hi everyone. im sorry ive been away so long.alot has been going on. i lost my beloved rat hizache. the little gray/white kitty passed away last month suddenly for an unknown reason, maybe his disability caught up to him.the most recent and hardest happened yesterday evening. for my birthday weekend i bought a duck, a white chick and a tiny brown chick on saturday from a fair. i already had one gray chick. i brought them back to my college because i was showing pets to the children at the pre school i intern at. my sister fell in love with the tiny chick and it always fell asleep in her hand. it was so sweet. it followed around and slept under the gray chick like it was his mom. i was going to give him to my sis when school ends in 2 weeks. i was trying to save him because he was being sold as food. i put them all in a plastic bin which i always kept the gray one in. they slept well but were a little sweaty and there was condensation in the bin when i woke up so i put a fan on top of the lid so air could blow through the holes. i went to class and internship for about 5 hours. i came back to a hot room and the chick was lying down nearly unconscious underneath the gray chick all wet. i took him out and called my sis whose a vet tech. i gave him sugar water and rubbed him. he opened his eyes and peeped a little but was so overheated he was open mouth breathing. i kept him in front the fan. he opened his eyes then passed away in my hands. i couldnt believe it. i kept rubbing him long after hoping for a miracle. i feel so bad because i was trying to save a chicken's life and instead i caused him to die so young. the gray chick was the quietest i ever saw her after the death. i keep beating myself up wishing i had just left the lid off the container but my lizard was loose and i didnt know where he was hiding so i didnt want them to get eatten or hurt. i just looked at the pics i have of him (big red) and i feel sick because i robbed the sweet little loving chick of a long happy life. i feel bad now looking at the others walking around my room together fine and wish his little body had been as strong as theirs with the heat. i feel like i robbed my sis of the pet she was getting attached to. all i kept saying was about his future and i never knew he's die so soon. its hard

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I recently loss a dog a week ago Monday and I also feel very guilty over what I could've done, should've done etc. And I have found this site so helpful. It seems many of us feel a little guilt when we only tried our best. Don't feel guilty, it sounds to me like to tried your best to save this chick. You called your sister who is a vet tech, you used a fan, you were concerned about the Lizard getting it. It seems to me you really did the best you could. I know how you feel and I am still feeling it all a week later. I know it is hard, but beleive me I really think you did the best you could here and it sounds like you have a big heart to try and save the chick. I don't personally know too many people who would think of or be able to keep chicks. It was a wonderful thing you tried to do. I am also sorry to hear about the loss of your kitty as well. My dog died suddenly I didn't even know she was sick, she died at the vet.

thank you trulie. your words of kindness are touching and comforting. i'm sorry for your loss as well. If only we could turn back time. I'm so sorry you lost your dog suddenly. That's so hard when you don't even have time to try and prepare for a loss. what did the vet say was wrong with your dog? thank you for reaching out to me even in your grief.it means alot.

with love corina and her angels

I took my dog Pepper to the vet as she wasn't feeling very well and they did an initial exam and an xray and ultrasound and determined she had Heart Hemangiacarsoma, while I was paying the bill she was waiting for me and suddenly she lied down and wasn't breathing properly, her tongue had turned blue, the vet rushed her to the back to give her oxygen but we couldn't save her. It was so sudden as I had just found out she was sick. I now knew she was sick I was still about to take her home with me, the vet was going to see what our options may be and then all of sudden she collapsed. I went to the vet with her walking in and left without my baby. I feel very guilty now for all kinds of things that day. I feel like taking her to the vet stressed her out to the point she collapsed, I feel like because they put a muzzle on her as she nips when you try to look in her ears that the muzzle frustrated her, I feel I didn't react fast enough when she collasped and wasnt breathing properly. Some how I feel like I let my puppy down, I should've been able to save her and take her home even if was only for a few weeks and instead she didn't make it. I am going crazy thinking about all the things I should've done or could've done. I cried alot today, I don't know some days are good some are bad, but today I felt really sad and down. I can't talk to the family as they don't seem to want to hear it anymore. I posted the entire story if you check my posts. I hope you are doing better with your guilt then I am. I think it is natural to feel this way for a while, because when I read other peoples posts that feel guilty I think why are they feeling guilty they did nothing wrong other then love their pets, but then I think I feel guilty and I do wonder why when I did everything to help my pet. Can't help it though still feeling it.

your story made me cry. im so sorry. i think we blame ourselves because death really makes no sense but we try to find someone to blame or something..i dont know. i felt really down today too. i brought in my two other chicks to the daycare i intern at and was so sad that the children never got to meet the tiny chick who passed. i saw a childrens book with a red hen on it and felt so bad cause that's what the tiny chick was going to grow up to be.i keep thinking about the tiny chick following the gray chick around when the duck does it now. i felt sick and didnt want to be in my mind. you did the right thing to take your dog to the vet. heart problems are unpredictable. last summer my 1 year old kitty acorn was acting sick so he was examed by my vet tech sis. i thought he swallowed something bad or had something simple.she broke the bad news of his disease and 1 week later he passed away from feline infectious peritonitis. it began giving him a seizure so i put him to sleep myself in my home.that was hard enough. i can't imagine him passing the same day of finding out what is wrong with him. that's an even bigger shock. i'm sorry you are feeling down today and family doesnt understand. i can relate. i was planning to give the tiny chick to my sis after i showed the children because she got attached to it. she was upset about what happened and said"i told you so, shouldnt have put him with the others, you didnt listen to me now look what happened" those words are still making me feel bad. im glad we can relate and be there for each other.

with love corina and her angels