Sammy was a german shepherd cross rough collie rescue dog who I bought in 1997 with a small lottery win. He was born in 1994 and had been taken away from his owners at the age of 18 months as he'd been starved and beaten by them. He was a very frightened dog as you can imagine. When I first saw him, he was cowering in a chewed up old plastic dog bed that didn't even have a blanket in it, at the end of his run. I spoke to the kennel owner about him and she told me he had been at the kennels longer than any other dog there, everyone passed him by. All the other dogs would run up to the fences barking and wagging their tails at visitors except for Sammy. He had been there for 18 months. He was very malnourished and sad. I was concerned about the running of this rescue centre as all of the dogs seemed underfed. (Some years later, the kennel owner was dismissed for bad treatment of the dogs and spending all the funds on herself.)

Sammy was very quiet and subdued for a good few months, frightened of his own shadow. With a lot of TLC and patience, he became the best dog I had ever owned. He was obedient, kind natured and affectionate, loved playtime and long walks. He was always wary of strangers though and wouldn't accept treats or strokes from anyone he didn't know well.

About 6 months ago, his back legs slowly started to give way. I took him to the vet and he was given Metacam oral suspension painkiller, the vet said that his spine was causing the problem. Increasingly, he found it difficult to walk. Just before Christmas, he had got to the point where he struggled to get up off the floor and I thought that the time had come. But I was too selfish to part with him just then I suppose. I took him back to the vet and was assured that he wasn't in pain, so I kept on buying the medication, living in hope, but also knowing that the problem wouldn't go away. He was still enjoying his food though and even played as best he could, so he was having some quality of life. He was also very bright and perky and still had a 'young dog face'
It got to a point recently that he was really struggling and was literally pulling the back part of his body along by his front legs. So last Saturday, March 14th, I took him to the vet for his final journey. I gave him lots of treats in the early morning and he thoroughly enjoyed them, wagging his tail, still looking perky and happy not having a clue what was about to happen. He was in such a bad way physically it was a struggle to get him into the car and it took two of us, he was a big dog. When I arrived at the vets, I couldn't manage to get him out, so the vet came out to the car with her equipment. I have never known such a terrified dog as Sammy was when she started to give him the lethal injection. She couldn't get the needle in properly, blood was pouring out of his leg and he was crying in pain. It was one of the worst experiences in my life and I'm sure for Sammy's too. She eventually got the needle in and Sammy started to drift into unconsciousness. But, the vet hadn't brought enough pentobarbital with her and had to go back into the surgery to get more. Another shot and it was goodbye to Sammy. I stroked and cuddled him until his heart stopped beating. My heart is breaking. He had a terrifying start to his life and a terrifying end and I feel like I've betrayed him, he didn't deserve to die, especially not in that way. I feel so guilty and can't accept that he's gone, the house feels quiet and empty.

Thank you for touching our hearts with your beautiful story of Sammy. I would say that you simply changed one winning into another when you rescued your Sammy, he sounds like he was such a lovable character and you are the one who brought his personality out , his early experiences had up till then kept him in a shell. How he must have thought himself special and so loved, as soon as you came to him and took over his life. How he must have savoured each moment from then on, no wonder he managed so well to bear the burdens that came along with old age. With the bad start that your Sammy had at first, the fact that you managed to keep him for a relatively long time is to your credit, many who were mistreated and malnourished don't live very old, they rarely make it past their tenth birthday, your good care of Sammy bought him back a few years at least. The euthanasia wasn't as you would have wanted, I'm so sorry for this. I know how when we love them so much, how we would want them to go through a perfect ending. But in reality, there is never such a thing as a perfect death,even if they were to be asleep when they go because no matter how it happens, death is something awful to see happen to those we love. I wondered for years why things had happened as they had for my soulmate and at times I wondered if there isn't a sort of obligatory period of suffering for most , a sort of way for the soul to reach another level perhaps. Sammy knows completely how you would have wanted to protect him from any kind of pain then just like you did throughout his existence with you and he has no more pain or any negative emotions, I'm sure he is presently able to bask in the love that you have created for him, he slumbers deep inside your heart knowing that this is where he belongs until you are both able to reawaken to fly together wherever you want. I hope that you will get better through Sammy's magic, that he will somehow lighten your heart. Go outside whenever you feel overwhelmed, take a walk where it is quiet and you will feel Sammy's presence, able to follow you wherever you go, able to see and feel the great big world that is yours and able to follow you in the loves that will come along, your love for Sammy will be there all along and your beauty from within will be there for all to feel.
I am sure that Sammy is taking good care of your heart. You take good care of what surrounds that very special heart. Hugs, courage, it will get better, for sure.

what a wonderful life sammy had with you. i cried reading your story. it touched me deeply how you opened your heart and welcomed sammy into your life. how incredibly lucky he was to have you and you him. i too lost my pet very recently and have lost many in my lifetime. and i know how hard it is and the deep pain you are left with. but please know that sammy loved you till the very end and he knows that you loved him with all your heart. i am so very sorry for your loss. cherish the wonderful memories you made with him. thats how i cope and everytime you think of sammy, think of him running and playing with all his new friends, sunbathing and not having any more pain. again, so very sorry.

Dearest fuzzypeg, plz forgive as it's very hard to type. am crying so hard. Sammy's Story is so very similar to my fur kid dog i rescued in 1987 when she was 6 years old. so very similar indeed. what a wonderful gift you gave to Sammy by opening your heart and home when everyone else just past him by all those many months. and what an awesome life you gave him. so very blessed, loved and happy all because of you. plz know that he sees you, hears you, is right there with you at this very moment and is so grateful to you.

Now he's young again, happy, healthy, has no fear at all and playing with many pals until that one sweet day when you will see him again ... and he will see you. once more, there will be so much joy, hugs and kisses as you run into each other's arms!

You are a wonderful person! plz never forget that.

Please turn up your volume and click on Rainbow Bridge image below to see Sammy ... He is oh so very joyous at the Rainbow Bridge! Do make sure to click "begin" where it says after brief time it takes to load ...





God bless you most abundantly! Many Comforting Hugs!!!

Always,
Dottie xooxox

My sincere sympathy to you for your loss of your beloved Sammy. And thank you for welcoming into your home the little guy no one else thought was special.

Thank you all so much for your replies. The rainbow bridge link is beautiful. ♥
I'm still grieving and the pain still hurts as the memory is still so fresh and clear, but hopefully,
one day I'll remember all the good times I had with Sammy and push the fact that
his life started and ended in such a tragic way to the back of my mind.
I would just like to add that this is a truly wonderful forum.
God bless you all xx
(Sorry I look so miserable in the photo, I'm not normally, just hate having my photo taken)




Me and Sammy

Who can say for certain maybe you're still here. I feel you all around me. Your memory's so clear. Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak. You're still an inspiration. Can it be ...

That you are my Forever Love. And you are watching over me from up Above!

Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star. I wish upon tonight to see you smile! If only for a while to know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping here inside my dream? And isn't faith believing all power can't be seen. As my heart holds you just one beat away, I cherish all you gave me everyday!

'Cause you are my Forever Love watching me from up above. And I believe that Angels breathe and that Love will live on and never leave!

Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant star! I wish upon tonight to see you smile. If only for a while to know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are!

I know you're there! A breath away's not far to where you are!

I'm so sorry for your loss of Sammy. He was one super lucky dog to have had you to love and care for him. I know the guilt you experienced at the end. Mine wasn't without either. I'm having a real hard time forgetting that last day. Instead I/we should concentrate on the happy memories they gave us. We want them back so badly and it can never be. Think of Sammy with a smile. He is always with you. Sammy is a beautiful dog. He got passed up for so long until just the right one came for him. You were so lucky to have had eachother in your lives..I understand how empty you feel. Please post and read here often. I hope you find comfort with this site...Hugs..Ann

I love that song, it's beautiful. Thank you for posting it Angel. I lost both my parents too a couple of years ago, 5 months apart from each other, it just seems that everything I care for is slowly being taken away from me. I can't believe that it's a whole week ago today that Sammy was taken from me. Everything that has been posted on this thread means a lot to me, thank you for your kind comments and for caring. Anne xx