Braith

Almost 3 months after my beloved Squidge passed away, another little cat walked into my life today, and I'm now her new mummy. I feel happy that I have my new baby to focus on, guilty that maybe my other cat Mitz maybe would of preferred to stay an only 'child', and i feel guilty and upset incase Squidge thinks she's been replaced cos that could never happen, I'll always love Squidge more than anyone else, and the biggest part of my heart will always belong to her. I'm so worried that my new little cat, Braith, came into my life too soon, I'm still all over the place and havent dealt with losing Squidge yet, between my baby girl passing away and last week, I have forgotten not only my late grandfathers birthday and the anniversary of his death (i ALWAYS go to his grave - esp on these dates normally), I also forgot my step mums birthday and my little brothers birthday! That is soooo unlike me!

Braith came into my life yesterday, I went back to my car after work and there was a kitten under my car (no older that 4 months old), i got her out from under my car, opened my door and she jumped into my car, i got her out of my car, shut the door and she went back under the car, in the end i sat in my car for 15 mins with the door open wondering what to do. The kitten had no collar and looked skinny and i so didnt know what to do, it hadnt looked like it had eaten in a while and also it was way too young to be out on its own - esp on a main road!!! but then an old lady walked past and she commented on the kitten, laughed at the situation (that i couldnt drive away as everytime i shut my car door, the kitten ran back under my car), she stroked it, walked off and the kitten ran along with her and she said she couldnt keep it as she'd just had to have 2 cats put to sleep and wasnt ready to have another cat yet. the kitten then vanished and i drove home, a few hours later i still couldnt get the kitten outta my mind and was worried, i drove back and it was still there and looked sooo thin and lonely, so i came back, got my best mate and pet carrier and came back, but we couldnt find the kitten. then this afternoon, i parked on the same road to go to work, i got out of my car, heard a meow and the kitten was running towards me!!! and followed me virtually into work. my bf then called me and he came and got the kitten and took it back to mine, it ate and drank LOADS!!! I dont know how long i'll be her mummy for, i think she got out of her home and travelled too far and then got lost, she's too little to be out plus she has no collar and looked like she is well looked after, but too skinny!! also the amount she ate and drank in one go as soon as my bf got her back here makes it seem like she hadnt eaten properly in a while!

Mitz didnt seem happy at first, and now keeps trying to go and sniff the kitten, but Braith keeps hissing and growling at her and she does it back! but Braith is sleeping happily enough and looks comfy and settled! x

My Baby Girl, Squidge

Well, my darling cat, Squidge, passed away on the 28th December, 2008 aged 15. What makes it worse is that she was in perfect health until someone allowed their dog to roam the neighbourhood unsupervised in March, 2008. Squidge was asleep in the garden under the window, and the alsatian came into the garden and went mad at her. I tried to get her through the window, but couldnt reach, so had to run round into the garden to get the dog away from her. The owner turned up at this point totally unfazed and with no apology. Squidge had wet herself with the fright. Also her blood pressure had gone up so high, so fast, her retinas detached and from then on she was completely blind. She was a bit up and down with coping with blindness, but was happy enough, but after the dog attack, she went downhill over the weeks and months, at one point a few months ago, shed gone so downhill, the vet almost put her to sleep, but by some miracle she got through that rough patch. Id always doted on her completely, but after she went blind, my life totally revolved around her and i did everything in my power to make her as happy as i could. At christmas she went downhill again, i thought it was only temporary and went back to syringe feeding her and liquidizing nutritional concoctions id made for her. i really did think she'd pull through again but was planning on taking her to the vets on the 29th December to see what he thought. Anyway, me and Squidge went to bed on the 27th and she was under the covers with her head poking out, cuddled up to me and i had my arm around her and was stroking her til i fell alseep, i woke up at about 2am and was gently stroking her and she was purring in her sleep. i woke up again at 7.30am, stroked her, but got no response and she didnt feel right. my baby girl had died in her sleep. i swear my heart literally broke at that moment. All everyone keeps telling me is that she was just a cat and i should be over it by now or they change the subject whenever i try to talk about her. its like noone really gets that she was not just a cat, she was by baby, best friend and kinda soul mate all rolled into one. we had been together since i was 15 when she walked into my bfs flat when i was on my own there one day, wed hardly been apart since then and since i moved out at 16, this is the first time ive been without her. I just seem to miss her more every day. and i think everyone thinks i am going crazy. i knew this would be hard, but this hurts so much more than anything else than i could possibly imagine. i do have another cat, Mitz, and i do love her to bits, but me and her arent as close as me and Squidge. my heart constantly aches and i feel like part of me is missing and my flat seems to empty and quiet. its horrible cos whenever i was upset, Squidge would come over and give me a cuddle and cheer me up, and now im upset cos i miss her i just dont know what to do x