My little girl died the last week in February. It's been a little over a month and I'm still mind-numbingly depressed over it. I haven't talked to it much to anyone other than my boyfriend who, besides my dog, is my best friend. He's helped me so much.

Her name is Bobo and she's my wonderful mixture of the unknowable. She's a mutt with no determinable background, and unique through and through. I was 3 years old when I found her. My first dog, Ace, was a breeding boy we rescued. Unfortunately he was aggressive so we had to give him away. At the same time my grandfather died. My mother wanted to make it up to me, so one day after she took me to Toys R Us, we stopped at the SPCA. Being as little as I was, I went into an employees only back room where I found a white, wirey haired dog with a litter of very new puppies! There was one puppy with a black mark around her tail and butt that made me giggle. She was all white except for her black butt mark, a black pathc on her eye and little black spots on her ears. I told my mom that I wanted that dog.

A few weeks later my mom took me back and told me to stay in the car. When she came out she put a blanket on my lap...that moved! Wrapped up in a soft pink blanet was 8 week old Bobo. I named her after a song I heard on a children's show I can't quite remember today. I was so happy! She was so gentle and calm, and smaller than my mother's shoe (I have a picture of this at home). She came in, claimed a pillow I put on the floor by her, took a crap on it, and fell asleep. It still makes me laugh.

I'm an only child, and it was just my mom and I. She wasn't around too much because she was always working. She worked night shift so she could be home during the day. But at night I had Bobo who traveled with me to my other family members when we weren't at hom. She was always the most well behaved dog. She was meek, loyal and completely loving. The way she daintily moved her paws up and down in a giddy fashion was her signature happy dance. When she wasn't content with you she'd turn away from you and use her peripherals. She'd wake up during the night and snoop, but when my mom said, "Go wake the kid!" She'd dash into my room and on my bed to wake me up.

She was the kind of dog you didn't need a leash for. My bus stop was at the end of my street, and my mom and her would wait for me to get off the bus and watch from our house. Bobo would run full speed down the street to meet me and then frolic around me until I got home. I used to save some of my lunch every day for her.

She was my best friend for so many years and really understood the companionship I needed. She was there when I got my first B (which was a tragic thing for a 7th grader at the time), and we there when I first fell in love and had my heart broken. She was there when my mom got cancer, and was there when she went crazy with her bi-polar disorder. And I won't even get into menopause. I can't entirely blame my miserable teen years on being a teen! She was the most precious animal I'd ever known.

I moved out when I was 18 because my relationship with my mom deteriorated. It was unhealthy for me to stay there. It got to the point where she threw away my college acceptance letters and told me I'd, "Failed at life, and will never get anywhere. No one wants you at their institution." Sadly I couldn't take her with me. I was in the same town and visited almost every single day. Leaving her was the hardest thing I had to do, but I know she'd have understood. I always came with treats and toys and lots of love. I spent whatever time I could visiting. I got my life on track, got into one of the great schools my mom prevented me from and then left for it.

During the last two years Bobo was sick. She had several tumors growing under her skin on her neck, back and sides. I am greatful they never caused her pain. She was still active and "amazingly spry" at her age. As a young dog she got sick, had a high fever, and got liver damage. Our vet said she wouldn't live to be 10. 10 years came and went, and so did 15 years, and 18 years. She had a huge heart and an amazing will. Her last few months she was up and down. She was blind in one eye, and it was harder for her to move about on colder days. The last year I was home I carried her up and down every stair in our house, when she went outside and when she came to bed with me at night. Sometimes I'd wake up early and bring her into bed so she could lick me and smack me in the face with her ears. There were moments in the last months when she couldn't walk at all. My mother would call me at school and say, "We need to put her down." I would cry, agree, and come in to spend the day with her before we took her to the vet. And every time, as soon as she heard my voice, she'd get up and walk. And then she'd be fine. We'd have made her a steak thinking it would be her last meal, she'd scarf it down happily, follow me around, wiggle her butt, and bring over a toy. We couldn't help but think maybe she was putting on the act to get me home and get a steak! ::laugh::

One day she was very lethargic and sick. I was at school and had no idea. My mother decided to make the choice without me and take her to the vet to put her down. I had resigned to do it 4 or 5 times since the summer, but she kept bouncing back. I'd never keep her in pain, but when she was happy, and bouncing? I couldn't, and neither could my mom. I prayed, often, that when she died, she would go on her own, and go peacefully. She would sleep and not be alone. I hoped my mom would be there if I wasn't home at the time. I hoped our other dog, Attila, would be with her.

I talked to her about it. I'd say, "Girl, if you're tired you can go. I want you to leave me peacefully. I don't want you to be afraid of the needle. I don't want you to be in an office. I want you to be comfortable and at home with those who love you." I think she knew and understood. When my mother wrapped her up in a blanket, just the way she had given her to me, and put her in the front seat, Bobo (according to what my mother said) curled up smaller than she had ever seen her, and died. She never made it to the vet. It makes me wonder if she knew and just let go.

However, my trust for my mother is minimal. My first gut reaction was that she had her put down, in a cold vet office, on a steel table, without me there. My mom didn't tell me until a few days later either. She called my boyfriend and told him to handle it with me. Bobo was in a freezer at the vets, and would have to wait a week to be sent with a shipment of other animal bodies. Arrangements to her body also weren't met. I wanted her privately cremated. My mom set it up, but not correctly. I told her to call the vets office, ask them if it's private, ask them where she was being cremated, and if we could be present. I am completely aware of the scams with pet crematories and I know what to look for so I don't get robbed of my little girl. My mom asked and the vet had lied. She was going to be sent with a pile of other dogs to be cremated together and the ashes would not be returned to me. They would be put into a landfill.

Thankfully my mother drove there and got Bobo's body back (the only good thing she did for this entire situation). My Aunt Lisa said I could bury her with her dogs in her yard in NY (about 4 hours from us). I love her yard and Bobo did too. I know it really shouldn't matter but she'd have been buried near two of her dog friends, Bob and Kayla, who were dogs of my Aunt's. My mother, instead, buried her in a very dank, dark, area of our year. We have a fence that goes along side our house about 3 feet from the wall. No sun reaches there and no grass grows. It's dirt and rocks. I am still VERY VERY upset about it. If I had to bury her, I wanted her in the sun, where she liked to lay. Somewhere grass grows and I could plant flowers. Somewhere nice. But she doesn't have that. I know my mom felt bad, and offered to dig her up, but that's just NOT RIGHT. I couldn't dig up my little girl for my own selfish comfort. My boyfriend was kind enough to offer to do it if I could not confront her body. Even offered to go to the crematory (had it worked out) to make sure it was her and that I got her ashes. But I would never dig her up. She was put to rest in a place not worthy of her, and somehow I will have to accept that. It's only the body left. At least my mother clipped some hair from her white and black patches for me to put in a locket.

I'm still depressed. My jaw locks in pain, I haven't slept well. Almost every night I have bad dreams where some sort of aweful, violent thing has happened to her, but she still gives me her loving expression! I have tried to set to work on her tombstone, but I can't. I can't focus on getting work done (and this is really bad for me) and I'm never happy or satisfied with anything. My boyfriend is the only one who knows this. I try not to worry anyone. I don't talk to my mom about it either. She does wrong by me very often, but I know she tried to do right as well. I know when mother's fail their children they die a little inside. She's hurting from losing Bobo too. I don't want to start the anger blame game. Bobo is gone, and I can't keep her or her body with me. Just some fur.

Very long story there, congrats if you made it! Bobo was so close and important to me. She was an old girl and had a very, very long life. I'm so glad I had her as long as I did. I only wish I could keep her forever. She has been with me almost 2 decades, and carrying on without her furry little happy dance, patched butt, and head nuzzle is hard. Even since I moved out 2 years ago it feels odd being on a computer without a furry little body to hide my feet under.

Any words of advice on how to cope is greatly appreciated. Once I have time I plan on getting some greif counseling from my school. Not being able to sleep well, nightmares, constant exhaustion, depression and being unhappy with life in general is weighing on me. It's weighing on my great boyfriend too! He gets sad and feels helpless when he can't protect me. I want to feel normal again and I don't want anyone to worry. Once I am in a single place and have the time, I most certainly want to rescue a dog. I babysat one for a week over spring break, and it eased my heart a little being about to make a dog wag.

I miss my little girl very much. My icon is of her during her last summer. And the picture in my signature are of her and I over the summer before we went for a walk together, and the other on a boating trip when I was about 6 years old.

Bobo is irreplaceable. I'll never find a dog so giving and loving and pure spirited like her again.

I hope this makes sense. It was hard to type. I haven't talked or typed about everything.

I'm so sorry for your terrible loss. I cried when I read your story - she was such a beautiful dog! The situation for you is extremely painful and it will probably take time. I am thinking with all of the "false alarms" she gave (which my Kirby kind of did, too - just when we thought he was ready to go, he would rally back) there are probably a lot of effects from the anticipatory grief that you went through. This protracted stress probably really has a huge effect on you. You are lucky you have someone who cares about you and supports you during this time. That, of course, doesn't bring Bobo back, but it is really important for you. Also, if you are able to get grief counseling that would be a great idea. I wish I could do that.

I understand what you are saying about where she is buried, but more important than that is the complete love you gave her for her whole life. It sounds like you gave her an amazing life.

You're in my prayers.

I too am still crying from reading your story. What a beautiful strong human being you are. I feel so bad for you with the difficulties as well as all the grief for your sweet sweet Bobo. I have a less than perfect relationship with my own mother as well, it can hurt so much, I remember the time with one cat just put to sleep and the other very sick she kept advising me to let the sick one go and when I wasn't making the appointment, she (and even my significant other at one point) kept at me to do it!! But in my case, I had total control so I can't really blame anyone else, I was still the boss. In your case, it must be so so so hard not to unleash anger and yet you are being so so so good. You're just beautiful, inside and out. Just a thought but perhaps you would find soothing to add to and improve where Bobo is, with a few beautiful plants that can stand the shade? Where my cats are, deep among the trees in the back of our yard, I planted a type of bleeding heart that thrives without much sun and blooms all summer. I also placed a marble plate on top of the grave and added about a foot of earth on top. I mixed spices with the soil so that it would smell sweet. I shall be adding to these shade loving plants as time goes by, I often throw some forget -me-not seeds on the ground and feel that if ever one of them blooms it will give me much pleasure. I have put some tiny straw angels on the branches of the trees above, hardly noticeable to anyone else but sometimes the sun shines in such a way that one angel seems to wave hello to me
from where I look out at my kitchen window. So it might be therapeutic for you to put in a few plants and make where Bobo is a very different place, just a suggestion. If you do follow through and you buy a few potted plants, make sure they are already of a fair size because plants that grow in the shade grow more slowly.
In case you are interested there is a wealth of info on the net here is just one link
http://www.backyardgardener.com/linda/shadeflowers.html
You take care and continue being the wonderful beautiful self sufficient loving person that you are. I am glad your boyfriend is there with you. May Bobo's love keep you
glowing with all the beauty that you have become and will continue to be.

Thank you for sharing your story of Bobo with us. I am deeply sorry for your loss of your beautiful furbaby. Your story was so touching, and Bobo sounds like an amazing girl. How fortunate that she found such a nice person to adopt her. She sounded like she loved life and fought through her health issues.

I wish I had the words to make you feel better. But I think you are on the right track opening up and sharing your story here. Grief is a path that is hard to follow. You will have your good days and rough days. Bobo left you with so many wonderful memories. And in time you will think of her and smile. Just remember that she wouldn't want you to be sad. In time you will be able to celebrate her life and all that she taught you.

As I write this I am thinking of my girl Lizzy. I only had her for 9 1/2 yrs. and lost her to cancer in Oct. She loved life and still played like a puppy. The day before she died she was chasing her ball and swimming. But that night she grew very weak and I knew it was time. It was incredibly painful to say goodbye at the vets office. I did have her cremated and her ashes are in a beautiful wooden box. The front of the box holds a picture of her outside in the sunshine. I cherish the memories we shared together.

Since then I've adopted a lab pup (Mandy) that joins my other lab (Elly). Mandy came into my life like a ray of sunshine. She's brought much joy back into my life after losing Lizzy.

May you find peace and comfort, and know that Bobo will always be in your heart forever.

After reading your lovestory of how you and Bobo grew up together last night I found myself completely emotionally exhausted. It was like reading a fairytale that came true for a little girl and a young puppy. The treasure chest of memories you and Bobo made together is so full of love that just overflows. Those cherished memories are what keeps us connected to our loved ones. Your heart and Bobo's became one on the day you met. That love connection can never be broken neither here on earth nor in heaven.

When my Goliath passed away so suddenly 5 months ago, part of me felt as though I had died too. Since I had just returned from the emergency hospital with him, where they sent me home and said he would be just fine, I was feeling relief as I held him in my arms. Not long after we were home we were sitting by the firplace and I knew something was terribly wrong. I held him like a human baby and as he looked deeply into my eyes and I looked deep into his we both knew the angels were standing near. As I felt the precious life I was holding in my arms slip away, I could feel the life leaving me as well. In a very short amount of time he was gone. I tried to breath life back into his tiny helpless body and gave him CPR. I prayed that God would please take me instead. The angels had already taken Goliath back to heaven from where he came. Though I knew Goliath was in heaven, I felt like I must have died too, except I was in hell. And that is where I spent the next 2 months in pain, agony, despair and hopelessness.

In January I found this site. When I first came in I felt an auro of emptiness and death. I made a cry for help and a beautiful woman named Judy responded within minutes. Her profound love for all God's living creatures in her reply was so genuine and loving. She touched my heart in such a special and loving way that I
will never forget. This exchange of my cry and her words of love began to heal my aching heart. The journey of healing had begun.

Though Bobo's body may not have been put to rest where you would have chosen, you can find comfort in knowing that Bobo's soul is soaring amongst the angels in heaven. His spirit lives in your heart forever. Where else can such a love be?

Bobo's death is far to recent for you to be feeling anything but depressed. The rollercoaster of mixed emotions felt after the death of someone so loved is unbearable. It takes time for those ups and downs to calm down where we can then feel less anxiety and depression. Recovering from such a heartbreak is no easy task. Had it not been for the wonderful people who come to this site with their words of encouragement and understanding, I would still be in stuck in that deep dark place of hell.

The people who come here all have suffered a tremendous and heartbreaking loss of a furlove. By exchanging our thoughts and feelings with each other through our replies we help in the healing of each other. We cry together and also laugh together. Over the last 3 months since I came here I have grown much through the inspiration, love, understanding, and encouragement they have given me so freely. We all walk together in the long journey of grief down a road that leads us toward peace and happiness again. Our hopelessness turns to hope. My faith has been restored in that I can go on living a meaningful and fulfilling life, where I have many happy memories yet to make. Goliath wouldn't want it any other way.

One day Goliath and I will reunite again in heaven where we will spend eternity. My love for him and his love for me will last til the day after forever. My treasure chest of the memories he and I made together will carry me until that day comes. In the meantime Goliath is alive and well in my heart. He left me far more than grief when he left this world.

May you be blessed with the comfort and peace you so desperately seek, as you suffer the painful loss of your beloved Bono. Keep coming back and sharing your stories, your feelings, as well as your hopes and dreams.

HUGS of comfort and love are sent to you from the innermost place in my heart, where Goliath lives and loves.

Oh- what a story! I am so sorry for your loss of Bobo. Bobo was with you for most of your life. I lost my dog, Duffy, in September and he was with me for half of mine. I started to feel like I really could not even remember life before him. I know that it is so fresh right now and I would love to tell you that it will go away but the pain does grow dimmer and soon we are able to laugh when we think of the good times. Grief counseling is a brilliant idea and it is probably the best step for you to start your healing process. Interacting in these forums will help, as well, and to a lesser degree, can be considered some part of grief counseling. We all learn something from each other here and we can all empathize with the grief that you are going through because we are there, ourselves. For most of us, posting pictures and narratives helps us to share our memories and in some way, pay tribute to these beautiful souls who changed our lives forever. The best thing about this forum is the interchange we have with people who understand the significance of sharing our lives with animals and the unconditional love that we receive from them-a truth that seems somewhat scant in our society and a taboo to talk about in social circles. Many of us find other family members and friends are not able to understand that the grief that we have for the loss of an animal is painful. It is here where we are understood and it makes a big difference.

So, I welcome you here and I wish it were under better cir%%stances but I hope that you find peace here and know that you are welcome to share and heal with us.

Thank you to everyone for their words. I do appreciate it very much. I am new to pet loss, other than my Aunt's dogs (she is a laborador nut ), and I found myself taking it much harder than human loss I have encountered. I feel extremely lucky to have my boyfriend willing to do anything to make me feel better. Last night I talked to him about how I was feeling and just told him things about Bobo that I know I've talked to him before about. The last time I saw Bobo was a few days before she died. I came home on a weekend from school. She was in a little bit of trouble for trying to get at the new Koi my neighbor added in hid pond, and was a little smelly from the water. I had gone on an errand to get my grandmother some groceries, and I accidentally got a quarter pound more of as cheese than she had asked. So, with that extra quarter pound her and I shared some cheese together and also with our other dog Attila. My mother called and cursed me for the doggy fart she had the deal with the rest of the night. ::laugh::

I do have so many good memories. When I think about them, I do laugh and smile, but right afterwards my heart sinks. Last night I curled up next to my boyfriend, and as comforting as he was I was wishing my white girl was sprawled out next to me instead.

For her grave I got a very long and narrow cut stone which is unpolished, that I lying in the living room in my apartment back home. I designed a really pretty picture of my giving her a hug, and with her with wings. It's lovely, but it's been so hard to work on her stone. Within about 5 minutes of beginning to transfer the sketch or prepare the paints, my eyes get clouded with tears and I can't keep my hand steady. I feel bad I can't get it done sooner. When I come home on some weekends, it's for a doctor's appointment, seeing family or just a break from work. If I start working on it when I get home, I get into a slump and end up drained before I go back to class. I did go out a buy a little plastic white fence for around her area, and I bought a couple votive lights. I picked up a little garden statue rock that has "Love" carved into it. I will definitely look into some shade plants to put there as well. I hadn't really thought of doing that. My boyfriend's response was, "If your mom will let me, I can rip out the fence there and close it on another area so it can get sun."

I miss her terribly. I see her in every happy faced stuffed animal I have. Out of the corner of my eye I think I see her.

I really appreciate the words, and it does make me feel a little better. I know that not having a furry critter in my life is something I don't ever want. I have been spoiling my other dog when I come in because he is still horribly depressed.

Thank you again for all of your concerns and words. I know it's going to be hard for quite a long time. I'm just desperate for balance with my sadness and my school work. Staying above a 3.6 can be hard, since it is mandatory for graduate school. I try to focus because I know Bobo wouldn't want me to throw away my opportunities to cry for her. When I have time in my schedule I do plan on looking into our campus counseling and see if they have any good methods of coping.

Thank you everyone.

What a beautiful dog Bobo was. And how amazing she lived till she was 18. That's so unusual for a dog. She must have had a true love for life and such a strong heart to have lived for so many years, and clearly that's down to you; you had such a fantastic relationship with her.

I can relate to how you felt being forced to move out and leave Bobo behind. My dog, Bono was also a gift for me from my parents (who I also have a strained relationship with) when I was 14. Bono was an adorable 8-week-old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppy. We went on walks every day, he was there for me through thick and thin, the same as you, when my mother had a brain hemhorrhage and became increasingly ill, my first love, first heartbreak, the ups and downs of teenage life and all the rest. But, when I was almost 19, I was accepted into University (College) 80 miles from home. This meant I had to live 5 days a week in the city where my studies were based, but I travelled home to see Bono the remaining 2 days a week. Still, it broke my heart to see his sad brown eyes watching me pack my bags and leave every Sunday evening, and it made me so excited seeing him bouncing around me like crazy when I returned home every Friday evening. This went on for 2 and a half years.

Eventually, half way through my final year, when Bono was 6, my relationship with my parents had got so bad, it was also unhealthy for me to keep returning home at weekends. So I took Bono, and we moved away permanently, and I finished my studies, graduated from College, and got a job. Life was great, away from my family, and once again living every day with my lovely Bono, who slept on my bed every night; he was treated like a prince.

But by that stage, Bono had been diagnosed with terminal heart disease, and I was told he'd be lucky to see his 9th birthday. I almost bankrupt myself for treatment for him, but only days short of my 23rd birthday, at the tender age of 8 and a half years, Bono slipped into heart failure and he died.

I had nowhere to bury him, I knew I'd be moving from the house I was living in, and there are no pet cemetaries where I live. So I was forced to have him cremated. Bono hated being too hot, and ... well, it tortured me, but I had no choice. I have his ashes in a personalised urn in my family room.

That was 18 months ago, and still my heart breaks every day for him.

You are still in the early stages of your grief. And these are the hardest months. It does get easier. But you never get over your loss. You'll miss her for the rest of your life.

As for advice on how to cope, I have Bono's photos all over my home, I made a photo album, complete with poems I wrote about him and all the best photos I have of him, I have his ashes in a personalised urn in my family room, a clipping of his fur, alongside his collar, which still has some of his hair attached to it. I come to this website almost every day I can ...

For my 23rd birthday gift, only 2 weeks after Bono died, my fiancé bought me an almost identical Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppy - Nieko, who, along with my other pets, have helped me cope ...

I am very sorry for the loss of Bobo; she was beautiful. x

What a beautiful tribute your story-telling of Bobo is. Including the one about sharing cheese with her.....

18 years......it is never long enough, is it? If it was up to us and up to our special ones, we would never let them go. But then we would never know the ones who came afterwards..who did need a home and love and was anxious to give their unconditional love to someone. Still, our choice would be to keep them forever...we do get to do that except we now keep them as part of our hearts and our memories and they are with us in a way that can never be taken away from us.

She was such a part of you for so long, don't fight the grieving...it is not something we can get over quickly. Cry when you feel like it, vent when you feel like it, write and post stories or write a letter here to Bobo telling her how you feel...getting the feelings out helps. Your boyfriend wants to help you and is trying to figure out how. How about a good tight hug and cry on his shoulder?

Everything takes time...so that the pain eases from being overwhelming to bearable.
Think about what would make you feel better...there are still things you can do for her. How about what your boyfriend suggested doing to the yard so she is in the sun as you wish? Do it.

You mentioned you are having a hard time working on her tombstone...maybe you are fighting what that represents...that she is physically gone instead of making it a project that shows her and everyone else how very much you love her. She is very possibly looking over your shoulder and you can talk to her and point out to her how special this project will be when it is finished because it is being done with love just as she always showed you her love in many ways through the years. And when it is done, you can look at it and remember the love that went into doing it and remember that love was for someone..as you have said... "is irreplaceable".

If you think about the thoughts that really bother you...use that to try and think of what would make you feel better and do it.

We never want to let them go. We want them back and to stay with us but we know that is impossible because something somewhere does not allow that. All we can do is be grateful for the time given to us to have them...it will never be long enough but at some point it is out of our control. We don't ever have to let them go only their physical body has gone..their soul now lives in our heart and no one can take that away. One thing I am sure you will agree....Bobo would never ever want to see you unhappy in any way. These babies love us too much and would just want to "kiss" away our tears until we smile again. We will always miss them. At times we will cry for them. That is all OKAY to do. There is no time limits on grieving but it can be exhausting.

You should not allow those nightmares to overtake you. When you sense one starting...force yourself to remember a happy good time with Bobo..that is what she would want and you know she would only want the best for you.

I often quote one "Mom" here who said what has meant a lot to me to read and that is: The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her.

Think about the joy whenever the pain comes...it is an effort but it will get easier over time. You will always miss her. You will always love her with your whole being.
But in time you will remember more happy, healthy memories of her than the sadness that always is there at the end. You gave her a good life for many, many years and she loved you every hour of every day of every one of those years.

I just lost my last one in Sept after over 16 years (which is the longest I have ever had with one of these precious ones) and during my grieving...I came to realize that I did not want the emptiness of a silent home and so I adopted a new one from the shelter in December and he is quite a distraction. I have pictures of my special ones in every room so when I walk in, I can look at them and see them healthy and happy in those pictures and I can smile remembering their individual ways. Sometimes I can touch them in the picture and cry that I miss them but I know that they did not leave me...they were taken from me by something I had no control over. When it is time for them to leave us...we just can't change that outcome..no matter how much we wish to.

Your description of her stone sounds so beautiful and I can understand why tears flow as you work on it with sadness. Try working on it and feel the pride and love you have for her that will show in its creation and instead of tears, see her face and smile and tell her about all the love that you are putting into something special you are doing for her. Maybe you ARE seeing her out of the corner of your eye...who's to say you are not?

Hugs to you and I wish you peace and healing. Write here, post a tribute of pictures in the Tributes section as a project to her, if that sounds helpful. It seems like we can't do negative steps and positive steps at the same time so if you think of something positive to do...that is a step toward healing and acceptance of something that was beyond your control.

Just know....Bobo will always be with you in your heart and mind filled with memories and nothing will ever separate that connection and bond. It is forever there so she is forever with you.

Sorry for being so lengthy but I just felt so much pain from you..I tried to think of everything that might help you and ease what you are going through...somewhat.
That's all we can do here..is try and help each other through the pain that we are all familiar with.

The story was a beautiful classic, full of love with tragedy. Last Spring before things stared going wrong for my furbaby, I encountered a burial scenario that was very touching to me, and only though of it when you mentioned the ups and downs of burial and cremation. Maybe people can think of something like what I saw someday when they need to.

I Trail Bike at a nearby forest park, and one day I was crossing a meadow. There were many clumps of daffodils in bloom-People had been planting them for years. (The second picture is one of the fields, just before the daffodsils and jonquils arrive.) It was getting toward evening, and there was a woman standing by one clump. She said Hello, and I stopped and talked to her.
Apprarantly, people with apartments and condos have been quietly burying their pets there, and visit when the daffodills bloom. It is an unofficial tradition, and if the Park authorities know about it, maybe they ignore it. She would not have told me if it had not come out that I was an Animal Person.
So when I see people standing in that meadow, looking at the daffodils, I often wonder what their stories are.
But I am not going to ask...

Hi Kuniklos, I'm so sorry you had to lose Bobo, but there is no pain now. Bobos essence is still here with you. When I read your story, alot of it reminds me of events in my childhood, with my dog Nero.

I'm glad you're here, this is the best place to be to meet others who have experienced the loss of a companion animal.

Take Care

It's been a little while. I've been really busy with school work and it was really hard to keep up considering things. I had a hard time focusing on work. I just wanted to sit and do nothing. I considered signing up for the campus couseling services but honestly didn't have an hour in my schedule for the last few weeks to do it.

I took the advice of thinking of happy moments when I started to get really sad. It helped quite abit. However, I think about her all the time and just can't believe she's gone. I still cry rather frequently and that makes me sad too. It happens at such random and inappropriate times.

I need more time, but I miss here.

Here's a picture of her on her favorite blanket basking in the backyard about two summers ago. I'll likely cross post it on another thread.



Here's an old picture of her and I and my other dog, Attila, six years ago. Excuse the PJs.



This is the picture I believe I have mentioned of shortly after we brought her home. She was as big as my mother's size 6 shoe!

Sharing your pictures hopefully will help you to remember happier times you and Bobo had together. It hasn't been that long for you since Bobo passed away. Your pictures are precious and capture a moment in time when you and Bobo spent happy times together. Keep those memories close to your heart. As you remember other times you will discover that the good times far outweigh those last days of Bobo's. Talking about Bobo and showing his pictures really can help in mending your broken heart.

For the first few months after Goliath passed away, I really didn't do much at all. I was glad I didn't have to go to work because I found myself busting into tears all the time. Not only that, I became very sensitive about everything. It takes time to accept the death of one who is loved so much. The thing that helped me the very most was coming here every single day and making exchanges with others who were also grieving over the loss of their loved ones.

Today, one of the docs where I work asked me how my "kids" were. I hadn't seen this particular doc since Goliath passed away. I got all choked up and couldn't even answer her. Then I busted into tears. She held me and just let me cry it out and then we talked in her office for quite awhile. It was just 6 months ago that Goliath died in my arms.

Come back when you can; the more often the better. Bobo left you with far more than grief. Take the time you need for yourself, even if it means setting something else aside. You will do a better job all the way around in everything else you are busy with if you do. Bobo is worth it. And so are you.