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whitebird
post May 7 2007, 01:59 AM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 5
Joined: 1-May 07
Member No.: 2,937



Pinky, sweet precious Pinky is gone and I don't think he's coming back. It's been 3 weeks now and I know he's never coming back. I didn't give up on him...I just know somehow. Still my heart soars when I imagine he is back, thinner though, his injured neck and back healing..sitting there on the walkway with the other cats looking up at me with that sweet little face and crinkly ears...

I came here to Lightning Strike for support. I was glad to see there was a place specifically for people who have lost or missing animals. I read each and every post looking for comfort and for sharing the emotions unique to this type of loss. Through the course of reading everyone's posts I see they are being referred to the Death and Dying board. There I have searched for threads on missing pets and they are just lost among all the others. Ironic huh? I think I only found one.

This doesn't seem fair. I am kindly suggesting that the missing and lost board be encouraged and active. We need each other desperately. We can't grieve the same way everyone else does...there is no body, we don't even know if our loved ones are alive or dead, suffering somewhere or living another life with someone else. I have lost many beloved animals but this kind of pain is different. You feel lost in a kind of hell of desperate questions with no answers.

Could we please get this back up and running so that people like us have a place to go to get some measure of support from others who have been or are going through the same experience?
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LS Support
post May 7 2007, 09:03 AM
Post #2


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Posts: 1,073
Joined: 3-March 03
From: Midwest USA
Member No.: 1



there are more than one post dealing with lost or missing pets, you are in the forum now and i can see there are more than one.

to be honest, i have been thinking of removing the 'lost or missing' forum because the site does focus mostly on pet loss (death of a pet) rather than losing a pet. lets see to where the discussion points.

there is a lost and missing pet site i know of, but it is for Ohio only. it may give you some support and/or ideas: http://www.petfbi.com/


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whitebird
post May 7 2007, 10:59 PM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 5
Joined: 1-May 07
Member No.: 2,937



I meant I could only find one thread on lost and missing mixed in with other posts on the Death and Dying Board, not here. Anyway, I hope people can be encouraged to post here so we can see the posts without having to search for them over there.

Maybe I'm confused and that you are just copying them from here to over there so that they're in 2 places?
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Muffins
post May 8 2007, 04:05 PM
Post #4





Group: Moderators
Posts: 776
Joined: 26-February 04
From: Massachusetts, USA
Member No.: 245



Hi Whitebird:

I am so very sorry to hear that your precious guy Pinky wub.gif has been missing sad.gif . Was Pinky an indoor kitty, or did he go outside? Do you live in a busy city or in the country? I sincerely feel your pain. I was a teen when our sweet Sandy went missing.....but, it's a torment that one never forgets!

QUOTE
Maybe I'm confused and that you are just copying them from here to over there so that they're in 2 places?


The only threads that have been moved from this forum Lost or Missing Pet Support over to the Death and Dying Pet Support forum will have a little red arrow in the envelope to the left of the Thread t*itle. Also, the word "Moved" will be right before the Thread t*itle name.

One the first page of the Lost or Missing Pet Support forum (where we are now), I can see only three threads that have been moved to another forum.

QUOTE
I came here to Lightning Strike for support. I was glad to see there was a place specifically for people who have lost or missing animals. I read each and every post looking for comfort and for sharing the emotions unique to this type of loss. Through the course of reading everyone's posts I see they are being referred to the Death and Dying board. There I have searched for threads on missing pets and they are just lost among all the others.


With the members permission, on occasion, we will move a thread to the "Death and Dying" board. The reason for that is because they haven't received any responses and it has been more than a few days.
The Death and Dying forum is more active, and the liklihood of someone responding is a lot greater.
Because that forum is more active, there is greater visibility.

QUOTE
We can't grieve the same way everyone else does...there is no body, we don't even know if our loved ones are alive or dead, suffering somewhere or living another life with someone else. I have lost many beloved animals but this kind of pain is different. You feel lost in a kind of hell of desperate questions with no answers.


I agree with how you feel. Losing a beloved furbaby and all of the varying emotions that accompany that type of loss IS very different than a pet who has passed away.

I can remember back 32 years ago (I was 14), when my precious furcat Sandy (my name for him was Irving wub.gif ), didn't come home one night. I counted on my mom to watch out for him during the day when I was at school, and as soon as I came home, I walked around my neighborhood & called his name hundreds of times, posted signs. We also put an ad in the local newspaper. My friend and I would knock on doors and see if anyone had seen him or heard of a new kitty in the area.

I prayed to God, St. Francis & St. Anthony that we would find him and/or that he was safe and in the care of someone who was feeding and giving him water.

Losing a pet, a beloved best friend is devastating. I remember having a constant sickening feeling in my stomach -- Day after day, night after night, not knowing his whereabouts..... I desperately wanted/needed him back -- my heart was shattered without him sad.gif !

That, to me, is the difference between a pet who is lost from home and a pet who was died. With the latter, at least you know where your furbaby is.
When one is lost....you just don't know where they are, or if they're okay. What if they're hurt and can't get home? Were they hit by a car and on the side of a road??

It's the NOT KNOWING that can make one insane. I just could not rest.

QUOTE
I am kindly suggesting that the missing and lost board be encouraged and active.


I've been a very grateful member here at Lightning-Strike after we had our sweet girl, Ernestine put to sleep in February 7, 2004. I didn't know that Lightning-Strike (or, any type of group) existed until the early hours of February 8th, after my husband went to sleep for the night. I needed to 'talk' with others who understood what I was going through, so I did a computer search for "Pet Loss Support.

I think the only way the "Lost or Missing Pet Support" forum could become more active is by word of mouth and/or if someone is looking for support and did a computer search.

I have put up a sign in our veterinarian's office letting people know about LS. Whenever I hear ("overhear" wink.gif ) someone talking about an issue that I feel LS can be beneficial, I write out the Lightning-Strike link for them.

With regard to our furkitty Sandy (Irving wub.gif ) so many years ago, it was just about 2 & 1/2 weeks when our waiting came to an end. I was very blessed that our story had a very happy ending. (Thank You God!!)
Not even 1/8th mile away (a couple of blocks), as I was sitting on the steps in front of my girlfriend's house, sitting on the porch windowsill of the house to my left was my sweet boy biggrin.gif !
I confronted the people who took him and they wouldn't give him to me - saying that they really wanted him - they'd "buy him" from me sad.gif .

Being a kid, I was scared, so I ran home and got my mother. Thankfully everything worked out well and we took him home, where he was supposed to be biggrin.gif !

I know that our Lost and Missing Pet Support board is not that active. I just did a Google search for "Lost and Missing Pet Support" and here is the result:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=lost+...ing+pet+support

There is a support group on Yahoo:

http://groups.yahoo.com/search?query=pet+loss+support

And, I thought I'd check on Care2 for pet loss support groups, (which I've found to be a very supportive community for various interests), and found this:

http://www.care2.com/c2c/group/CircleofLife

Whitebird, I will surely keep you (and your precious guy, Pinky) in my thoughts and prayers. .....I know you stated that:
QUOTE
"It's been 3 weeks now and I know he's never coming back. I didn't give up on him...I just know somehow.


Miracles can happen -- I will pray that a miracle happens and that Pinky wub.gif finds his way home, or that you find your way to him...... I'd love for you to feel that same type of elation that I felt so many years ago!

Please do let us know how you are doing, okay? We do care very, very much.

Peace & Love to you and yours,

Denise

(p.s. - Please excuse me if there are any errors or if I've been redundant....I've a sinus infection & asthma problems right now & the meds I'm on have made me extremely exhausted. Thank you).


--------------------
Our Beloved Girl, Ernestine (AKA) "Ernie-Bird"
April, 1984 - February 7, 2004
***AFFA***
Forever, you will ALWAYS live on in our hearts!
DEPARTED FROM EARTH, NEVER FORGOTTEN.... Love, Mom & Dad xoxoxoxoxo


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"He who is cruel to animals becomes hard also in his dealings with men. We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." Immanuel Kant

"Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight" Albert Schweitzer
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whitebird
post May 9 2007, 03:32 AM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 5
Joined: 1-May 07
Member No.: 2,937



oh Denise, I'm so glad you found (Irving) smile.gif
Those happy stories make me feel so good.

Yes Lightning Strike is a wonderful place...I used to post here a little back when I lost my soul mates. It is very comforting to be able to talk about the loss of a beloved animal with people who do understand your pain. There's real value in that.

I appreciate so much your kind words to me about Pinky...it helps to know someone cares.

Yes Pinky was an outdoor only cat. He came to us about 3 years ago. I've taken in lots of cats and given them a good home. I have indoor cats too so to be able to do this I've had to resign to having some indoor, some outdoor. Between here at home and at my husband's shop we have 14 cats, well, 13, now.

We live on 5 fenced acres though obviously not cat-proof. All my cats never venture beyond the property, except Pinky. As dangerous as I knew this was I hoped Pinky would be ok. Who knows the life he had before he came to me...though nuetered roaming was in his blood I guess. He'd go down to visit the neighbors down the road and "hang out" with their cat. There are only 4 families living out here in this country subdivision so no there was not a lot of traffic but as you can see, there are dangers for a vulnerable little creature no matter where you live.

I've come to believe Pinky may have been shot by kids on an ATV. I contacted an animal communicator and she thinks that's what happened. She said "he crawled a small distance trying to get back home where his energy left." Another communicator sent me a dousing map showing his track and where it 'ends'. I had a dream 2 or 3 days after he went missing and there was an injury to the back of his neck and back. The communicator told me he was shot in the neck...this was a week and a half after my dream.

So now I'm left with these terrible haunting visions of my precious Pinky...my dream, the map and the words of the communicator. I wake up in the morning with those thoughts and it's horrible. I don't know if he died fairly quickly or lingered for a week...I'll never get to know and yet the truth might be even more unbearable than it already is.

The only comfort, if you can call it that, is to believe it's over for him, the pain and suffering. The hardest part for me is that he may have suffered terribly and died alone, and at the hands of a human being. How do I come to terms with that? Pinky didn't deserve that...he was sweet and trusting.

This has thrown me into a deep depression...I just don't know how to get through this one but I know I have to...you do or you die. I never thought I could ever survive losing my little soul mates years ago but you do survive because you have no choice.

I've been there with all of you and it's so hard.

When we move to a new place there is going to be a cat-proof fence for them. We have one now for the indoor cats so they can have access to the outdoors. I'm also investing in the new technology for tracking cats. You have a receiver and the transmitters are on the cat's collars. You can track a cat 1/4 mile away even in dense woods...if only I had...

What Pinky went through and the hell I'm going through now is more than enough reason to speak up for keeping your cats safe...if they're going to be outside do whatever you can to insure their safety. I'm not so sure the freedom Pinky had, and wanted no doubt, was worth the way he may have died.

Again, thank you Denise for reaching out to me. I will check out the other sites. If LS decides to do away with this board it will still be a godsend for those who desperately need a little love and support in their darkest times.

vicki
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