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kmom
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Joined: 22-February 06
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Local Time: Mar 28 2024, 01:25 PM
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1 Jun 2006
Today would have been Kasey's 8th birthday and also 14 weeks since we had to put him down. It's been a rough day. It's hard to type even now.
I miss you so much Roo. Mom
23 Mar 2006
Five weeks ago this afternoon I had to put down my 7 1/2 old lab mix Kasey, after a very short illness. He was well on Tuesday when we all went to bed, but by Wednesday night it was apparent he wouldn't last much longer. I at least thought I'd have a couple weeks, but on 2/16, most likely due to cancer, I had to kiss him goodbye and let him go.
It's been a very long 5 weeks. I've come to realize that I haven't really grieved fully and it's hit me in the last week or so. I become more emotional whenever I think or talk about him. It seems like I cry more. I feel like I'll forget him, what he looks like. His quirks. I so miss coming home to him. I think I took it so for granted that I am feeling the guilt again. It's not like he wasn't spoiled, but I didn't have the time for him this past year or so, with having kids. I am glad, however, that he was around for them to know - for what 15 month olds can understand. They do recognize his picture, but they don't understand anything past that. I named my dtr Erin Kasey after him. Makes me feel good to know that. I'll always have in in that way. Any way, I miss you Roo Roo. I love you. Mom
13 Mar 2006
When did you know you could bring another animal into your home and heart?
It will be 4 weeks on Thursday that I had to let me Kasey go. As I type this, I am tearing up. Not so much that I feel that I would be replacing him, but just that I miss him still soooo very much. It is getting slowly getting better, though. I can talk about him sometimes without actually breaking down. Truth be told, our dog Murphy, who always had Kasey around since the day we brought him home, I strongly believe, needs a playmate. He is very clingy and sad. I know he misses him and whenever he goes outside, seem to be looking and trying to smell him. Also, we can no longer let him out without watching him like a hawk. He ran away 3 times leading up to Kasey dying. I know we could always put him on a lead, but that is the main reason we moved to the country - to let the dogs roam free around the yard. He never ran away when Kasey was around - maybe visited the neighbor's dog - but always in ear shot. We visited the humane society this weekend. Didn't really find that "right" dog. We did find out that we will probably have to get a female. Other than Kasey, Murphy has never really gotten along with other males. I wanted an older dog, because I don't have time to train etc a young one. However, older dogs can come with their own issues. I was kind of disappointed. I thought I was ready, but none of them really felt right. Anyone else deal with this? Any advice? Mary
2 Mar 2006
that you left us, and I miss you every day Roo. It seems like years since I saw you last.
Dad brought you home last night and I held you in my arms and cried. I can't believe such a big boy is now in a small white container. You are sitting in the middle of the dining room, where I can see you from just about everywhere. This spring I will bring you to the lake to your final resting place. Know that I love you and will miss you until we meet again.
24 Feb 2006
since we put my baby Kasey down. And a long week it has been. I'm just physically and emotionally exhausted. I don't cry as much as I had been, but the grief comes in waves. I've been able to put the image of his dying out of my mind, but being in the house is sad. I feel like there's nothing there of him. I look at pictures, smell his collor and talk to him. It gives me some comfort, but still it's just sad.
I feel some anger now at him leaving me especally how fast it was. He was such a strong dog, why didn't he let me help him? I would have done anything to make him better and if I couldn't I would have done what was best for him any way. I hope one of these days I dream of him - strong, healthy and happy. The way I hope to remember him when the pain is replaced by loving and fond memories. |
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