Do Finders Have To Be Keepers?, Not bonding with Sable Options

[Mink&WillowsMom]

I started this on Found a Kitty, but since it really opens up a whole new aspect, I'm starting a new topic here. Admin: you can move this to New Beginnings if it feels like a better fit, but the guts of my concern centers on having found a lost cat, not choosing a new beginning with one. Folks on this thread have been following Sable's tale, so I'd like them to be able to find this post and help me through it.

*** Okay, I'm taking a cue from the gent who wrote "Confession" (see Death and Dying), and Paris' reluctant disclosure about Bennett.

I've been struggling with feelings of not wanting Sable in my home.

Luna, Rohan, and Willow all guardedly walk past her, because she stares them down and lashes out sometimes. The warily pass by, tense and back stiff. There haven't been a lot of fistfights, but the honeymoon is definitely over, and sometimes Sable chases them, especially Luna, with lots of hissing and spitting. (Usually on Luna's part.)

Sable's kidneys are "weak." The doc says it's not kidney failure, but suggested I put her on the special NF diet as a protective measure. I'm just not willing to do that -- I've tried it with other cats and they all hate it. And with four, there'd be no way to switch just hers. I may as well just throw the money in the trash, because that's where all the food ends up. I'm willing to try other dietary changes, but not NF. She goes through an ungodly amount of kitty litter -- she pees as much as the other three combined. I'm awash in litter granules.

After years of caring for failing, elderly kitties, it was a joy to adopt new kittens. Willow, Rohan, and Luna are all abundantly healthy. What a relief of have a healthy, robust home. And after caring for my elderly, ailing father, and then to have been released from that when he died, I am SO unwilling to step back to caring for something in ill health. It's a stress that wears on me heavily. She doesn't groom herself well, she looks all rumply and unkempt. She's docile, and her mood is even, and purrs, and occasionally tries to play, but she's not robust. She now weighs 9 lbs, 1 oz (up from 5-10 when I found her).

But how can I ask someone else to adopt a health-compromised animal? I feel stuck with her. Maybe, with more time, she'll bond with some of us, but it hasn't happened yet. The local Kitten Rescue is just about to launch into kitten season, and if I insisted they take her, I think I'd ruin my goodwill with them (I used to volunteer there). One option, is they might be willing to advertise her on the website, as long as I continue to foster her.

I just feel like I'm a bad mom, and being selfish for wanting a home of harmony and health, needy kitties need not apply. Kimberly