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> I Hate You Cancer, Gone too soon
Cheri
post Jul 10 2013, 09:57 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 49
Joined: 4-January 12
From: San Diego CA
Member No.: 7,423



Cancer won, Sandy is gone, too soon, too quick.
We had Sandy for 15 years. She was Diego's partner, who left us 1 1/2 years ago, and it seems like yesterday.
We got Diego first in 1998 when he was a kitten, we were spending time between San Diego and Washington and picked his name for our love of the area. Then shortly after, Sandy came along and they were a pair. Sandy and Diego.
They were brother and sister for 13 years, when we lost the greatest little boy, Diego to cancer. Sandy has grieved every night since he left us. She always cries at night just after we go to bed, every night for a couple minutes, then settles in. I felt the same way as she did.
But 2 weeks ago, I began to worry. My daughter came to visit from out of town (she grew up with this kitty, she chose Sandy at PAWS) and said "Sandy's lost weight", I said a little, but she doesn't eat as much any more. I just thought it was her age. She still ate, drank, talked and sat on our laps every chance she got!! She loved to be petted and would stare at your hand when you stopped, then grab it to pet her again. She had the loudest purr, and would purr just when she heard our voice. I can remember being on th phone once, Sandy was sitting on the arm of the chair next to me purring away and the lady on the other end said "Is that a cat purring?" I just said yep, that's Sandy smile.gif She would purr so loud as soon as she heard our voices.
The next day Sandy was in her favorite spot and would not come out for treats. I gave her some can food, but she refused to eat. Not like her to miss a Meal or a treat sad.gif It was the day I started to worry and haven't stopped since. By Sunday she was jaundice and I made an appointment for the next day. She had a blood panel done and the vet saw very high levels of bilirubin and enough other alarms to suspect liver disease, pancreatitis or cancer sad.gif she made us an appointment at the ER for an ultrasound the next day. Tuesday, ultrasound.... Blood work, aspiration. Looks like lymphatic cancer spread to liver,
Won't know til blood test comes back and because of the holiday that could be two days. I paid extra to get a stat blood report from the lab and she stayed in the hospital with an iv to get fluids in her. Wednesday still no blood report but we needed her to eat for her to have a chance to recover, so a feeding tube was put in. Thursday we went in again to visit and the blood work was back. She had the worst kind of cancer (they're all bad sad.gif. Pancreatic with a mass and it had begun to spread to her liver.
So we took her home to give her hospice care. She took to the tube feedings every six hours and perked up some, but never returned to her old self. After the e-tube got an infection and she started to vomit yesterday, I knew she was over it.
I made that awful, hard decision last night to let her go. She took her tube feeding today just fine, drank some water and just never left her new spot on the bathroom tile , where she stayed since coming home from the vet.
I called a mobile vet and they came out to our house so Sandy wouldn't have to be put in the car and on a metal table her last moments of life. She had her dignity until the end. To have my baby girl fall asleep, out of pain in my arms was truly peaceful. She looked content as she slipped away from me, doctors and pain. I do not regret these past two weeks, I did everything I could and I would've continued on forever for her, but she didn't want to. She had a great wonderful full life and she left us on a good day when she wasn't yet in a lot of pain, but still not herself any more.
I have yet to stop crying as my tears hit the keyboard , but I know one day these tears I feel when I think of her will be replaced by a smile. I look forward to that, but for now - I will let them fall. She deserved the best and I know I was the one chosen to give her just that, I believe I lived up to it! I'll miss you, your meow and most of all, your purr.
You will always be my Sandycat, my babycat and I will miss you forever and a day. Til we meet again, enjoy all the love you get from Diego, he's been waiting for you smile.gif
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Gretta's Mom
post Jul 11 2013, 06:57 AM
Post #2





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 2,020
Joined: 13-April 11
Member No.: 7,067



Dear Cheri

My heart is crying with you over the passing of Sandy the cat. I agree, cancer is to be hated, loathed and one day hopefully eradicated. it took Sandy. This spring it took my beautiful half black lab / half Newfie Rufus and now it iss taking my earthly sister. I join you in the fallin of tears shed for lives too short and grief left behind. But one bright morning when thsi life is over, we WILL fly away and all be reunited never to part again. Someone on another place mentioned a book called Cold Noses and the Golden Gate (or could be Pearly Gate), the relections of a cleric and Bible citations that reassure us that our furbabies WILL be with us in heaven.

Please accept my most sincere condolences.

Gretta and Rufus's mom
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Cheri
post Jul 11 2013, 01:01 PM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 49
Joined: 4-January 12
From: San Diego CA
Member No.: 7,423



QUOTE (Gretta's Mom @ Jul 11 2013, 04:57 AM) *
Dear Cheri

My heart is crying with you over the passing of Sandy the cat. I agree, cancer is to be hated, loathed and one day hopefully eradicated. it took Sandy. This spring it took my beautiful half black lab / half Newfie Rufus and now it iss taking my earthly sister. I join you in the fallin of tears shed for lives too short and grief left behind. But one bright morning when thsi life is over, we WILL fly away and all be reunited never to part again. Someone on another place mentioned a book called Cold Noses and the Golden Gate (or could be Pearly Gate), the relections of a cleric and Bible citations that reassure us that our furbabies WILL be with us in heaven.

Please accept my most sincere condolences.

Gretta and Rufus's mom



Thank you so very much, I am gonna be ok, I will Always have her in my heart, she was the sweetest smile.gif
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moon_beam
post Jul 11 2013, 02:09 PM
Post #4


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Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,088
Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, Cheri, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies to the physical loss of your beloved Sandy. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

This grief adjustment journey is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time. It is not a "straight line" journey from A to Z but rather one that has many twists and turns, ups and downs, and turnarounds - - just when we think we are through the worst part of our grief we can find ourselves slumped to our knees overwhelmed with the deepest grief pain that literally takes our breath away.

It is good that you are giving yourself the very needed opportunity to grieve your beloved Sandy. The tears you cry are literally healing tears. Some people think that if they suppress their grief that it will make the pain of their deep sorrow less intense. Clinical studies prove that it is very unhealthy to suppress grief. One correspondent shared that the tears we shed are like beautiful diamonds that our beloved companions catch and put into our crowns that they will give us when it is our appropriate time to join them in eternal joy. So go ahead and cry, Cheri, - - for each tear is a beautiful reflection of the eternal love bond you and your beloved Sandy share - - and one day as the tears subside you will once again enjoy the beautiful prism of memories - - as colorful as a beautiful rainbow.

One of the many blessings we have is knowing that the love bond we share with our beloved companions is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. I am glad you are comforted in knowing that your beloved Sandy's sweet Living Spirit is forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always a heartbeat close to you. Nothing in heaven or on earth will ever take this away from you, Cheri.

One of the many things you need to remember as you travel your grief adjustment journey is that you are not alone. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Sandy with us, Cheri. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture(s) of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Cheri, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Cheri
post Jul 12 2013, 05:38 PM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 49
Joined: 4-January 12
From: San Diego CA
Member No.: 7,423



Thank you moonbeam smile.gif. I'm doing ok. I think as a mother I worry more about my children's pain over Sandy's passing. They are both 20 something now, but Sandy was their cat and part of their childhood. It's interesting how God works. We flew our girls home on a whim not knowing it would also serve as a chance to say one last goodbye. They were shocked as she wasn't showing signs that she was going until the day after they left. Not a coincidence!!!!
I hated to have to tell them and hear their tears over a long distance phone call, torture. So I will comfort them which helps comfort me and we will be ok in time. Thank heaven for my family, we are cat people!! smile.gif
And thank heaven for ALL the wonderful people here, it's truly a blessing to have your kind, thoughtful, and wise words. Wish we all didn't ever have to go thru this, but grateful your out there.
Bless you
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