My Sweet Kip, Putting my pet down Options

[Kippysmom]

Hi everyone,

I find myself in the awful place of having to put my sweet cat Kip down today. He's been sick for the past couple of weeks and after countless vet visits, tests and prayers we were told yesterday that he has cancer. The pain I feel is insurmountable. He's only 10 years old and I really thought we had many years left together. What makes this worse is that back in January we had to put down my husbands cat Pedro. We are still dealing with the pain of that loss and here we are again. Kip means the world to me and I feel like I've let him down. I know that I've spared no expense but it still feels like maybe I could have done more.
This will be the 3rd pet that I've put down and it doesn't get any easier.
I'm trying very hard to concentrate on all the great memories and love he's brought into my life but I can't get past this stabbing feeling I have in my heart. 2 cats in less than a year..not to mention the loss of my estranged father...feels too much to bare.
I feel so grateful for my loving and supportive family and friends..and my poor sweet dog Rico..who has had to listen to my endless crying...
I just want the hurt to stop...

[moon_beam]

Hi, Kippysmom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Kippy. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels. Losing multiple companions in a short period of time can intensify the grief.

Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief when you share with us "Kip means the world to me and I feel like I've let him down. I know that I've spared no expense but it still feels like maybe I could have done more." One of the many emotions we all experience is guilt / regret which is one of the emotions that is hardest to reconcile because it comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys that haunt and torture our hearts and minds when we are immersed in deep sorrow. From what you share with us it is obvious that you did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Kip a happy and healthy earthly journey. I hope in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Kip is blessed to have you for your his Forever Mom.

Indeed, it doesn't matter if our grief journey is our first experience or our thousandth - - each grief journey is uniquely painful because each relationship we have with each of our companions is uniquely individual. Unfortunately the only way we can navigate this grief adjustment journey is one day at a time sometimes one moment at a time. I'm glad you have support from your family and friends to help you through your grief journey, and thank you so much for honoring us in offering you comfort, support, and encouragement as well.

As painful as this grief journey is in adjusting to the physical absence of your beloved Kip there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Kip share. Love is eternal, Kippysmom - - it isn't restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Kip's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

Thank you again, Kippysmom, for honoring us in sharing your beloved Kip with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel like sharing a picture of him with us - - but only if / when you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[LittleGirl's...]

Hi Kippysmom,

Wanting to send you my heartfelt sympathies on the physical loss of your precious Kip! There is nothing like the kind of pain that comes with this!

As moon_beam said, the love bond you and Kip share is eternal.

Kip is still right there with you, in his blissful spirit form, but I know it's excruciating not to have his physical self there!

Guilt is an unfortunate part of grief---but I hope you come to realize that in Kip's eyes, you have nothing to feel guilty about. If you had always done everything "perfectly" you wouldn't be human. But I know what you mean. I still have so much guilt over things I did that I wish I hadn't... and things I didn't do that I wish I had! But it helps knowing that we all seem to be in the same boat.

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Sending prayers of peace your way,

Kathy

[Necce]

Hi Kippysmom,

like you and many others I've also had to make the hard decision to put a pet down more than once and you're right: it never gets easier and it's often accompanied by that feeling of guilt, but rest assured that it really is for the best when a pet is going to suffer.

It's also completely normal to feel like you could have done more, grief makes us second guess everything and find guilt in ourselves, but this was nobody's fault, as hard as it is to accept, you did all you could and I'm sure I can say, just by reading what you wrote, that your Kip had a life filled with love and wanted for nothing.

I think it's too soon to concentrate solely on the happy memories, express your grief, I like to draw or write when I have feelings too heavy to bear, what I make in those moments doesn't need to be pretty, it's just a way to let it all out. I don't know if you're interested in this, but if yes, do try it.

I'm sending hugs for you, Rico and your family.


Zoe