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> Thankyou Is Not Enough, Some days are diamonds.
notoriouskitty
post Aug 31 2011, 08:50 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 18
Joined: 28-August 11
From: Sydney Australia
Member No.: 7,245



Hi everyone. I'm sorry if iv'e not replied to you all sooner.

When i logged in today i was totally blown away by the responses ive recieved regarding my baby Romeo. I am so so so happy and relieved to have found this website as the words that have been written have bought me such comfort and peace of mind. I cant begin to express how grateful and wonderful you all are. It feels so very good to know your not the only one to have felt the intolerable pain and heartache that i am feeling. Forgive me if this is a short post but words really do fail me lately. I have so much to say yet my brain is in standby mode at the moment. What really amazed me was the fact that all the questions that were going through my head about his passing, have all been answered for me in your posts. You guys are just the best!!!!!!!!

I have taken aboard everything that has been said to me and have decided to go easy on myself as i know what im feeling now is perfectly normal. The hardest parts are late at night and first thing in the morning when he was always at his loudest! and Siamese are very loud at the best of times, so the tears start all over again! What im finding odd is that i'm actually afraid to sleep in my bed at night...i dont know what im scared of but i'm scared of something. Anyone else had those feelings? But then again maybe im afraid i won't feel him around me. I can't wait for that time when i know he is with me. At the moment its just dark and empty. I suppose after having him sleep with me night after night for 15 years im bound to feel it more at night. Thankyou all once again for your replies...they have given me such strength and comfort and i so look forward to being able to comfort someone else when the time comes. But as the song goes "somedays are diamonds some days are stones" . I guess im still having days of stones.
Thankyou and god bless
Kitty. ***


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"When i was a child, we weren't allowed to have pets...All i had was Silver Beauty, my beloved paper clip"[/size]000080"]
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leejaye
post Aug 31 2011, 09:47 PM
Post #2





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 329
Joined: 13-May 11
From: sydney, australia
Member No.: 7,103



Hi Notoriouskitty, The first nights without my Mischief cat were so hard - initially, I had that feeling of being scared to go to bed, and the first night when i eventually made it there I woke up and panicked because I couldn't find her and then I remembered, my heart broke again and I just sobbed and sobbed, I slept with her favourite blanket for ages, I don't know if anything like this would help you but it took the edge off the emptiness for me...sending you wishes for diamonds and a big hug Leejaye
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notoriouskitty
post Aug 31 2011, 10:04 PM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 18
Joined: 28-August 11
From: Sydney Australia
Member No.: 7,245



Hi Leejaye. Thanks for answering my post. Its good to know i'm not the only person afraid of the nigt! I'm hopeful that once his ashes are returned (today or tomorrow) I'll feel a bit better.
I only wish i had his bed for comfort but i told them to cremate him with the bed. I put him in his bed after he died and didnt have the heart to take him out when pets at peace arrived. Its funny you know..normally there is cat fur from one end of my place to another but do you think i can find any now???? NO...i really got upset yesterday because i just couldnt find any! I guess i am just trying to find something of him for comfort. Anyway..thanks again.
Kitty.
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"When i was a child, we weren't allowed to have pets...All i had was Silver Beauty, my beloved paper clip"[/size]000080"]
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leejaye
post Aug 31 2011, 10:16 PM
Post #4





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 329
Joined: 13-May 11
From: sydney, australia
Member No.: 7,103



Hey Kitty, I'm sorry you don't have his bed...I felt heaps better when I got Mischief's ashes back, I didn't think I would (wasn't sure how I would feel), but I got real comfort, at least she was back with me, where she belonged, hope that doesn't sound weird...he's a gorgeous boy, those eyes are amazing...hope you can sleep tonight Leejaye
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imissyoucat
post Aug 31 2011, 11:35 PM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 4
Joined: 27-August 11
Member No.: 7,244



Notoriouskitty,

I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss and I identify with what your going through. I wish we didn't all have to go through this, but it is so nice to find people to relate to at such an awful time in our lives. I had a siamese boy when I was a teenager and they are just the most amazing, loving, smart cats. Looking at your beautiful cats picture makes me think I might want one of those for my next pet (I don't think I could get another tabby).
I am also so afraid my cat is just gone. I hastily threw out everything of hers when i got back from the vet, and i feel like im trying so hard to feel her presence but i have nothing tangible or otherwise to prove she's out there. I hope you start to feel better. Today was a little better for me (it's been 5 days) but I know healing is not linear...ugh wink.gif













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Gretta's Mom
post Sep 1 2011, 06:23 AM
Post #6





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 2,020
Joined: 13-April 11
Member No.: 7,067



Hi Romeo's mom

No, you're not weird in any way. Sometimes we don't exactly have words for what we feel. For years I named anxiety fear. Sleeping in your bed without your companion of 15 years is stressful and lonely and oh so different. The first night Gretta was gone, I velcro-ed two of her snowsuits (it's cold in MN) together to make a pillow to sleep on. After a couple of nights that wasn't enough so I decided to sleep on her dog bed (it's a big, deep orthotic bed so I almost fit!). I'm a solo so I don't have to worry about what a family thinks. When Gretta's ashes came, they were wrapped in a velvet bag, so i slep with them, too. I'd probably still be sleeping there except about 6 weeks later I adopted a big, Newfie-lab mix who needs the bed way worse than I do!

I'm so glad I left everything of Gretta's in place. The toys she never played with are still in their basket, her snowsuits (which will DEFINITELY not fit Rufus!) are still velcro-ed together in the closet. The day I sewpt up fur and it was black instead of brown WAS a sad day. I'm 5 months in and sometimes I worry that I can't visualize Gretta much any more. But her love is stuck deep down in my heart - and I cry every time I post something here.

Please don't worry. I would guess that everything possible has been done at least once by someone in the Lightning strike family. Have the best day possible (and keep plenty of tissues handy!)

Gretta's mom
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moon_beam
post Sep 1 2011, 08:47 AM
Post #7


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Group: Moderators
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Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, Kitty, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. There isn't a lot more I can add to the already wonderful responses that leejaye, imissyoucat, and Gretta's Mom have already shared with you. This grief journey is an adjustment to both the emotional and physical changes in our relationship with our beloved companions. Transitioning from a physical relationship is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. The good news is that love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. The love bond you share with your beloved Romeo continues on, Kitty, and hopefully as your deep grief eases you will be able to feel your beloved Romeo's sweet Living Spirit forever with you.

I hope today is being kind to you, and that you will feel comforted when you bring your beloved Romeo's ashes back home. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


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In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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