Yesterday was the saddest moment I have ever had to deal with. I had to put my Bruno down. I have had him since he was a puppy. He was 5 years old. He started off with Valley Fever and has been dealing with that for a long time. I had him on medicine and though it was ok. Three months ago he went to the vet and they said his valley fever went down but still very high so they uped his dose. Last week I started to notice he was not eating or drinking. He was losing weight. I took him into the vet and they did testing on him. They said he was anemic and had a kidney infection. Since he was not drinking water we had him on an iv. He was then on kidney medicine and antibiotic. He still was not eating so they gave me prednizone to help with his appetite. That was not working. He all of a sudden could not walk and his body just gave up. He was stuck to the ground and could not move. I forced fed him but he would just throw it all up. We got him into the vet Saturday and they said at this point his kidneys are shutting down and he lost all his muscle. We need to put him down right now. My boyfriend called me to tell me because I was at work. I wanted to say goodbye so he brought him back home and he stayed his last night with us. I talked to him and laid with him all day and night. I could not eat, drink or sleep. My body was shaking. I was so scared to walk over and not see him breathe anymore. I know my baby was in pain and had to make the hardest choice of putting him down. So yesterday I told him I loved him so much and it was going to be ok. Me and my family cried and cried. My Bruno could barely lift his head but when he did he put it towards mine and put his paw on my arm. I lost it. I tried to hard not to let him see me cry so he was not even more sad. Now that he is gone nothing is the same. I am very depressed. I find myself going outside and just looking at his favorite spot. I cant even look at his dog bowl without crying. I never want to get another pet again. I already have another dog and just try to love her as much as I can but it is so hard.

Hi, Shaknown, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Bruno. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief when you share with us: " Now that he is gone nothing is the same. I am very depressed. I find myself going outside and just looking at his favorite spot. I cant even look at his dog bowl without crying." Shaknown, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is a journey frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure.

As with human medicine, sometimes veterinary medicine can restore our companions to good health so that they can continue to enjoy a good quality of life. Sadly, there comes a time in both medical venues when there is nothing left that can be done, and veterinary medical practices gives us the legal opportunity as guardians of our companions to humanely and lovingly ease their journey home to the angels. Making this decision is NEVER easy, but it comes from the depths of our unselfish love for them to do what is best - - even when our hearts are breaking from the heaviest burden of deepest sorrow.

From what you share with us, Shaknown, you did everything in your power to give your beloved Bruno a happy and healthy earthly journey. As difficult as this grief journey is adjusting to the physical absence of your beloved Bruno there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Bruno share. Love is eternal, Shaknown - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Bruno's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Bruno with us, and these wonderful pictures of your beloved boy. He is so handsome. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Shaknown, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moon_Beam thank you so much for those words. It has been now day 3 and I still cry. I washed the last blanket he was on and sleep with it. Things are just so quiet without him. I do have another dog and just try to show her love as much as I can. I feel guilty when I end up laughing about something or think about something else. Your words mean a lot and I really do thank you.

Hi, Shaknown, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief when you share with us: "I feel guilty when I end up laughing about something or think about something else." Your beloved Bruno does not want your heart sad - - instead he wants to see you happy, as his greatest joy during his earthly journey was to bring happiness to you. This desire doen't change now - - he just has to find other ways to do it. I know this grief journey is very painful with all the ups and downs, twists and turns, and turn-arounds each day - - some days being not so bad, some days being not so good, and some days feeling like our hearts are breaking under the burden of sorrow and grief. I hope that in comforting your remaining precious companion that you will also find comfort.

I hope today is treating you and your precious companion kindly, Shaknown, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bruno's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Shaknown, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Shaknown,
I read your post and had to respond. My husband and I also had to put down our beloved Lab Capone this past Monday. It came as quite a shock, he didn't give us much indication there was a problem
except his back legs were getting a little wobbly lately. We just figured it was because he was getting older. He still had a very happy energetic disposition. This past Saturday afternoon, he was having
trouble getting up and by Sunday he could not get up by himself at all, we took him to the Emergency vet and he received a shot in each hind leg and got some pain pills. I was very scared but hopeful that
this was all that was wrong. Early Monday morning he was clearly uncomfortable and could not move much. My husband spent the the rest of the night on the floor next to him and stayed home from work that day.
He took Capone to the vet and texted me they were doing some xrays and bloodwork. I got the call from him around 2:30 that it was bad and there was nothing to be done for him. He had kidney failure.
I was at work and immediately left to get to the vet's office. I cried the entire way. We had some nice time with our boy before they gave him the injection to put him to sleep. I have not stopped crying since. I am still in shock,
wondering why??? We thought we had much more time with him and it hurts so much to see his toys, bowls and the house is just emptier. We have another Lab, Dugan, who is not sure what is going on,
just that his buddy isn't here. We got his ashes from the vet today, so now our boy is back home with us. It breaks my heart as I imagine yours is too. I know that with time we will both be fine.
I know that I will be able to look at his pictures and toys and not cry, and maybe even start to smile. With each day it will hurt just a little less, being replaced with special memories of your time with him.
I really think just hearing other people's experiences helps to ease the pain also. We aren't alone. Other people understand and feel what we feel. Our vet and staff were wonderful and made a difficult time much easier.
God Bless,
Capone's mom

Capones mom thank you for sharing your story with me. Reading it made me cry. I understand the pain you feel. I myself do not understand how Bruno's kidneys shut down in a matter a few days. I also do feel better talking about it with people who actually understand and have or are going through it. I truly am sorry for your loss. Do you by chance go through a moment where if you find yourself laughing about something you start to feel guilty? I tend to do that. I miss him so much. I also have another dog with valley fever but she is doing good. I feel right now she gives me that comfort but it's still not the same.

I don't think I have laughed since he passed. I find myself crying at the slightest memory or if I do something with our other dog that we would do with Capone too. I didn't cry as much today however,
so I guess maybe that's progress. I know we will both feel better soon enough, but right now I can't seem to look that far ahead. It has left such a huge hole in our lives. We're taking our other dog to the vet next week to make sure he's healthy.
Soon I will start going thru pictures and put some of my favorites out and I know when I do it will make me smile not cry.
Hang in there. Cry when you need to but try to smile just as much. I like the fact that there are places like this where we can go and share our stories, it let's us know we aren't alone and that there are
others that love their animals just as much.

Tomorrow will be a better day--that 's the sticky note I have in my car!

Capones mom I truly understand you. The days have slightly gotten better but like right now I cried. Every place in this house has a memory of him. Sometimes I look at pictures and his video but I cry everytime. I know it will get better but I just can't stop saying how this in unfair. I know pets don't last forever and neither do we but I just don't feel this was the time. He should of lived and I am so angry.

It will get better, really. I'm getting there myself. Still cry, still ask Why?, but finding I can smile and laugh as well.
Please hang in there. Focus on the great times and know Bruno is looking down on you and is happy. He wants you to be happy too.
Your other doggie needs you now, like mine does. We have to be there for them too. It's good therapy focus on them and let them know you love them too.
It'll be good for both of you! Mine lets me know if I'm neglecting him, he's quite a character (and I am so thankful!!)

Hi Shaknown,
just wanted to check in to see how you're doing? I hope you are getting to a place where you can think about Bruno and smile rather than cry. I have had a pretty good week, still have a short cry occasionally,
but am able to think about Capone and remember all of our happy times. We miss him terribly and have a nice urn on our mantle with his ashes and a picture of him. I say good morning to it each day
and tell him I miss him and to watch over his brother. But it has gotten easier, better. I know it will take a long time.
Hopefully you are feeling better as well.

Hi, Shaknown, stopping by to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers as you continue your grief adjustment journey for your beloved Bruno. I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bruno's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hello Caponesmom ,


Thank you so much for the follow up. I am very glad to hear that you are doing better. I am doing better but it is still hard. I went to this pet loss support group through the Human Society the other day and I think it helped me alot. I miss him so much and I do the same as you. I talk to him every morning and think about him all the time. It does get a little better each day but my goodness this pain has been horrible. It has been two weeks today. He would of been six years old in December. I do look at his pictures and I have a video of him on my phone that I watch sometimes. Thank you so much for checking in on me. I hope each day gets even more easier for the both of us. Keep in touch with me if you can so I can see how your days have been down the road.

Moon_beam,


Thank you so much for the follow up. Each day does get better but still hard. I do know he is in a better place. I love this site so much and being able to talk with others that know how I am feeling. Thank you for checking in on me.