I'm Heartbroken!

Our gorgeous cat, Louie, has disappeared from our neighborhood. We live on the end of a cul-de-sac with no busy streets, and all of our cats have been let out daily for awhile. Louie never came home this past Tuesday. I've done EVERYTHING to find him - you name it. There's nothing more I can do, and I miss him horribly - as does his buddy here at home, Leo. Jasmine, who is a 22 year old tortie, doesn't miss him - she only got along with one other cat in her life, Lester, and she has way outlived him.

Louie was my baby - I called him my "little ray of sunshine," because I suffer from several ailments, including clinical depression, type II diabetes, bad osteoarthritis, and Crohn's disease. All are pretty well under control now, except for the awful depression, which has made Louie's loss unbearable. I took the day off from work the day after he disappeared to put up flyers at some businesses, deliver them to homes, call the Humane Society, the microchip company, three local vets' offices, and just cry my eyes out. I still call for him every morning and every evening, but I cry after that. He was such a loving cat, and following me from room to room when he was in, slept with me, purred madly with me, stood up against the kitchen counter and waved his paw at me when I was getting ready to feed him, played with Leo - I just miss him so much I can't stand it. With depression, something like this is just unbearable, as I said. I've seen my therapist, and called the psychiatrist who prescribed my recent medication. I emailed four friends on Friday asking them to please call me this weekend if they get a chance and told them why. Only two have called so far, and only one was helpful. As you all know, many people just don't get it when a pet dies or is lost. The man I work with started making little jokes until I flat-out told him, "It's NOT funny." Now he's been nicer.

I have a husband and two adult children who are living at home now due to the economy. My husband works 12 hour shifts plus every other weekend, many nights, so I rarely see him. I am taking this so hard, I'm sure, because when we had to euthanize two other cats we loved, they were very sick, older, and deserved to be relieved of their pain. With Louie, he was 5 1/2 years old, healthy as an ox, muscular, 16 pounds, had all his claws, was a good tree-climber (we have lots of trees around our neighborhood) and could defend himself well, I'm sure. He is microchipped, and my only hope now is that someone took him in and will eventually take him either to a shelter or to their own vet, and his microchip will be checked. It's been 4 days now, and I'm not even functioning well.

I guess I just had to get all of this off my chest and I figured people on this forum would totally understand my grief and sense of helplessness. Thanks for letting me vent!

Rita in MN