He/she was at the edge of my property when I went out today...must have been hit by a car. I didn't even know his/her name, but I wanted everyone to recognize that this beautiful creature, although unknown, was an important furchild none the less. I wanted everyone to know that he/she was black with a small white patch on his/her chest, and appeared to be a young kitty...about 6-8 months maybe . As I bundled him/her in that old towel to take him/her to be buried, I cried as though I knew this kitty. I cried because he/she had no choice in his/her unfortunate fate. I cried because this world is so harsh to such innocent creatures. It is very cold and windy here today, and as I dug that hole my face was burning from the cold wind blowing against the tears I was crying for this furbaby. I felt so many emotions come over me. One moment I am just angry at the irresponsible person that was at fault for this, the next I am crying my eyes out for this poor kitty and wondering what he/she was like. What were his/her little 'quirks'? What type of personality did this furbaby have? It was very dificult to dig that hole....the ground is cold and I live in Georgia so there is hard red clay to contend with so it was physically exhausting....but more so it was emotionally exhausting. I have never buried an animal before. Mine have always been cremated. As emotional as the process was I couldn't imagine going through those motions for one of my own. I was out there for quite some time. It gave me time to reflect on how lucky our furkids are and I had to ask myself why there are others who aren't as fortunate. What did they do to deserve this? Why are the most innocent the most mistreated? Why is this world so ignorant and @#$%^* up that these things continue to happen regardles of the amount of info. that is out there?? When I couldn't dig anymore, I placed him/her, wrapped in a towel and then placed in a bag, into the hole. I cried again and I told him/her that I may not know them, but I loved them anyways and then I said a little prayer. It was strange how the horses stood so quietly and watched the whole process. They are always nosey, but usually they bore quickly with whatever we are doing and go about their business. This time they all stood and stared as though they knew what was going on...it was really strange to me. Anyway, I guess I'm babbling at this point. Sorry, but I'm still a bit emotional about the whole thing.

I'm also worrried about him/her being buried because I couldn't get the hole very deep...only about 2-3 feet and that was after working on it for quite some time. Is this going to be deep enough? I called my husband to get his opinion and he said (as sad as it sounds) that I should have just layed his/her body in the hole unwrapped so he/she could return to the earth more quickly...what do you guys think I should do?

In my prayers is that little black kitty ?-2/14/2007

Oh, Kim....I'm so glad, on behalf of that poor feline, that you took the time and great effort to do the right thing by him/her. Would he/she have possibly belonged to one of your neighbours around there? Of course, if they haven't come looking, would they have even cared? ***sigh*** But I'm positive your heart-speak and prayers for this little one have helped him/her in the spirit world even now, knowing someone cared enough about his/her precious soul. (whenever I pass a creature - usually deer, coyotes or ground squirrels - killed on the highways around here, I say a prayer for the angels to guide and protect that soul and take them to Heaven, in case they were so shocked into death that they don't even realize what's happened) In these cases, I often hope that at least their passing was quick and painless.

If you have any larger rocks on your property, you might pile a bunch up on top of this little one, as they did in times past to guard against him/her being dug up. I guess a piece of natural fabric would have been better than plastic (also better for the environment), but if you can't bring yourself to start again, then maybe at least use a rock cover. I'm not familiar with what kinds of wildlife you might have around you, but they do suggest (or order) that holes normally be dug 3-4 ft. in most places, if it's a small-medium animal, and that a hole not be near any water source. Perhaps you could re-dig in the spring instead, when the ground's warmer? (and maybe then your H might help you with the task?) So many times....the world and the people in it just stink.

FK's mom,
Thanks for your words of support.Actually, there is a woman that lives down the road that has many cats, but they aren't cared for and are pretty much left to themselves (I have actually taken two of them to be spayed when I caught them trying to use my barn as a brothel ), so even if this kitty did 'belong' to this woman, she wouldn't care one way or the other .We don't have any wildlife in this area (foxes coyotes,etc.) but I guess there are always strays that can come around. I buried him/her behind the barn, away from any water sources (by luck...I didn't know about that), in what I feel to be a pretty safe place. The horses aren't very tolerant of strange dogs and such, so I don't think any would stay around too long even if they did find their way back there.
I can't stop thinking about him/her. I keep wondering if he/she suffered. His/her fur was still parted and slicked down from laying in the pouring rain....how long did he/she lay there in that pouring rain before he/she died....I hope it was instant<sigh>. I really wish I could save them all......

That reminds me...I'd forgotten about your horses....good, that they're close by to act as 'sentries' for this wee one, and also, I find it very touching that they acted so 'solemnly'. As you already know, horses are very sensitive beings, too, like cats (maybe why they so often seem to get along just fine together, despite the great size difference), so I'll just bet they sensed your activity was one of honour and respect and were acting in accordance with that....bless their big, equine hearts!

And that's also SOOO good of you to have had those other ones fixed.....stupid woman neighbour, adding to the distress of millions....and not all of them feline, either, ie. US!!

That's a really awful image to have to carry around with you now....gad.....I hope you can try to focus on the good you did for him/her and the lack of any possible suffering now for that dear soul....I know it's easier said than done, though. And yah....would that we didn't even HAVE a reason to feel we'd love to save them all!

Oh Kim, I feel your pain. I didn't know the kitty either, but it just makes me cry to think of him out there all alone like that in the rain. Bless you for taking care of him and making sure he got a proper burial. I agree with FK's mom that maybe you could pile some rocks on his grave to prevent some animal from digging him up. That's what they did with Alley's grave because they DO have coyotes and such in the woods surrounding the house.

Are there any houses nearby that he might have belonged to? Or anywhere you could post a flyer for someone to contact you if they are missing a kitty? It may be a long shot, and he might have even been feral but I know how hard it is for a kitty to just go missing and never know what happened to him.

You are an angel for taking care of him like this.

Rest in Peace little kitty. We didn't know you, but even still, you are loved.

Kim

I'm so sorry you had to find the little one. I'm also glad it was you who did, many other's would just leave the baby. I think you did just fine however you buried it and whatever you wrapped it in. You did it with love and care, maybe more that the poor little thing had it's whole life. I too wish I could save them all, it hurts when we can't. You really are a blessing to have done so much for a lost little one. Thank you. I think it was really beautiful your horses were there too, and sensed the loss.

I'm crying for the poor little black kitty too. Bye baby, I didn't know you but I hope you find the far green fields and lots of warmth and love. Look for Butch, he loved kittens, he'll help you out.

Love

What kidness you showed this young kitty. I'm sure anyone of us here on the forum would've done the same thing. A lot of people would've passed it by, dismissing the kitty as someone elses problem. You are a truly wonderful person

Kim, I am sorry to hear of the pain you felt. I am glad you were there to honor the little black kitty, to show a selfless act of love to a lovely four legged. Your act of kindness helps keep my faith in the human race alive, though it is often shaken. I hope hope you find comfort in knowing you gave the little one a resting place where all furbabies are loved

God Bless,

Mark

As I was going out to retrieve my morning paper, the 'lady' that I suspected owned the little black kitty was driving by and stopped to say hello (in these parts, you always speak to your neighbors when you see them...YEE-HAW ). I asked her if she was missing a little black kitty.....I wish I hadn't. She said "well, come to think of it, it has been a while since I saw the black one last...why?" I told her that I found a little black kitty at the edge of my property...hit by a car. She showed zero emotion. All she said was "If it's still there I'll take it home and bury it with the others (yes, she kept saying 'it', and "the others!" just how many kitties have fallen victim to her ignorance?!). I told her that I had already taken care of it . I didn't offer to exume the body for her because 1) I knew she didn't care, and 2)I wanted that little kitty to stay where it was respected. I can almost even say loved since I am somehow becoming protective and attached to an animal I never knew ...am I losing it or what?!?! I also asked her about the gender and name of the kitty...she didn't know the gender and he/she didn't have a name !! It sometimes feels like this world will never change and our furbabies will continue to suffer forever<SIGH> .

Each time I go to the barn I am now drawn to the resting place of that little kitty. It is where I see it each time I go out there, so I always feel compelled to 'visit'. My husband asked why, out of all 10 acres we have here, I chose to put him/her right where I would be (in his words) "tortured daily by it". I felt I had no choice. I feel crazy even typing this, but I wanted him/her to be around people and animals that cared about him/her. Like he/she actually belonged there...a forever home ...I'm crazy aren't I...this is it, I have finally lost my mind !

Thanks to you all for caring about this 'jane doe' kitty.....

Kim

I'm glad you have the baby where someone cared about it, it deserved it. I don't think you are nuts honey. I think it's just great. Jane Doe Kitty has some love and respect now.

Love

Kim,

I would feel exactly the same way. I know it! You're not crazy, but compassionate and respectful of them. Nothin' wrong there! It's that other woman who's not right in her head (yet)! Instead of letting it 'torture' you daily, maybe try and focus upon the fact that you did rightly by him/her, and what that says about both you and this precious little one. BELIEVE that his/her soul will receive your love and care, even now! Think of it as being the same as if he/she had left this earth with you there for his/her final moments and receiving your love THEN (except that you were actually spared actually having to see that part), and that being a better way to go, with someone loving at your side, than not. Every bit of love you send that little one now will still reach him/her. I truly, truly believe this.

I, too, picked up right away on the "it" thing. But I'm thinking....maybe what we all have to do, in order to compel the Universe to make a positive change is to envision, with all our hearts, seeing what we'd RATHER see....a world where absolutely everyone cares deeply about the animals sharing this world with us....and not focus as much, if at all, on what's 'out there' currently. You could start by experimenting with this technique on that neighbour, trying to imagine her as having an abrupt change of heart over those in her stead....and see what happens.

Lori,

Can you tell I've just finished watching The Secret????

Kim

I can understand people like that unfortunately, having grown up around them. It doesn't make it any easier to deal with them though. How can someone just not care about a sweet little soul?? I am so glad that you came along for this little girl (we'll just assume, since we don't know, and I think Jane is a great name for her!). She may not have been loved in life, but she is loved here and now, by all of us, and she is mourned, for the chance she never had to live a life full of love and warmth.
I think its natural that you are drawn to her grave. I didn't know her either, but I can mourn her just the same. I have had a cat or two "disappear" in my life, and I can only hope that someone like you found them and gave them the respect and caring that they deserve.

Hi Kim,
Long time no see - for both of us I guess. I had a similar situation recently. I've fed a cat in my back yard for years, he's always looked pretty healthy, so I assumed he had a home, but I fed him when he was here, and he had a thing for catnip. Well, my hubby found him early one morning in front of the house, long passed, probaby hit by a car, and put him in a box since he thought the cat was yet another cat I fed regularly, but I knew he wasn't. I really felt a connection to Leo (my years-long name for him) so I took him to our local crematorium- I guess I was in shock, I didn't know what else to do. What do you do in a situation lke that? We live right behind some woods with coons, foxes, all kinds of wildlife, I've never buried an animal out there - no guardian horses for me, unfortunately. I felt I'd done so little for Leo in life that I had his paw prints done - I don't know why - maybe someday I'll find out who he belonged to although he was so shy and wary I think he was a true feral. Anyway, I honored him the best and only way I could. Thanks for listening. Kim, it's good to hear you again. I did miss you. Take care - Barb

5catsmom

I think it was lovely that you cared and took care of "Leo" after he passed. I would have gotten the Paw Prints done too. Someone cared, remembered and will remember and did something. I don't know what else anyone one of us can really ask for when we pass. As long as you remember, he lives on. I know the feeling of wanting to do so much for a 'stray' and not really knowing what we can do that won't, in fact make it worse. It leaves such a 'bad taste' in your mouth. Anyway thank you for talking care of a lost little one.

Poor little Leo, go and play warm and full and safe now.

Love

5catsmom,
SOOO good to hear from you! It makes me feel 'at home' again to see a post from one of the old gang....I had such a connection to so many of you guys back then...I miss that.

Anyways, it doesn't surprise me that you went that extra mile . Leo was so very lucky to have stumbled upon your wonderful love....I wish they didn't have to ever lead such hard lives...it just isn't fair .

Just last night my husband and I were driving through Atlanta and I saw the most horrific thing. I saw a cat run across an extremely busy 6 lane highway. My heart stopped as I saw it up ahead and I screamed bloody murder (almost made my hubby wreck). The poor kitty made it all the way to the very last lane and got hit. It was dark, so all I saw was the silouhette of the whole thing, but trust me, that was more than enough. I made my husband go back (which was no easy task since there was no immediate place to turn around and we had to drive for quite some time before being able to), but we never could find any kitty. I don't know if we just weren't finding our way back to the right spot (as we weren't familiar with that area at all) or if the kitty possibly made it off the road....which only makes me wonder if he/she went off to suffer a painful death <sigh>....why do I have to see these horrible things......

It was so nice to see you still come around.....I don't come here nearly as much anymore either, but I guess that's a good thing...I remember a time I couldn't breathe without LS

Thanks Moose Mom and Kim for listening, sometimes that's just what we need. Kim, I have one of those horrific memories also when we were just back from overseas, lost on one of these huge freeways here in the States, saw a little white dog nonchalantly trot into the middle of the road and get hit. I think I was the only one in the van who saw it, and I was just frozen, I couldn't speak, move, do anything for miles and miles but see that scene over and over in my mind. I still pray for that little dog, wondering how he got there and berating myself for not doing something, but I'm sure, with that California traffic there was nothing to do for him.

In the end, I suppose, all we can do is share, and cry, and pray, and know we'll see them again one day. Take care all - Barb

The night I had to say good-bye to "Simba I" I was an emotional train wreck. I was backing out of my driveway and I seen something that looked like a kitten run into the road and stop right in the middle of the road...

I think it only took one second to slam my car into park, open my door, and be at the road. I pretty much stopped oncoming traffic to get to it. When I got to it, it turned out to be just a small paper bag that was sliding down the road from the blowing wind. I picked it up and made sure it was empty...

The cars I stopped must have thought I was "losing it" or something but I could care less. I really thought it was a kitty and there was no way I was going to let it just sit there in the middle of the street.

My sympathies for the turmoil on that terrible night, yet you stopped to check the welfare of another possibly injured animal. Bless you.

You know, I'll bet in at least one of those cars you inadvertently held up, someone knew exactly what and why you were doing what you were doing, and appreciated it. If there were more people like you to care, think how much less pain there might be out there. Just maybe. Take care - Barb