8 Months Later I'm Still Grieving

Almost eight months ago I lost my precious long-haired cat, Mudbug. I'm still grieving over her death because I can only blame myself for her death. On July 7th 2003 my cat was lounging around on the patio furniture in my back yard when I went out back to make sure my new, stupid, misting fan worked. When I sprayed it out in the air it scared Mudbug and she ran off. I wasn't too worried because she usually goes off adventuring the block.

Later on that night in the early hours around 4am July 8th the phone rang, I didn't wake up in time to answer it, but then later around 6 or 7 am the phone rang again this time my mother answered it, the phone ringing woke me and all I remember hearing my mom say was "Oh no not Mudbug..." It echos through my mind whenever I think about Mudbug (Mudlee/ Mudbaby/ MudKat/ Muddilene *just some of her nicknames*)

We ended up burying her at my grandmother's house. Afterward I was wearing her collar on my wrist and my 2 dachshunds heard the jingle of Mudbug's id and rabies tags and came running looking for her. She was the best cat I've ever known in my 15 year old life. Most of the time when I would get home from school she would be sleeping on the foot of my bed, she would meow at me if her food bowl was getting empty, and she was sush a beautiful silver-grey color. I can't stop blaming myself, if I hadn't been messing with the stupid fan then she wouldn't have run off in the first place. I'm hoping this site will help ease the grief.