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My heart Cooper
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Joined: 23-May 10
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Last Seen: 10th June 2011 - 03:42 PM
Local Time: Mar 29 2024, 04:48 AM
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My heart Cooper

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17 May 2011
Like so many others who have posted this before, tomorrow will be one year since I lost my beautiful baby, Cooper. My little love. I miss you so much. You were my best friend for five and a half years. It used to pain me to leave you for 8 or 9 hours every day for work. I never imagined an entire year going by without seeing that beautiful little face, your tiny pink nose, your furry little toes or your beautiful white flowing tail. How I miss that little bark and playing ball constantly. I know it was your favorite. You were gone so suddenly. There was no time to say goodbye. I knew when that phone rang that something awful had happened. The only thing that helps is that I know that, wherever you are, you knew every day how much you were loved and how much you're still loved. No one can take your place in our hearts. You were the most special little boy. But a year later we are doing ok. Rudy and Dori bring love and happiness to our lives. They could never replace you but they're special in their own ways. Mommy misses you little buddy and I hope you're happy and ok, wherever you may be. We miss you every moment of every day and I pray I will see you again one day. That's my biggest fear - never seeing that beautiful face again. I try to have faith that I will. I love you And miss you so unbelievably much. Good night my boy, mommy.
21 Apr 2011
Almost a year ago, we lost our baby boy Cooper. He was only 5 years old and he died due to a mistake at our vet's office. He was the little love of my life. I miss him every day. We also had another dog, Rudy, who is now almost 11. When Cooper passed, a couple months later we got our puppy Dori. Our house and hearts were too sad and she's helped to bring love back to our home. We've had her for close to a year (one year in July). Last week, Rudy started having problems so we took him to the vet. It looks like he has disc problems in his back. I'm so afraid it was caused by Dori jumping on him when they're playing. I'm afraid that this will keep getting worse and we'll end up having to put him to sleep. I feel so much guilt. Not only do I still have guilt from Cooper's death, I'm afraid the dog we got to help us heal (including Rudy), caused him injury (I know it's not her fault. She's wonderful and Rudy loves her) and this will eventually lead to his death and it will be earlier than it should. He's an otherwise really healthy dog. I know I have to stay positive and not expect the worst. I'm just so afraid this is going to cause him horrible pain in the near future and we'll have to make an awful decision.
9 Sep 2010
Today is going to be rough. It would've been Cooper's 6th birthday. I remember I was so sad early in the year because I didn't want him to get older. I wanted him to be my baby forever. And now he never will get older. Tuesday it was 4 months since we lost him and today is his bday. It makes me even sadder because last year, on his bday, we were at the beach. We weren't with him. I never would've thought that would be his last. I really miss my little man. I've gotten used to the new routine with Rudy and Dori but I miss him every minute of every day. He's never far from my thoughts. No matter what I'm doing, he's right there, on my mind. But I guess that's how he was when he was alive too. I thought about how every decision would affect him. Too bad I didn't put more thought into the decision that took him from me. 

Happy 6th Birthday Cooper. Mommy misses and loves you more than you could know. I hope you are happy and enjoying your birthday, wherever you may be. If you were here, I'm sure we would be doing something special this weekend for your day. You are the love of my life and nothing is the same without you. I love you baby boy. 
7 Sep 2010
I hope this works. I tried to attach a picture of our new baby Dori. She is almost 18 weeks old and we've had her over 2 months now. She's a wonderful little girl who has brought us so much move and joy during this time. I can't wait to watch her grow and learn. She's a wonderful addition to our family.
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25 Aug 2010
It's been a couple weeks since I posted. I was having a really hard time but the last week has been different. For some reason, I've felt ok. I still cry some but I don't feel so weighed down all the time. I hadn't gotten angry at all about Cooper's death, which is weird for me, but the past couple weeks I've had to deal with my vet's insurance agent to settle our complaint. Doing this started to bring out the anger. But I've pretty much let it go. I feel like I'm starting to become detached from what happened. I don't know if this is how you feel when you're starting to accept what happened or if I'm detaching from it unintentionally. I just keep thinking this is the calm before the storm, like I can't possibly be accepting it.
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