How Do You Know When It's Time For Another? Options

[Foxysmummy]

For the first time in my entire life I haven't got any pets and it's horrible. My three year old GSD died in March and my 18 year old cat died last week. I've got to say I feel a huge, massive void at the moment. My cat was called Frank, and while his death was sudden, it really wasn't an easy passing. The vet nurse thought he may have suffered a brain hemorrhage when I described his symptoms to her, and apparently this isn't uncommon in old cats.

My dog Foxy was struck down with osteosarcoma, and we had her put to sleep when she stopped eating. Again this was a massive shock to us, as she was so young. Anyway, the last few days I have realy felt the need to get another dog, the only problem is, my DH thinks that it's too early and maybe we should wait a year or so when our two young children are a little older. I just feel like there is something missing from our house, and my DD who's two and a half misses Foxy and Frank just as much as I do. Just today we bumped into a friend of ours who was walking his GSD, and my DD ran up to the dog and hugged him tight and said, "I miss our doggy mummy". It really broke my heart.

So how do you know when it's time to get another? I'm not looking to replace what I've lost, I could never do that. I just that we could offer a dog a really good home.

[janika]

Dear Irene
This is a difficult one for us to answer, as it's a matter that only you will really know the answer to. I know exactly what you mean about the massive void and the loss and emptyness we feel when 'petless' after many, many years or like you for the first time in your entire life. I wanted to find another fur baby a few weeks after losing my precious Noushka, not to replace, of course we can never do that, but as Sonya said so eloquently , to 'Replenish'.
LIke you My DH and other family members said that it was way to soon, and to have some time, but I just slipped deeper and deeper into depression. After 6 months as you know we were so lucky to have the chance to rescue Pixie, and everyone agrees that she has been so good for me (and my DH who now absolutely adores her).
I know that you have very young children and your DH could have a good point, but I think if you felt that you could cope with having a 'puppy' and also looking after the little ones(which as we know , can be very hard work too) then a 'Puppy' could well be the answer. That way the new fur baby would grow up knowing your little ones and should settle well into the family. I am a great advocate of the 'rescue' system, but I can see that you might be worried to take on a dog that you hadn't known from young puppyhood, with young babies/children in the home. Luckily Pixie is fine with our young grandchildren, but we were very cautious at first. She is so big and towers over the littles ones of 6 years, 2years and 6 months.
I knew in my heart that finding a new fur baby was going to be the best thing for me to do, I felt that it would be a tribute to my darling Angels, and that they would want me to be 'happy' .
The grandchildren adore her and can't wait to come round , not so much to see Nanny and Grandy now, but Pixie Buff as little grandaughter calls her. (think its from the Woof)
I think you just need to have a good 'talk' with your DH, you probably already have, but if you still feel that you're ready for a fur baby, you need to let him know how important it is to you. He has your best interests at heart most probably, but our DH's do sometimes get that wrong. As Madi and I can tell you. Then when the new fur baby comes along , they are usually besotted, just as much as we are, with then new addition.
I always grew up with dogs in the home and they are such a very important part of my life. so much so, that I feel 'incomplete 'without them.
Sorry if I've confused you. I think if you truly feel ready and able to cope with young pets and young children at the same time , then I say you should go ahead. You adore your fur babies as I do , and as we all do on this forum,and you have so much love to give to another deserving fur baby.
Love and hugs
Jan and Pixie and My Angels. xx

[madi]

Irene, I truly believe there is no wrong or right time to get a new fur baby, it totally depends on the individual. I, like janika sank further and further into depression every time I even suggested getting another cat and everyone, especially my husband was fervently against it. This went on for nearly a year and it was only when I became so teary and depressed and my husband could see it was affecting my sanity did he give in. Anyway, I have had my new kitty for about 7 weeks now and I feel so much better for it, I have some joy back again and my husband adores the new boy. xx

madi xx

[patricia]

dear foxysmummy,
im afraid thats a question that only you can answer, but i also believe that the universe and our loved ones help us figure out the answer. we just have to "listen". let me explain. a little over a year ago i lost my dear fred - a little kitty that i had rescued and had for 14 wonderful years. he was joined by a little brother riley that i rescued from the street. together they were my little rays of sunshine. they were my first pets by myself. i had just moved out and knew i couldnt live without furry companions. for fourteen wonderful years they were my companions. and then everything went wrong. the day the three of us were moving to a new apartment, riley passed away. just like that. i was heartbroken and my sunny days turned grey. months later, fred was diagnosed with diabetes and about a year later, he too passed away. i was broken. i didnt know how i was going to continue because i didnt know how to. i had also convinced myself that although i loved all things furry i would never ever have another as the pain was so deep. a week later, ( i believe the universe teamed up with my little fred and riley) my apartment manager whom i would never ever see at night, happened to be outside as i was coming in from work. she asked to speak to me and came to me about a little dog who was found laying on the side of the street as shed been hit by a car. the people who found her were not able to keep her and would have to take her back to a shelter. would i please take her? she at the time did not know of freds passing and as i cried and told her the sad news, i wondered how i could possibly take in another? she never pushed me to take her but the thought of this poor little thing having to go back was also breaking my heart so i accepted. a week later, lucy came into my life. was it easy? no! the first day, i cried and cried and wondered if fred thought i was replacing him. everytime i looked at lucy, i would miss my fred even more. it was just awful. she was in a corner, chewing on a bone and i was in another, on the phone, begging anyone to come take this dog away. but then we had a moment, her and i. it was like she understood that i was trying to get rid of her (something i thought i would NEVER do as i believe in commitment to animals) our eyes met. it was time stood still. and i promised to take care of her from that moment on. i remember telling her that although i wont love her, and if i did, it wouldnt be as much as loved fred and riley, but i would commit to protecting her always and forever. we had our first anniversary in march of this year and she is the absolute love of my life. she now has a little sister ethel. but i believe that it was meant to be. prior i would have advised to wait a while but now i have learned that timing is different for everyone. im so glad i have lucy and ethel in my life. i miss my fred and riley every single minute of every day but my life is richer, funner and happier because of my two crazy girls. im so glad you are asking the question because that means that maybe you are ready for a new one. will the new one replace your sweet babies? absolutely not but i have come to learn that our hearts are a lot bigger than we realize. it is a giant filing system inside of us where all of our loved ones: furry and nonfurry claim a piece i believe you can give a new dog a wonderful new home. it may not be easy, but listen to your heart, your children and everything around you. you will find the answer.
patricia

[Foxysmummy]

Thanks so much for the replies ladies. I have come to realise that I am ready for another, but I can't get my DH to agree at the moment. He just won't budge at all. He just doesn't get it. He'd never kept animals in his life until he met me, and although he truly loved Foxy, Frank and Dylan (my other cat who died in 2008 before I knew about this wondeful site) he just doesn't feel a void like I do.

Jan, I would love to go down the rescue route, and I have rescued in the past but as you say with having two small children at home we would be better with a puppy, and there's the rub! It's the idea of a puppy that's putting my husband off right now. He thinks it would be too difficult with the children being so young, although I know I'd be fine with it. We manage fine with the children, and nothing is more difficult than babies right?

Madi I hope I can get my DH to agree, just like your's did in the end, but he just keeps saying "not yet, when the LO's are older." I'm just going around in circles with him.
Patricia thank you for sharing your story, I'm so glad that Lucy and Ethel are bringing you joy.

Irene xx

[patricia]

good luck! i know that the day will come when you both will agree and you will have a new member of the family. patricia