I Am So Sad, Shadow was euthanized Options

[Ohev]

A couple of weeks ago my brother-in-law died. We took our Golden Retriever to the Kennel to be boarded. The funeral was in Alabama and I live in Illinois. The morning we left I gave Shadow a hug, told him I loved him and as usual he smiled and extended his paw to show affection. About 2 hours from our destination I received a call from the kennel saying that Shadow wasn't eating and was not getting up. I gave the permission to take him to the ER Clinic and had a friend meet them at the clinic. 20 miles from my destination I got a call from the clinic and was told that they did an Xray and there was s "mass" which was probably cancer and that Shadow was dying. I was given the optionof having them do exploratory surgery which would have cost between $3k and 4k. and that the dog may not have survived and it could effect his quality of life etc.... My friend who was there was a dog lover and I trusted her judgement. She thought it was best that Shadow be euthanized. I wanted to turn around and return home, but by the time I would have returned he would have suffered and not been alive. My wife and I agreed to euthanize. I had my friend hold the dog and put the cell phone to hid ear during the process. My friend said as soon as he heard my voice, he relaxed. I gave thanks to Shadow for being my best friend and shared my love and good byes. He died while I spoke with him. I got through my Brother-in law, funeral and returned home in a couple of days to an empty house. I wish I could have been there when Shadow died. He was always there for me. It was not meant to be. It is so hard to be my house. I love my wife, but I still struggle. We have had a dog for the last twenty seven years. Our two kids are grown and live a distance away. Not having Shadow is just so difficult. He was always near me and would follow me around the house. Every AM at 6AM he would wake us up. I hope I will recover from this loss. We plan on getting another Golden in a few months. I guess at some level I don't want to portray that I can get another dog to "replace" Shadow.
It is helpful for me to write this note. I am letting those who have lost a friend know that you are not alone.
Ohev

[fcbruno]

Hi Ohev

I'm so sorry to learn of your loss of Shadow and your brother-in-law.

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope you can take things easy.

Peter

[JoanneL]

Dear Ohev,

I also want to add my condolences on the loss of you brother-in-law and your beloved Shadow. It has been 5 weeks since I lost my little girl dog, Zoe. It is starting to get easier. I hope for you that each day will bring some peace. It was a wonderful idea to speak to Shadow through the phone so he could hear your love and support. I am not sure I would have thought of that.

Please keep coming here because you will find so many caring and supportive people to help you get through this loss.

Joanne

[Juturna]

Dear Ohev,

Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your precious Shadow and your brother-in-law. I understand how extremely difficult the loss of your golden retriever is and how very much you miss him.

Talking to Shadow at his life's end was so wise. When he heard your voice, he felt your love, and he knew that you wanted to be there with him.

Grief is a one day at a time experience. Thank you for sharing your pain with us. I hope that when you are ready, and if you feel comfortable, you will send us a picture of your beloved Shadow.

With peace and healing thoughts,
Juturna

[Ohev]

Thank you for your responses. Ohev

[moon_beam]

Hi, Ohev, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Shadow. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions - - at great sacrifice to ourselves - - so that they can be healed and restored to their former youthfulness in the presence of the angels.

Ohev, your precious Shadow knows you would have been there physically with him if you could have been. He joined the angels hearing the sound of your voice, hearing the eternal love you share with him sending him home to the angels. I do so understand how hard it is for you to come home to an empty house - - without the precious physical presence of your beloved Shadow. This grief journey is very painful - - both emotionally and physically - - it's one of the hardest experiences we will know on this side of eternity.

Ohev, each of us here perfectly understands your desire to embrace another furchild into your heart and home. There is no need to "apologize" for wanting to do this, for we so well know that Shadow will always have his own special place in your heart and memories - - as will your new beloved companion whenever he / she joins you in your earthly journey. And don't be surprised if Shadow has his "paw" in the matchmaking process.

Ohev, you have experienced two losses at the same time, and this can compound your grief journey. Just remember you are among friends here for as long and as often as you need us. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Shadow with us. Perhaps at some time you may feel up to posting picture(s) of him and sharing with us some of your memories - - but only as you're up to it - - as, if, you wish to do so.

Ohev, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[corinnajane]

I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your beloved Shadow.

I hope you'll be alright.


I would love to hear more about your doggie, if you are up to it.

[Ohev]

Thank you all for your support. I will try to post a picture of Shadow today or tomorrow. Yesterday I was driving home and I saw a woman walking a dog that looked just like Shadow. I pulled over and asked if I could pet the dog. It felt like and looked like Shadow. I just loved the experience. He looked me as if he could sense my sadness inside. I know I am projecting my feelings, but what the heck. The woman told me where she purchased her Golden and tomorrow my wife and I have an appointment to go see this place tomorrow. It appears to be a reputable breeder. I am so excited! Do you think it is too soon for me to get another Golden?

[moon_beam]

Hi, Ohev, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. It truly is a very personal decision when it comes to embracing a new companion after a loss. Some folks find it very comforting to adopt immediately, some folks prefer to wait awhile until their deep grief eases, some folks opt to serve as "foster parents" to rescue furkids who are looking for a new home, some folks are content to house sit for family members and friends who have beloved companions when they are on vacation or business trips, etc.. And some people never have another beloved companion in their care after a loss - - for various reasons all of which are perfectly okay for them.

So, Ohev, enjoy this exciting opportunity for a "blind date" with a potential new beloved companion. It's okay - - and I would not be surprised if your precious Shadow is actively participating in this "matchmaking" process.

Ohev, I am excited for you and your wife and will look forward to knowing how your "meet and greet" goes tomorrow. And I will also look forward to seeing picture(s) of your beloved Shadow whenever you are up to posting them. Please know you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers, Ohev, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Juturna]

Dear Ohev,

What a beautiful experience seeing and touching another dog like you precious Shadow. I understand how you want another canine companion and time is an individual matter as Moon_beam expressed. So, enjoy the visit.

With peace and healing thoughts,
Juturna

[merlin96]

Ohev,

I wanted to add my condolences to those already offered. My heart really goes out to you. So hard to lose a cherished dog; even harder to have him leave while you are gone like that. I can't even imagine. I'm so sorry.

I wanted to briefly tell you about when I got my Sweetie two years ago. My Jack had recently passed and I didn't think I was going to get another dog too soon. I was devastated to have lost Jack - it was the moment I had dreaded for a long time and I didn't expect I would be "ready" for some time. But after only a few weeks, I was so lonely for a dog, and my life just didn't feel right. Like you, I had dogs for over 25 years. It became clear to me that the best way for me to honor Jack was to give a home to another dog and that's what I did. I still grieve for Jack, there's no escaping that process. But Sweetie has brought such joy to my life, and I believe I have made her life happy too.

You will know when the right time is for you but whenever that ends up being -- next week or next year -- I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I am so sorry you had to go through this terrible loss, right on the heels of losing your brother in law.

Valerie

[Ohev]

Hi,
I had to reduce the size of this picture to upload. I hope this works. Here is Shadow. Ohev

[Ohev]

Hello again,
Well my wife and I went to this very small town in Illinois looking for another Golden. I was very surprised and a little disturbed. The website portrayed this place as very reputable. However, I believe it was a "puppy mill". There were many older dogs in runs that they were trying to breed. The runs were not clean and the dogs looked unhappy and sad. They had several litters. One mother gave birth that morning and had a c section. Blood was coming from the incision while the babies were trying to feed. It did not look like a good situation.
I took a bunch of pictures and am considering sending them to the APL. This experience was helpful to me. I need to not be impulsive. I was looking to get Shadow back. I obviously can not do this. I believe what we need to do is take our time and find the right dog at the right time. The intensity of my sadness is less. I miss him, but I now know I can not replace him. I will put together a book of photos and focus on the wonderful times we had together. Thank you all for your support.
Ohev

[Sallywest]

Hello again,
Well my wife and I went to this very small town in Illinois looking for another Golden. I was very surprised and a little disturbed. The website portrayed this place as very reputable. However, I believe it was a "puppy mill". There were many older dogs in runs that they were trying to breed. The runs were not clean and the dogs looked unhappy and sad. They had several litters. One mother gave birth that morning and had a c section. Blood was coming from the incision while the babies were trying to feed. It did not look like a good situation.
I took a bunch of pictures and am considering sending them to the APL. This experience was helpful to me. I need to not be impulsive. I was looking to get Shadow back. I obviously can not do this. I believe what we need to do is take our time and find the right dog at the right time. The intensity of my sadness is less. I miss him, but I now know I can not replace him. I will put together a book of photos and focus on the wonderful times we had together. Thank you all for your support.
Ohev

Hi Ohev

Sorry to hear that the trip to the breeder wasn't what you had hoped for. You can take heart from the realisation that you had looked after Shadow so well and that this is not every dog's experience. Shadow's abscence from your home has left a void that can only be filled by another dog. But all in good time. Shadow will point you in the right direction at the right time.

Sally

[moon_beam]

Hi, Ohev, thank you so o o much for sharing a picture of your precious Shadow with us. What a handsome man he is!! How blessed he is to have you for his earthly guardian, and how blessed you are to have his eternal love and devotion.

Ohev, I'm so sorry that your trip to the breeder was not pleasant. I'm glad you had the presence of mind to take pictures and hope that you will follow through with reporting what you saw to the proper authorities, especially for the sake of the new mom who sounds like she is in need of proper veterinary care.

I'm also glad you are going to work on a memorial scrapbook for your precious Shadow. This is one of many projects that can help with the grief adjustment journey. You and your wife will know when it is the right time for you to embrace another companion into your hearts and home, and perhaps one of the local Golden rescue groups will be able to be a good resource for you, or your vet who may have a client who is need of a good loving home.

Ohev, thank you again so much for sharing your precious Shadow with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessigs,
moon_beam

[Ohev]

Hi Ohev

Sorry to hear that the trip to the breeder wasn't what you had hoped for. You can take heart from the realisation that you had looked after Shadow so well and that this is not every dog's experience. Shadow's abscence from your home has left a void that can only be filled by another dog. But all in good time. Shadow will point you in the right direction at the right time.

Sally

Hi Sally.
Interesting you say that Shadow will point me in the right direction at the right time. I am curious what you mean. I interpret what you are saying is that the memory and wisdom of Shadow will assist me in my pursuit. Is that what you mean?
Ohev

[Juturna]

Dear Phev,

Thank you for posting the pic of your precious Shadow. He is soooooo handsome! Your photobook project will help with the healing process. My scrapebook is helping me get through the grief and I enjoy sharing it with others.

What a shame that the beeder visit was not what you expected. I love how you took pics to submit. Taking your time with finding a new canine companion sounds wise. My beautiful Victoria was euthanized a month ago, and I just started looking at on line rescue sites for another ##er spaniel this weekend. I believe that adopting another canine is a process.

Hope you have a peaceful evening.
With peace and serenity,
Juturna

[Ohev]

Hi
I still have my ups and downs, but feel somewhat better. I never thought my journey would include reporting a puppy mill. Maybe there is a reason. I hope that Shadow would be proud of my reporting this operation to the authorities. Ohev

[Juturna]

Shadow would be very proud of you!!!!! I believe he is smiling and wagging his tail. What you did was very courageous and could save the lives of other dogs.

Grief is an emotional roller coaster at the beginning. Glad you notice some progress.

With peace and healing thoughts.
Juturna

[moon_beam]

Hi, Ohev, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. This grief journey is very unpredictable - - so many highs and lows, particularly in the early grief. I so heartily agree with Juturna that your precious Shadow is very proud of you for reporting the puppy mill. I hope you will keep us apprised of what happens, if anything, with your report.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Ohev, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam