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I lost my beloved bestfriend to a tumor when she was just 6 years old. I miss her everyday. I have joined this website because others understand thoroughly what I am experiencing and I hope conversation with others will lead to them helping me with my grief and, in turn, I will help them with theirs
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asorryone
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Joined: 11-March 12
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Last Seen: 29th March 2012 - 05:49 AM
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asorryone

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29 Mar 2012
Just under a month ago my beloved bestfriend Tyson passed away, suddenly.
I endured two weeks of terrible pain, pinning for my bestfriend. The tears then began to dry as I acknowledged the wonderful 6 years my family and I had given her - full of love, safety and warmth. The house seemed so broken. The sunny days seemed so pointless without Tyson to take for walks and runs.

We then came across pups for sale in my local area and as we were able to look back on Tysons life with happiness and no regrets, thought we were in the place to give love to another canine companion and perhaps be lucky enough to find friendship in another and in turn give her a wonderful quality of life.

Now, I am reverting back to my feelings of deep sadness over the death of my beloved Tyson - perhaps it was too soon. My mother and siblings have not shared these feelings of mine - they are happy to welcome the pup and have not experienced a backward flow of emotion. My father has become completely opposed to the idea of ever having a dog and doesnt seem himself.

This little pup is beautiful and such a playful soul. I do find that I have a place in my heart for her but as we try and teach her the basic 'sit' and the word 'no' it reverts my mind back to my beautiful Tyson. She was such a gentle soul. She took to our home very well and learned very quickly. She was so smart and unique I just feel as though this little pup will never be her and whilst I am not trying to replace Tyson - because I know I never could and I am longing tomeet her once more in the afterlife - I am scared that I have trivialized myself and Tysons relationship to the outside world. I dont want people to think that we are trying to replace Tyson - she is irreplacable.

Also the circumstances in which Tyson came to us were very unique. Her mother was a stray and we homed her. She had 6 pups and became aggressive after giving birth. When the day came to give the pups and mother to new homes we decided to keep on. Tyson was the only pup in the litter that had any brown on her body and so we decided we would keep her.

Its as though she came walking into our lives and she fitted in with our family life so well. She was so smart, I cannot describe how smart she was words would do no justice. Now, buying this little pup almost seems like an artificial relationship. Tyson came to us and was as though she was tailored for us and this little pup has been bought and its as though we are building an artificial relationship. It may seem strange and silly but i cannot help the way I feel. I am deeply saddened.
18 Mar 2012
I lost my bestfriend and family member 6 year old Tyson to a tumor two weeks ago. She had been vommitting for 10days previous and we had left her into the vets for an x-ray. We did not entertain the thought that we might lose her - but the vet then called with the news that she had a tumor in her gut the size of an orange and nothing could be done to save her. We buried her alongside the deceased dogs of a family friend. Unfortunately I was not there for the burial or to take her home as I am in College which is an hours drive from my home and so I got the news via telephone and could not come home for a few days.

I miss her physical presence so much! Everything from the jingle of her collar to the noise of her sprinting up the stairs. Her hairs still lie on some of my clothing. Her bed and toys lie untouched in the shed. There is a void within me i feel can never be filled. To think she is no longer of this earth terrifies me.

My family loved Tyson as much as I did and so they understand what I am feeling and I can talk to them. However, they seem to cope better with it all than me. My father has been diagnosed with heart failure 5 years ago and since has retired. Since my mother works and myself and my sister are in College my father is alone each day and Tyson offered companionship, regular exercise, love, loyalty, safety and of course entertainment. She was a very special dog, she knew our family inside-out and it was as though she was especially tailored to us.

Losing her has provoked deep thoughts for me - thoughts of death, loss, the afterlife, being alone...I feel as though im exceptionally vunerable/sensative. Since we lost Tyson I cannot stop crying and I am overwhelmed with thoughts of losing my father due to his heart failure. I think about God and the afterlife. My faith isnt strong, I want to believe in God, I want to be certain that I will be reunited with my loved ones in the afterlife never to be parted again - but mordern secular society bombards me with messages of disbelief. None of my friends of family members understand this state of reflection that has struck me. I am turning 20 and studying Law in College. On weekdays I live away from home and due to these recent events i feel exceptionally home sick. I am so scared of losing my parents that i want to spend every minute with them. I have no interest in going out to clubs, bars..i have even lost motiviation to do my essays/go to class. I am stuck in this depressive, reflective state.

I joined this website after reading some posts similar to my situation and have been touched by compassionate responses by people who seem to be like me - a love of animals, of all life..people who has compassionate, loving and reflective. I just hope for conversation with people who can maybe shed light on my current state. i appreciate any helpful, friendly comments. I feel lost and unsure. I have lost a companion, a stable loving soul in this unstable world. Ive even asked myself - what is the point in living, if we live to see our loved ones die?
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