About 3 months ago in october we found out our dog gabriel had prostate cancer. A week later we found out he had cancer all over. It has been hell watching him waste away before my eyes and there is not a single thing I can do. We have him on steroids and pain killers but the last couple days it seems the medicines are not working so well anymore. I think we are almost at the end of the road. I watch him walk out to the yard so slowly limping on his one leg and wonder if we are just being selfish to keep him with us. But when I see him barking and trying to play with our younger dog, still interested in eating and just seems ok for now. . . how can you put him down. How can you end his life when he still has so much in him and I just cant. I know that it sounds I think he was still willing to go on as of yesterday but today. He just does not look well and I just see that look in his eyes that same one my other dog had when it was her time and it kills me. Because I am no tready. It is so hard to think about saying good bye but I think it is almost time. I never knew how painful watching cancer take a life could be. It is the worst thing I have ever been through. It is a constant rollar coaster of emotion. Thinking hey he is doing better today but knowing in the back of your head there is no such thing as better with this. He will not get better and it hurts. It just hurts. You know you grow up taking care of these wonderful creatures. The ones that layed by your side on lonely nights when the kids were not so nice at school and they kissed your face when tears were rolling because everything was going to hell at home and now they are the ones who need the comfurt and I cant do anything to help. I do all I can but nothing I do will make it go away. I know he will soon go to a better place away from the pain and the discomfurt. But I cant help but miss him so much for all he did for me for so many years. God is truely taking my angel away.

Dear Murphy's Mom,

Boy, do I know what you are feeling right now! My Flossie did not have cancer but to watch her the last month KNOWING what I needed to do, AGONIZING over what I needed to do and even the tiniest glimmer that...... she had a good day today, walking good today, trying to play today and eating good the whole time (for her anyhow). I would tell myself this is false hope.... you know what needs to be done but just not able to give in. I finally called to make the appointment. One whole week ahead of time. That week was horrible for me but I knew I needed to follow through to not let her suffer as most days she couldn't even stand without the legs kicking her all over the place. She ran (the funny run she had at 17-1/2 with a back injury over 14 years prior) and tried to play with my H & I just 2 days before I put her down.

I lost a cat to cancer and did not take her in time to be put to sleep and I have never really forgiven myself for that as she did not go peacefully. It is awful to see them struggle and be nothing like they have been all those years. I should have let her go sooner but kept thinking it wasn't right since she seemed to have a lot of good days.

I believe that experience helped give me the strength to do what was best for Flossie even though it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. She was so special to me and we had been through many, many difficult times together. She never gave up. Never. Not even to the end. That last week I spent a lot of time with her outside and if she couldn't walk that day, I carried her all over so she could enjoy the fresh air an open space of the farm we were on at the time.

I don't regret letting her go the way I had to. I wish it was not not the way it had to be. I did have many years with her and she kept me sane sometimes when my world was turned upside down. She knew I loved her more than any dog I've ever had and knew I did everything possible for her each time she needed me.

I guess I can't answer "how do you do it? put them down?" I don't know. Out of love? I really don't know how I did it. I can tell you I really, really drug my feet on it. Down to the last possible minute to make the call. I had to get her ashes back before we left the area. It took up to 2 weeks to get her ashes back & I missed the deadline for that week as they were taken to another city for cremation.

Our daughter's cat had cancer also and she waited like me; made her appointment and ended up taking the cat to emergency at 3am the night before her appointment.

So there are no easy decisions to be made as to "when" or "how". It is a roller coaster and will be a roller coaster when he is gone too..... when is the right time to let go? I think you know your Gabriel better than anyone else so when the mind and the heart can stop the quarrel..... it will be time.

Lots of people here have great thoughts and ideas that have helped them. They all understand what we go through. Most of them have been there. Some many times and have the greatest words of comfort for each new grieving parent, as well as those of us that are not so new here but still need kind words and special thoughts & prayers.

Thinking of you and your Gabriel as you help and comfort him with his journey to the Rainbow Bridge to wait for you.

Ginger

Murphy's mom,

There is no easy way. It hurts us so much because we love them so much. They understand everything and are there for us no matter what. The thought of not having their comfort is just awful.
Like said before it is and will be a long rollar coaster ride and everyone is here to help get you along.

Also like Ginger said, you know your Gabriel better than anyone. Only you can make the decision when the time is right for the journey to the Rainbow Bridge.

Just savor every moment you have left and enjoy, give lots of love and hugs.

Let us know how things are going.

Hugs and prayers for you and Gabriel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well thank you all for all the words of comfurt for the last 3 months. He finally has told us in his own way it is time. We are going to make the call tomorrow morning. He cant walk on his own, he isnt keeping alot of food down or eating like he did, and he doesnt want to get up to play or even greet us at the door. His tail doesnt even wag. It kills me to see him so sad. And I know we are doing the right thing. I can not bring my self to let him suffer through anymore pain. I love him so much. . . I was watching a movie yesterday and it was called The Bucket List. It was a movie about two patients with terminal cancer. And they pretty much spent the rest of their time living it up. And I believe we were able to do that for him too. We gave him everything and anything he wanted and more. I just wish we could have gone camping one more time or gone on one last wallk. It is so hard to think he wont be there anymore. I am leaving to see family on the 26th and I feel bad leaving my sister and dad here on there own. This will be the third christmas in a row we have gone through losing a pet. Hopefully we will find some peace in knowing he will be free from this cancer. He will be up in heaven just waiting for us with our other baby scooter. I think knowing it is going to happen is the hardest part. That thought in the back of your head that just keeps telling you hes leaving soon. He wont be here tomorrow. Oh I will miss him so much. My little Gabriel. How unfair.

My thoughts and prayers go with you today as you free Gabriel from his pain and suffering. Out of the love you have for Gabriel, you have made a very unselfish decision. As he makes that grand transition, I hope you find some peace in your heart knowing Gabriel will be made whole again. One day you and he will find each other again and be together forever as you live in eternal bliss. Until that day comes, know that Gabriel's spirit will stay alive and well around you and within you.

Hugs of comfort from my heart to yours,
Beth

I am so sorry to hear about Gabriel. I know what you are going through. We had to let our Casey go on Nov 13th. It was very hard, but he had lung cancer and we could see that he was suffering. It is a decision that is made out of love. I miss him so much, at times I just sit and look at his picture and cry. I know he is in a better place and that someday we will be reunited.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Take care,
Karen

Your little Gabriel was very lucky to have a mom like you, he takes your love with him and waits wrapped in it for the day where you will be reunited.

I am so releived he is not in pain or sick any longer. But I am also so sad to lose such a very good friend. He was one of a kind just like all the others we come to love. But I know that some day I will see him again. I could just see him feel at ease when he went. But it still doesnt stop all the pain of not having him here at home. . . that I know will take time just as it has before. . . it sucks, but I would do it all over again if I could. There is no love like the love of a pet.

When you said: I am so relieved he is not in pain or sick any longer. But I am also so sad to lose such a very good friend. He was one of a kind just like all the others we come to love. But I know that some day I will see him again. I could just see him feel at ease when he went. But it still doesnt stop all the pain of not having him here at home. . . that I know will take time just as it has before. . . it sucks, but I would do it all over again if I could. There is no love like the love of a pet.


You truly said it all so very well. Your thoughts, your feelings are well known by so many here.
I asked a vet years ago when to know to make the decision and his answer was..when there is no more quality of life. I understand that and used it as my guide. When my last boy had to leave and I had to make that decision in the ER....all I felt inside was it was so important that he not suffer. I know when I get these babies that a day will come when they have to leave and I still get them anyway cause that time with them is worth so very much. The intense pain we have is because we love them so much and it is the pain of missing them...every day.

But then, as I said, you said it all so well and...you summed it all up beautifully with your last sentence..........There is no love like the love of a pet.

I am glad Gabriel was in your life. I am sorry it was his time. (Strange but not that long ago, I too saw that movie..the Bucket List.. and know what you mean).

I always say just because we know we made the right decision..for them...that thought does not make the decision any easier or bearable. It will just exist.

Hugs and peace. Take it one day at a time now. You truly did make the right decision. But when you think of things....try to remember the happy healthy memories....the best parts of being together.

Judy

Hi. My baby is losing her battle with cancer and we have to put her to sleep this Saturday. I am totally overwhelmed by grief and guilt. She developed a tumour on her foot last summer and ended up losing 2 toes. They weren't able to remove all the cancer cells though and it started growing again. We noticed right after Christmas. This time it has spread. We knew last summer that we were only buying time, but still it is so very hard. Her mind is good. Some days I see the pain in her eyes, but she wants to get up and play with the pups. She still likes to go for a walk. She can't walk too far without making her foot bleed. The tumour on her foot has opened up so we have no choice but to end her life. I know in my head and my heart that it is time to let her go, but I am having such a hard time with this. Her mind is still so good, and Hunny can hold a grudge. I don't want her going to the Bridge mad at me. She has a sister, Lily, up there waiting for her. We lost Lily last summer also. My only solace is that they will be together again. I was hoping that she would slip away in her sleep, but I think she's just too stubborn. I'm sure that she doesn't want to leave us or the pups. She hardly got to know them!! And I wanted to bury her too, but up here in Manitoba the ground is still frozen, so we have to cremate her. Does it sound corny sending her to heaven with a teddy bear in tow and a little letter for her and Lily? Does it sound stupid to send something with her for Lily also? We lost Lily suddenly and expectedly.

Lynette

I am sorry for what is happening and know how hard it is to make the decision. I have had too many special ones have cancer take them away.

your questions of: Does it sound corny sending her to heaven with a teddy bear in tow and a little letter for her and Lily? Does it sound stupid to send something with her for Lily also?

The answers are: No and No

Whatever you want to do that feels right or special to you....IS the right thing to do. Grief is open to all suggestions.

We make the decision to give them peace when there is no cure and we know their quality of life is not fun anymore....but it is never an easy decision and even though we know it is the right thing to do when we make it....that doesn't make it any easier...but it does help us to know we are able to give them peace when we can.

There is no way Hunny will go anywhere mad at you. Unconditional love does not have that emotion present. All they know how to do is love us and we give back as much love as humans can. They know whatever we do, it is for them. If we are allowed to cure something, we take care of it. If there is no cure....we know...in time...we will be asked to give them peace. The worst decision of our life..it always seems to be.

I have seen many here do cremation and have an urn so their special one will always be wherever they are..so if they ever have to move...they are still always together. Maybe it will help to think of it that way...maybe there is a reason the ground is frozen...and you are pointed to only one choice. Just a thought.

Hugs and tears........give your baby a special hug and kiss from me. There are many here who I know will be sending their prayers and hugs also.

Judy

Thank you Judy for your kind words.

This is really hard. I know in my heart that we have no choice. My husband found another lump on her yesterday, on the back of her head. So the cancer is spreading rapidly. And I know that even though her mind is good now, it's only a matter of time before things become unbearable for her.

We told our daughter last night. Of course, she cried. But she knew it was coming. We were all hoping for more time, we are grateful the extra time that we've been given. My daughter is pretty strong though. I don't know if she will be with us tomorrow or not. I've told her what happens and have left the choice up to her. I hope she stays home or goes to my parents, but if she chooses to be there in Hunny's final moments, I won't deny her that. I know it'll be really hard for her though.


We are planning on taking her "visiting" tomorrow. We'll go to my parents so that she can say goodbye to them and to their two dogs. I think Hunny has known for a while that her time is near. When we took her to the vets last month, it seemed to be a relief to her. It was as though she already knew, but was trying to keep it a secret from us. But when we saw the vet, everything was out in the open and she knew everyone now knew. She was sad, but I think, in a way, glad that she didn't have to fight it alone now. My poor baby. I feel so bad for her. I wish she didn't have to go through this. She has been very strong and brave. And I am so proud of her. But I know she's not as tough as she lets on sometimes - that's why no matter how I feel, I will be there for her.

I've told Hunny that she'll be joining Lily, but I've always wondered what/if I should have said anything. How do you tell your pet? Or don't you? I don't know. I told her last night that she'll be flying to heaven Saturday afternoon. If she could've cried she would have. I never knew my heart could break so much and so many times.

I love her so much. I just hope I can be strong for her tomorrow afternoon. She deserves only the very best.

I have been agonizing over this decision now for a couple of months and I have played it over and over in my mind. I have been so stressed and worried about the whole thing, I kinda feel guilty about thinking that once it's over, I can grieve for a while and then put this chapter of my life behind me. Not that I want to ever forget her, but I've been grieving now since end of June. I'm tired too.

Thank you once again. Your words are comforting. I really don't have anyone around me who fully understands this pain.

My god this hurts. This never leaves my mind. How am I going to handle it tomorrow? I will need to be so strong for Hunny. I can't stop crying now, what will I be like tomorrow?

I just hope I can be strong for her tomorrow afternoon. She deserves only the very best.

Just a couple of things that might help. I found out a few years ago that if asked...the vet will first give a tranquilizer shot that puts them into a sleep. That is the time to hug them and cry and let go of the tears..cause they can't get upset...they are sleeping. Then the vet, before the baby awakes, will say it is time and will give the final one. Whether you stay in the room or not at that time, your sweetheart will not know so I see no reason to stay in the room unless you want to.

I never had the nerve to stay in the room but I never left the office until I was told my baby was at peace. I didn't know about the 2 shots, and only knew I get hysterical about making the decision and so I knew I would upset my friend and that is not the time to do that. A few years back, my boy's twin brother was put to sleep and the vet came to the house and she suggested the 2 shots and so we had some minutes to hug that boy and cry before he was taken away from us by the final.

As far as crying now...do it...and hug her....nothing is happening to her right now so you two can just be with each other. It is okay to cry. She will wonder in her own way but you can hug her and just say..it is okay.. and eventually she will see you stop crying for a while.

And when you go there to the vet....maybe it will help to think as I do (having had times I had to go by myself when I was single).....what I do is tell myself it is not final yet. I can always say No and change my mind and so I drive there with that thought and I go in with that thought and until the vet says it is time...that's when I know there is no turning back but it helps keep the tears in check when I tell myself...I can stop it anytime right now (knowing deep down I won't but somehow remembering I have the choice of when...helps me). Once it is time and your baby is asleep...you can still stop it up until the vet is ready to proceed. And that is when you can let down again...and many times afterward.

Something I read on the forum a while ago is something that the words help me. Maybe they will help you:

"I have sent you on a journey to a land free from pain, not because I did not love you but because I loved you to much to force you to stay."

Right now, it is Friday and it is not THE day so keep telling yourself today and even tomorrow..you are in charge and can stop it....(we know we won't but for me..by telling myself I was still in command of the decision...just helped me get through the time emotionally).

For me, this decision is always the worst hurt of all but there are times it was even worse..those times when I had to make it when my precious one was not in pain...but the quality of life was far gone and no cure. We do it to give them peace and when I look at any pictures, that's all I can think to say...I gave you peace..and that is all I could do for you cause I could not cure you.
(and I type saying that in tears right now myself).

Hugs to you, your family and your special girl, Hunny.
Judy

Thank you!

You're welcome. It sounds like something helped...I am glad.

You know, the thing about being in control of the decision is....it is really true. I knew I could say..we will come back tomorrow or next week or......and it could really be true. I have never changed my mind because I know once I have made that decision...I know I will go through with it because I remember WHY I made the decision...and that reason is why I don't change my mind.

But it really helps me to always remember.....until it is final.....nothing is final including that decision.

Hugs again,
Judy

Lynette,

Sending you strength for tomorrow. Thinking of you and Hunny.

I think that is perfect, that you will send~ a teddy bear in tow and a little letter for her and Lily. I think that is wonderful. The place I went through to get Ren's ashes after he passed, made an ink print of his nose, and an ink print of his paw, and a clay print of his paw. That was really special to me, and I didn't get the chance to do that with my others. Something to think about. Nobody had told me about that stuff before.

Bless your little Hunny
~ NM

Dear Lynette,

I am so sorry about your little Hunny and what you are forced to face tomorrow. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you during this oh so painful time of your life. More than likely some of the grief you have inside about Lily is also surfacing which I'm sure makes this even harder on you.

But, you love Hunny enough to let her go where she can be whole again and cancer free. No doubt, Lily will be awaiting her arrival and make her transition easier.

Tomorrow will be a sad day as you say goodbye for now...........But trust that one day you will say hello again to both Lily and Hunny.

Hugs of love and comfort from my heart to yours,
Beth

Thank you all for your kind words. I'm starting to get scared now. Only 24 hours to go. One more hour of work and home to see my baby. Oh, how I wish she would slip away in her sleep tonight. Not that I want her to go, but I am totally dreading tomorrow. I just have to keep convincing myself that we have no choice anymore. We did try to do everything for her but even if we had all the money in the world, there is nothing left that we can do.

Thank you all.

I am sending hugs and prayers to you and your Hunny!!! May you have the strength to help her to make the big transition to a better place.
I know it really really hurts, but we somehow find the strength.

Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!