Cant Stand The Pain Options

[britt09]

yesterday morning was one of the hardest morning i have ever had to go through. i lost my 2 year old cat buttons to a freak accident. over night while we were sleeping she was playing with her ball on the island in our kitchen. on the island is an attached box like thing where we put our plastic bags. well she had dropped her ball into it and had stuck her head in the hole to get it out. she had done this many times and was able to get her head out of it. but for some reason she couldn't this time she struggle for a lil bit (the only reason we know this is because there are claw marks all on the side of the box) and then her paw slipped and she fell with her head still stuck in the box im guessing her neck broke and she died instantly or at least thats what i hope. its hard for me because i cant get the image of what probably happened outta my head. i keep thinking of her struggling and no one coming to help her. i keep thinking of holding her in my arms and balling my eyes out! i miss her like crazy im use to having her every morning rubbing on my legs when i get up and get ready for school and work. i miss hearing her meow and everything. i dont know what to do because i have no one to talk to. most people just say "its just a cat you will be fine" but she was more than just a cat to me she was like my baby! and we had to get a new kitten last night because of our older cat bud, or else he would grieve himself to death. but for some reason i cant even bring myself to touch the new cat because all i can think about is how much i dont want it all i want is my buttons back! and i feel terrible for thinkings this but i cant help it. i just miss her like crazy i dont know what to do i cant stop crying and everyone around me is thinking im stupid for being this upset.

i just cant stand not having her w/ me :'[