2 Wks With Out You

Pumpkin, I miss you so very much. Yesterday was your 2wk bridge day. I just couldnt write to you, I just couldnt see through my tears. Than out of the blue, Missy came and sat with me. I know she misses you. We had a talk and I let Spirit out to play with her. She actually played. I know she misses you. She is showing her age since you have been gone. Her coat looks so good now though, since she isnt grooming you, she started grooming herself. I miss you more than words can express. I just havent had the strength to set up your memorial, though I did do your website. That took so much strength which I feel I just dont have. Aunt Allison is coming over today to say goodbye. She is moving half way across the country. I feel so lonely without you. You were always my strength and comfort and now I have no one. I keep reliving those last few days. Thinking all these "what ifs...." they are driving me mad. I know you are at the bridge playing, happy and healthy. Though that thought brings comfort to my head, my heart still aches for you.

I wish I could see you, feel you one last time.
I wish I could hold you smell you one last time.
I wish I could touch you kiss you one last time.
I wish I could play with you one last time.
I feel so angry so hurt and scared.
I feel so lonely and crazy.
I would trade anything to be with you if
even just for one moment
to tell you all the things I think you didnt know
But you do know, I know you know
You saved my life, you saved my soul.
I love you and miss you so very much.

Love your Mommie

Please Visit My Pumpkins Memorial

Please visit my memorial.....
Any comments would really help how I am feeling right now. Please.....Pumpkin Memorial

Thank you...I am just really hurting right now and I could use some support...

1 Week Bridge Day For Pumpkin

Pumpkin my Mr. P,
I just wanted to tell you how much I truely miss and love you. I wanted to thank you for all you have shown me and given me in the time we had together. It wasn't long enough, not even close, but I hold that time close to my heart. I think about you all the time...I am begining to smile, something I never thought I would do again.
I want to thank you for the gift you sent to me in the form of a little kitten that was in dire need of love and a home. You knew he would be the one that would start to heal my heart...He is a tribute to you for no one could ever take your place. He has helped me be able to sleep again. I have your picture on my nightstand, which I kiss and talk too...Spirit keeps rubbing up against it and playing with your picture. I think he knows you.
I still cant believe your gone, I keep calling Missy, Pumpkin. She misses you so...I cant believe that she is handling Spirit as well as she is. I think she talks to you...the 2 of you always had your little talks.
Rachel, misses you so much, she cant really express it as Daddy and I do, but she started taking her black stuffed kitty cat toy to bed with her, she askes for you in her own way. I tell her you are playing in the sky waiting for us. It makes me cry...When she sees you picture she hugs and kisses it. I miss how you would rub up against her and wrap your tail around her face as you would walk by her. She misses hugging your soft fur...as do I.
You were the best cat anyone could have ever asked for, you were so paitent, you helped me be a mom, you taught me so much....I dont how to thank you for all you have done for me. I am sorry I am rabbling on, but I have so much I want to say to you and you left me so fast I feel like I didnt get the chance to tell or show you. I pray that you know how much I love you. Letting you go was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but when you looked at me it was in your eyes..."let me go mom". When I took you to be pts, and you just let me cradle you, I knew you were in so much pain...when the time had come you just drifted away as you put your head down in my hand. You were out of pain, I promised you I would make it stop hurting. You were my child, my best friend and my soul mate. I will miss and love you until we meet again.
Love you always
Mommie

I Lost My Soul Mate

I lost my soul mate on the 11th, I have been crying nonstop. Everytime I think about him, see a picture, find a toy, or feed my other cat, I just break down....nobody seems to understand. I love my husband but he is getting so annoyed with me....I cant help how I feel, I cant just stop hurting....I feel so lost... he taught me how to be a mother before I was a mother, he was my best friend. Whenever I was sad he was the one who comforted me....he isnt here to do that now, I feel so very alone, the most I have ever felt before. I have actually been crying so hard I am getting sick....I just cant stop....He was around before my husband, my children my whole life is different....I cant sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see his last moments....I just need to talk...to somebody who will listen