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anniebelle
28 years old
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Born Sep-4-1991
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Joined: 9-December 07
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Last Seen: 22nd December 2009 - 02:04 AM
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anniebelle

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10 Dec 2007
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From the time I was little, I was afraid of dogs. The large creatures' overly excitable nature was frightening and I avoided them as much as possible. When I was 8, my brother convinced my parents to get us a puppy and they reluctantly agreed. They were wary of my fear of dogs, but at the same time hoped that maybe having a puppy at home would help me overcome my fears.
As time passed, I got more comfortable with having a puppy and outgrew my fear. I am still wary of stray dogs, as one should be, but I am more comfortable approaching neighbors' dogs or dogs of family friends.
When I was 11, I lost my 2 best friends in a span of 4 months. These losses took a great toll on me and I began to withdraw from everyday life. I went to school, but I sat silently in class, I ate alone at lunch and was no longer excited to share the events of my day after school. When I got home, I ate dinner quickly, with minimal interaction with my family, before escaping to my room for the evening. I would lie awake at night, praying for sleep to come, but when it finally did, I awoke screaming, tangled in my sheets.
This pattern continued for 3 years, with one exception. Instead of lying awake at night, I would sit downstairs with Annie, my best friend. I told her everything, I cried into her fur, and I often fell asleep against her. I admitted things to her that I wouldn't even admit to myself. I shared with her what I couldn't share with my own parents.
She was my salvation for many years. She gave me the courage to stand up to my parents and to switch schools. She gave me the confidence and the strength to test for my black belt in martial arts. She taught me how to have faith in myself when no one else had faith in me. She gave me the will to live.
This past september, just a few days after my 16th birthday, my worst fear was realized. Annie had terminal cancer. They said that she had 8-10 weeks at most. My world began to crumble around me and I slipped back. My grades slipped, I went hungry and I spoke to my friends very little. To please my mother, I set a date for my birthday party. As the days passed, I focused solely on being with Annie. I called to check on her multiple times a day and hurried home from school and often arrived late to spend more time with her.
My brother came home from college that Thursday and my birthday party was set for that Saturday. Friday morning, I went to school in a fairly sour mood. My mom was taking Annie to the vet again and I was going to call at lunch to find out what happened. I dialed the familiar number and tried not to think about the reason. When my mom answered, it was clear that she had been crying. She told me that it was time and asked if I wanted to do it that afternoon or the following morning. I agreed with a heavy heart to do it the following day.
I hung up the phone and summoned my friends. I explained that the party was canceled before telling my teachers that I would be out for the rest of the day. Sitting in my study hall, I stared straight at the clock, trying to block out the sounds of everyone else discussing their weekend plans. I bit my lip to hold back the tears and kept them back until I got into the car a few minutes later. I sat with Annie and cried for the rest of the day.
The following day, my world ended. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I needed to go home to Annie to make me feel better, but that wasn't possible, it never would be again.
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