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> Lost My Princess Cat 2 Days Ago
leejaye
post Jun 2 2011, 11:01 PM
Post #21





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 329
Joined: 13-May 11
From: sydney, australia
Member No.: 7,103



hi moon_beam, every time i visit this site i am blown away by the care and kindness i find here, it really helps so much, thankyou thankyou. I find i am having okay days, then tears from nowhere, at the strangest times, but i still have this odd sense of comfort at times, as if she is still with me, i used to tell her all about my day and whatever was going on, so at times i still find myself talking to her...strange but it seems to help...i hope all is right in your world, love to you and yours L.
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moon_beam
post Jun 4 2011, 03:03 PM
Post #22


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"i still find myself talking to her...strange but it seems to help"


Hi, Leejaye, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. It is wonderful that you still talk to your sweet Mischief, for the sound of your voice drifting upward to her in her heavenly home is still precious to her. I still talk to each of my beloved fur angels, and I feel each them fill my heart with their sweet Living Spirits. I promise you, Leejaye, your precious Mischief will ALWAYS be a part of our your earthly journey just as she always has been and always will be - - she is always a heartbeat close to you.

I hope today is being kind to you, Leejaye. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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leejaye
post Jun 5 2011, 06:12 AM
Post #23





Group: Pet Lovers
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My little belle, my girl i miss you so much tonight, my bella i want you in my arms giving me a kiss on the eyebrow like you always did when i was sad, i just miss you, i don't know how to go on without you, you were the most true, the most perfect, the most in my life, my love my girl, i MISS you, there is a great big hole where you should be, it's really big tonight and i don't know why, all i know is i want you here with me and i can;t have that, i have my memories and the privilege of the love you gave me but dammit it's not enough, i just have to make my brain realise where we are, i love you baby
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Gretta's Mom
post Jun 5 2011, 09:12 AM
Post #24





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Hello Leejaye

What a wonderful and love-filled message to your Mischief. And thank you for sharing the pictures - she's a beautiful kitty. I'vee been following your posts and, like Peggy, reading them through tears because they describe so perfectly the first few eeks after my Gretta girl passed (April 10). No one will ever have to ask me what begin shot in the heart with a rifle feels like - I KNOW - so do you - so does everyone here. That's what makes this such a miraculous, life-saving site. (I don't think we all found it by accident - those special animals guided us to it and to a community of people whose bond is the being found by their soul's other half - out of all the billions of people on the planet - and being loved and taught by them. It's amazing to me how they teach us - just by being there. Then, when they think we're strong enough = and they're always right even though we think they're SO wrong - they make us practice the art of purely unselfish love - releasing them from their earthly pain and taking it on ourselves.) I think Mother Teresa had it right when she said "God never puts on me more than I can bear, but I wish He didn't think I was so strong."

Love never dies - never. Right now it's changed form and it hurts A LOT! Maybe it's a lesson in faith - that of course animal and human souls are all the same "stuff" and of course there is a perfect world where we all go from this earth. Think what this would be like if we didn't have that thought! I know Mischief is watching over you and guiding you - and bragging to everybody else there that HER mom is the best!

Your story about sleeping with Mischief's blanket reminds me of what I did the first night Gretta wasn't with me. I took two of her snowsuits (it's cold in MN) and velcroed them together and hugged it and used it as a pillow for a couple of nights. Then even that wasn't close enough so I slept for a week or son on her dog bed (it was a large, therapeutic bed - I almost fit!). It's a darn good thing I have my Lightning Strike friends to tell this to - otherwise I'd probably be told to go on short-term disability and go straight to the psych ward. Just for acting normal.

My hope is for a few tiny moments of peace for you today, Leejaye.

Gretta's mom
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leejaye
post Jun 6 2011, 06:14 AM
Post #25





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 329
Joined: 13-May 11
From: sydney, australia
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Hey Gretta's Mom, Thankyou so much for for the exactly right thing again, I fell in a hole last night and needed to tell someone, her, really, although i guess she knows, i would be lost without this place and the compassion and kindness of people like you, thankyou for sharing snowsuits and bed, i only stopped sleeping with her stuff last week, and still hug her blanket - i remember washing it with some smelly fabric softener once, poor girl smelt like "exotic summer" for 2 days til i washed it again!...even though my partner is home, i really don't want to make his grief worse, he's trying really hard but are at different places in the grief journey and he has added guilt about not being here that last week...i said to kayla's mom a while ago that i wanted to scream, this place lets me do that, and someone always hears it, thankyou again, I hope you and Rufus are getting to know each other, please let us all know how you are going!? love to you both L
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kaylasmom
post Jun 6 2011, 05:09 PM
Post #26





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From: maryland
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Hi leejaye,

I sure understand that urge to scream! I'm sorry that you and your partner aren't able to fully grieve together, being at different stages in the process. My husband and I are dealing with that issue as well. Every time I try to talk to him about Kayla, to express my feelings, I get "how do you think I feel? At least YOU got to say goodbye". He has major guilt feelings for not being home when we needed him. I guess we just need to give them time and space to deal in their own ways in their own time but it really sucks not being able to share with the one person who knew Kay almost as long as I did. I got her a few months before hubby and I got together, I used to tease him that she had seniority!

I hope today was better for you.

Be good to yourself.

Shelby (Kaylasmom)
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leejaye
post Jun 16 2011, 08:10 PM
Post #27





Group: Pet Lovers
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Joined: 13-May 11
From: sydney, australia
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My darling princess, it's one month, one week and one hour since i had to let you go, it's a blink of an eye and an eon too, i miss your purrs and bunts - those special little head butts you'd come up and give me for no reason other than to say "Here I am and I love you", i miss you sitting in your garden chair snuggled up in your blanket in the sun watching whatever i was doing, i miss you sniffing my glass of wine and making the most appalled face "What are you drinking?!" you'd say, i miss that big meow you used to make when you thought i wasn't paying attention - your dad thought it sounded like you were saying (yelling) "Mum", i miss your calmness and your courage, i miss your beauty - shallow i know, but you were so lovely just looking at you lifted my spirit, and you little soul is just as lovely, i think that's what makes you so beautiful, i miss so many many things, but thankyou my girl for coming into my life and staying so long - thankyou for all these beautiful memories, they make me cry but i wouldn't have missed them for anything, you gave me so much and really made my world and me into something better, I love you Mischief Angel Girl.
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Ollie's Mama
post Jun 17 2011, 02:39 AM
Post #28





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From: California
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Oh, leejaye, what beautiful pictures of your baby girl! Thinking of you tonight and hoping you are doing okay.

Love,
Terri
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Gretta's Mom
post Jun 19 2011, 08:33 PM
Post #29





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Hi Leejaye

Thank you so much for sharing the exquisite pictures of your Mischief. what a great name for a kitty! And what a great and insightful thought - that Mischief is in her kitten body now. Oh, Leejaye that is SUCH a comforting thought - that my Gretta, who had such a horrible life when she WAS a puppy, is now having her go at puppyhood - and in the Perfect World.

This site is full of extraordinary and rare people - those who have been sought out and found by the one special animal in all the univers who is their "other half", their soulmate. As Moonbeam put it once, they carry a part of our souls with them and we carry a part of theirs with us. That's why love IS forever - no beginning and no end. One day we, too, will be in our Child bodies again, romping and playing and loving and being loved - and this time with no separation.

I can empathise with your sleeping with MS Mischief's blanket. The day after Gretta's passing, I velcroed two of her snowsuits (it's cold in MN) together to make a little pillow to sleep on. At least it was something of hers. After a couple of nights it wasn't enough so I slept on her dog bed (it's a big, orthopedic one so I almost fit). I was perfectly prepared to do that for the rest of my life if I had to (I'm a solo, so there's no other human around to say WHAT!!!!!!!).

Our spirit animals are with us, even though we can't see them or hear them or touch them. But sometimes we feel their breath on our face and even oftener, we continue to be guided and taught by them - if we pay attention. My Gretta saw me with all the love in my heart and no one to give it to here on earth, so she sent me a "younger brother" - a black lab-Newfie - a beautiful 8-year old, happy-go-lucky "lug". He, too, was a rescue dog and he came with the perfect name, Rufus. This weekend my elderly dad helped me try him off leash in a baseball diamond in a local park by standing in the "door" of the outfield fence while I played fetch with Rufus- to make sure he wouldn't sneak away.

Mischief is taking good care of you - just like always. You'll never go too far astray! It sure is a comforting feeling to know that.

Your LS friend,

Gretta's mom

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leejaye
post Jun 22 2011, 06:47 AM
Post #30





Group: Pet Lovers
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Joined: 13-May 11
From: sydney, australia
Member No.: 7,103



Hi All, Gretta's Mom again you say just the right thing, I have a really strong sense my girl is with me, I still have tears, and still hug her blanket in the day sometimes, but am starting to smile around the tears...some things i still can't do - we liked to watch old movies on a lounge on a cloudy weekend afternoon, haven't been able to do that (and it's winter here so lots of ordinary afternoons perfect for a blanket and an old movie)...the last one we watched was an old Cary Grant one, An Affair to Remember, seems appropriate now - they love each other, they lose each other, they find each other - I know I'll find my girl again one day...so happy to hear that Rufus is settling in and making his space in your heart (Kinda actively from the sounds of his computer intervention!) hope your world is good!
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Cheryl83
post Jun 22 2011, 07:32 AM
Post #31





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Dear leejaye,

Just reading through your journey again, and I could have sworn that I'd posted a message in your thread, but I now see that I haven't. I remember being touched by your story, and the love you have for your baby girl, and I remember being astonished by how beautiful she is (she really is one of the most stunning looking kitties I have EVER seen -- so girly and pretty looking). I think what must have happened was that I started to type a reply, but then deleted it, because I just couldn't find the right words. Sometimes that happens. I'm sure you understand how it is.

Well, I just want to say that my heart goes out to you. I'm sorry you're still hurting so badly. This is a long, difficult journey that we have to go through, a journey which has no real destination. We are constantly adjusting and adapting to our new lives without our babies physical presence -- constantly trying to establish 'who we are' now without them physically here. But I promise you, the pain does ease in time. You will never stop missing your darling girl, but we reach a stage in the journey where we feel a kind of peace. I'm just over the 1 year mark now, and I promise you, that although right now you might think you will never get there, you will. I started to think of my baby's passing as a 'transition' and not as a death. Love cannot die. I started to feel her presence so strongly, and I realized that a part of her will always be with me. And then I came to believe that I will be reunited with her for all eternity, when it's my appropriate time. I hope you can find some comfort in this.

We are all here for you, leejaye, every step of the way.

Thinking of you and wishing you well -- Cheryl xx


--------------------
It broke our hearts to lose you, but you didn't go alone,
For parts of us went with you ... the day God called you home


My beautiful Angel, Daisy - I will love and miss you forever xx
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leejaye
post Jun 23 2011, 07:07 PM
Post #32





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 329
Joined: 13-May 11
From: sydney, australia
Member No.: 7,103



Hey Cheryl, Thanks for your lovely words - you hit the nail on the head, it is an adjustment process, isn't it? There have been days where i don't even feel like the same person i was before i lost her, i guess just the process of reorienting my world in action...it's not easy, but getting easier, and strangely enough, I was sitting on our lounge (Missy and I had a little reading room at the back of the garage- comfy lounge, tv, heater and books) trying out a new heater and i really felt like she was sitting behind my legs, i really felt like she was there - and then i came inside and read your post, you are right, love does not die, you guys all have such wise and kind words and thoughts, thankyou again for helping me along the road, hope you have a great day
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moon_beam
post Jun 25 2011, 04:22 PM
Post #33


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Hi Leejaye, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for the WONDERFUL pictures of your precious Mischief. I do so understand how painful it is "adjusting" to the absence of your precious Mischief's physical presence. But the GOOD NEWS is that we do have the blessing of their sweet Living Spirit forever with us continuing to share our earthly journey as they always have and always will.

Leejaye, I hope life is treating you kindly, and that each day is bringing you closer to filling your heart with peace and comfort. We are always here for you, with you, and beside you through every step of your grief "adjustment" journey. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Leejaye, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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leejaye
post Jun 27 2011, 03:26 AM
Post #34





Group: Pet Lovers
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From: sydney, australia
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My darling princess cat I guess you know you have a new little brother, because I think you have been whispering in his ear, helping him settle in...I really felt you here last week just before Purszi arrived and that sense is still with me, I swear I felt you sitting with me again last night and tonight. My precious girl I still miss you and all your special little lovey ways, but your new little brother is reminding me of all sorts of things about when you were a kitten, and they make me smile my girl, I will love you forever my sweet love.
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moon_beam
post Jun 27 2011, 04:09 PM
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Hi, Leejaye, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for sharing your heartfelt letter to your precious Mischief. Please know that your precious little girl is so very happy that you have a new little furchild in your heart and home - - and please know that your precious Mischief is indeed with you and Purszival gently coaching him how to bring joy into your heart and life.

Leejaye, I hope today is being kind to you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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leejaye
post Jul 7 2011, 08:24 PM
Post #36





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My Mischief Love, Two months without you in my world girl, how is it possible, I miss you so much, I lost a part of myself the day you left and I don't think I will ever be the same. I just want to look into your beautiful eyes again while you tell me everything is ok and you love me - I miss that look so much princess, no matter how bad things felt you were always there making me smile and making me believe in the good stuff, you helped me so much in so many ways my girl, it's really been a a struggle without you here, my beautiful brave girl. I will love you forever sweetheart, and I will miss you for the rest of my life...
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ChrisL
post Jul 8 2011, 04:12 AM
Post #37





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I've been meaning to tell you that in the photos you have posted of Mischief she looks strikingly like my "other" cat, Violet. She lives with my mother, having come into our lives when I was a junior in High School. Loki just had the honor of meeting her (I'm not so sure he thought so -- I think he's scared of girls) when I took him up there for a couple days.

A word I've been thinking of a lot lately is "beatific". It basically means blessed or bestowing blessings, but to me it carries a connotation of having been raised to a higher plane, whether simply in our memories or in some other sense. This is how I think our furry friends become when they move on, they get beatified, taking a sacred place in our memories. It seems the beatification of Mischief is well underway.

Peace,
Chris

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leejaye
post Jul 8 2011, 06:59 AM
Post #38





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My bella mischief, I saw you this afternoon my love, only briefly but clearly, sitting at the bottom of the stairs when i was at your grandma's house, and for a moment i felt the peace i was missing this afternoon, thankyou my love for letting me know you are still loving me, and still looking out for me.
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LoveMyMickey
post Jul 29 2011, 06:08 PM
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Oh leejaye, I am so sorry. I thought I had posted on this thread. I must have been thinking about your "new beginning" thread I had posted on. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Mischief. I love all the pics you posted. She is a beautiful cat. Stumps is kinda' cute too. smile.gif

It is so comforting when we see or hear our angel furbabies or see them in a dream. I do hope you feel better as time goes by......Give sweet Purszi a pet for me.

Hugs...

LoveMyMickey


--------------------
"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
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leejaye
post Jul 29 2011, 06:45 PM
Post #40





Group: Pet Lovers
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Joined: 13-May 11
From: sydney, australia
Member No.: 7,103



Dear LoveMyMickey, Thankyou so much for your kind words - I still miss my girl but it's getting easier, and at times I have such a stong sense that she is still with me, I think that the love and bond everyone on this forum shared with their furry souls can never be broken...Stumps still turns up looking for Mischief and food, it's funny, Mischief and Stumpy would sit on our back deck quite companionably but Purszi terrifies him and he takes off for the nearest tree!! Hope the world is kind to you today, hugs and Purrs from Leejaye, Purszi and Mischief
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