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neomum
post Jul 29 2007, 03:21 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 6
Joined: 28-July 07
From: england
Member No.: 3,322



It's nearly 3 weeks since Baby Neo was put to sleep. he was only 7, much too young for a sweet little cat to die. The vet said it was most likely cancer and I agree with him but not having a definate diagnosis makes it harder to come to terms with. This is the first time I've ever been onto a forum type thing. I really do miss him. The guilt is the worst thing.
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toonie
post Jul 29 2007, 04:07 PM
Post #2





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 628
Joined: 25-February 07
Member No.: 2,632



Dear Neomum, I too felt terrible guilt and will always do so because I put my cat to sleep too soon. I think I am getting around to recognizing my mistake and having no choice but to accept that I made a mistake. Want to know what? Most of the time, we probably decide the best decision but we can never feel sure and want to know what else? most of the time we will be feeling guilty no matter what, just for having been the ones who took that decision. Take care and look around this site I think 99% of us go through guilt trips and someone who used to be good at shaking us out of the guilt is having a hard time himself with this demon but perhaps he will be back here again
telling you to shake that guilt off. Hope so X! One night I had a dream of my cat: he was scratching against the side of my bed meowing asking me for something. I interpreted that he wanted me to quit the guilt and just feel eternal love for him. It helped me some.
You will get better advice from others here just know that guilt is all around here.
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paris
post Jul 30 2007, 06:27 AM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 149
Joined: 3-July 07
Member No.: 3,227



Hi neomum.

I am so sorry for your loss. You came to a wonderful forum for your first time posting on the internet. I did want to mention, this board "lost or missing pet support" is for people whose pets have gone missing. There is another forum that is more active called "Death and dying support" that is actually more active. There are many recent posts about people feeling guilty, and if you read them you will not feel so alone.

Your post is called "if only..." but the sentence was not completed. There is an article in this week's Newsweek (My Perspective). A man had a cat who got cancer and the doctor said the cat had about two years to live (the cat was still in good health) or he could amputate the cat's leg to try to prolong the life. The man agreed to amputate the leg, and the cat of course suffered from the operation and then developed other problems. It has not been more than 2 years so he doesn't know the outcome yet.

If your cat did have cancer or something else life-threatening, logically, it is not your fault and you have no reason to feel guilty. I can't imagine a vet suggesting you put down a young cat if there was a treatment option, and I assume your cat was suffering or in very poor health.
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neomum
post Jul 30 2007, 12:25 PM
Post #4





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 6
Joined: 28-July 07
From: england
Member No.: 3,322



Thanks Toonie and Paris for your kind words. I noticed my post was in the wrong place after I'd posted it! I guess I know, deep down, I'm not to blame for Neo's death but pets sure do get under your skin. The vet said the only other options were invasive procedures that would have made no difference in the end. But I still wonder. He died about 2 months after I noticed he was ill, but I'm sure he'd not been right for a while before that. He lost so much weight practically overnight. I do miss him, glad I got my other cat and dog still. Once again, thanks for listening, people round here getting fed up with me going on.
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