Please Help! Options

[sherryc]

Hi everyone - I am new here.
As I sit here I am writing this through tears. It has been the worst weekend of my life! On Friday I got home from work and all was well. My sweet little cat Buttercup met me at the back door as always. I picked her up she purred. I put her down, went about my business and noticed she was running around a bit more than usual. Sometime she did this when she wanted to play. So I started playing with her all was fine. All of a sudden my 15 month old cat had a seizure and died. I am in total shock She has become such a part of our family I am at a total loss. My husband and I went through the house several times. There is no sign of her being sick or getting into anything. We have two daughters 14 and 8 they are both in disbelief. All we have done since Friday is cry. I miss that little cat so so much. Once again this morning I waited for her to meet me in the kitchen My youngest wants to get a new cat immediately. I am not even sure what the best timing for all of this is.
This is all so confusing to me. The vet seems to think it was a heart defect. He actually said that it is not that uncommon that this happens. The only thing that I can recall that she did differently was the night before this happened she started racing around the house in the middle of the night. She did that from time to time but never like she did Thursday night. I actually got out of bed to check on her because it sounded like she was chasing something but she was really just running up and down the steps. I found her in the hallway - her tail was huge and she looked a bit freaked. I picked her up and put her in my bed and she seemed to be fine. I am now wondering if maybe she had a seizure and freaked out a bit after? I don't know that is the only thing I can recall that was different about her.
UGH - this is terrible. How does a family get through this??

[janika]

Dear Sherryc

How sad that you lost your darling Buttercup so suddenly and at such a young age. Please accept by condolences and sympathy for your devastating loss.
Little Buttercup was destined to be your Angel Buttercup, some things are beyond our control and seem unbearable when they happen. You were with her though , that is very important, she knew you were there for her, loving her and comforting her. That is the terrible thing for me to bear that my darling Noushka was alone at the vets having tests, when she passed to the Rainbow Bridge. I can't forgive myself for leaving her there overnight, at the vets recommendation, I never realised that I would never see her again.
The pain does ease as time passes, it has never completely gone for me, but the days are more bearable now and I try and focus on the 'Happy' moments we shared.
Children are very resilient and sometimes seem to be able to recover more quickly from their grief over a dear pet, than we adults do. Sometimes a new little fur baby to love and care for can help ease the pain, not to replace but to give your heart a new focus, and who you will come to love in their own right. You have to be ready though, and give yourself the time. We all cope in our different ways, I don't think there is a wrong or right way, it is whats best for each one of us.
I wish that I could do more to help ease your pain, and that of your family, but please know that I am thinking of you and sending prayers for you.
Hugs Jan and my Angels x

[madi]

What an awful thing to happen, I feel so sorry for you and your family. These gorgeous angels we are blessed to have in our lives become a part of us and when they go we feel like a part of us goes with them. Buttercup was such a young kitty, it's a real shame but you would not have seen this coming, there was no real signs that would have prompted you to seek medical advice. There is no right or wrong time to get another pet, it depends on the individual, at 8 it is quite normal to want another kitten right away. I know what it's like, that unbearable grief and non-stop crying and that is why you have my deepest sympathy. I know you won't think so now, but you will get through this pain, just give yourself time, lots of it. Hugs to you all xx

madi xx

[moon_beam]

Hi, Sherryc, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Buttercup. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. You ask how does someone get through the grieving journey? I would like to add my 2 cents to the wonderful responses you have already received. The grief journey is a one day at a time journey, Sherry. Unfortunately there is no "fast forward" button to push to speed up the process. Clinical studies show that children grieve differently from adults, so it is important that each of you feel free to talk openly about how you're doing with the grieving process, and it is important for you and your children to understand that there is no "wrong" way to grieve, except if it were to become self-destructive. As to the matter of getting a new companion, that is strictly a personal choice. Some folks find it very comforting to have another companion immediately as it gives them a new life to focus on which is comforting. Other folks find that it is better for them to wait until the deep grief has passed before committing their hearts and lives to another companion. And some folks never adopt again - - for whatever reason - - which is the right decision for them. I know right now this may not be very helpful for you because you're looking for "answers" that basically can only come in time for what is right for you and your family. But please know you are among friends here who do understand what you and your family are going through, for each of us here knows first hand the heartbreak of losing a beloved companion. For me, my number one kitty son, Eli, joined the angels 37 months ago, and my precious Black Lab, Oslo, - - it will be 2 months come this Friday, January 29. This grief journey is one of the hardest experiences we will have on this side of eternity because our beloved companions have given us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and when they leave us they take a part of us with them - - the better part of us that has surrendered completely to them. And so we feel a deep emptiness and void in our hearts and lives that is very unbearable, particularly in the early stages of deep grief. So, again, Sherry, please know you are among friends here who do understand what you and your family are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, Sherry, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[sissycat]

Sherryc and family,

It always saddens me to hear of someone loosing their pet. No matter if it is sudden or if you know it is coming-it is no easier for any of us. No matter how long or short a time they are with us they affect our lives so very much.
As for how long to wait before getting another furbaby is completely up to you. I don't know if you have read any other stories on here yet but people wait different times. Some wait months others get one right away. Maybe for your children it would help fill the empty hole. You wouldn't be replacing your sweet Buttercup just bringing another furbaby in to share your love with.

Just hang in there. I know it seems very hard right now, but the pain with ease gradually. It never completely goes away, but it does get bearable. Coming here often to talk, tell stories, or post pictures of your Buttercup may help. There are so many people hear to listen and help you.

HUgs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sherryc]

Thank you all so much for your kind words. It means more than you know.
The heartache is so hard. I have had a knot in my stomach for days. My 14 year old is hanging in there (she tends to bottle things up). My 8 year old has ups and downs. We did take the girls out today and I made it through without tears so I guess that was a good thing.
I think we may end up with a new furry baby sooner than we thought. I have read a lot and it seems that it may help to fill the void. I just don't want the girls to feel like we are replacing sweet Buttercup or to compare the new kitten to her. It wouldn't be fair to the new cat. I keep trying to reassure the kids, and well myself, that there is nothing we could have done. I just keep thinking what if she was sick and I didn't take her to the vet. Did I miss something. She was a bit more tired than usual a few days ago but was it a sickness? On the other hand I think at least she died doing what she loved best, playing. She was our only pet so my 8 year old just keep saying how lonely it is here without her. I have to say I agree!!

[sissycat]

sherryc,

Guilt is one of the many feeling of grief. And man did it hit me hard!! Also all the what if's. I am sure you did all you knew to do for Buttercup. Sometimes as a parent of a furbaby we do not know there is anything wrong. Animals do have a way of hiding it when they are sick. You gave her a loving home and that is all our pets ask for.


Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[magdalene]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't feel bad for not knowing there was a problem. She seemed healthy and it was very sudden. You could not have known or done anything differently. It's hard to know when it's the right time to bring home a new kitty, and the answer to that question is really different for everyone. You'll do what's right for you and your family.

Magdalene

[Westiesam/Sharon]

Hi Sherryc
My heart goes out to you and your family on the loss of Buttercup. So young. I hope you and your family will find the perfect new kitty whenever you're ready to love another furbaby
Sharon

[smokey/lady/max]

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Hi Sherryc

First let me say I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Buttercup. I have found a little angel to send your way. I am not sure what color buttercup is but I am taking a guess by her name. If she isn't close to this color please let me know and I will find the perfect angel.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family
Hugs
Anna & My Angel Max

[ladywolf]

Dear SherryC--

I am so, so sorry that you lost Buttercup at such a young age. That's just so sad for everyone in your family. Please rest assured that you didn't do anything wrong--you had no real signs that anything was wrong with her--she just seemed extra-playful--you couldn't have diagnosed "illness" from that.

I hope that you WILL get another fur-baby soon, but that decision is up to all of you. You can never replace her, but you CAN bring new energy into your lives, in the form of a new, different, distinct, goofy sort of kitty. (They're ALL kind of of goofy, aren't they? My kitties all have been!)

Take your time with the grieving process. It continues on after you bring a "young-un" into your lives, but it can be helped enormously by having a new one to smile at!

Big Hugs--

Margi and Ladywolf

[smokey/lady/max]

[attachment=4173:rainbowb...01copy_1.jpg]
Mommy,
See how beautiful I am here at the Rainbow Bridge. I love you very much

I am always with you
Love your Angel Buttercup
xoxoxo