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> My Sweet, Beautiful Kitty, went to the bridge on Sept 7th
Linsey, Kitty...
post Sep 12 2006, 03:44 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 9
Joined: 12-September 06
From: Yakima, WA
Member No.: 2,067



I know this will probably end up being a long story, but I feel I owe it to her to let others know how wonderful she was. My Kitty was special, and I miss her so very much...

I didn't know what was wrong. She was fine the day before. She just kept panting and looking at me with her beautiful blue eyes saying "Help me Mommy, something's wrong. I'm so scared. I know you can make me better."

When I was a senior in high school (10 years ago), I went to see a friend's litter of kittens that were 4 weeks old. That's when I first saw her, my beautiful Kitty. She was white with grey tabby points and the most gorgeous blue eyes you've ever seen in your life. I knew Mom would never let me have a cat so decided to bring her home and say I found her. The instant she saw her it was a done deal. She had many names over the years but none of them really stuck, none of them fit her personality. It ended up being just “Kitty”. Her favorite place to sit was on my chest while I scratched her ears and her neck. She would sit there contented for as long as I would let her, purring, giving my hands little kisses and looking right into my soul with her beautiful blue eyes. She slept on my pillow next to my head every night.

I don't know how long she waited for me to find her lying by the front step. I just know she knew it would tear me apart if she disappeared. She waited for me to get home. She wanted her mommy to make her better. I took her to the vet as fast as I could. The passenger seat was too far away from her mommy, she had to sit on her lap even though it hurt her mommy to feel her struggle to breathe. When we got there I picked her up and held her like a baby against my chest and shoulder. She gripped me with her little claws and let out a long scared meow.

"Where are we Mommy? I don't know this place. I'm so scared." I tried to hand her off to the tech.

"No! Don’t let me go! I want to stay with you!" She wouldn't let go of my shoulder. They gently lifted her claws off of me and took her away. After only a half hour of x-rays, oxygen and tests, the vet called me into the examination room.

"She's not going to make it." The words hit me like a punch in the stomach. "Would you like to see her?" I walked into the x-ray room to see my baby lying on the metal table with a brown towel wrapped around her. An oxygen mask was next to her face. She let out a little gasp as she tried to breathe. Her beautiful blue eyes stared into nothingness.

"Her heart is still beating, but just barely." I gathered my poor girl into my arms and rocked her while her little heart beat it's last. I closed her eyes for her and held her close. She just wanted to be with her mommy. I so wish I could have been there with her the whole time. Had I known that would have been her last hour and there was nothing they could do, I would have held her and comforted her the whole time. She just wanted to be with me, not made to lie down on a cold hard table and sit still for an x-ray while she was panicking to breathe. Not to lose consciousness and not know her mommy was there rocking her while she passed on to the bridge.

We took her home and decided her final resting place would be in the yard, a spot next to the fence in the back yard. She liked to sit on top of our wooden rail fence and look out into the pasture. We let out other cat, Buddha say goodbye to her before we laid her to rest. He sniffed her little head and laid down next to the cardboard box that would be her casket. We left them in peace there together for a moment. After I filled in her grave and was walking back to the house, my husband called me back over. Buddha was lying on his side across the place we buried her. We went and sat next to him as he purred and rolled around on the fresh dirt. He sat there for a good 10 minutes even after we went back inside.

It hurts so much. I can't stop thinking about September 7th, 2006, when I lost my baby girl. I'm so sorry to rant on as long as I have but I had to get it out. My husband understands my pain but always tries to make it better. I can't talk about it without him trying to make jokes or change the subject, bless his heart. He just wants to help. Sometimes I just need to cry uncontrollably. I had no idea it could ever hurt this bad. I miss you so much baby. My life has been changed forever. Mommy loves you for now and always.


--------------------
If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again.
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Precious' mom
post Sep 12 2006, 07:00 PM
Post #2





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 334
Joined: 24-August 06
Member No.: 1,995



Linsey,
Please accept my condolences on the passing of your baby. You were together a long time, and raised her from a baby. I lost my sweet, blue-eyed one (Precious, aged 19 years 3 days) on 06 August, just five short weeks ago. It's such a painful thing when a cat dies. I was with mine at the end too, and at the time I felt so guilty for choosing euthanasia but my baby was almost gone. He had the beginning of lung cancer and congestive heart failure. Both were sudden onset mostly due to age. I tried everything possible to save him but couldn't.
Know what you did -- loving and caring for your cat -- was the best thing you could have done. And being there at the end was the ultimate, most loving gift you gave her. She's free from pain and suffering and waiting for you when you meet her at the Bridge someday -- think what a reunion that will be!
Praying for you and your family,
Lisa smile.gif
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Furry's mum
post Sep 13 2006, 12:52 AM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 99
Joined: 24-July 06
Member No.: 1,879



Dear Linsey,
I am so sorry to read that your beautiful Kitty died so suddenly & unexpectedly. From your description it sounds like the same type of heart condition that my darling Furry died from on 23/7/06. My vet told me afterwards that cats don't often show any signs of heart disease until it is too far advanced to be treated successfully.
Although it is terrible, you were there to get her quickly to the vets, & there at her passing away. She didn't have to suffer a long drawn out illness.
Furry did live for 21 months after her initial collapse, but suffered the side effect of blood clots that caused paralysis of her back legs & in the end was in pain & distress. You didn't have to make the awful decision to have her pts.
Try & remember that the day before she was happy & perfectly OK.
I find that this site is the best place to talk to people who know how you feel. Like you, my husband doesn't want to go over the sad part anymore, so when it's really bad I can come here & know that I'm not alone in feeling such grief.
love, Judith
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RIT & Cleo
post Sep 13 2006, 09:59 PM
Post #4





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 90
Joined: 29-July 06
Member No.: 1,900



Your story is so heart wrenching....I am so sorry for your loss. Kitty was so lucky to have been loved by you. You did what you could - loved and cared for her well...


--------------------
Cleo
Passed on 7/28/06
after 18 full years

Cleo's Story

Cleo's new little sister Ginger
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Linsey, Kitty...
post Sep 13 2006, 11:32 PM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 9
Joined: 12-September 06
From: Yakima, WA
Member No.: 2,067



I'm sorry the format is all screwed up, it didn't look like that when I previewed it. I'm not sure how to fix it sad.gif Thank you for reading her story though. Love and hugs,

Linsey, Kitty's mommy


--------------------
If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again.
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Furry's mum
post Sep 14 2006, 02:02 PM
Post #6





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 99
Joined: 24-July 06
Member No.: 1,879



Linsey,
Kitty is so beautiful, please post some more pictures of her.
There was nothing wrong with the format.
How are you & Buddha feeling now? Does he miss her? I'm sure you are giving him lots of extra hugs. I didn't have anyone else when Furry died, but now Bella is here it is a comfort.
Judith
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Krissyo
post Sep 14 2006, 02:28 PM
Post #7





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 94
Joined: 20-August 06
Member No.: 1,977



Linsey, Kitty is such a beautiful cat. I am so sorry for your loss and all that you are going thru. You sound like you are a wonderful Mom. The only thing that keeps me going is that I know I will see my beautiful Dugan when I leave this world. I hope that all the furbabies are at Rainbow Bridge swapping stories like we do here. I bet they are all wondering why we are so sad ohmy.gif

I pray for peace and healing for you to get thru this very painful time.

Dugan's Mom
Krissyo


--------------------
Dugan, not goodbye just till we meet again.
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Furkidlets' Mom
post Sep 16 2006, 10:40 AM
Post #8





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 1,208
Joined: 21-June 05
From: Canada
Member No.: 961



Linsey,

I meant to reply to your story about Kitty days ago, so sorry for the delay. I've just been so caught up in my own grief issues, I coudn't get to it til now.

Your story had me panicking and crying along with you. Yes, that was truly traumatic, for both you and Kitty and I'm so sorry you both had such a hard time at the end. But, as Furry's Mom already said, you WERE with her, especially at the end, and that is what counts the very most. There are many, many people for whom their baby's passings weren't ideal...mine, too, and seldom are they perfect. Many of us must learn to focus on the better components of what happened and take some comfort from knowing that even with human death, things are seldom ideal, either. That's one of the things that helps me get through, anyway.

And there is something to be said for not having to go through all the ups and downs, that may take months, of anticipatory grief, watching your baby slowly deteriorate and lose much of what made them happy. It's not the care we must give in these cases that's so troubling, it's the slow and painful loss of things like their mobility and desire to play, etc. So while sudden loss carries its own challenges and own set of grieving reactions, and is in some ways much harder to come to terms with over time, a gradual loss has many minuses, too. Knowing this does little or nothing to really help with your sudden loss, but I'm hoping it will help you see that no matter how it happened, it's so very difficult to deal with it afterwards. They're ALL the pits!

I know one of the hardest challenges in sudden loss is trying to make some kind of sense out of what happened and why. You might try talking to a vet about this, just to get more things clearer in your head, for we must marry the heart and the head when it comes to grief or else we won't be able to accept anything about our loss.

You said the key words yourself....."had I known...."....but you DIDN'T know and can't be faulted for not seeing such a sudden and final diagnosis was about to be handed to you. You didn't know that they'd take her away from you for half an hour, nor that that would be part of her last times here. You were there for her final moments and that was good. You got to hold her in your arms, and that was good, too. Don't let the fact that she was unconscious deter you.....like humans, the last sense to go when they are dying is hearing, and just as people who are in comas can still hear ( and sometimes more ) what's going on around them, so, too, it is with this. Her consciousness may have even already been in and out of her body, watching from just outside herself....again, just as reported in humans who have Near Death ( or even technical death ) Experiences. Trust in that. She heard you and knew you were right there with her and felt your great love for her as she ended one journey and began another. Take these thoughts with you as your mourn for Kitty. She knows......she knows because you are still connected to each other and always will be.


--------------------
"I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you."

[center]~Anonymous~


<div align="center">"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"[/center]

~Fleur Conkling Heylinger~


>^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^<


"For one species to mourn the death of another is a noble thing"

~Aldo Leopold~

<span style='font-size:9pt;line-height:100%'>Life is life - whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage. ~Sri Aurobindo

Spay now or pay later, the interest is killing us.


</span></div>
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