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Murphy's Mom
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Joined: 8-January 07
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Last Seen: 22nd December 2008 - 05:38 PM
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Murphy's Mom

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20 Dec 2008
About 3 months ago in october we found out our dog gabriel had prostate cancer. A week later we found out he had cancer all over. It has been hell watching him waste away before my eyes and there is not a single thing I can do. We have him on steroids and pain killers but the last couple days it seems the medicines are not working so well anymore. I think we are almost at the end of the road. I watch him walk out to the yard so slowly limping on his one leg and wonder if we are just being selfish to keep him with us. But when I see him barking and trying to play with our younger dog, still interested in eating and just seems ok for now. . . how can you put him down. How can you end his life when he still has so much in him and I just cant. I know that it sounds I think he was still willing to go on as of yesterday but today. He just does not look well and I just see that look in his eyes that same one my other dog had when it was her time and it kills me. Because I am no tready. It is so hard to think about saying good bye but I think it is almost time. I never knew how painful watching cancer take a life could be. It is the worst thing I have ever been through. It is a constant rollar coaster of emotion. Thinking hey he is doing better today but knowing in the back of your head there is no such thing as better with this. He will not get better and it hurts. It just hurts. You know you grow up taking care of these wonderful creatures. The ones that layed by your side on lonely nights when the kids were not so nice at school and they kissed your face when tears were rolling because everything was going to hell at home and now they are the ones who need the comfurt and I cant do anything to help. I do all I can but nothing I do will make it go away. I know he will soon go to a better place away from the pain and the discomfurt. But I cant help but miss him so much for all he did for me for so many years. God is truely taking my angel away.
6 Nov 2008
.This is a great post. I often think about them now that they have moved on and what I loved the most about them. Murphy was one bad cat haha. He had the most attitude I had EVER seen in a cat! My favorite picture of him is him laying on the counter, and his front paws are crossed, he is looking at the dog like he ruled over all. It was too funny. I do miss his never ending ability to make me smile. And how he always new when I was crying. . he would run up and start rubbing up against my face purring. It would always make me laugh. He was truly a one in a million personality!

Scooter was the sweetheart of the family. The only girl animal in the house. She was the mama! When we got Gabe she took him in as if he was her own and made sure he was always with in a few feet of her. She was stubborn though! She was a chow chow/ lab mix. I remember there was one time during the Christmas season . . .we always get our pets their own stocking. They get all sorts of goodies in them. She knew this. She sat at the fire place staring at her stocking for 30 min. We were all laughing so hard we had to give in to her. . . .she wasn't taking no for an answer. Needless to say she got some gifts early that year.

I think this is a great place for people to come and share how they feel and talk about all the good times they had with their pets. It lightens the heart and really helps. My grandma is a great woman and took me into her arms during our loss the first time and said. . ."my dear why are you crying?" And of course I was a little shocked and answered " because it is not fair." she said "to whom?" and i answered "well to Murphy, god took him from me" she said "no" . . ."it is not fair to you. He is in a better place, and he left you back here, where pain and suffering still exists. He now knows endless happiness and love. He is safe and watching over us, and is waiting for you on the other side, so now tell me why are you still crying when you know he is in the best of hands right now?" at that point I had stopped crying because she was right. Every time I get upset and cry, which is still a lot anyway's! I remember they ARE in the best of hands. That goodbye is not forever. And though we miss them dearly and it is miserable with out them, they are happy and loved.

Thank you all for all your kind words and love here. You do not know how much this place has helped me in the past 3 years. It is so therapeutic to just talk and be with people who completely understand. THANK YOU. .
30 Oct 2008
I try to remember that he isnt gone yet but still my heart is just aching knowing that in weeks, months or even days he may be gone forever. I think of all the things i am going to miss so much. from his endless barking that we thought we hated. . ha. . . to his sweet caring attitude of everyone and everything. I will miss it all. I thought that going through it before might make this time a little easier but it doesnt. . .does it ever get easier to say goodbye? I hate goodbyes. . . I know that I will see him again on the other side, but that may be along time concidering I am only 22 ha. (hopefully a long time!) I still try to think of all the good times we had, from camping and swimming in the lake to walks and playtime together. It sucks that cancer is going to take him away from me. He is only 8. I miss him so much already and he is not gone yet. It is a strange feeling knowing they wont be there. . .I think this is worse than loseing them so quickly but I cant really be sure. I am so happy to have the time with him but on the other hand to have this horrible knowledge lingering is killing me inside. Is there anyone out there who has gone through the same thing? Its so frusturating not being able to do anything about it. I try to remain strong. . . it is so hard. My boy is so sick and it hurts me so bad. . . . .
30 Oct 2008
Today we took my love to the vet again and they ran so many tests. They found out he has prostate cancer that has spread to his lungs now. They are not sure how much time he has left but we can only make him comfurtable until we will have to make a choice. They said sometime in the future he will start to struggle to breath and that is when we might want to put him down. My heart breaks for him because he is so young. I have always heard stories of pets and cancer and always thought "not my pet". I find my self in a place of shock . . .and then pain. . .and then anger. Shocked this is happening again so soon. . . angry that it is happening and so sad that i am loseing another best friend. I love him with all of my heart and like my other two loves he will join them soon in heaven on the rainbow bridge waiting for us to join him. Until that day I have to be strong for him because he is so sensitive to our emotions, he doesnt want us upset and crying. . I just cant help it though. I will miss him so much . . .just like my boy Murphy and my Girl scooter. Please pray for healing for my family, we are all in desprite need of strength and healing right now.
Murphy,Scooter and Gabes momma sad.gif
28 Oct 2008
This last two years has been hard on our family. Two years ago this December we lost our childhood cat to old age he was 17. Almost a year later last December we lost our childhood dog to pancreatitus and Kidney Failure. This year we are now not sure, but think out last childhood pat, Gabriel, a German Shepard mix, may have bladder cancer. It really hits you hard when you feel so helpless. The test for cancer came back positive, but the test is only 75% accurate and he also has an infection. So the cells they found could be due to the infection, still it just kills us that we could lose another one of our fur babies so soon. It feels like we have not had enough time to heal yet from the last two. I really question why life is so cruel to hand you a very best friend just to take them away so cruelly. I pray and hope that it is just and infection but with the past results it just seems so hopeless to wish for a better out come. I try to stay positive for him, because he is so sensitive to our emotions. Every time I see his sweet eyes I just want to burst out crying. I don't want to lose my friend. I fell I just CANT do it again. I cant say goodbye. . . I cant let him go watch as he slips away. I just. . . . .I cant. . . .Please pray for me and my family and especially our baby Gabe. Maybe there is hope out there. . .I just don't know anymore.
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