Just a little over 11 years ago my hubby brought home a dog on Christmas Eve as a present for our kids. Girls fell hopelessly in love with him and named Sammy. Sammy had one flaw- he could not handle being alone and cried all the time whenever we weren't in the room and he would get distressed whenever we left the house. My Dad suggested getting another puppy to be his friend. So two weeks later we went back to the shelter and adopted a beautiful beagle/border collie mix who we named Abby. Sammy and Abby because instant best buds, they were inseperable and loved each other very much. Five years later on a cold February day, my daughter and I went out shopping. It was snowing heavily and the garage remote wouldn't work, so we left the garage door open. When we came home we found out that the kitchen door had blown open in the storm and the dogs had gotten out. Abby had come home but Sammy was missing. We searched for 3 days for him, leaving flyers, checking kennels and shelters, asking neighbors, placing ads, all of it. We eventually got a call from one of our neighbors, she had found his body on the side of one of the back roads a few blocks from our house. We were so sad and I never got over the fact that I didn't close the garage door- and that is how Sammy got out.. Abby plunged into depression- she would hardly eat, wouldn't wag her tail, and would cry all the time. She was this way for 6 months and we thought she was never going to get over it. She eventually got a spring in her step back.

For 6 years Abby and our new dog Katie lived at peace. Abby turned 11 in November- she was overweight and had bad arthritis in her back legs. But she still had the sweetest disposition, very gentle and loving. This past weekend we got hit with 15" inches of snow and then plunged into below freezing temperatures- life threatening ones around 30 to 40 below zero. On Tuesday morning I woke up early because I heard some weird crying in the kitchen. I was groggy and turned over to see if my hubby was still in bed, when his side was empty I went back to sleep. The crying only lasted a minute at most. A couple of hours later I was sitting up in bed reading my book when my husband came in and told me that Abby was dead. I was in shock I asked him how he said he just came home early from the office and found her in the kitchen. I had no idea that he had even went into the office, because everything in our town was completely closed up. Abby loved food- and she found a bag of potato chips. The bag got sealed onto her face and suffocated her. The horror when I realized that the crying I heard was my precious girl dying and if only I had gotten up she would probably still be with us. Couple that with the fact that I'm the one who accidentally left the potato chips out and well it's more than I can bear. Abby was always there for me, and I let her down. I can't sleep- every time I close my eyes I hear the cries and see her sweet face. I've barely eaten and I am sad every second of every day. I will never forgive myself for not going down to check on the dogs- for not saving my beautiful, sweet girl. For assuming that hubby was home and not checking.... I am completely devastated. I miss her so much and think about her constantly.

This weekend I found a picture of Sammy and Abby when they were puppies cuddled up on my daughter's lap. I burst into tears that both of our precious puppies we lost because of careless human error. Sammy's life was cut short at just 5 and Abby was with us for 11 incredible years. I don't know if time will heal this wound, it is just too gaping.

Thank you for reading this and allowing me to post this story. Rest in Peace Sammy and Abby- together again.

Hi, octoberdana, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Abby and Sammy. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing two companions under tragic circumstances intensifies the grief.

Octoberdana, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. One of the many emotions that ALL of us struggle with is guilt / remorse, and it is one of the harder emotions to reconcile because it comes from looking back and trying to find a peace with the "whys", "what ifs" and "if onlys".

There is no doubt that you did everything in your power to give your beloved Abby and Sammy a happy and healthy earthly journey. I, too, have an automatic garage door opener with a remote and know how frustrating it is when the remote doesn't work properly. Like you, I, too, have left the house on occasion with the garage door open - - which also leaves the inside door to the house vulnerable to wind gusts. And there are times when I think I have left things in a safe place on counters out of the reach of my companions only to find that they have found a way to drag items onto the floor to play with them, or try to open the containers.

Octoberdana, we make decisions based on the information we have at the time. It was perfectly logical for you to think that your husband was checking on Abby - - you had no reason to think he would have ventured out into the weather to go to the office during a time of extreme hazardous weather conditions. What happened with your beloved Abby and Sammy are very tragic accidents - - which I know pierce your very soul with a seering pain of sorrow. I hope and pray that someday you will be able to feel a peace in your heart that your beloved Abby and Sammy KNOW you love them and that you would move heaven and earth to keep them happy, safe, and healthy.

Unfortunately there is no easy way to navigate this grief adjustment journey - - for it is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure. The tragic event of your beloved Sammy's transition home to the angels is also a part of your grief adjustment journey with your beloved Abby. But you do not travel this journey alone, octoberdana. You are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. You are in a safe place to share with us what is in your heart without fear of reproach, rejection, or recrimination.

Even though your heart is shattered, there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Abby and Sammy share. Love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Abby's and Sammy's sweet Living Spirits continue to share your earthly journey as they always have and always will - - for they are always and forever a part of your heart and memories, octoberdana - - they are always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I do so know from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there really are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. Still, I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Abby and Sammy with us, octoberdana. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of them with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, octoberdana, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

So far I have cried every day. I have periods of highs and lows. Today I was able to talk about happy memories of Abby with a co-worker only to sob uncontrollably when I walked into the house and she wasn't there to greet me. She used to bark when I pulled into the garage, and now my car is met with silence- haunting silence. It's just awful.

I don't have many pictures of Sammy since he left us in 2008, but I do have one of Abby taken just days before she passed away.

She was a beautiful, sweet girl loved by everyone who met her.

Abby November 4, 2002-January 7. 2014

Hi, octoberdana, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing and the wonderful picture of your beloved Abby. She is a real sweetheart.

I do so understand how you're feeling when you share with us: "So far I have cried every day. I have periods of highs and lows. . . . sob uncontrollably when I walked into the house and she wasn't there to greet me. She used to bark when I pulled into the garage, and now my car is met with silence- haunting silence. It's just awful."

Even when we have other precious companions in our home, there is no mistaking the unbearable sound of silence from the physical absence of those who are now with the angels. It can feel like the house itself is grieving the physical absence of loved ones who are no longer with us.

This is part of the grief adjustment journey, octoberdana. You may even find yourself calling out your beloved Abby's and Sammy's names - - for no apparent reason. But I assure you that if this happens it is your heart recognizing that your beloved Abby's and Sammy's sweet Living Spirits are still with you - - I assure you it is NOT because you are losing your mind.

Thank you again for sharing a picture of your beloved Abby with us, octoberdana. I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Abby's and Sammy's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Getting through the days a little easier... still feel guilty and still miss my Abby girl so much.

Tonight we had some friends over and when I realized that Abby wasn't there to greet them, the pain hit afresh. Oh my heart hurts for my girl.

My family wants to get another dog this summer to keep our remaining dog company, so tonight I spent a little time researching different shelters and breeds just to see what is out there when the right time comes. It was oddly comforting which then made me feel disloyal to Abby.

Oh what a precious girl she was!

Hi, octoberdana, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are going through is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal.

Embracing a new companion is a very personal decision. Some people find it helpful to adopt quickly after a loss, some people find it helpful to wait until their deep sorrow has eased. Please know you are NOT being disloyal to your beloved Abby by looking at pictures of other companions who are patiently waiting for a forever home. I firmly believe your beloved Abby's sweet Living Spirit will guide your and a new companion's paths to the point in time when you will know beyond all shadow of a doubt that it is the RIGHT TIME and RIGHT companion for you.

One day when you least expect it you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Abby and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and your heart will warm once again with all the treasured memories you and your beloved Abby share. But until this day comes, please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Abby's and Sammy's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

The day Abby's ashes came home was the hardest day of all. It wasn't really the ashes that made me sob, but rather the clipping of her hair. Taking the hair and holding it and realizing it that it was the last piece of my beautiful girl was unbearable.

I couldn't take the sadness so my daughter and I went out to the store to get some treats for our remaining dog. While we were there, we looked at some of the puppies- like we always do when we go to that store. We were about to leave when we noticed one particularly cute puppy. We took her out to play with her and she was just something else! She made us laugh- something we hadn't done in the weeks since Abby died. We took a video of her jumping around like a crazy dog! We showed my husband the video and he said let's go see the dog.

Needless to say that cute little puppy came home with us. It just seemed right. She is a boston terrier/beagle mix- brindle, black and white. Ironically our dearly loved Sammy was a terrier mix and Abby was a beagle/collie mix- both of them were red/white. So our new little puppy is a perfect blend of our departed dogs but looks very different from them too.

We had great discussion about her name but finally decided on Lucy which means light. And light is exactly what she has brought to her family. I still miss Abby every day and think of her all the time, but I like to think that she is smiling down on us- playing with Sammy and happy that Lucy is bringing us joy and making us laugh. It is what she would want....

Hi, octoberdana, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and I would like to offer you my sincerest CONGRATULATIONS on your new companion Lucy. May you and your precious Lucy have a long, happy, and healthy earthly journey together!!

There is no doubt in my mind that your beloved Abby and Sammy led your paths to that moment in time when you see Lucy and you would know beyond all shadlow of a doubt that you belonged together. Your beloved Abby and Sammy are so happy to have a new baby sister in the family, and they are celebrating that your hearts are smiling once again - - for indeed - - this is EXACTLY what they want for you.

I hope today is treating you, your precious Lucy, and all your family kindly, octoberdana, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Abby's and Sammy's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing. And - - perhaps you would like to share a picture of your precious little Lucy with us - - but only when / if you want to.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

The recent days have had moments of pure sadness missing Abby so much and moments of sheer joy laughing at Lucy and all her craziness. Some days are harder than others. I miss the peacefulness of my house with Abby and I miss her sweet, tender nature. I took a video of her playing in the snow two days before she died and I play it almost every day. Her tail is wagging and she is happy and loved and that is how I'm trying to remember her.

Lucy is a wonderful, yet hyper puppy. She loves to lay in my lap and has about a 20 second attention span. Haha! I hope that Abby approves.

I'm attaching a picture of Lucy...