess was, It's in their nature. But right now Blanca is sad and frightened and, unfortunately, the parent has to suck it up and take care of that - temporarily. Please believe me, Baby Blanca will give it all back to you a hundredfold when she has matured a little and is sure no one is going to move her to yet another place.

Let me help you love Baby Blanca. I'll meditate hard and send her some love rays. And then I'll do what I sometimes do when someone I love is in trouble: I ask one or another of our "pack" in heaven to organize a prayer "hum" (since we don't know how animals communicate in the Perfect World) - I usually hum along with them at the appointed time and so does the animal's soul-mate from earth. Energy flows - it really does. Maybe if we did this for Blanca, who isn't that far from her life in the Perfect World - only a month on earth - it would help her feel loved and secured - and all the "momma" cats who joined the prayer hum could send her some reassurance and instructions that we as humans can only make feeble tries at. If this sound too crazy, I'm sorry. I'm really not a CRANK or some kind of NEW AGER. But we have to try anything we know to help our animals and people who are in pain, especially in the heart. Let me know if you want to organize one for Baby Blanca. Of course Princess will be the guest of honor, a give the best advice to her baby sister.

You're going to make me into a cat person after all

Have the best day possible with your two children.

Jeanne (Gretta and Rufus's mom)

Hello Jeanne,

Im so sorry Im just responding to you, but Im going through a lot lately that Im unable to log into the website. Also my internet is off right now that Im unable to use my laptop like I did into I get it back. So for now I have to use my cell to log in its not the same because in the computer everything is much better but oh well at least I can log in an reply to others here right? Thanks for taking the time to reply an also think of me an my baby Blanca. me an her are doing well just her sometimes being a little annoying but I know she is just a baby and she is getting there. Thank you for that special prayer you want to start for my baby. Yes I think it will be a great idea that makes me happy just let me know how that works ok. Yeah you dont know how much it hurts me seeing my little girl saying that she misses princess I wish their was some way I could bring princess back but I know that will never happen. We just miss her so much especially since on Wednesday is going to be her 4th month anniversary. Im just so sad since that day is approaching I dont know how to deal with it. you have been the only one since day one that has had the caring of replying back eventhough I have a lot of people viewing my post I just feel like Im not receiving the enough support as I wish I did. Maybe that is the reason I dont log in much because I feel that Im not heard much, but I really appreciate you for taking your time for those wonderful words of caring. Eventhough you were not a cat lover you told me that by me sharing you my blanca's story you are becoming a cat lover thats awesome to heard. I hope you do get a kitty they are just awesome to have. Hope your having a bless day take care.

~ Mayra

princess mommy ❤❤❤❤ (now Blanca's mommy)

My Sweet little girl princess its been a while since I wrote to you my little angel baby. Im so sorry I haven't been able to write to you but I just wanted to let you know that mommy is still devastated an hurt it just seems like it was yesterday that you were gone. Everyday is very hard to move on without you my little angel, you were my first baby an with you I learn what inconditional love is. The day is approaching which is Wednesday an you are going to have 4 months since you left us how hard it is for me because I never had the chance to say Good-bye to you. I know people are always telling me that you forgive me for everything including me not being there for you that night, but I still feel awful my little girl because of my fault you are now gone without me knowing were you are. Mommy is just worry if you are doing ok if you are receiving your favorite food, if your cold or just need mommy to bethere like I always was. Im very sad my little girl ever since you left me I have noone to talk to no one that listens to how Im feeling Im completely alone going more into a deep dark whole. If wish their was just a sign that you could show mommy to let her know that you forgive her an it was not her fault that this happen to you I miss you baby Im crying now as I'm writing this to you. My heart is just so torn I want to write something nice to you, but I dont know how my heart is still so sad because you passed away so soon. Why did I only had to share such a short time with you. it seems like we didnt have enough time to be with one another maybe that is the reason Im feeling this way my baby girl. As the days go by I see you everywhere in my eoom, under my bed, outside where you just to like to be I also like to go to the spot were I saw you for the very last time but everytime I do that my heart just drops.

Please baby girl help me feel better an be happy again an remember those short memories we had together. it seems like Im the only one from our family that misses you because it hurts me that others dont even mention you anymore because they are to busy loving the new kitty we have at home. But you know I will never forget you that mommy eventhought she has a new pet you could never be replace. you will always be my baby princess because you were my first baby an no matter what short time we had I learn to love you an we both share something special with one another. Im sorry I was not a protected mother like I should of been but I know that I did try my best to make you happy each day that you spend with me. Please take care of yourself my beautiful little angel an I hope that someday we are able to be together an love each like we did when you were in earth. Until we meet again baby love you an miss you terribly take care :'(

Good morning Princess Mommy

I am sorry you are not getting the support you need here on Lightning Strike. I know there is something wrong with the site because I had to ask for support and even when I did exactly as I
was told, I couldn't get back on. I kept getting spun around the circle Register and Log In and now I am reluctant to contact the support person again. I did manage to get on using a different
computer so here I am.

Princess Mommy, I have found that the forum "Pet Memorials, Tributes and Eulogies" doesn't get many people participating and even then not very often. Right now I think you and I and Tom's dad
are almost the only ones on this blog. You get many more responses on the "Death and Dying" section. Just a thought. Also, I will use the Message function to send you my personal e-mail and when
the site is acting up, we can use that method. I've done that with a few people here.
My heart is truly crying for you today. I know the feeling of looking at toys, water bowls, hang-out places, and just BEGGING to see your soulmate animal one more time. How many times I have sobbed
"PLEASE, PLEASE GRETTA, COULD YOU JUST COME BACK AND PLAY "WHO WANTS TO BE A WOLF" JUST ONE MORE TIME? or looking at the beautiful picture book Rufus's foster mom made for me, the one where
he looks like he could just step right out of the picture and sobbing, "PLEASE RUFUS, PLEASE, STEP OUT OF THE PICTURE JUST ONCE!" The hurt never really does go away. I spent almost every walk I took Rufus
on singing sad songs about and to Gretta. And I lose it regularly when I think of how Rufus, brave as he was in life, had to be brave in death, too, dying as he did in a vet school hospital
with me a half a continent away. IT HURTS!!


I'm happy that your baby Blanca is settling in more. Please don't worry about your not loving her as much as you did Princess. Slowly, ever so slowly, she will sneak into your heart and you into hers.

I'm going to send my message to you now. Look on the upper right on the screen and you will soon see, right under the highlighted words SEARCH and HELP, what shows there now (0 messages)
to (1 message). Click on that and it will bring you to the message section and there will be a message from me.

Gretta told me that Princess told her to tell you that every day she loves you more - it's the truth!!

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Good morning Princess Mommy

I am sorry you are not getting the support you need here on Lightning Strike. I know there is something wrong with the site because I had to ask for support and even when I did exactly as I
was told, I couldn't get back on. I kept getting spun around the circle Register and Log In and now I am reluctant to contact the support person again. I did manage to get on using a different
computer so here I am.

Princess Mommy, I have found that the forum "Pet Memorials, Tributes and Eulogies" doesn't get many people participating and even then not very often. Right now I think you and I and Tom's dad
are almost the only ones on this blog. You get many more responses on the "Death and Dying" section. Just a thought. Also, I will use the Message function to send you my personal e-mail and when
the site is acting up, we can use that method. I've done that with a few people here.
My heart is truly crying for you today. I know the feeling of looking at toys, water bowls, hang-out places, and just BEGGING to see your soulmate animal one more time. How many times I have sobbed
"PLEASE, PLEASE GRETTA, COULD YOU JUST COME BACK AND PLAY "WHO WANTS TO BE A WOLF" JUST ONE MORE TIME? or looking at the beautiful picture book Rufus's foster mom made for me, the one where
he looks like he could just step right out of the picture and sobbing, "PLEASE RUFUS, PLEASE, STEP OUT OF THE PICTURE JUST ONCE!" The hurt never really does go away. I spent almost every walk I took Rufus
on singing sad songs about and to Gretta. And I lose it regularly when I think of how Rufus, brave as he was in life, had to be brave in death, too, dying as he did in a vet school hospital
with me a half a continent away. IT HURTS!!


I'm happy that your baby Blanca is settling in more. Please don't worry about your not loving her as much as you did Princess. Slowly, ever so slowly, she will sneak into your heart and you into hers.

I'm going to send my message to you now. Look on the upper right on the screen and you will soon see, right under the highlighted words SEARCH and HELP, what shows there now (0 messages)
to (1 message). Click on that and it will bring you to the message section and there will be a message from me.

Gretta told me that Princess told her to tell you that every day she loves you more - it's the truth!!

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Good morning Princess Mommy

I am sorry you are not getting the support you need here on Lightning Strike. I know there is something wrong with the site because I had to ask for support and even when I did exactly as I
was told, I couldn't get back on. I kept getting spun around the circle Register and Log In and now I am reluctant to contact the support person again. I did manage to get on using a different
computer so here I am.

Princess Mommy, I have found that the forum "Pet Memorials, Tributes and Eulogies" doesn't get many people participating and even then not very often. Right now I think you and I and Tom's dad
are almost the only ones on this blog. You get many more responses on the "Death and Dying" section. Just a thought. Also, I will use the Message function to send you my personal e-mail and when
the site is acting up, we can use that method. I've done that with a few people here.
My heart is truly crying for you today. I know the feeling of looking at toys, water bowls, hang-out places, and just BEGGING to see your soulmate animal one more time. How many times I have sobbed
"PLEASE, PLEASE GRETTA, COULD YOU JUST COME BACK AND PLAY "WHO WANTS TO BE A WOLF" JUST ONE MORE TIME? or looking at the beautiful picture book Rufus's foster mom made for me, the one where
he looks like he could just step right out of the picture and sobbing, "PLEASE RUFUS, PLEASE, STEP OUT OF THE PICTURE JUST ONCE!" The hurt never really does go away. I spent almost every walk I took Rufus
on singing sad songs about and to Gretta. And I lose it regularly when I think of how Rufus, brave as he was in life, had to be brave in death, too, dying as he did in a vet school hospital
with me a half a continent away. IT HURTS!!


I'm happy that your baby Blanca is settling in more. Please don't worry about your not loving her as much as you did Princess. Slowly, ever so slowly, she will sneak into your heart and you into hers.

I'm going to send my message to you now. Look on the upper right on the screen and you will soon see, right under the highlighted words SEARCH and HELP, what shows there now (0 messages)
to (1 message). Click on that and it will bring you to the message section and there will be a message from me.

Gretta told me that Princess told her to tell you that every day she loves you more - it's the truth!!

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Hi Jeanne,

How are you today I hope your doing well. I want to thank you for always keeping in touch with me an being the one person on my posts that have been giving me encouragement words to help me feel better. I'm glad theirs still caring people like you that take a few minutes of their time to offer their sympathy when someone needs it the most Thank you Jeanne. I know How this thread is I do see that people do participate on the pets memorial because I do see a lot of views on my posts as well as others, but the only thing is that people are not responding usually because many of them are still hurting themselves an don't know what to say to others so normally they are quiet. But you are right theirs more participation in the pets death section because I also posted there to, but normally I don't get responses there either. if it wasn't for monique, moon beam, an vanaja for their wonderful support I will still would of felt lost an confuse. I still feel this way now because that is the reason I come to this site to try to receive understanding but it seems like don't receive much. Yes right now I'm very close to my blanca eventhough she could be ruff at times because she loves to play I still love her, an I know if anything will happen to her I will be the same as I'm for my baby princess now. My blanca is just so adorable she's starting to adapt to me she enjoys to be in my room a lot an cuddle in my bed just so sweet, but I just can't stop thinking of my princess. I miss her so much I keep getting those horrible moments of the way I fpund her an I'm immediately crying again. see I'm crying now :'( this ia just so hard to accept an I don't know how people who has lost their babies for so many years are able to be smiling again because I see many of them don't even bother loggin in anymore. Maybe their grief is better, but mine is so miaerable right now an my own family is making it even worse for me eight now all I want to do is scream ahhhhh. Can't take it anymore when does it get better I wish I could dig a whole an never come out of it. Thank you so much for those words you just told me that your baby told you about my baby princess it broughtva smile to my face just for a little bit. tell your baby to that I really love her an miss her an their is not a day that I'm not miserable without her. (((((I miss you so much princess))))) please come back to me so I can feel better

~ Mayra