It is 16th October again. And 2 years since my boy Bono passed away. Doesn't seem 2 years since I last held him. I hate this date. I much prefer his birthday, or the date I took him home for the first time, but not the date I lost him forever. 2 years gone and I still miss him as though he has only just died.

The feeling of sadness is made worse by my cat Darcey being missing ... Shes been missing for almost 5 weeks now and despite all attempts to find her, and her being microchipped, I am beginning to accept that like it is with Bono, I will never see her again. And I miss them both so very much.

Below is the poem I wrote to Bono just after he died.

To my beloved friend, Bono.

I wish I could have been there
The hour that you died,
I wish I could have held you
And rested by your side.

I wish I could have helped you
And been with you that day,
Instead of coming home to find you
Fading fast away.

And how you wheezed and gasped
And shrivelled up in sorrow,
I wrapped my arms around you
Our last day, no tomorrow.

And I sobbed as I cuddled you
And told you ‘Mammy’s here’,
And I whispered to you, talked to you
As your fur soaked up each tear.

And I’m sorry that all I did
Was fret and moan and cry,
And beg you as you suffered
As I willed you ‘Please don’t die’.

And I held you in the car
As we rushed you to the vet,
But part of me already knew
That I was losing my beloved pet.

And as the vet examined you
You looked into my eyes,
And again I whispered ‘Mammy’s here’
I’m sorry that I lied.

For I left you all alone with them
Even though you needed me so,
And I didn’t kiss your little head
I just let you go.

I’m sure if you could have
You’d have asked me to stay,
And yet I didn’t listen
Instead I turned and walked away.

Selfish beings we humans are
We shrink away and hide,
Yet you have been my special friend
Always by my side

It wasn’t long before you slipped away
Alone, ailing, afraid,
I should have stayed with you
Instead you died, betrayed.

Today I saw your little body
I went to say goodbye,
And I wrapped my arms around you
And I swear I thought I’d die.

I breathed in your lovely scent
And buried my face in your hair,
And told you over and over how sorry I am
That I had not been there.

And as I held your little paw
And stroked your tiny brow,
I felt assured and calm
And I whispered ‘I’m here now’.

There was an assuring comfort
To rest there on your side,
There was a sense of ease
To have you there, consoling me
That you were here, you’d always be
And it’s ok, because your pain is gone
And to be strong, and carry on.

My beloved Bono; this void is immeasurable

2 years on, and I still love you just the same. x

Your poem really touched my heart( and made me cry as if Bono was my own)Sending you a BIG HUG and hope this day passes by with ease...Ann

Oh Gillian, your poem is so true so real, straight from the heart and I know that your love is as strong if not even stronger than it was at that time two years ago. Bono found his way back to you and is soothing your soul, know that you two will always return to each other because you are so bound in this great love. I know how sad you must feel. Don't ever think that you let Bono down, I am sure that had he been in your shoes, he would have acted exactly like you did, sometimes leaving one another is the hardest thing, and no one wants to be ahero at that. I'M terribly sorry that your grief has an added sting with the disappearance of your sweet cat, please try and have good moments today, then an easy weekend, do something different that Bono would approve of, do something wonderful like your love is. Take care dear Gillian, you have a beautiful soul.

Gillian: A beautiful poem...thanks for sharing it with us.

Chuck

Your poem is more than beautiful Gillian. The love you have always expressed about your and Bono's relationship has always touched my heart deeply.

I do hope that in some way, somehow, you were able to remember Bono and smile on this day. Because I know how devastated you are with Darcey still missing, it must make this day twice as difficult.

Here's wishing you warm, happy memories of your sweet Bono on this 2 year angelversary.

Hugs of love and comfort,
Beth

Gillian,

I concur ... you are a splendid poet, but I'm deeply sorry for the losses your poetry speaks of.

I remember so well when you first posted the sad news about your lovely Bono, just weeks after we lost Mack. I remember thinking " not another one...not another precious boy who should have had many more years with his Mom. " And then we lost Sadie last Oct. 20. It used to be my favorite month.


Love and prayers,
Dayna

Gillian
So sorry about your sweet Bono. Your poem struck me especially because it was a lot like my last day with my sweet Cleo, just one week ago. She became very sick Friday night and my husband left her with the ER vet and came home. As soon as we realized how sick she was I tried to get to her but missed her by 50 minutes. I cried and hugged her for so long but was so sad not have been with her that last night. I never thought it would happen so fast. I am still sad about not being with her but I know she knows how much I loved her. It still was comforting to spend time with her body somehow, and to hug and kiss her a few more times. It is so hard though. My heart goes out to you. Thanks for sharing the lovely poem. Bono was lucky to have been loved so deeply.
Jennifer (Cleo's mom).