My Baby Is Gone

Last Sat. midnight my beloved cat, Delyte, ran off my deck to the woods behind my trailer. I sat out all night and at dawn he came out again--only to see me and run back into the woods. We have not seen him again.

He was operated on two months ago for a colon condition, and had to eat every twelve hours or his colon would close up. In addition, he did not have all of his teeth any more. So we don't think he can eat anything out there, and is probably already dead or dying in terrible agony.

I am handicapped and am not able to search the area, but it is several square miles of mostly wooded territory with all kinds of wildlife. We put out two baited traps but we have only caught wild animals.

He was a very shy scaredy cat and there isn't any way he will let anyone near him. I've informed the animal control but they said there is no chance of them encountering him, as they do not come out here.

It is all my fault to have taken him out. There was a thunderstorm coming and he became frightened, and then there were some loose dogs. They didn't chase him but he was so terrified of dogs. He loved being out on the deck and would cry pitifully to go out every night, but I am the adult and I should have known not to let him out. I thought he would come back eventually but I now realize that he must have died by now, if not killed by an animal.

The worst is that he ran from me even when he was crying for me to help him. I don't feel like I can ever have another pet again. I am too stupid to be trusted with them.

Plus I thought he loved and trusted me, and to have him run like that. I feel like I can never trust another animal again, especially a cat. I feel as if I have been his jailer all these years instead of his dear companion.

For the first time in twenty years I have no pets and it is so lonely. I was so close to him during the month of nursing him, and so proud that I pulled him through when the vet said that he would surely die. I could have lived through him dying from the illness but to starve to death outside because of my stupidity is too much to bear.
----Shelley