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33 years old
Clarks Summit, PA
Born May-19-1987
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Joined: 24-May 11
Profile Views: 574*
Last Seen: 8th September 2011 - 07:23 PM
Local Time: Jul 12 2020, 09:54 AM
26 posts (0 per day)
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7 Sep 2011
I'm sorry for being away everyone. My life has been real hectic. My cousin was in a bad accident and now he can't walk. There were three others in the car with him. One of his friends died, and I don't think he knows yet. He's in a hospital in Philadelphia so I haven't been able to see him and he was in ICU so the hospital wouldn't give me any information. I've also been traveling a lot for work.

I still miss Zoe every single day. I was packing before (going to NY for work again) and had an errant thought of how happy she was going to be when I came back. It's been extra hard lately. I have so much stress, my dreams are even stressful.

Isabel and Guinness are doing good. Izzy is getting really big. I'll post a picture of her in New Beginnings for you all to see.

Thank you for listening again.
4 Jul 2011
That's what it feels like. Like it's diseased. I don't understand how everyone moves on after losing someone so special, knowing that they're never going to see them again. I see pictures of Zoe and I feel like I'm forgetting about her. I know I keep saying it but I can't explain it any other way. She feels so distant. I don't feel her anymore. I don't feel her in my heart.
12 Jun 2011
It's been almost a month since my baby died, and I can't shake the guilt and regrets, and not knowing what happened to her eats at me every single day. The nights are scary and the house seems empty, it even smells different. I keep wondering what her last thoughts were. Was she scared because she was dying? Was she sad because it was too soon? Did she know what was happening? My purpose in life was to take care of her and I failed. I wasn't even there when she died. I was asleep. I should have felt her die but I didn't. I feel like I have no reason to keep living and everything I believed about what happens after we die I'm questioning. What if we never reunite? What if there is no purpose to our lives at all. I miss my little girl so much. I miss her soft floppy ears and her little white chin. I miss how she was always there when I was upset. I've never felt so alone in my whole life. All I think about is dying so I can see her again, but then I wonder if I'll even find her or if we all just evaporate.
26 May 2011
My name is Erin. I'm 24 years old. I live in Clarks Summit, PA, and I just lost my baby pup, Zoe. She was going to be 8 years old on May 19, we shared a birthday.

Last month she got very sick. I remember the day, I woke up and went into the kitchen. She was on the couch and I heard her get up so I went to give her a hug and kiss. She was in the corner breathing really hard. I thought she was gonna throw up but she didn't. I got her to go outside to get some air and she seemed to be doing a little better. She was outside again when I was leaving for work, I gave her a hug and kiss and turned to go to my car, when I got this overwhelming feeling of panic. I turned around to look at her, and thought to myself, what if this is the last time I see her? I went back over and gave her more hugs and kisses and told her I loved her. That night my family took her to the hospital because she was so sick. The doctor couldn't find anything seriously wrong with her so we thought maybe she just ate something bad.

On Friday, May 13 I came home from work and my mom told me that my best girl wasn't feeling so well, we shrugged it off as her eating something bad again (she was always hanging out near the trash cans) I went out that night and bought her new toys.

The next morning I woke up to my mom coming in my room crying saying she was gone. They took her to the hospital again that morning because she wouldn't get up, my mom and dad had no idea, they thought she was just dehydrated, they left the room to wait in the lobby and the doctor came back and said she was in really bad shape and that they should think about options. Then I guess a nurse came out and said "you need to come quick", by the time they got back to her she was already gone.

My Zoe was the light of my life, my entire reason for existence. The doctor said she just had a weak heart. I've never felt so broken and sad in my whole life. My family's already ok. They got a puppy because my other dog, Guinness, has never been in the house alone and he really needs someone to play with. He loved his big sister and I worry about him a lot.

I'm finding it hard to be close to the puppy.

Zoe was my soulmate, I loved nothing and no one more than I loved her. I should have known there was something wrong.

My family thinks I'm ok. My boyfriend doesn't know what to say to me. My best friend who has been a huge help lives in Massachusetts.

I just really need someone to talk to. I miss my girl so much.

I find myself hoping I'll die soon so I can be with her.
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