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> Feeling Sad Today, Missing Allie
Norah'sMom
post Apr 22 2005, 01:59 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 133
Joined: 22-March 05
From: Atlanta, Georgia
Member No.: 769



I miss my Allie so much today. I think I've been trying to make myself feel happy now that we have two great girls in the house -Lucy and Norah -and I do feel happy because of them. But sometimes when I'm at work I think of Allie, because the little ones are not here to distract me.

I feel as though I'm forgetting what she was like. I look at her pictures but they don't do her justice, and that's really all I have. I wish I had a video of her. It would be painful to watch but at least I could remember her better.

Even though I know Lucy needed us, and I'm thankful that we found her, I continue to question why God couldn't have found another loving home for Lucy. Because we already had a little girl who we loved more than life itself! I suppose with time I will begin to understand better, why Lucy, why Allie, why now?

I have to be happy for Allie that she is with God now. But for some reason all I can think about is her little body, her little stitched up tummy where they had tried to save her, in the ground of a yard at a house that will one day be lived in by someone other than my mother-in-law. It's so hard to let go of a physical presence, even though I know it was her soul who made her who she was.

Missing my girl,
Jenny
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--------------------
Alice Mae Bennett ("Allie") was born around May of 2003. She came home to us in July. On March 10, 2005, she became ill with a condition called mesenteric torsion or volvulus. It is a twisting of the small intestine which is nearly impossible to diagnose. Once symptoms begin it is usually too late to save the intestine by surgical means. There are no known ways to prevent it and its causes are also unknown. It is extremely rare, especially in medium-size females like Allie. It is more common in males of large breeds, like German Shepherds.

Allie was a sweet, happy and loving soul. I will miss her every day. Thanks for giving us these last two years, little girl. We'll always treasure them.
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FurBabyMom
post Apr 22 2005, 04:53 PM
Post #2





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 48
Joined: 21-April 05
Member No.: 837



Jenny,

My heart goes out to you. You had her for such a short time but I know you made her life happy. When my Friskie died last summer I wanted to find another kitty just like him. I adopted 3 kittens and realized that there will never be another Friskie. They each have their own unique personality. My heart was stolen by Gandalf my little gray kitty and everytime I picked him up I'd love him like it was the last time.

Now Gandalf is missing and although my heart is breaking you guys have given me hope that he's still out there waiting for me to find him. I still have two kitties at home and I love them but it's just not the same.

Try to remember Allie as a happy girl not as you saw her last. No matter where her body lies her soul and spirit will always live in your heart.

Hugs,
Dawn


--------------------
Hugs,
Dawn

Furbabies waiting for me at Rainbow Bridge.....

Tigger - 2008 - "My Tig Wee"
Merlin - 2006 - "Goofy Boy"
Gandalf - 2005 - "Little Buddy"
Dorian - 2004 - "Daddy's Baby Girl Kitty"
Friskie - 2004 - "Good Kitty Boy"
Spike - 2001 - "Piggy Puppy"
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Jazzygirl
post Apr 22 2005, 11:12 PM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 217
Joined: 25-March 05
Member No.: 777



Oh Jenny. *hugs* I'm so sorry you're having a bad day. I suppose we'll always have those no matter where we are in the griveing process. I can totally relate to you missing her and questioning why and also to those last horrible images. I have the similar ones of Jasmine...being carried off in a hurry, out of my reach, her head falling to the side. I kept saying "She looks so BAD!!" Little did I know, it was too late. Those thoughts haunt me too. I wish I could take them away for you...I wish I could console you better...I feel so inadequate right now. You've been such an enormous source of strength for me. But Dawn is right, we need to remember our babies as they were...beautiful and healthy.
I too worry that I'll forget about her. I don't even know where most of my pics of her are. I need to go digging in boxes to find them. But I know if I sit quietly and think about each year with her, it will come back to me. And the same goes for you too.
My thoughts are with you always.....
Audrey


--------------------
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.
You are his life, his love, his leader.
He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart.
You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
~Unknown
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Ann H
post Apr 23 2005, 02:16 AM
Post #4





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 1,165
Joined: 31-October 04
Member No.: 538



Dear Jenny, I know what you mean about missing your baby so much. Even though I have my little Schnitzel and the toy poodle and 2 kitties my daughter gave me I still miss Snookie and Chili Bean so much.

I think maybe we all worry some that we will forget their bark, their scent, or the details of what they looked like. I close my eyes and picture my little Snookie looking at me and what her voice sounded like. I want never to forget those things that were part of my life for so many years.

Yes, Abby's mommy you know doubt will spend the rest of your life thinking of your little girl like the rest of us. There death brought so much pain and sorrow that will never go away.

I know that with each baby I bring into my life that someday I will lose them too. But oh every second of love, laughter, kiss, loving look, and joy was worth it all. Could I have looked ahead and known that my heart would be ripped out and shattered like glass like it was and is I still would do it all over again.

No, I don't enjoy the pain but oh my I have a heart that needs to be filled with love. Maybe I will never have with another what I had with Snookie but if it even comes close what a happy woman I will be. The love that fills our heart from our babies that were with us before they left this world was just so wonderful. I could not ever think of living without more babies to fill my life and heart.
Love, Ann


--------------------

My girls went to the Rainbow Bridge 6 weeks and 3 days apart.
Snookie had cushing's disease, and later developed diabetes. Both had cancer, Snookie had cancer of the liver, and Chili Bean had cancer of the pallet. Chili Bean was our son's chihuahua but we kept her often throughout her life and she stayed with us for the last 9 months of her life. Chili Bean also had asthma and heart failure. We will see you in Heaven my precious darlings.


Snookie Lynn Howard
2-04-94 - 12-26-04


Senorita Chili Bean Bubbles Howard
11-05-94 - 11-11-04
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Rusty's Mom
post Apr 23 2005, 06:18 AM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 456
Joined: 10-December 04
Member No.: 605



Dear Jenny,

I'm sorry you're missing Allie so much. We've all had other losses in our lives but somehow the loss of a beloved pet is so hard to cope with. Maybe it's because they're like children to us and we feel that they shouldn't die before we do.

I look at my dog Heidi, who's 3 and worry about having to face another loss someday. I try not to think of it too much but I've read so much here of pets dying young due to cancer and other illnesses, like your Allie. Even though I'll have to face more sadness losing other pets, I can't imagine my life without a fur-family member.

I wish I could say something to make you feel better. Please try to remember the good life you gave Allie. That picture of her is adorable. You loved her so much and she knew that.

We have videos of Rusty that I can't imagine ever looking at. If I ever do, it won't be for a long, long time.

Take care, Jenny.

Thinking of you and wishing you peace.

Love,
Lynn


--------------------
Rusty, I will always love you and never forget you. Thank you for more than 7 wonderful years.

XXOO
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Norah'sMom
post Apr 23 2005, 12:49 PM
Post #6





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 133
Joined: 22-March 05
From: Atlanta, Georgia
Member No.: 769



Thank you all so much. I feel better today and am getting more and more comfortable with Lucy as she is settling in. Rusty's Mom and Ann, you're both right I could never not love these little ones even though I know one day I'll have to say goodbye to them. We can't turn away from it -they give us so much, and they need us too.

QUOTE
No matter where her body lies her soul and spirit will always live in your heart.
Thank you, Dawn. I love this.

Sen, you make a good point that I could never forget how much I loved Allie and she loved me, and that is the important thing -not so much her scent or the way she looked. And also I do think she is smiling on me, Lucy and Norah.

Thank you, Abby's Mommy for the hugs and for reminding me that Allie is waiting for me patiently.

And Audrey, thanks -you're the best. I just have to take the time to sit down and remember all the little things, and they will come back to me.

Love,
Jenny


--------------------
Alice Mae Bennett ("Allie") was born around May of 2003. She came home to us in July. On March 10, 2005, she became ill with a condition called mesenteric torsion or volvulus. It is a twisting of the small intestine which is nearly impossible to diagnose. Once symptoms begin it is usually too late to save the intestine by surgical means. There are no known ways to prevent it and its causes are also unknown. It is extremely rare, especially in medium-size females like Allie. It is more common in males of large breeds, like German Shepherds.

Allie was a sweet, happy and loving soul. I will miss her every day. Thanks for giving us these last two years, little girl. We'll always treasure them.
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