Hello Laura and all friends: hope every day it's getting easier. This is horrible. Tomorrow will be two weeks that my Baby went to sleep. I can't believe it. I'm ok and then I'm NOT. I cry at the drop of a hat. When I wake up, I sit there and look around like I'm in a daze, thinking Baby will be walking around the corner. Breakfast time is rough, I'm so used to sharing with her. Since I have no esophagus, I can eat/drink very little at a time. And I would always give Baby some of whatever I was trying to eat. And while cooking I keep looking behind me and "sensing" something. A friend did something nice for me and wanted to sit and talk and I was overwhelmed and started crying and said we'd have to do this later, because I started to cry. I've received a couple cards in the mail which was really thoughtful. I'm still holding one of Baby's pillows she used to push around on the floor to make a "bed" or to put her chin on. I look at her pics in my cell phone over and over. Pulling in the drive and not seeing her waiting for me is such an empty feeling. I kiss her fur or touch her resting place and talk to her. I don't care, no one hears me. I have 2 sons with me, and generally someone is here, depending on schedules. They are supportive of me and of course can't handle seeing me cry and try to get me to laugh. I hope you all are doing well where ever you are. My heart aches for the people dealing with Sandy..I can't even imagine. Be safe everyone, blessings to you all and all our furry friends.


Maryann aka BabySweets
Ohio/ where we only had power outage a few hrs., and loads of rain and wind/cold.

Maryann,
I'm so very sorry for your loss. The love you have for Baby is so clear in your post. Monday will be one week since my dog Wolfie went to the angels. It is so very hard. And yes, to see the devastation that sandy has inflicted upon so many who are close to me is almost more than my mind can process right now. I'll be thinking of you and wish you some measure of peace in the coming days.
-Kelly

I am so sorry Maryann. I just lost my Lucymae three weeks ago. It's still really hard. I feel like someone punched me in the gut. She was with me for 16 long years.

They say the pain will lessen in time but we will never forget our loved ones. I try to stay really busy so I am not in pain all day. I am seeing a grief counselor and created a memorial for her on www.pets-memories.com. Maybe doing a pet memorial with help some with the grieving.

I know are little friends are in a much better place now. Why they have such short lives I don't know. Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and you are not alone in your pain.

Hugs,

Lynn

Hi MaryAnn,

I'm glad to hear things are getting easier for you, even if it is a slow process. It's been two weeks for me too and I'm still thinking about Zena and Zeus often and having dreams of them. Coming on here has been therapeutic, but it also makes me break down and cry, so… But that's okay, it's all a part of missing them. Don't worry about how it may look to touch her resting place or to talk to her. You know what would be called odder than that? It's when I walked over to our sofa, Zena's favorite resting place and the place where she was put down, and I leaned over to smell the cushion, because I could still smell her scent on it. Call it crazy, but I needed to do that to feel closer to her. You are fortunate to have a close network of friends and family who are being supportive. My thoughts are with you and wish everyone here peace and serenity with every day that passes.

Hugs,

Laura

Hi, Maryann, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to add my encouragement that what you are experiencing is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. It is good that you are doing what brings comfort to YOU -- and TOTALLY agree that it does not matter what other people may think.

Clinical professionals recognize that the physical loss of a companion is as painful, if not more so, as the loss of a human family member or friend. Unfortunately, our society in general, and sadly some of the people who are the closest to us, do not - - or don't know how to be supportive. I sincerely hope and pray that you find comfort, encouragement, support, and hope from each of us here - - for we DO understand what you are going through.
During the deep grief our emotions are completely uncontrollable, which will ease with time. It is important that you give yourself the opportunity to release your grief for the tears you cry are literally healing tears -- they literally release the toxins that build up in the body from the stress of grieving. I know right now it seems like your tears are endless - - but as one of our correspondents once shared they are diamonds that reflect the beautiful prism of eternal love you and your beloved Baby share.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Maryann, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Baby's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam