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> My Sweet Boy, Koda
Kathleen032
post Oct 22 2016, 01:24 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 827
Joined: 30-October 04
From: New Mexico
Member No.: 536



It's been a very long time since I've visited this website. I joined in October of 2004. I'd just lost my dear dog, Shiloh and was so grief stricken and felt like there was no where else to turn. What I found here was a wonderful group of supportive folks who understood what I was going through. Since Shiloh I've lost another dog and 2 cats. Although their losses were very painful, they had lived good, full lives...Emma the dog was almost 15, Strappy and Calvin the two cats were both almost 20 and 21. Today I'm faced with the loss of another dog, my sweet, sweet little man, Koda. He's a Shepherd mix, and he too has lived a good long life. He actually happened into my life shortly after I lost Shiloh. He was a 4 week old puppy who had been dumped on the side of the road with two other siblings and the mother. One sibling and the mother had both been hit by cars, but somehow Koda and his brother were safe. I was not sure I was ready for another dog after losing Shiloh, who I called my soulmate dog, but Koda was cute and my friend who found them said she could keep one but not both, so I caved and all of a sudden had a puppy. Well, 11 1/2 years later, lots of doggie school, lots of walks and rounds of play and cuddling and everything else that is wonderful about having a dog, I'm facing his mortality. Koda was diagnosed with prostate cancer about 3 months ago. Chemo therapy seemed like it gave us a chance for another year with him, but today I know that I'll be lucky to have him another week. What makes this so hard is that for a dog of his age and size he's in remarkable health. He doesn't limp, his teeth are good, his eyes are good, his hearing is good, he'd be happy if I took him for a 3 mile walk twice a day. He still plays with his toys as he did when he was a puppy. He seems so healthy that to look at him you'd never know his bladder and prostate are the site of a growing cancer...growing so much that he can't urinate (he has an indwelling catheter right now). With all my other animals that I've had to euthanize, I knew they were ready and I felt a peace about the decision. I have to say, I don't feel that peace with Koda. He's laying by my side as I type this...just as happy knowing I'm at his side as I am that he's at my side.

I'm just heartbroken and devastated.
Kathleen



--------------------
Shiloh and Hobbie, you're both gone from my arms, but forever in my heart.

Shiloh
1999 - Sept. 17, 2004

Hobbie
Aug. 14, 1996 - May 30, 2005
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moon_beam
post Oct 22 2016, 02:01 PM
Post #2


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Hi, Kathleen, please permit me to offer you my sincerest condolences in the cancer diagnosis of your precious Koda. Cancer is such an insidious illness it is frequently referred to as the "silent killer" for both our companions and humans. From my first hand experiences I can so relate to how you're feeling when you share with us "What makes this so hard is that for a dog of his age and size he's in remarkable health. He doesn't limp, his teeth are good, his eyes are good, his hearing is good, he'd be happy if I took him for a 3 mile walk twice a day. He still plays with his toys as he did when he was a puppy. He seems so healthy that to look at him you'd never know his bladder and prostate are the site of a growing cancer...growing so much that he can't urinate (he has an indwelling catheter right now)." I know you're looking at your precious Koda and asking "how can this be happening? how can he seem so "normal" when he's so ill?" It is heartbreaking knowing that your precious Koda is in his transition journey from this earthly realm and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

The good news is that you and your precious Koda still have these days / hours together to comfort one another in your enduring, eternal love. Your precious Koda knows it will be difficult for you when he transitions home to the angels, but his sweet Living Spirit will always be with you - - he will always be a part of your heart and memories - - he will always be a heartbeat close to you.

I do know so very well from firsthand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief including anticipating the physical loss of a precious companion there really are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you and your precious Koda travel this very difficult Anticipatory Grief journey.

Thank you so very much for honoring us in sharing your precious Koda with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you and your precious Koda are in my thoughts and prayers, Kathleen, and please let us know how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Kathleen032
post Oct 22 2016, 03:04 PM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 827
Joined: 30-October 04
From: New Mexico
Member No.: 536



Here's a picture of my sweet boy...

Attached Image
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--------------------
Shiloh and Hobbie, you're both gone from my arms, but forever in my heart.

Shiloh
1999 - Sept. 17, 2004

Hobbie
Aug. 14, 1996 - May 30, 2005
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LittleGirl's...
post Oct 22 2016, 06:05 PM
Post #4





Group: Moderators
Posts: 845
Joined: 24-March 04
From: Maine
Member No.: 274



Kathleen,

I'm so sorry about his diagnosis ! sad.gif As moon_beam said, Koda will always be there with you. And yes, when it is his time to become a sweet Spirit.... the physical loss is indescribable. We'll be here to help you through.

His picture is also indescribable--he looks so full of love, like the luckiest dog in the world. And in a sense, he is---to think that he was dumped on the side of the road??!!! And you, his Angel, rescued him. wub.gif

Let us know how things go. Will be thinking of you and your boy.

Blessings your way,

Kathy


--------------------
Compassion for all animals. www.earthlings.com
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moon_beam
post Oct 23 2016, 02:14 PM
Post #5


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Group: Moderators
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Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, Kathleen, thank you so much for honoring us in sharing these wonderful pictures of your precious Koda with us. There is no doubt from the expression on his face and in his eyes that he knows he loved, and has total admiration for you - - his Forever Mom.

Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you and your precious Koda are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Kathleen032
post Oct 30 2016, 10:08 AM
Post #6





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 827
Joined: 30-October 04
From: New Mexico
Member No.: 536



We said goodbye to Koda on Tuesday. As Brian McGory in his "Brown Eyes of Wisdom" article in the Boston Globe says..."They should come with a warning label, these creatures. They should come with a label that says you're going to fall hopelessly in love, only to have your heart shattered before you could ever possibly prepare." Mr. McGory goes on to say that in the end the heartbreak is worth the lessons and unconditional love we get in return. I couldn't agree more.
Although my heart is broken, I'm thankful to have had this amazing boy in my life for almost 12 years. Because of him I played many a game of chase, keep away, hide and seek and went on countless walks that otherwise wouldn't have happened. He taught me that life is like a walk, it's not the destination that matters, it's the journey.
Koda, my sweet, sweet boy, may you rest in peace. You are dearly loved and will be forever missed.

Thank you Moonbeam and Kathy for your nice responses. Kathy, I remember you from years ago when I lost Shiloh and Hobbie. Thank you for still being here and offering support.


--------------------
Shiloh and Hobbie, you're both gone from my arms, but forever in my heart.

Shiloh
1999 - Sept. 17, 2004

Hobbie
Aug. 14, 1996 - May 30, 2005
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moon_beam
post Oct 30 2016, 12:16 PM
Post #7


Forum Moderator


Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,088
Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, Kathleen, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Koda. As you know from previous experience losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. I hope somehow in some way you will find comfort in knowing that your beloved Koda is now restored to his former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Thank you so much for sharing with us the wonderful quote from Brian McGory. When our companions come into our hearts and homes our lives are changed for the better. They literally become the center of our universe. When they precede us to the angels, our lives are changed again as we endure the most excruciatingly painful task of re-inventing our lives without their physical presence. But even though we must endure the pain of adjusting to their physical absence, our lives continue to be enriched because of the eternal love bond we share with our beloved companion. Love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Koda's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, Kathleen - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I do know so very well that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there really are no adequate words in any language that can soothe searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Koda with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Kathleen, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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