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> I Don't Know What To Do!, Euthinize or not?
ABT
post Jan 27 2010, 01:54 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
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I just got on this site and have read a few posts. I am doubting my decision to take my baby cat (16) in this afternoon to be euthinized. She has mamory cancer and has been really declining in the last few weeks. The past few nights have been really bad in that she wasn't eating much anymore and seemed to be in pain and has become very weak. Yet, she is still getting on and off the bed and late last night and this morning she ate a bit more. I made an appt. to bring her in this afternoon because I finally came to the decsion that I did not want her to suffer or be in pain which she seems to be. Reading people's posts though has made second guess myself...Barb
(Picture of her is at 6 months)
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Rhapsedy
post Jan 27 2010, 02:09 PM
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From: Jackson, MI
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Please be sure about your decision. Have you taken her to the vet and asked his or her opinion? Maybe they can give some pain medication to your cat and you won't have to make the decision right away.

I was one that has really had a hard time with euthanizing my dog and if I can help anyone from going thru that pain of the what ifs I want to help in anyway that I can. It may be time for your cat but I just want to make sure you are at peace with your decision.

If I can be of any help, please let me know.

Rhapsedy


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janika
post Jan 27 2010, 02:56 PM
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Oh Dear ABT I really do feel the anguish you are going through. I think Rhapsedy is right in what she says, maybe it is not quite time if your dear Baby is eating and doesn't seem to be in pain. The vet will be able to advise you.
I think you will know in your heart if and when its time to make sure your precious baby isn't suffering.
I am sending my love and prayers.
Thinking of you and your beautiful baby kitty.

Jan and my Angels xx
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banditsmom
post Jan 27 2010, 04:03 PM
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It is the absolute hardest decision I ever had to make, but like you I could not watch my baby suffer. I knew not doing it would have been for me, not for her, but it took me a while to be able to make that choice, you have to be ready. Nobody knows our babies better than us, so listen to your heart.

Bandit's Mom
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ABT
post Jan 27 2010, 06:08 PM
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QUOTE (banditsmom @ Jan 27 2010, 04:03 PM) *
It is the absolute hardest decision I ever had to make, but like you I could not watch my baby suffer. I knew not doing it would have been for me, not for her, but it took me a while to be able to make that choice, you have to be ready. Nobody knows our babies better than us, so listen to your heart.

Bandit's Mom


Thank you Bandit's Mom, I appreciate your response and support. I am following my heart and also trying to use my head. I decided to hold off with the appointment. I did talk to my vet and he gave me his medical opinion. Through the past year and the trial and errors with my sweet girl she has defied the odds. She has shown me that she is still hanging on so I've decided to hang on too. If I can see her through and she can go on her own that would be my greatest wish. It's not so much for me but allowing her to go when it is her time if that makes sense. It is very difficult to imagine her sufferering so I will take it step by step. Thank you for your support.
Barb
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ABT
post Jan 27 2010, 06:14 PM
Post #6





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 20
Joined: 26-January 10
Member No.: 6,342



QUOTE (Rhapsedy @ Jan 27 2010, 02:09 PM) *
Please be sure about your decision. Have you taken her to the vet and asked his or her opinion? Maybe they can give some pain medication to your cat and you won't have to make the decision right away.

I was one that has really had a hard time with euthanizing my dog and if I can help anyone from going thru that pain of the what ifs I want to help in anyway that I can. It may be time for your cat but I just want to make sure you are at peace with your decision.

If I can be of any help, please let me know.

Rhapsedy


Thank you Rhapsedy. I appreciate your response. I've decided to hold off. She has shown me that she is still fighting to be here so I want to respect her process. I just don't want her to suffer. I had a conversation with my sister who is a acute care nurse and it was very helpful. She spoke about the whole process of letting go and that sometimes there is some suffering and it is not necessarily a bad thing; meaning there can be some discomfort when moving a "human" patient but then there is peace again when they settle. I guess when I felt my cat was wincing in pain I felt uncomfortable with it and wondered what is best for her. But truely it is like she is aware and is showing me that she is still fighting. I will continue to love her the best I can and put her first and also try to respect her natural process. I do have pain medication and I think perhaps the way I gave it to her this morning (on a treat which she will still eat) was more effective. (It's a liquid). She also ate more today so that is a good sign.

Thank you for your support. It is very emotional and as much as I knew this time would come it is very difficult. It's not that I want to keep her for me I just want to respect her spirit and do what is best for her you know. I'm sure you all do.
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ABT
post Jan 27 2010, 06:16 PM
Post #7





Group: Pet Lovers
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QUOTE (janika @ Jan 27 2010, 02:56 PM) *
Oh Dear ABT I really do feel the anguish you are going through. I think Rhapsedy is right in what she says, maybe it is not quite time if your dear Baby is eating and doesn't seem to be in pain. The vet will be able to advise you.
I think you will know in your heart if and when its time to make sure your precious baby isn't suffering.
I am sending my love and prayers.
Thinking of you and your beautiful baby kitty.

Jan and my Angels xx


Thank you Jan and your Angels. I appreciate your support. I am holding off and letting things unfold with the hope that my sweet girl will guide me through. She is such a precious spirit and I love her so much I just want to do what's right for her. I feel like my heart will break just from how tumultuous this whole experience is. thanks for your understanding.
Barb
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ladywolf
post Jan 27 2010, 10:32 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 830
Joined: 6-December 09
From: Oracle, Arizona
Member No.: 6,254



QUOTE (ABT @ Jan 27 2010, 04:16 PM) *
Thank you Jan and your Angels. I appreciate your support. I am holding off and letting things unfold with the hope that my sweet girl will guide me through. She is such a precious spirit and I love her so much I just want to do what's right for her. I feel like my heart will break just from how tumultuous this whole experience is. thanks for your understanding.
Barb

Hi Barb--

I will no doubt be up against this decision myself, as Ladywolf's cancer advances, unless the Powers That Be see fit to let her die at home, peacefully. We're not there yet, and may not be for quite some time, as she is still not sick, just has these tumors that are growing... But that fateful day may come, and I dread it! So I feel for you very very deeply.

I'm a therapist, and in one of my trainings, the teacher reminded us that most decisions are NOT totally unilateral--that we may not know for SURE that we are doing the "right" thing, but only the thing that seems best at the time. He talked about degrees of ambivalence, and this talk was a great help to me. His point was that we have to decide how much ambivalence we are comfortable with, and then act. Do we need to be 90% sure that we are doing the right thing? 99%? 80% How much uncertainty can we live with, and still act? If it needs to be 95% certainty, then what are the conditions that we need to be 95% sure? And that we should not regret the 5% or 10% or whatever that was uncertain--we set our limits and we acted on them, given the best possible information we had at the time.

I don't know if this is of any help to you, but it's been enormously helpful to me in my life. Should I move to another state? Right now, it's about 60% yes and 40% no, and that's not enough certainty for me. I need to reach about 80% certainty before I can take action.

A very important thing is not to second-guess ourselves after the fact, no matter how much agony we are feeling. We're going to feel that agony, no matter what. So we "should" try not to torment ourselves after we DO take definitive action.

It sounds as if you are following your heart and your sense of reason in letting your kitty live at least a little, or a lot, longer. I support you fully and my heart is with you!

Hugs--

Margi and Ladywolf
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AngelCareOne
post Jan 28 2010, 02:50 AM
Post #9





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 1,827
Joined: 16-June 08
From: Florida
Member No.: 4,797



QUOTE (ABT @ Jan 27 2010, 01:54 PM) *
I just got on this site and have read a few posts. I am doubting my decision to take my baby cat (16) in this afternoon to be euthanized. She has mammary cancer and has been really declining in the last few weeks. The past few nights have been really bad in that she wasn't eating much anymore and seemed to be in pain and has become very weak. Yet, she is still getting on and off the bed and late last night and this morning she ate a bit more. I made an apt. to bring her in this afternoon because I finally came to the decision that I did not want her to suffer or be in pain which she seems to be. Reading people's posts though has made second guess myself...Barb
(Picture of her is at 6 months)

Dearest Barb,

I'm terribly sorry this is happening to you and your precious fur kid kitty. Please accept my apologies for not getting here ASAP. Judging by your topic title, I didn't realize just how very urgent this matter is so you need answers quick, fast and in a hurry. The following Websites are enormously helpful and the first three are the best in my opinion. Still, I want to offer you as much as possible.

When you click on the first link, there will be soft music playing. I cannot find anywhere on this site to turn it off so I just turned down my volume since the music is a distraction to me, but may not be to you. Please click on the following links ...

Euthanasia ... How will I know when it's time?

Ten ways YOU know itís time to euthanize your pet

Note: I am not suggesting Hospice Care. This next Website contains a wealth of information regarding when it's time to euthanize ...

Animal Home Euthanasia and Hospice Care

I googled about 35 Websites and articles and am only listing those that I feel offer you the best information on which to base your decision as to the when. If you want more, please let me know. I'll be checking in. Here are the other ones that are very good and not listed in any particular order of importance ...

When is it time to euthanize?

Deciding When & How To Humanely Euthanize a Companion Animal

Note: Click at the bottom to turn the pages at this Website ...

What Should You Consider Before Euthanizing Your Pet

Note: This information is very helpful regarding cats, too. Most applies exactly the same ...

When to say good-bye to your dog

I hope and pray you find this helpful as I too am going through the same with my Styx kitty so can truly empathize with you. When it first began in November, I wrote about it here at LS in the Pet Disease and Sickness Support area. Here's a direct link in case you're interested in checking it out ...

My Styx Kitty Is Very Sick And May Be Dying

Fortunately, Styx kitty is hanging in there and doing pretty well at this point in time. Please keep us posted about your fur baby and also how you're doing. You're both in my thoughts and prayers.

Many Comforting Hugs and winging Angels your way!



Always,
Dottie xoxoxox
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madi
post Jan 28 2010, 07:17 AM
Post #10





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 381
Joined: 31-October 09
From: Australia
Member No.: 6,207



There has to be nothing in this world more difficult than making this decision. Your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another. OMG, I feel your pain and I understand how you want to keep your baby with you for just that little bit longer. You certainly have my sympathy and understanding, cancer is a curse of a thing and damned painful, but you will make the right decision, you will just know. My thoughts are with you Barb xx

madi xx
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ABT
post Feb 2 2010, 12:07 PM
Post #11





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 20
Joined: 26-January 10
Member No.: 6,342



Thank you so much. I haven't been on the site for a few days as I needed to just get back to some sense of "normal" and focus on my day to day life a bit more and not just on by sick baby Dee. I just read your post though and want to let you know that it is extremely helpful and I think it is something I will be able to apply both now with Dee and with other difficult decisions.

She is still with me btw, and seems to not be in pain. I have her on some natural remedies which I hope are making her more comfortable. I believe they are as her breathing has improved. She is much weaker though and sometimes it just breaks my heart to see her this way, so small and vulnerable. I do try to focus on the postitive though which is she is at home in the comfort of her surroundings, she has me her to tell her that I love her and she's been so good to me and that I'll be alright when it is her time to go. I wish I could keep her forever....but I must remember right now she IS still here with me and she will be in my heart forever. I love her so incredible much and I feel that love so deeply for her and also the pain of her slowly going from this earth.

Well anyhow, for now she is with me and my other girl on the bed sleeping and I will continue to care for her and love her.

Thank again for your advise and support!

QUOTE (ladywolf @ Jan 27 2010, 10:32 PM) *
Hi Barb--

I will no doubt be up against this decision myself, as Ladywolf's cancer advances, unless the Powers That Be see fit to let her die at home, peacefully. We're not there yet, and may not be for quite some time, as she is still not sick, just has these tumors that are growing... But that fateful day may come, and I dread it! So I feel for you very very deeply.

I'm a therapist, and in one of my trainings, the teacher reminded us that most decisions are NOT totally unilateral--that we may not know for SURE that we are doing the "right" thing, but only the thing that seems best at the time. He talked about degrees of ambivalence, and this talk was a great help to me. His point was that we have to decide how much ambivalence we are comfortable with, and then act. Do we need to be 90% sure that we are doing the right thing? 99%? 80% How much uncertainty can we live with, and still act? If it needs to be 95% certainty, then what are the conditions that we need to be 95% sure? And that we should not regret the 5% or 10% or whatever that was uncertain--we set our limits and we acted on them, given the best possible information we had at the time.

I don't know if this is of any help to you, but it's been enormously helpful to me in my life. Should I move to another state? Right now, it's about 60% yes and 40% no, and that's not enough certainty for me. I need to reach about 80% certainty before I can take action.

A very important thing is not to second-guess ourselves after the fact, no matter how much agony we are feeling. We're going to feel that agony, no matter what. So we "should" try not to torment ourselves after we DO take definitive action.

It sounds as if you are following your heart and your sense of reason in letting your kitty live at least a little, or a lot, longer. I support you fully and my heart is with you!

Hugs--

Margi and Ladywolf

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ABT
post Feb 2 2010, 12:11 PM
Post #12





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 20
Joined: 26-January 10
Member No.: 6,342



Hello Dotti
Haven't been on line for a while. Thanks so much for your support and all the site info. you sent. That is very kind of you. Dee is hanging in there and I have her on some natural medicine which seems to be working for her. She is getting weaker and having a harder time getting to the litter box now. I think it is because she may be loosing some muscele control or is just to weak to make it to the box or into the box. Anyhow, it is still managable and otherwise she eats a bit, is drinking alot and is at peace for the most part that I can tell. So I continue to support her at home and pray that she can go on her own in peace.

Best,
Barb

QUOTE (AngelCareOne @ Jan 28 2010, 02:50 AM) *
Dearest Barb,

I'm terribly sorry this is happening to you and your precious fur kid kitty. Please accept my apologies for not getting here ASAP. Judging by your topic title, I didn't realize just how very urgent this matter is so you need answers quick, fast and in a hurry. The following Websites are enormously helpful and the first three are the best in my opinion. Still, I want to offer you as much as possible.

When you click on the first link, there will be soft music playing. I cannot find anywhere on this site to turn it off so I just turned down my volume since the music is a distraction to me, but may not be to you. Please click on the following links ...

Euthanasia ... How will I know when it's time?

Ten ways YOU know itís time to euthanize your pet

Note: I am not suggesting Hospice Care. This next Website contains a wealth of information regarding when it's time to euthanize ...

Animal Home Euthanasia and Hospice Care

I googled about 35 Websites and articles and am only listing those that I feel offer you the best information on which to base your decision as to the when. If you want more, please let me know. I'll be checking in. Here are the other ones that are very good and not listed in any particular order of importance ...

When is it time to euthanize?

Deciding When & How To Humanely Euthanize a Companion Animal

Note: Click at the bottom to turn the pages at this Website ...

What Should You Consider Before Euthanizing Your Pet

Note: This information is very helpful regarding cats, too. Most applies exactly the same ...

When to say good-bye to your dog

I hope and pray you find this helpful as I too am going through the same with my Styx kitty so can truly empathize with you. When it first began in November, I wrote about it here at LS in the Pet Disease and Sickness Support area. Here's a direct link in case you're interested in checking it out ...

My Styx Kitty Is Very Sick And May Be Dying

Fortunately, Styx kitty is hanging in there and doing pretty well at this point in time. Please keep us posted about your fur baby and also how you're doing. You're both in my thoughts and prayers.

Many Comforting Hugs and winging Angels your way!



Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

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ABT
post Feb 2 2010, 12:19 PM
Post #13





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 20
Joined: 26-January 10
Member No.: 6,342



Thank you Madi,
My main concern is that she is not suffering or in pain. I talked to my doctor and I believe she is not in pain because she is not indicating this to me. She is weak and vulnerable but not in pain.

I am taking good care of her and she is purring a lot. Both my girls are purrers...I look at them and they purr, so to me the fact that she is still responding to me when I talk to her, by purring is a good sign. She understands and I know her so that helps. What I mean is I am trying to remember this that she can communicate and I understand her communication so I am staying in tune with "her".

It is the most difficult thing though to let go of a being you love and to see the transformation from health to vulnerability. Death is a part of life though and it comes for us all eventually so I am trying to focus as best as I can that for now she is at home with her loved ones and in the comforts of her familiar surroundings. I can still talk to her and tell her how lucky I am to have had her in my life and thankful I am for all her support and love and that her mommy will be okay when she needs to leave. I think that's important for her to know. They sense so much. She continues to purr which brightens my heart the most because she has always been so affectionate in this way and responded to my voice by purring so it helps me to know that she is still okay or I think she would stop to let me know that it is time.

Anyhow, I am rambling, sorry. Thank you again
Barb
QUOTE (madi @ Jan 28 2010, 07:17 AM) *
There has to be nothing in this world more difficult than making this decision. Your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another. OMG, I feel your pain and I understand how you want to keep your baby with you for just that little bit longer. You certainly have my sympathy and understanding, cancer is a curse of a thing and damned painful, but you will make the right decision, you will just know. My thoughts are with you Barb xx

madi xx

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