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> One Week Missing, I'm losing hope
Chloe's Mom
post Oct 23 2007, 10:28 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 10
Joined: 23-October 07
Member No.: 3,815



Can someone tell me how you go about accepting that a dog that you love is not coming home. My dog Chloe has been gone exactly 1 week today. Not only do I miss her so very much, I worry if she is in pain or cold or sad or lonely etc etc.

I've posted her as lost on every website around. I've hung posters all over the neighborhood. I've mailed out 900 postcards to residents in my neighborhood alerting them of her situation. I am obsessed. At work, I spend most of my time searching the internet, checking everything and then checking it again 15 minutes later.

I really believe that someone has her. She is a small dog and so very friendly. I don't believe she is lost or hurt. If she sees anyone, she goes right up to them.

I want her back so badly. What more can I do? Any advice? How do you deal with the pain. I've had pets lost to illness or old age, but never one that has gone missing. It is horrible - and she was just 2 years old.
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5catsmom
post Oct 25 2007, 09:30 AM
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Group: Pet Lovers
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Oh, she is adorable! You may be very well right that someone took her in. Was she wearing a collar, or had a microchip, or any kind of tags on her? Have you checked, physically, every shelter in your area? My cat Shadow was missing almost 6 weeks over the summer, and while cats I think fare a little better on their own than dogs, it doesn't mean that a dog can't last any longer on the streets. Another thing, when you check the shelters, at least ours, has a book for people who've found animals but choose to foster them rather than bring them in, till their owners are found, and they also had a book with animals found which were deceased. It's hard to think of that, I know, and my heart always hurt when I went through that book, but thank God someone finally called about Shadow and she was brought in. I did all the things you did, the leaflets, the signs, knocking on doors - and if I could add, notify your mailman or woman, who tend to notice dogs on their routes, and maybe you can put up leaflets in nearby schools, if the offices let you. Also post a flyer by your front door, so anyone coming to your door will see that you are indeed searching for your beloved pet. Word of mouth can go very far even in this semi-secluded society we tend to live in at times, and you can get a lot of information and comfort from neighbors you never knew.

Please don't give up hope yet. There is always something to be done, some new thing to be found to do - one woman here hired a search and rescue dog team - so things can be done, even after a week. There's another poster here who has seen her dog in the woods after 6 weeks, so dogs can make it, and losing hope is such a hurtful feeling, and may very well be premature. Please come here and let us know what's going on - a lot of us have lost pets to death, but also have had pets who went missing, but please remember, they can come home again - you'll have to have hope and faith to get through it. Please let us know what happens, we care - Barb
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Furkidlets' Mom
post Oct 25 2007, 12:58 PM
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Barb makes some very good suggestions and I'd add these, too:

If you haven't already, please look at the "pinned" resources on this "Lost or Missing" forum (at the top of the main page for it). You might also read through all the good suggestions that were made in the thread here.

One week isn't really all that long for an animal to go missing, even though I know it must feel like AGES. But if you give up hope and stop your search so early in the process, it's almost certain your little girl won't be found, so don't give up hope yet!

If you have super-mailboxes (if you don't have direct door delivery of mail), post huge colour posters (on poster-board, not paper, and rain-proofed, use packing tape to afix) on all those in and around your neighbourhood, as well as taking advantage of any community service boards at grocery stores, vets, drugstores, community centers, etc., etc.....everywhere where a lot of people go and where they'll allow you to put up smaller posters that don't need to be weather-proofed. Newspaper ads, calling ALL vet clinics every 2 days, even those a few miles away, calling all city pounds around every 2 days, checking with road/hwy depts. who pick up animals killed (sorry, but it's one possibility) on the roads, all animal societies and shelters......the list is long, it demands consistent persistence, the work is exhausting, but if you're really serious about finding her, you have to put in the effort because no one cares about finding her more than YOU, so you can't leave it to someone else. This is another difficult thing to consider, but you might also call any universities who have research depts. to see if they might have brought in a dog matching Chloe's description.

And all this DOING helps keep you focused on FINDING her, rather than feeling disempowered and hopeless. Keep a list of the things that need doing and make notes on the dates you accomplished each item, so you have an easy reference to keep checking back on. It is only the very, very lucky few who don't have to lift a finger to get their animals back home, unfortunately, in this day and age.

You don't say whether she had proper, permanent identification (tattoo, microchip), but if you DO find her, please make sure this gets done pronto once she's home.

And prayer or intentional thoughts never hurt, either. Best of not only luck, but strength to keep at it! And of course, come back to write about how you're doing anytime.


--------------------
"I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you."

[center]~Anonymous~


<div align="center">"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"[/center]

~Fleur Conkling Heylinger~


>^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^<


"For one species to mourn the death of another is a noble thing"

~Aldo Leopold~

<span style='font-size:9pt;line-height:100%'>Life is life - whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage. ~Sri Aurobindo

Spay now or pay later, the interest is killing us.


</span></div>
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Eagle'sMom
post Oct 25 2007, 01:39 PM
Post #4





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 50
Joined: 31-July 07
Member No.: 3,336



Chloe's Mom,

I'm so very sorry and my heart goes out to you...

I was going to suggest reading my thread but Furkidlets' Mom already posted the link...

Everyone posted some great suggestions...

You have found a great site here with loving and caring people...

You and Chloe are in my prayers...

Luv,


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Chloe's Mom
post Oct 25 2007, 08:03 PM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 10
Joined: 23-October 07
Member No.: 3,815



You are all so very kind. I am glad I found this site. No one seems to understand how I feel, but I think you guys do. Most tell me that I've done everything I possibly can do and I need to move on. How can I move on without Chloe. She is my best friend!

I feel like I'm searching for a needle in a haystack. You are all correct... I need to continue the search. It just seems like such a big place to be search and how can I possibly cover everything.

I have heard about search and rescue dogs. I know of one about 3 hours from here. Anyone know much about them, and there success rate? I've already been scammed by PetfindersAlert who told me for $139 they would call all my neighbors within 50 blocks of my house. They didn't call a single person. I think its horrible that anyone would prey on people in so much pain. Back to the rescue dogs, I live in Portland and it rains a lot here. I figure rain can really hurt the scent. But, if they could get me Chloe back, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I just don't want to be scammed again, and continue to throw money away.

I miss her so much. I can't seem to think of anything but her. I've thought about seeking counseling - I just don't seem to be dealing with this very well.

Thanks for listening.
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paris
post Oct 26 2007, 04:42 AM
Post #6





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 149
Joined: 3-July 07
Member No.: 3,227



Hello Chloe's Mom.

Just read your post on Eagle's.....I just found out that Eagle was found, after many months (months) of being in the woods. Now, Chole is gone, and your little dog reminds me of Eagle!

CM, rest assured that we all know EXACTLY what you are going through. By the way, I am the mother of Bennett (mad-cat) whose saga can be read on this forum.

http://lightning-strike.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=4059

and then:

http://lightning-strike.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=4092

CM, how did Chloe get lost, and where?

Are you in Portland Oregon? If so, you are lucky, because there is a dog rescue team out there I think in Washington that is reputable. Minks&Willows Mom used them and can give a recommendation. I think the dog search is a very good idea.

I also heard that the Petfinders was a scam. If they didn't even call people, you should get your money back...I understand the 'needle in the haystack' feeling, but let's get as much info as possible now and we will all try to give you suggestions and support.

Paris.
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5catsmom
post Oct 26 2007, 06:31 PM
Post #7





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 479
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Member No.: 1,278



Chloe's Mom,
If I were you, and knew of a SAR (Search and Rescue) group nearby, I'd give them a call. If you've read the long saga of Mink and Willow's Mom, she felt that it was well worth the money to be able to know for sure what had happened. In the end, with the cost of leaflets, the time spent scouring the shelters (which can be a stressful situation anyway), the hours and hours of worry, which takes a toll on your health, relationships, sleep, etc., it may well be worth it to know for sure what's happened. Chloe's your best friend, and I know how incomplete your life can feel, how out of control and out of kilter everything is when a piece of your life as important as your pet is missing. It can make you want to bury your head in a pillow and just scream sometimes. I know this summer, when Shadow was missing, well, I have 4 other cats, and Shadow is the scamp of the bunch, I missed her so terribly and hurt and had trouble sleeping, lost too much weight, and it really hurt my health, which is already bad anyway. Luckily, people here at this site are some of the most caring and understanding people I ever knew. There were several of us missing pets at the time - summer has something to do with it, probably - but we were able to brainstorm and keep each other's hopes up and re-joiced with the good news and cried with the bad news. It's a very close bond you develop, and I recommend you take every advantage you possibly can. Try calling the SAR group, see if they're available, or if they know of anyone who is. At best, they can help you locate your Chloe, at worst, they can give you an idea of where she is or what's possibly happened to her. Either way, you're better off knowing and having the questions answered than not, in my opinion. For me, personally, it would have haunted my life forever to not know where Shadow is, and the person or persons who left the door open and accidentally let her out (I think I know who it was), would have my resentment for a very, very long time. Anything you can do, do it, there are no wrong guesses when you're trying to find your best friend, and the people who tell you to move on, you should move on from them, because discouragement is contagious, in my experience. Please let us know, we do care and we hope and pray that you're soon reunited with your beautiful Chloe. Take care - Barb
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Chloe's Mom
post Oct 26 2007, 06:55 PM
Post #8





Group: Pet Lovers
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Okay, the K9 Search and Rescue team will be here at 10:00am tomorrow. I know my neighbors will think I'm crazy. The guy from there seems pretty confident that he will be able to tell me what happened to Chloe (picked up and taken, killed by an animal, or hit by a car), but doesn't make any promises about actually finding her. If she was picked up and taken, the scent is gone and there isn't much more that he can do. But then I would at least know the spot which would narrow my search.

Please everyone, pray for Chloe tonight and for the search dog that will hopefully bring my baby home.

Forever, Chloe's Mom
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Chloe's Mom
post Oct 26 2007, 07:18 PM
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I just told my 17 year old daugher that I hired the K9 search team. She is upset with me. She said "I know the dog was an important part of your life but she was just a dog and you need to accept it and let it go". Please know that my daughter is a good kid and we have a very good relationship. She is just thinking rationally, and I'm acting crazy!

Boy, do I feel stupid for doing this. Too late to back out now. I think I am losing it. Everyone is going to think I'm crazy. Is it so wrong to love an animal so much that you resort to these types of actions?
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Furkidlets' Mom
post Oct 26 2007, 11:32 PM
Post #10





Group: Pet Lovers
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Member No.: 961



GAWD, NO!!!!! No disrespect intended, but anyone who gives you that message just isn't as enlightened as you or anyone else who's wise enough to have met our fellow brethren in that sacred and spiritual space that gives rise to the immense love and bond that we've shared for all time.....they've simply forgotten and listened to the wrong things in their hearts....the things that are more natural and closer to Source. Don't listen to that - listen to your heart and inner Self....it knows what's right.

Best of luck on the search. My prayers are with Chloe and you.


--------------------
"I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you."

[center]~Anonymous~


<div align="center">"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"[/center]

~Fleur Conkling Heylinger~


>^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^<


"For one species to mourn the death of another is a noble thing"

~Aldo Leopold~

<span style='font-size:9pt;line-height:100%'>Life is life - whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage. ~Sri Aurobindo

Spay now or pay later, the interest is killing us.


</span></div>
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paris
post Oct 27 2007, 05:03 AM
Post #11





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 149
Joined: 3-July 07
Member No.: 3,227



QUOTE (Chloe's Mom @ Oct 26 2007, 07:18 PM)
Is it so wrong to love an animal so much that you resort to these types of actions?

No.

Which k9 team did you hire? How much are they charging? If they don't have to travel far, I believe it's probably less than $300. In today's dollars, that is not a lot of money. It is the price of an expensive pair of shoes, an IPod, or a monthly heating bill. As Barb said, you can easily spend several hundred in newspaper ads, color flyers, not to mention the stress and pain of looking. The money is well-spent (assuming the k9 team is competent) and most important, they may find Chloe! If, hypothetically, you walked into a petshop today and Chloe was in a cage 'for sale' for $300, would you pay it?

When Bennett was gone, I was consumed with grief and worse than that, torment. The not knowing is the worst part. You are smart to hire the team now. It is not too late and apparently the rain helps the scent.

You didn't say, how did Chloe go missing? Are you in an urban area, suburbs, or country?
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Chloe's Mom
post Oct 27 2007, 01:38 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
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The K9 search team just left. I am using the K9 Search and Recue out of Longview WA. The dog and owner were wonderful. His dog was amazing and has been involved in many well known searches.

Anyway, Chloe's scent stopped just 3 houses down from my house. It was a live scent. The K9 team says she was picked up at that spot so the scent stops.

I believe the K9 and his owner. He is an ex-police officer. He took pictures of the "crime scene" and wrote a report. He told me to file the report with my local police.

He did tell me that the success rate for getting a dog back in these situations (being stolen) is about 30%. He told me to keep on searching.

I'm not sure what my next step is....... right now I am emotionally and mentally exhausted.
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Eagle'sMom
post Oct 27 2007, 02:00 PM
Post #13





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 50
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Kim,

I can understand how exhausted mentally and emotionally you are...we all can...

I tried to get a SAR team to help me find Eagle but there was none in my area...

Good for you that you did that..

Don't give up...I know how hard things are but never give up...it was real hard for me to keep on going but God gave me the strength to do it...

I know He'll give you the strength too...

Praying for you and Chloe...

Luv,


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Furkidlets' Mom
post Oct 27 2007, 02:17 PM
Post #14





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 1,208
Joined: 21-June 05
From: Canada
Member No.: 961



Oh, dear, that's not good news. sad.gif But at least one part of the mystery is solved. However, she may still have been taken to a shelter (or those other places I'd mentioned), and even IF stolen for the purposes of keeping her as someone else's pet, there's still a pretty good chance that they'd end up giving her up to a shelter themselves, if they changed their minds and didn't want to continue caring for her, so I'd still keep doing those searches. As well, if she's been stolen as a pet, putting up notices might alert someone else who's seen her. You might want to change the heading to read "BELIEVED STOLEN", or "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS DOG?", or the like.

I'd also suggest, in this case, that you contact Hilary Renaissance, the ACer, as she had at least one story of an animal who'd been taken in my someone else, but with her clues, the real guardian was able to find the house (in the neighbourhood) where their animal was, and marched up to their door and got them back.

So, like Maddie said, don't give up yet! There's still a chance....


--------------------
"I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you."

[center]~Anonymous~


<div align="center">"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"[/center]

~Fleur Conkling Heylinger~


>^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^<


"For one species to mourn the death of another is a noble thing"

~Aldo Leopold~

<span style='font-size:9pt;line-height:100%'>Life is life - whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage. ~Sri Aurobindo

Spay now or pay later, the interest is killing us.


</span></div>
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Mink&WillowsMom
post Oct 27 2007, 07:56 PM
Post #15





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 340
Joined: 19-June 06
From: Western Washington
Member No.: 1,750



Hi Chloe's Mom,
Keep hope. A friend of mine had her dog stolen, and posted flyers locally. Finally, after 3 weeks or so, her friend posted a flyer in town, 9 miles away at the grocery store. A FedEx driver saw it, recognized the dog, and took the flyer to a man another 15 miles away who had found the dog. Turns out someone had kidnapped him, then decided he was too much to handle and dumped him downtown. The second gent found the dog, and living clear in the next town, hadn't seen any flyers yet to know how to get him home. In all, the dog was gone nearly five weeks, then gleefully returned home.

Yes, I too found Harry and Valorie and Willow a pleasure to work with. They helped me come to terms with Twitch's disappearance (see Going to Hire a K9 Search Team).

Your best tool right now is publicity. Contact all the local schools with flyers to circulate to students, and offer a reward. A dog that cute was very likely brought home to a family with kids. Contact the media, get a story in the paper. If you have a Consumer Fixit or Community Interest reporter at the TV stations, call them and explain your situation. The most they can say is 'no.' If it's a slow news week, who knows, they might run it as the "Awww" story on the 5 o'clock news. We've seen those stories before, may as well be Chloe this time. If someone sees her, and there is a reward, there's every reason to say something and collect the cash. So the key is making sure EVERYONE sees her. If there's a particular reporter you've seen that takes these stories, then call and ask for her/him specifically.

www.katu.com/
www.koin.com
www.kgw.com
www.kpdx.com

Contact churches too. Full of kind-hearted souls who spend time interacting with their neighbors, and know about the cute little dog they just got. Make Chloe famous in Portland; it's your best bet, and IT CAN BE DONE IF YOU JUST DO IT. Call each station (better yet, go in person, if you're close enough to downtown), find out who the Human Interest story editor is, then talk with that person. Tell him/her that you have a heart-tugging lost dog story with a really cute dog that will make for great viewer interest (aka, after-the-commercial ratings), and oh-by-the-way you could help heal a broken heart here. Because she's so cute, ("and I'd like to send an email photo while we're on the phone, what is your email address?") they can use it as the teaser before the commercial. "And after we come back, you too can help find this little doggy." Make sure they understand it'll be good visual story for retaining ratings at the commercial break. The fact that your heart is broken is not the selling point -- your story's ability to retain or boost ratings that evening is.

Ask Harry about publicity connections too. He's had to deal with a lot of politics, and likely knows some of the go-to names that might be helpful. You'd have to ask him, but I'm guessing positive publicity about his team would be welcome, so he might have some enthusiasm in helping you figure how who to contact.

As for your daughter, man, I don't know what to say. It reminds me of the first time I recognized that a friend, someone I loved dearly, literally did not view the world the same way I did. I was stunned. Up until then, I didn't realize there were people who simply don't get it about grief. And there are those who don't get it about pets, and how deeply precious our relationships are. They are lovely people in so many ways, and coming to realize they DO view the world differently in this arena was a profound shock. It's the first time I grasped that there are lots of different ways to be wired in this world, not just like I am. On the other hand, your daughter may understand COMPLETELY, and just be wanting to shove you away from your sorrow because it scares her. <pause> Oh, and now that I see how young she is, she's only just getting to the age in brain development where she's developing abstract /philosophical reasoning. This really doesn't bloom until ages 16-17, so she may literally be developmentally green in learning how to process what you're going through. Besides, most teenagers at that point believe their parents exist for the sole purpose of embarrassing them.

But please know, WE get it. Every last desperate, silly, overwhelming bit of it. Glad you found us. Let's see if we can bring Chloe home!

~Kimberly
PS: oh, and yes I also support the idea of calling Hilary. (www.calmpet.com, or hilary@calmpet.com) She's $105 for lost pet consult. You can look through my earlier post for my experience with her.


--------------------
...You precious children, of four feet, whiskers, and mischief...
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Chloe's Mom
post Oct 31 2007, 09:43 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 10
Joined: 23-October 07
Member No.: 3,815



Two weeks ago today Chloe went missing. I've continued searching for her and my heart still cries out for her.

This evening I received a message from our local animal shelter........ an officer brought in a dog early this evening that fits the description of Chloe. I went to their website. They have a pretty bad picture of the dog, and it doesn't show the dog's face, but it looks just like Chloe. I'm trying to not get my hopes up, but I'm about 95% sure that it's Chloe.

The shelter opens at 10am tomorrow. I'll be there when they open!

With God's help, Chloe will be back home tomorrow.

-Chloe's Mom
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Mink&WillowsMom
post Oct 31 2007, 11:11 PM
Post #17





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 340
Joined: 19-June 06
From: Western Washington
Member No.: 1,750



Fingers crossed, toes crossed, prayers sent, light wrapped.
I know better than to suggest a good night's sleep tonight, but I hope you get some rest.
Lessee, KY is Central time zone, so 10a your time is 8a my time. I leave for work at 9:30a, so I'll check in the morning if there's a post from you yet. We'll all be waiting with baited breath! ~Kimberly


--------------------
...You precious children, of four feet, whiskers, and mischief...
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Chloe's Mom
post Nov 1 2007, 12:56 PM
Post #18





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 10
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Chloe is back Home!!!!!!

I will write more this evening but now I need to get to work. I just wanted everyone to know that she is home.

-Chloe's Mom
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Furkidlets' Mom
post Nov 1 2007, 01:09 PM
Post #19





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 1,208
Joined: 21-June 05
From: Canada
Member No.: 961



FABULOUS!!! You're VERY lucky and so is Chloe.


--------------------
"I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you."

[center]~Anonymous~


<div align="center">"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"[/center]

~Fleur Conkling Heylinger~


>^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^<


"For one species to mourn the death of another is a noble thing"

~Aldo Leopold~

<span style='font-size:9pt;line-height:100%'>Life is life - whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage. ~Sri Aurobindo

Spay now or pay later, the interest is killing us.


</span></div>
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katzen11
post Nov 1 2007, 01:37 PM
Post #20





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 340
Joined: 16-June 07
From: European Union
Member No.: 3,125



Chloe is back home !!! biggrin.gif
( just got the email notification )
wonderful
i bet you cannot wait to be with Chloe again when you are coming home
i love those good news
eva


--------------------
in loving memory of my sweet babycat Felice
+ 8 december 2006
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