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> My Cat Jeannie Passed Away In My Arms ......., Having a hard time with it all
Jay T
post May 28 2009, 09:12 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 42
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Hi everybody ,im new to the board. My cat Jeannie just passed away in my arms it is completely devastating i cant believe it ,i feel so empty and crying so hard about her.over a year ago jeannie was diagnosed whit diabetes she was drinking a lot of water and getting thinner ,the vets told me its a very treatable illness,i was so relieved thats she was goona be ok whit the insulin ,i brang her to vets back and fourth a few times ,for her to get regulated on insulin,during that time i was worried a lot though always watching her making sure shes ok.

Somtimes during my break at my job i would go home really fast just to check up on her always worried that if somthing happened i wanted to be there ,i gave her the shots ,tested her ,feed her wet food it went well for over a year,she was back to her old self doing great.Then about a month ago i noticed she wasent eating that much ,didnt seem herself so i brought her to the vets they did some tests and found out her kidneys where failing,and she got more thin,they said she had CRF(chronic renal failure)she was dehydrated also ,they keeped her there over nite her there over nite on iv ,and 3 more days she got better,i went to the vets to see her the next day she was so happy to see me see jumped up when she saw me and the vet said ,shes very happy to see you ,i petted her and stood there for a while whit her then i came back later to pick her up at later that nite then brang her home , and they showed me how to give her sub qs (fulids)she was doing fine,she was happy to be home again she ran and jumped back to her fav spot and purred i was so happy and releaved,and she fell sleep next to me as usual.


Then i noticed about a week later she stopped eating as much, then stoped eating anything i tried to feed her,tuna,baby food,she wouldnt eat, i tried to force feed her some food with a syringe but she still didnt want it ,all she wanted was water but ,as each day went on she seemed to get worse and worse she wasent moving as much,very restless ,and in pain it seemed like , i tried so hard to help her,then she could barley move,she would take 2 steps then fall on her side ,i was so upset and devastated,i know her time was almost up when i looked in her eyes and and saw that she couldn't go on anymore i picked her up and sat on the couch with her i knew this was it ,she was meowing a bit then started breathing fast then slow ,each min getting more and more wobbly,i was crying,telling her please don't diee ,please jeannie get better i love you i told her crying, then i wanted her to see me comfort her and not cry it was hard ,this went on for over 2 hours,then every few min she would make a loud noise like she was breathing out ,her body seemed like lifeless,i was in total shock ,i held her telling her i love her and it will be ok and kissed her,then she was shaking her leg up and down then stopped ,her breathing got more slow ,it seemed like her body was shutting down ,then she made a gasp sounds a few times then she then made like a soft purr sound and passed away in my arms,and fell to the side of my chest ,i went into like a panic,it didnt seem real, i broke down in tears crying, it all seemed so surreal, I had to leave her on the couch until the morning until the vets open up,it was so hard for me to see that she passed away like that. i covered with her favorite blanket ,i cried all morining long waiting for the vet to open up looking at her every few min it was so emotinal .then i brang her to the vets so they can creamate her ,it was so hard. i put her in a box and walked her to the vets crying in the streets ,when got the vets i said my last good-byes to her before they took the box, it was unbelivable, i couldnt even talk.

When i got home i looked her fav spot and it hit me like a ton of bricks, that jeannie wasent comming home again! i felt like i was going in like a slow motion,i couldnt belive it , i complety broke down and cried so hard i fell to the floor ,its like i couldnt even breath i cried so hard,i never felt like this about anything ever and cried so much about anything, n and i still cant belive shes gone,like everthing reminds me of her, Jeannie was my best friend,she was awlays there and such a good cat .i loved her so much she made me so happy, she couldnt wait for me to get home she would always greet me ,i know i wont get over her,this house will never be the same,she always sleeped next to me,and all the happy times we went trough for 20 years,but now shes not suffering any more, shes at peace , i did everthing i can to save her ,,mabey she needed more fulids or another nite at the vets on iv i dont know what els i could have done, to watch her so helpless like that was so sadd the vet said some day the fulids that shes getting wont have an affect when her kidneys get worse,theres a huge emptyness in my heart now, i just have buddy now my other cat hes 2 and jeannie was like his big sister,he will be looking for her around the house they always sleeped together. I got to spend a few last days whit her though in the back yard taking some last pictures on a beautfuil sunny day .,but i know now that it wont ever be the same without her ,the summer ,christmas ,etc ..all the things she was here for, but im greatful that i was there for her last moments when she passed and she was not at the vets or by her self and i alway prayed that when she does go i wanted to be there to comfort her and i was,,im sorry im talking up so much space talking but i really dont know how to cope with all this now its so very very hard ,everthing seems so different now without her like its not real ,its overwhelming its like im totaly out of it .I havent stopped crying since ,i cant stop thinking about it i feel so sad its awful .She was my best friend for 20 years and now shes not here anymore,im stuck its like you dont know how to go on, you dont know where to go from here its like now ... THANKS JAY
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Hslesgirl
post May 28 2009, 10:01 PM
Post #2





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 37
Joined: 19-April 09
Member No.: 5,707



Dear Jay,

I am so very sorry for your loss. You have definitely found the right place, and please don't apologize for writing a lengthy post. That's what this forum is for. I know exactly how you are feeling and I only wish there was something profound I could say to ease your pain. You should take comfort in the fact that you did everything humanly possible for Jeannie and it was just her time to get her wings. I know it sounds trite and I resented it every time someone has said that to me over the last 6 weeks. Over time you just have to learn to accept it. It doesn't mean it hurts any less. That's why we are all in this together. We'e all suffered a loss and we come here to express our grief, anger and loneliness. The sympathy and support offered by those who have gotten here before us is amazing! 6 weeks ago my dog Austin died suddenly of a heart attack while playing ball with my husband. He was only 7 years old. I truly felt like my heart was broken. I hurt so bad I could barely breathe. I know what you are feeling right now. I have to be honest and admit that I barely remember the first 2 weeks after his passing. It's all a blur of horrible crying bouts and Xanax induced sleep. (Fortunately my doctor was smart enough to only give me a couple of Xanax at a low dose just so I could get some sleep.) I didn't eat more than a croissant a day. The hole left in my heart was awful and I didn't know how to cope. When I found this website and poured out all my grief and pain, the response I got overwhelmed me. Every day seems to get a little better than the last and all I can say is take it one day at a time. I have moments when I backslide. I've had a bad day today of missing my baby horribly and crying off and on all night. It's still so hard to comprehend that I just will never see him again in this life. He was so sweet and gentle and everyone who met him loved him. I still sleep with his stuffed bunny that I bought him for easter because he brought it to bed with him every night. Each of us has our own coping mechanisms and you'll find yours over the next few days. These first few are the hardest. Please know that you have a huge support system at this forum. Only people who have loved and lost a pet can understand the depth of the grief we feel when they leave us. Write often and let us know how you are doing. Or just write and say you're feeling crappy. I'll keep you in my prayers tonight and pray that you find some peace.

Hugs,
Carol
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Bue's Mommy
post May 28 2009, 11:42 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 479
Joined: 7-August 07
Member No.: 3,362



Hi Jay, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Jeannie sounded like an incredible kitty cat.
Wow, 20 yrs is amazing, you're so lucky to have that
kind of time with your baby. I love the pic of her.
I watched my kitty die too, it's so painful. I still hurt.
It will take you some time to try to heal. I hope in time
you can think more about the good times you had with Jeannie.

Take Care


--------------------
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MissingJoey
post May 28 2009, 11:51 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
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Jay: I am very sorry for your loss. We lost our kitty cat Joey last Tuesday, May 19th. It's true, the support from people here is very helpful. Please share whatever you need to and someone will be here to answer.
The one thing that touched me is when you mentioned how you kept trying to feed your cat and tried new things, hoping she'd eat. I also went through that with Joey. He wasn't eating much the week before he died, and it was so hard and frustrating because I saw that he was getting skinnier and I wanted so much to find something he'd eat. We found the dry food that all our cats used to like, and thought that would get him back on track. I tried treats that I thought were his favorite, and I bought kitty milk and also gave it to him through a syringe, and I tried real tuna. Every time he got up and seemed interested, I thought "this is it! he's going to eat", but he'd nibble and turn away. So sad and hard to watch. We miss him terribly, and always will. Sadly, we only had the joy of knowing him for about 4 months. We had just adopted him in January. He was only about 8 months old. Poor little guy. But we were blessed to have him for the time we did. Anyway, again, I'm sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and write anytime! <3 you Joey!
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patricia
post May 29 2009, 12:33 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
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hi jay. im so sorry for your loss. boy can i relate. my kitty was diagnosed with diabetes about four months before he passed away. like you i rushed home to give him his insulin every nite. fred was so sweet. when he got diagnosed, i didnt have a clue how i was going to give him his insulin shot, let alone two a day. but he seemed to know and after i gave him a little food, which like you included baby food or pumpkin, he would run to my bed and crouch down for his shot. my neigbor had a cat that was 18 and had lived with diabetes for three years. i was thrilled. fred was only fourteen so i figured i had many more years with him. my life took a drastic change, as i couldnt stay late at work anymore, meeting friends ceased, well, all social events would have to stop but i didnt care. as long as my fred was by my side. but unfortunately it didnt last. a few months after he was diagnosed, he took a turn for the worse. he died three days later as his kidneys too shut down. he died in my arms right after they gave him the sedative. i know how you feel. i know the pain you are feeling and i know about the big hole you have in your heart. please know how lucky you were to have had your little one for 20 years. how lucky you BOTH were to have each other. shes in a great place now. with my little fred. they are running together, can you see it? its a beautiful day, the sun is shining but there is a gentle breeze and your jeannie is having the time of her life. she isnt suffering anymore and she has many new friends. keep on writing. thats how i got thru it. you are not alone.

you are in my prayers.
patricia
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Scarlett
post May 29 2009, 12:53 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
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I am so sorry for your loss. There are really no words to express how sorry I am that you have lost your friend. Having only lost my kitty friend less than a week ago, I am still in intense grieving and it hurts so much. So I understand - I really do. Hugs to you. You are not alone.
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AngelCareOne
post May 29 2009, 05:28 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
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From: Florida
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PLEASE PARDON ALL CAP LETTERS. I'M TYPING WITH ONE HAND AND IT'S EASIER FOR ME. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING ...

DEAREST JAY, I'M SO TERRIBLY SORRY THIS HAPPENED TO YOUR FUR BABY JEANNIE AND YOU, TOO. IF YOU'RE ANYTHING LIKE MYSELF, THERE ARE ACTUALITY TIMES DURING YOUR PAIN, GRIEF AND DEVASTATION THAT YOU LITERALLY FORGET TO INHALE FOR SORELY NEEDED OXYGEN. PLEASE ACCEPT MY MOST SINCERE AND DEEPEST CONDOLENCES THAT YOUR PRECIOUS FUR ANGEL JEANNIE HAS CROSSED OVER TO THE RAINBOW BRIDGE. AND, 20 YEARS IS LONGER THAN I'VE EVER HAD A DEAR FRIEND THAT I WASN'T RELATED TO. I CAN HEAR YOUR HEART BREAKING AND SEE YOUR TEARS.

JAY, I'M GOING TO SHARE A COUPLE OR THREE THINGS I'VE WITNESSED MYSELF AS WELL AS OTHERS WHEN SERVING AS A NURSE IN THE HUMAN MEDICAL FIELD FOR OVER 26 YEARS AND IN ANIMAL RESCUE AND REHABILITATION FOR GOING ON 30 YEARS. I PROMISE ALL IS TRUE AND WILL EVEN DIRECT YOU TO DIFFERENT WEBSITES OF RELIABLE SOURCES WHERE PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME HAVE EXPERIENCED SOME REALLY AMAZING THINGS AFTER OUR FUR KIDS PASSED OVER.

YOU SEE, THEY ARE STILL VERY NEAR AND MANY TIMES POP IN TO VISIT YOU ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THE VERY STRONG BOND BETWEEN YOURSELF AND YOUR FUR CHILD JEANNIE. NO, I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP. I PROMISE. JAY, YOU MAY NOT EVEN BE AWARE AT TIMES WHEN JEANNIE IS PAYING YOU A VISIT. BUT, IF YOU SIT OR LIE DOWN VERY STILL AND QUIETLY, DON'T BE SURPRISED IF YOU HEAR HER PURR OR FEEL HER FUR BRUSH UP AGAINST YOU SHOWING AFFECTION. YOU DON'T NEED TO CONCENTRATE AT ALL. JUST BE VERY STILL, QUIET, LISTEN. IT PROBABLY HAS ALREADY HAPPENED TO YOU BUT BEING AS GRIEF STRICKEN AS YOU ARE, YOU MAY NOT HAVE NOTICED ...

YOU ARE A WONDERFUL FUR KID MOMMY!!! PLEASE NEVER FORGET THAT! ALSO KNOW THAT NOW AND FOREVER YOU CARRY HER HEART IN YOUR HEART. JAY, SHE'S ONLY A BREATH AWAY AND A BREATH AWAY IS NOT FAR AT ALL TO YOU WHERE JEANNIE IS AT THIS VERY MOMENT. HONEST AND FOR TRUE. I DON'T KNOW IF YOUR PC HAS THE CAPABILITY OF WATCHING AND LISTENING TO VIDEOS BUT JOSH GROBAN'S SONG SAYS IT PERFECTLY ...

SO, PLEASE CLICK ON THE PHOTO OF YOUR SWEET ANGEL FUR CHILD JEANNIE AND I'LL COPY AND PASTE THE LYRICS JUST IN CASE, DEAR ONE. PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO TURN UP YOUR VOLUME ...


PLEASE CLICK ON JEANNIE ANGEL FUR KID




"To Where You Are"

Who can say for certain maybe you're still here.
I feel you all around me. Your memory's so clear.
Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak.
You're still an inspiration.
Can it be ...

That you are my Forever Love. And you are watching over me from up above!

Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star.
I wish upon tonight to see you smile!
If only for a while to know you're there.
A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping here inside my dream?
And isn't faith believing all power can't be seen.
As my heart holds you just one beat away, I cherish all you gave me everyday!

'Cause you are my Forever Love watching me from up above.
And I believe that Angels breathe and that love will live on and never leave!

Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant star!
I wish upon tonight to see you smile.
If only for a while to know you're there.
A breath away's not far to where you are!

I know you're there! A breath away's not far to where you are!




MANY COMFORTING HUGS!!! wub.gif wub.gif wub.gif

ALWAYS,
Dottie xoxoxox
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moon_beam
post May 29 2009, 06:08 PM
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Hi, Jay, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathis in the loss of your beloved Jeannie. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Jay, you did everything humanly and humanely possible for your beloved Jeannie to help keep her healthy and happy in her life with you. I have worked in hospice. When the physical body is actively shutting down, as what was happening with your beloved Jeannie, it is actually harmful to try to force feed because the body cannot process the food - - it then gets backed into the system as poison. So, when our furkids adamantly refuse to eat, this is a sign that their body cannot handle processing the food. I know this is very hard. I have gone through the same thing with my precious companions through the years, and as recently as 29 months ago with my 6 year old number one kitty son, Eli, who had to be euthanized due to end stage Lymphoma. Losing a beloved companion is one of the hardest expeirences we can ever know in our life time. Our companions give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and we surrender ourselves to them completely without hesitation and reservation. That is one of the many reasons why it feels like they take a part of us with them to heaven's perfect garden - - the better part of us that we committed only to them. And this is one of the many reasons why we are so devastated and feel so empty without them, particularly in the beginning grief healing journey. The stages of grief for the loss of our beloved companions are the same as what we go through when we lose a human family member or friend. It is a one day at a time journey, Jay. Sometimes it's a one minute at a time journey just to get through to the next minute, and the next minute. I am very grateful for the restroom at work so that I could hide myself away for a few minutes to collect myself so that I could go back to my desk and resume my work. And then there were the gut wrenching sobs driving to and from work. Jay, your home is changed - - without a doubt. It must feel like the house structure itself is mourning the loss of Jeannie's physical presence. Scientific studies have shown that every living being has an individual chemical "electricity" that interacts with other household members and the environment. When this interaction is no longer present - - for whatever reason - - the physical and emotional nature of the household changes in an attempt to adjust to this missing interaction. But even though Jeannie's physical presence is no longer there, I hope someday you will come to know that her sweet living Spirit is still with you as she always has been and always will be. Your relationship has simply temporarily changed to a different dimension. But it's going to take awhile for you to come to understand that you can still talk to her and she is still listening as intently as she always has. She is still with you in your heart and your memories forever a part of you. Jay, this grief healing journey is both physical and emotional, so it is important for you to do whatever is helpful and comforting for you, particularly in the deep grief moments. When my Eli joined the angels I slept with his collar under my pillow, and held onto it or one of his blankets or his ashes when I was experiencing a deep grief moment - - which was frequently in the beginning. And it is very important for you to understand that you are not alone in this grief healing journey. Each of us here does understand how you are feeling, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Jay, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Jay T
post May 30 2009, 03:39 PM
Post #9





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 42
Joined: 21-May 09
Member No.: 5,796



Hi everybody ,i just wanted to say thank you everybody,to all you very kind people for all your condolences and what happend with your pets and how you felt and what you did to get through it ,and thank you for taking the time to do that to jeannies pic angel its beautiful,that was very nice of you, people here understand what its like going through all this , it really means a lot to me .im happy i found a place like this to talk about it all ,not many people seem to understand as a few people i know told me "dont keep thinking about it ,its just a cat, she was old etc ",and things like that, i told a person at my job and she just nodded her head and said ,is that why you seem so upset .like it was nothing i got very upset but some people just dont understand the bond of love and caring a person has with there pets.The the unconditional love that out pets give us that many people do not,is the hardest part of it, I know shes in a better place now, but that empty feeling i feel i will always have when i think about her.im still very sad but i know it will be a long time before i can start to feel a bit better,i want to get another cat so buddy has a friend again but its way to soon,i still keep her little blanket on my bed when i sleep .and its like you dont want to change a lot of things after its like you want to leave it like when she was still here i still have her iv bag hanging up ,i have some last video and pictures of her before she passed i havent watched them yet i feel it would be to sad now , i know each person is different ,but if anybody can answer how long did it take for you to wake up and start the day and not be so sad or cry about it about it ? THANKS JAY
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Scarlett
post May 30 2009, 11:43 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 41
Joined: 25-May 09
Member No.: 5,806



QUOTE (Jay T @ May 30 2009, 02:39 PM) *
i know each person is different ,but if anybody can answer how long did it take for you to wake up and start the day and not be so sad or cry about it about it ? THANKS JAY


I still wake up feeling sad, and it has been a week. But the 12-hour (!) scrapbooking class today really got my mind in new positive directions (other than my cats, horse and Callym's memory - all great motivators) for the first time all week. As you know, I am taking the workshop first and foremost so I can make a scrapbook tribute of Callym and his life - at the workshop I am also working on pages for my other 5 cats, and it is great to work and think about them all day and designing pages for them, and then come home to those furry friends and my Callym's spirit. *Very* therapeutic for healing, and I do recommend this if you have any inclincations to photographs, design and pretty things.

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Boheme
post Jun 1 2009, 11:32 AM
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Group: Pet Lovers
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I'm so very sorry for your loss. There is nothing more you could have done for Jeannie - your kitty was telling you it was time - time to pass over, but Jeannie has left you with 20 wonderful years full of memories, so she'll never really die, only her physical presence won't be with you now. Please give yourself time to grieve, and I'm afraid it will take awhile before the pain lessens somewhat. Every person needs to cope in their own way, take as long as you need and come here as often as you need - it is certainly a safe place to cry, vent, describe your feelings, and let others know about your wonderful Jeannie.
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Jay T
post Jun 4 2009, 04:19 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 42
Joined: 21-May 09
Member No.: 5,796



Thank you all again ,i got jeannies ashes back from the vets and it was very emotional and yes it is harder that i thought it would be,i just felt very numb and empty when i picked it up, it came in like little wooden box with a lock on it , with keys ,a certificate and a card ,i cried when i read it beacuse it all seems so final,i haven't opened it up yet though.i still wake up very sad and have tears in my eyes when im getting my coffee ,jeannie would always wait for me to get up and we would go to the kitchen together,its so hard beacuse so many things remind me of her ,im like a mess at work ,i just hold a lot of it in and havent told many people at all yet.My only other cat now buddy hasn't been himself since jeannie passed he keeps looking all over the place,and sitting on the table looking at the door and out the window,he always did that when jeannie was going back and forth to the vets,the day she stayed overnite at the vets he stayed all day and nite on the table waiting for her to come home i feel he knows now though,cats are very smart and intuitive.I put her ashes for now where she used to sleep on the couch with a picture of her when she was a kitten,with a toy and a locket of her fur,i feel some sense of peace that part of her is back home,but its also very sad and depressing for it to be like that also.Sometimes you get angry about it all,then sad again,all different emotions back and forth, iit really is like an emotional roller coster,after so much crying you start to feel very empty and like numb,its like part of you passed with them when they leave you., its like you dont feel like doing anything and have enjoyment from anything. Anybody els feel also after all that it makes you like not the same again?? like part of you will always feel the pain about it? THANKS JAY
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arkania
post Jun 5 2009, 09:09 AM
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Group: Pet Lovers
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Member No.: 5,828



QUOTE (Jay T @ Jun 4 2009, 05:19 PM) *
Thank you all again ,i got jeannies ashes back from the vets and it was very emotional and yes it is harder that i thought it would be,i just felt very numb and empty when i picked it up, it came in like little wooden box with a lock on it , with keys ,a certificate and a card ,i cried when i read it beacuse it all seems so final,i haven't opened it up yet though.i still wake up very sad and have tears in my eyes when im getting my coffee ,jeannie would always wait for me to get up and we would go to the kitchen together,its so hard beacuse so many things remind me of her ,im like a mess at work ,i just hold a lot of it in and havent told many people at all yet.My only other cat now buddy hasn't been himself since jeannie passed he keeps looking all over the place,and sitting on the table looking at the door and out the window,he always did that when jeannie was going back and forth to the vets,the day she stayed overnite at the vets he stayed all day and nite on the table waiting for her to come home i feel he knows now though,cats are very smart and intuitive.I put her ashes for now where she used to sleep on the couch with a picture of her when she was a kitten,with a toy and a locket of her fur,i feel some sense of peace that part of her is back home,but its also very sad and depressing for it to be like that also.Sometimes you get angry about it all,then sad again,all different emotions back and forth, iit really is like an emotional roller coster,after so much crying you start to feel very empty and like numb,its like part of you passed with them when they leave you., its like you dont feel like doing anything and have enjoyment from anything. Anybody els feel also after all that it makes you like not the same again?? like part of you will always feel the pain about it? THANKS JAY


Jay, I know exactly how you feel. You'll see my post earlier about Mason whom I lost last weekend. I miss him so much, that I'm so completely lost without him. I'm dreading getting his ashes...and they did a mould of his paw print. I know it's going to be rough, but that's all I have left of him.

Hang in there. Just know that we share in your pain and know exactly what it feels like. sad.gif

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patricia
post Jun 5 2009, 07:53 PM
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Joined: 8-March 09
Member No.: 5,599



yes, i know what youre feeling. it is bittersweet to get the ashes back. although it made me feel better to know that fred and riley were home with me it also hurt to the core of my soul to know that they were gone and seeing their ashes on my shelf just re-enforced that. but as the days went by and i talked to them, i felt better. the grieving process is so different for everyone. i remember when riley passed away last year it took months and months before i was able to go a day without crying but even now i will have really bad days. the only difference is that they are interspersed with good days now. and then my fred passed away and i fell apart again. the desperation of knowing how long i would be grieving made everything so much worse but like an angel from heaven, into my lap fell little lucy, my new puppy that makes me so happy. it was like fred had sent her to me so that his momma wouldnt be so sad. three months have passed and my lucy makes me smile everyday. yes i have really bad days but my tears turned into smiles a lot sooner. it IS like a rollercoaster of emotions and there are days, (even with lucy) that i just want to stay in bed and cry. i did feel like how am i going to survive? the joys in my life are gone. but thru it all i believe fred sent me a message, telling me that there IS joy out there (and mine happened to be rolled up in a little crazy dog named lucy) and we have to go out there and find it. whatever it may be. (i love to write about my new adventures with lucy on "new beginnings"). freds vet called me soon after to offer her condolenses and she gave me a great idea: put a scrapbook together about fred. at first i thought how is that going to make me happy, but as i colect little things to put in it, i realize shes right. it brings back many happy memories. maybe you can do that too. i dont mean for this to sound trite believe me. but i want to express to you that what you are experiencing is perfectly normal. thinking that you will never be the same? well i have felt that everytime one of my babies passes. let yourself grieve but also try and remember the good times, make a scrapbook, write about your memories and your grief. from experience i can tell you that you will start to feel better. hang in there. i believe that the holes they leave in our hearts will always be there but its how we move forward that matters.
take care and know that you are not alone.
patricia
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Jay T
post Jun 7 2009, 04:31 PM
Post #15





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 42
Joined: 21-May 09
Member No.: 5,796



Hi ,and again thank you all I agree very ture that hole in our hearts and that emptiness will always be there,no matter how long time goes on,its like you never really get over it ,its like you just get used to it and try to move on from there never really the same again,one min you think your doing a bit better then it hits you again ,that happened to me when i was shopping all of a sudden i started crying very quietly, i really do feel when they leave, they also leave with a part of us ,i do cherish all thouse happy times i spent with jeannie and that will always be with me ,i also got her paw prints set in stone.i do want to get another cat but i feel if its to soon it makes me feel like im forgetting about jeannie and just movin on and that makes me sad beacuse all the greving is like the only link we have left with them,its not the best but its all we have now.its one day at a time to move on i feel .Did anybody els feel getting another pet soon after helped you move on ?or feel you should wait until had more time to deal with it all ?
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Bue's Mommy
post Jun 7 2009, 06:31 PM
Post #16





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 479
Joined: 7-August 07
Member No.: 3,362



Hi Jay, if your getting a cat for another feline in your household, then go for it.
If you're getting one for you, then I say it's too soon. If you feel you're ready, you will know.
You're right about never completely being over it. I equate it to a wound that never completely heals.

Take Care


--------------------
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patricia
post Jun 8 2009, 12:58 PM
Post #17





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 327
Joined: 8-March 09
Member No.: 5,599



hi jay, i dont know whether ive mentioned this or youve read my thread. but i got my lucy a week after fred (my cat) died. i wasnt looking for one and frankly i wasnt sure i would ever have another pet in my life. but lucy needed a forever home. she was only 6 and a half months and had been thru a tough time already so amidst the grief, i decided to try. the first day was just horrible and i remember calling my friends to come and get her and take her away. yet there was a moment when i was on the phone and she was all the way across the other room and she looked at me with her sad eyes and it seemed like she was begging me not to give her away again. it was that moment that i decided that i would keep her. it wasnt easy. i had the same feelings you have and i somehow wanted to let her know that i was doing this because i loved all animals but that she would never replace my fred. well, three months later, i cannot imagine my life without her. i love her so much, and you know what? she has NOT replaced my fred. fred will always have a place in my heart but im so glad i have my lucy. she makes me laugh and doesnt leave me too much time to cry, at least when im at home. (i miss fred every single day). now i have done it both ways. in the past i have waited till months and months before i have adopted another one and now i know that when this happens again, i will not wait. like i said, its not easy, but lucy has helped me move on. i love her to pieces, even if she chews on my arm to hamburger. so to answer your question, yes, it truly helped me. think about it. there are so many loving animals that need a forever home and you would be wonderful with them. you see, i believe that our hearts are so big and we have so much love to give. but you will always have a special place in your heart for jeannie. that will never go away and she will never be replaced. interestingly enough, yesterday lucy and i went to vist her gwamma, my mom and my mom had found some old photos she wanted me to take with me. as i was looking thru them i ran into a photo of my nephew when he graduated from highschool. that was about nine years ago. we had all gone to his graduation on the east coast (we live in the west) and had taken my little dog at that time "chiquita" and when i saw him holding her, i burst into tears and couldnt stop. my point is we never forget them and how special they are. they are always in your heart.
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Sammie girl'...
post Jun 11 2009, 01:28 PM
Post #18





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 82
Joined: 9-June 09
Member No.: 5,847



QUOTE (Hslesgirl @ May 28 2009, 10:01 PM) *
Dear Jay,

I am so very sorry for your loss. You have definitely found the right place, and please don't apologize for writing a lengthy post. That's what this forum is for. I know exactly how you are feeling and I only wish there was something profound I could say to ease your pain. You should take comfort in the fact that you did everything humanly possible for Jeannie and it was just her time to get her wings. I know it sounds trite and I resented it every time someone has said that to me over the last 6 weeks. Over time you just have to learn to accept it. It doesn't mean it hurts any less. That's why we are all in this together. We'e all suffered a loss and we come here to express our grief, anger and loneliness. The sympathy and support offered by those who have gotten here before us is amazing! 6 weeks ago my dog Austin died suddenly of a heart attack while playing ball with my husband. He was only 7 years old. I truly felt like my heart was broken. I hurt so bad I could barely breathe. I know what you are feeling right now. I have to be honest and admit that I barely remember the first 2 weeks after his passing. It's all a blur of horrible crying bouts and Xanax induced sleep. (Fortunately my doctor was smart enough to only give me a couple of Xanax at a low dose just so I could get some sleep.) I didn't eat more than a croissant a day. The hole left in my heart was awful and I didn't know how to cope. When I found this website and poured out all my grief and pain, the response I got overwhelmed me. Every day seems to get a little better than the last and all I can say is take it one day at a time. I have moments when I backslide. I've had a bad day today of missing my baby horribly and crying off and on all night. It's still so hard to comprehend that I just will never see him again in this life. He was so sweet and gentle and everyone who met him loved him. I still sleep with his stuffed bunny that I bought him for easter because he brought it to bed with him every night. Each of us has our own coping mechanisms and you'll find yours over the next few days. These first few are the hardest. Please know that you have a huge support system at this forum. Only people who have loved and lost a pet can understand the depth of the grief we feel when they leave us. Write often and let us know how you are doing. Or just write and say you're feeling crappy. I'll keep you in my prayers tonight and pray that you find some peace.

Hugs,
Carol



Hi Jay,

First let me tell you that everything you described you're feeling exactly describes me too. My sheltie, Sammie, died Saturday and I'm still in shock. I look for her everywhere. Some moments you feel like you are going over the deep end with grief and you may never come back. I honestly don't know how to go on right now. This site is the only thing keeping me functioning if that's what you call it. I hope each day has eased your pain if even a tiny fraction. I am so thankful that your baby was with you 20 years. That is a true gift my friend and I would have given anything for that. But no matter when they leave it devastates us and I'm praying for you and sending a hug. Your description of your beautiful girl really touched my heart and I wish I would have known her too.
Melanie
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Jay T
post Jun 11 2009, 08:38 PM
Post #19





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 42
Joined: 21-May 09
Member No.: 5,796



somtimes that does happen patricia .when your not really looking for a pet,they will find you and become your new pet ,thats great that it did help the greif,im still thinking if i should wait a bit longer though.hope its going well thanks again
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Jay T
post Jun 11 2009, 08:39 PM
Post #20





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 42
Joined: 21-May 09
Member No.: 5,796



the first few weeks,and months,are just so very,very hard you now have to get used to your pet not being there,and not doing all the things they did, and not there when you come home or wake up .I used to always rush to get home a lot, knowing that Jeannie would be there waiting,but know its like im not in a rush to get home beacuse i know when i do get home theres just an empty spot where she used to sit,the whole place seems different know,i still cry like almost every day and try so hard to think about all the happy times,but i cant stop thinking about her last day and if there was still a chance she could have got better,but she didn't,I found an old tape of jeannie when she was a kitten i cried when i watched it,it was both happy and painful ,but im happy i found it,when you come home and wake up knowing that your pets will be there is a very happy and comforting feeling ,now to come home and wake up and see an empty spot,is just very empty and sad thats hard,you try hard to think about all the happy times ,but its hard when there will be no more with jeannie and your just left like that.You feel so numb. Im thinking about doing like that scrapbook thing but i still cant seem to do that as of yet . THANKS JAY
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