I visited this forum after losing three of my boys (dogs) first Ami and Mimi, at 15 and 17 and then Hiway who was 11, in just a year. I found a new puppy to love not long after Hiway crossed the bridge. this new little man, Finch, was able to come to work with me and be a therapy dog, I work with people with disabilities. We did everything together. One Tuesday evening in September two years ago, when he was four, Finch had a seizure that turned out to the be first of many, many more. His life was more difficult, but no less full. He paddle boarded and boated, hiked and swam and went everywhere with me. He took lots of meds, but was a happy and sweet friend through it all. Monday night, June 27th about 830pm I noticed he didn't seem himself, then he started having trouble catching his breath. By 11:45 he was gone. I got him to the emergency vet about 60 miles from us but they were unable to stabilize him. Even with IV's and a breathing tube they couldn't help him.
I am so very lost. He really was my best friend. I just don't know what to do with myself. I am only working part time, I lost my fulltime job because I was unable to pay attention to what I was doing and made mistakes. I am terrified of starting a new job because I can't seem to stop crying, it's an all day, every day thing. I am making an appointment with a counselor, but in the meantime, I am much in need of support.
I don't mean this to sound desperate, I just feel more lost than ever before.

Hi Lytlewren, I'm so very sorry that you are having such a difficult time!

There is nothing quite like this kind of grief, and we on this forum know it all too well.

I hope the counselor you'll be seeing is in tune with this kind of pain. It is overwhelming, excruciating, and all-consuming.

Do you live alone? Do you have other pets there with you? The worse thing for me was when I was completely alone after losing a pet.

Could you try writing Finch a letter to tell him (although he knows already ) how much you love him, and to share other thoughts and feelings? A second step might be to have Finch "write" a letter back to you. It can be a very healing exercise.

We're here to support you and together we can help come up with ways to help. Write back when you can.

Sending prayers your way.
With empathetic understanding,

Kathy

Hi, lytlewren, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Finch. As you so well know it doesn't matter if the grief journey is our first experience or our thousandth - - each journey is uniquely painful because the relationships we have with each of our companions is uniquely individual. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Like our forum friend Kathy I also hope the counselor you will be seeing will be a source of comfort and support to you in your grief adjustment journey. I am so sorry you lost your full time job, lytlewren, and hope you will soon find the strength to start anew. It's sad that employers do not have empathy for an employee who is in a crisis situation. I personally know from first hand experience how difficult it is to concentrate on a job when immersed in a crisis - - and mistakes happen.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Finch with us. I am so smiling at his spirit to live life to the fullest. How blessed he is to have you for his Forever Mom, and you are now blessed to be his sole, and soul, heir to his eternal love.

I hope today is treating you kindly, lytlewren, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with each of your beloved companions' sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam