My Answer To A Hurtful Post, So Much Pain Options

[Ann H]

I was asked here at LS

Ann, I hate to have to say this because I know you are a kind person, but what kind of nutcase takes pictures of their dead animal?!?!?

I have never been called nor has anyone ever implied that I was a nutcase in my entire life nor do I consider myself to be one. I knew that it would be the last time I would ever see the body that housed my darling girl in my grief I took the pictures.

It is my belief I was not being a nutcase for taking pictures and I know a lot of other people who took pictures of their deceased babies too. Perhaps some would say I was morbid for taking pictures but to imply I am a nut case is just plain hurtful and mean.

Then that person told me:

I am sorry to be so harsh but I have little tolerence for people who engage in self destructive behavior and then seek pity for it.

Well I was in no way seeking pity!! It is to bad when I bare my soul and voice my feelings that I had to have such a hurtful remarks made to me. I have been helped by so many others her at LS and I have come to love so many and their babies. Most people here are so tender with their replies to everyone. I thought this was a safe place to say what we really think and feel but this hurts me so much.

Most of my posts have been made in trying to comfort others, to give them hope of the pain getting better in time. To let them know that they will make it and to let them know someone really cares. I have tried to leave no one out, that does not sound like a person wanting pity to me.

I am have always considered myself a strong person who has lived through many things in my life. Maybe I am a little to proud of that strength, but it got me through many horrors in my life as a child that was abused and thrown away. I have never sought pity for anything I have been through. Instead I have tried to count my blessings in life. But now and then we all need encouragement at some point in our life.

I no longer feel safe to post my innermost thoughts here. This is a place where we should not have to guard our thoughts for fear of hurtful things being said to us. My heart is broken and shattered enough already without more daggers piercing it by such words that heap even more pain upon my heart. I don't know if I will continue to post here or not.

This statement was also made to me in that post:

Perhaps you will hate me for writing this, but believe it or not I am doing this to try to help you.

Well not to worry it did hurt me more than you will know, but my heart is not filled with hate that is not the kind of woman I am. I have sought my whole life through to be understanding, to be filled with compassion and considerate of other people's thoughs, ideas, and opinions. To be a forgiving woman who is tender and gentle with others.

There is a poem that I read when I was 17 years old. I have always tried to live my life by these words, and I want to leave it will all of you. Words spoken can never be taken back once they are said no matter how hurtful they are or even if you meant well in what you said. So we must always think carefully before we speak, we never know the pain our words might cause and the damage they might do.
Ann

The knife's sharp cut can be endured
it's ugly gash in time is cured.
But ugly words when they over flow
inflict a deep unhealing blow.
Author Unknown

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